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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a writer (not professionally, just in my spare time) and sometimes when I'm trying to figure out how a character should act, I decide on their personality type and then find information about this type.

Anyway, I'm CONVINCED that this character is an INFJ, and I've done research on INFJs and there are a few questions I'd like to ask the INFJs here so I can get a good idea of how my character would react in certain situations.

How do you act when you're scared? Especially if it's something sudden?

If you were interested romantically in someone, and they gave you a love note and then when you went to tell them that you returned their feelings, they ran away from you (because you hadn't had the chance to tell them before several hours had elapsed), what would you do?

Also, I've read on this forum that INFJs aren't touchy-feely and don't like to initiate touch. Is this the case in romantic relationships, too?
 

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I'm a writer (not professionally, just in my spare time) and sometimes when I'm trying to figure out how a character should act, I decide on their personality type and then find information about this type.

Anyway, I'm CONVINCED that this character is an INFJ, and I've done research on INFJs and there are a few questions I'd like to ask the INFJs here so I can get a good idea of how my character would react in certain situations.
First of all, I wanna say that this is an excellent idea... doing research like this.

How do you act when you're scared? Especially if it's something sudden?
I'd be inclined to say every INFJ is different when it comes to this.

I've done a lot of martial arts and competitive sports in my life, so I tend to react pretty well to sudden things. For example... when people shake my shoulders and shout "surprise", my first instict is to defend myself. For a half second I'll stiffen up, maybe grab their arms and sink my hips a bit (That's judo).

My second instinct is to laugh and shake them back...

If you were interested romantically in someone, and they gave you a love note and then when you went to tell them that you returned their feelings, they ran away from you (because you hadn't had the chance to tell them before several hours had elapsed), what would you do?
Maybe I'd try to find them again after they'd calmed so I could find out what happened. It'd really bother me.

Also, I've read on this forum that INFJs aren't touchy-feely and don't like to initiate touch. Is this the case in romantic relationships, too?
For me... touch is a very powerful thing... but that person has to earn my trust before I'll open myself up emotionally like that. But when I do open myself up... I do love to hug and kiss and everything like that.

It takes us a while to let people "in" past our defensive protection. But we are very cuddling and lovable to people we "let in" so to speak ;)
 

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How do you act when you're scared? Especially if it's something sudden?

if I'm in the dark and someone come up be hide me I scream, but I react to trouble quickly while everyon else is trying to figure out what's going on, I'm figuring out how to get out.


If you were interested romantically in someone, and they gave you a love note and then when you went to tell them that you returned their feelings, they ran away from you (because you hadn't had the chance to tell them before several hours had elapsed), what would you do?

Get ahold of them as soon as possible? I wouldn't want them to be going around feeling denied.

Also, I've read on this forum that INFJs aren't touchy-feely and don't like to initiate touch. Is this the case in romantic relationships, too?

INFJ's be like a appearance that we have everything together, if they've been in a relationship for a long time I can imagine the INFJ always wanting to touch them because if INFJ I trusts you - Its for life. INFJ's are also extremely protective.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)
Thanks, both of you.

I thought I should share my original ideas:

For the "what do you do when you're scared" question, the situation that scared my character was a roller-coaster type boat ride on a river (the character is scared of roller coasters and this was too close for comfort to that for the character). What I was thinking for the character to do would be that a good friend (and eventually love interest, though at the moment they're just friends and the character is only starting to feel feelings other than friendship for this particular friend) was in the boat with the character and the character grabs this friend and holds tight to them and closes their eyes until the boat calms down and then lets go with an embarrassed laugh and a "Sorry!" This is the first time the two friends have been this close other than the occasional accidental collision or one of them wanting to get the other's attention.

for the "what if your love interest confessed they had feelings for you and then ran away from you" question, my character ran after the love interest and caught up with them where they had parked their vehicle. In an effort to keep the love interest from running off, the character grabbed the love interest's hand. Love interest starts chattering nervously, saying they had made a mistake and that the character should never have known the love interest felt for them like that, etc. The character, wanting to show the love interest that they return their feelings and that it wasn't a mistake, pulls the love interest to them for a hug. Love interest stiffens up in surprise, but then relaxes. Character and love interest kiss.

There's another scene I'd like input on:

Character had former love interest before character and new love interest get together. Then old love interest comes back and wants character back. Character admits to having new love interest as well as tells new love interest about old love interest wanting them back, but doesn't immediately make a decision one way or another. Days pass with character doing their best to avoid both love interests. New love interest respects the character's wishes, but the old love interest keeps "running into" the character. Eventually old love interest asks who the new love interest is and then mocks the new love interest. Character defends new love interest and, in the process, realizes that they wanted to stay with the new love interest instead of going back to the old one.

