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Hello everyone! Below I have compiled a ton of information for every single INFJ pairing so that you may check out how your romantic compatibility with another works! Have fun! :kitteh:


INFJ and ISTJ

How the relationship works: ISTJs and INFJs are both very committed in a relationship, and will set clear, concise goals in their own heads of where a relationship is going. They love to go out and do things together, and will have the best time just hanging out. They’ve been known to surprise one another with small, delicate acts of kindness. They will thrive best in a long-term relationship, and can work as a dynamite team to build a home together. Dedicated and truthful, this team can really work together to create beautiful things.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs and ISTJs are both pretty good liars, and they are totally cool with hiding things from one another. Unfortunately, they both like to be told the direct truth. They are also both very good at arguing, and will take everything personally in a clash. They both are prone to trust issues, and while INFJs are very artistic with speaking, ISTJs like to simply get to the point of it all. Communication can be a major issue in this manner.

How to keep it: ISTJs and INFJs have got to work together as a team to solve problems; they can’t just fight all the time. As much as it may make the ISTJ uncomfortable, sitting down and talking about feelings is completely necessary. INFJs may need to be completely literal in important situations so that all feelings are conveyed accurately. Small acts of romanticism and words of confirmation will help this couple to succeed.


INFJ and ISFJ

How the relationship works: ISFJs and INFJs are naturally incredibly nurturing and will take incredibly good care of one another. They both are very empathetic, and love to work things out in bad situations. ISFJs and INFJs both love to showcase their appreciation and service towards their mate. INFJs love nothing better than being appreciated, and the ISFJ makes it known when an INFJ is making them happy. They will do best in a long-term relationship and are often an inspiration to those who know them.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs love to be relevant and interesting, so they have to prove to their mate that they are fascinating through little "tests". The ISFJ, however, probably won’t take particular interest in such tests. Because they are both naturally quiet, they don't dig deep into each other's personalities often. INFJs can be cold and often feel numb, which confuses the ISFJ and may hurt their feelings. The ISFJ needs rules and often does not appreciate the INFJs intuitive nature.

How to keep it: The ISFJ in this relationship has to prove just how much they love their INFJ. The INFJ must be forgiving and open-minded with their ISFJ, accepting their differences. The INFJ must try their hardest not to be too stubborn, and explain their feelings carefully. Since they both take things very personally, they should avoid personal insults when fighting and think carefully about every word said. With caution, this couple can thrive together.


INFJ and ESTJ

How the relationship works: INFJs and ESTJs are both very giving and dedicated to their relationships, so they take care of one another very well and work hard to keep fires burning. They love to solve problems and value working things out with one another, so even if communication is a bit off they try their best. The ESTJs logical side gives INFJs a sense of clarity and security in the relationship, which is very important.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESTJs are often very bold and can intimidate the usually quiet INFJ. INFJs have many feelings that randomly surface and it can confuse and frustrate the ESTJ. INFJs don't like to be bossed around, and because they are highly empathetic may find the ESTJ to be insensitive or cruel. The ESTJ may see the INFJ as too sensitive or boring.

How to keep it: ESTJs need to watch what they say and how they act, because the INFJ is easily damaged. INFJs need to be very, very clear and logical while explaining their feelings to the ESTJ. The ESTJ simply cannot boss the INFJ around and must watch their words carefully or explosive fights could break out. INFJs need to understand that ESTJs are not heartless, and the ESTJs need to prove it. With communication, this couple is unstoppable.

INFJ and ESFJ

How the relationship works: ESFJs make their INFJ mate feel incredibly important, and will soothe their worries easily. The INFJ will feel safe and nurtured when an ESFJ is looking out for them. The INFJ will fascinate the ESFJ, like a puzzle that must be solved. The INFJ can usually read the ESFJ like a book, and will enjoy the simplicity and laid-back nature of their relationship. The INFJ is very happy to come out of their shell for the ESFJ, and they are very supportive of one another.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs get bored easily and don't like routines if they are not actively engaging. They are quickly frustrated with the ESFJ's logical way of thinking and often write them off as "slow". The ESFJ is very sensitive and definitely will take everything the INFJ says to heart, which is highly unhealthy. If they fight, both of their sensitive sides will clash and everyone will get hurt.