Do these situations sound INFJ enough? If not, how could I change them so they're more the way an INFJ would do them?
 

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I'm a writer (not professionally, just in my spare time) and sometimes when I'm trying to figure out how a character should act, I decide on their personality type and then find information about this type.

Anyway, I'm CONVINCED that this character is an INFJ, and I've done research on INFJs and there are a few questions I'd like to ask the INFJs here so I can get a good idea of how my character would react in certain situations.

How do you act when you're scared? Especially if it's something sudden?

If you were interested romantically in someone, and they gave you a love note and then when you went to tell them that you returned their feelings, they ran away from you (because you hadn't had the chance to tell them before several hours had elapsed), what would you do?

Also, I've read on this forum that INFJs aren't touchy-feely and don't like to initiate touch. Is this the case in romantic relationships, too?
Q1: If I was scared, I would be very quiet and would stare at something particularly random. You would probably think I saw a ghost or something, but that's just my way of contemplating about the situation. I would probably lose breath when I'm surprised and get annoyed when you're a person I know:crazy:. I would also cling to them at times if I'm totally scared out of my wits.

Q2: I would probably look for them, but at the same time, I would give them space for both of us to think it through. But usually, I would run after them:blushed:

Q3: It really depends. If I'm not very comfortable with the person yet, I would probably feel very uncomfortable with the whole touchy thing. If I'm comfortable with the person, they shall expect a series of huggles from me!:crazy:
I don't have that special someone yet, but I'm just theorizing what may have happened.

:wink:
 

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How do you act when you're scared? Especially if it's something sudden?
It is becoming increasingly difficult to startle me, and I generally calm down quickly and assess the situation. When I am startled, I might let out a small gasp, or, in extreme situations even a small yelp. When actually afraid, I would be unlikely to seek refuge in another person.


If you were interested romantically in someone, and they gave you a love note and then when you went to tell them that you returned their feelings, they ran away from you (because you hadn't had the chance to tell them before several hours had elapsed), what would you do?
I would pursue her until I was able to let her know that her feelings are reciprocated. If necessary, and possible, I would write a letter and send it to her, or find some similar way to contact her. I certainly would not let it go. Likewise, I would probably attempt to chase her down, and try to explain the situation, but would never grab her and hug her.


Also, I've read on this forum that INFJs aren't touchy-feely and don't like to initiate touch. Is this the case in romantic relationships, too?
This is definitely true for me. While I enjoy touching when I am intimately involved with someone, it generally takes time to arrive at this point, and it is hardly ever I who initiates the contact. It probably stems from a number sources, namely fear of rejection and a huge personal bubble, as well as a degree of uncertainty as to whether the person is actually inviting such contact.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I would pursue her until I was able to let her know that her feelings are reciprocated. If necessary, and possible, I would write a letter and send it to her, or find some similar way to contact her. I certainly would not let it go. Likewise, I would probably attempt to chase her down, and try to explain the situation, but would never grab her and hug her.
So what would you do if the only reason you were able to catch up with your love interest was that they had run into something and fallen down (but wasn't seriously hurt) and was about to run off again? How would you stop them? Or would you just let them go? And if you did stop them somehow without grabbing their hand and they were chattering nervously so you couldn't get a word in edgewise, how would you get them to be quiet so you could talk?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I would also cling to them at times if I'm totally scared out of my wits.
That's actually how my character feels while on the boat ride (I talked about that in an earlier post) and that's exactly what the character does...clings to a good friend sitting next to them.
 

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So what would you do if the only reason you were able to catch up with your love interest was that they had run into something and fallen down (but wasn't seriously hurt) and was about to run off again? How would you stop them? Or would you just let them go? And if you did stop them somehow without grabbing their hand and they were chattering nervously so you couldn't get a word in edgewise, how would you get them to be quiet so you could talk?
I would probably attempt to reason with her and convince her of my feelings as much as possible, and more than likely I would become confused when she ran away. I am generally the shy one, and the mixed signals would be confusing for me, even though I may give those from time to time myself. I would probably take her at her word that she did not really mean it, and let it go, and then ponder the situation for several days and let it eat at me. If, on the other hand, I was convinced that she really meant it, and was just shy, and I could not convince her without grabbing her and holding her, and there were another way to reach her (letter, through a friend, email, etc), I would attempt that route. I cannot imagine ever grabbing someone who was running away from me.

Actually, the person giving the letter sounds much more like me than the person receiving the letter. That sounds like something I might have done when I was younger and liked someone, and then felt embarrassed that I had done it, and run away.
 
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