How to keep it: INFJs must be very careful with their actions and words when around their ESFJ partner, and look carefully for certain triggers. ESFJs must try not to take everything to heart, and must tolerate an INFJs words and actions reasonably. The INFJ needs to learn to appreciate what they DO have, most likely unconditional love. When they are careful of their words, this couple is truly beautiful together.

INFJ and ISTP

How the relationship works: ISTPs think intuition and whim is very admirable, and love to be taken on adventures. INFJs love to explain and show things to eager ISTPs, who will remember special details and make the INFJ feel unique. They are both very humorous people and they love to laugh, play, and touch. Because they both love to listen, trusting one another is easy. They are both a bit competitive, but mostly in a playful way.

Why the relationship may not work out: ISTPs are generally much more laid-back than the INFJs, and will find their worrying and analyzing very frustrating. ISTPs often have trouble wrapping their minds around just how deep an INFJ can be. Likewise, INFJs find ISTPs vapid and shallow often. They are both needy and clingy, not letting go of one another. This can often lead to an unhealthy obsession. ISTPs like to be busy and probably won’t make time for the INFJ, who enjoys quality time best of all.

How to keep it: INFJs need to take deep breaths, relax, and trust that an ISTP can take care of them. ISTPs can, and most likely will, return the favor. INFJs have a light, playful side to them that they need to let show when they are around an ISTP. By reminding themselves daily why they love one another with gifts or words of confirmation, each member of the couple brings joy into one another’s lives.

INFJ and ISFP

How the relationship works: In this relationship there are always things to talk about and do together! INFJs and ISFPs are intrigued with each other’s depth, and enjoy one another’s company immensely. ISFPs live in the moment and its fun for an INFJ to experience that kind of lifestyle. They look after one another always, and are very in tune with each other.

Why the relationship may not work out: They get bored with one another easily. Both have manipulative tendencies, but the INFJ will usually keep theirs under wraps unless seriously hurt. ISFPs can be backstabbers, and INFJs find them immature often. ISFPs want to read the INFJ as they do other types, but the INFJ is too difficult to read most of the time. Frustration can quickly take hold of this relationship.

How to keep it: These two need to keep things fun and lively! ISFPs are not always willing to dedicate, and must prove to their INFJ lover that they really are going to stick around. Trust issues will arise if the INFJ feels uncertain of their love. As long as there is inspiration, the INFJ and the ISFP will get along in harmony and will always have things to talk about.

INFJ and ENFP

How the relationship works: These two personalities have an intense and deep connection to one another. The INFJ will find the ENFP fun and exciting, while the ENFP will be fascinated with the INFJ’s depth, interests, and life story. They often become very best friends. Expect many long, deep conversations and a lot of dedication on both ends.

Why the relationship may not work out: The ENFP may get bored with the INFJ, thinking that they don’t really care about what the ENFP has to say. The INFJ may think that the ENFP is vapid and doesn’t actually care either. They are both highly sensitive, and can get hurt by one another without even knowing it.

How to keep it: INFJs must be flexible, and even though they have a lot of self-implemented rules and routines, must be willing to do some pretty spontaneous things from time to time. ENFPs must be focused and respectful of what the INFJ says. They must listen carefully to the INFJ. When this couple is united as a team, their love is infectious!

INFJ and INFJ

How the relationship works: Two heads are better than one! When these personalities meet, they completely understand one another and are intrigued at such a rare, blessed occurrence. They are nurturing, trusting, and dedicated. They will take very good care of each other and will succeed in any kind of relationship so long as it is long-lasting.

Why the relationship may not work out: They understand what gets under the other one’s skin. They understand one another so well that they could simply be the death of one another. They are both stubborn and they both hold a grudge, which means that if fighting starts it may never end. Both manipulative, they could hurt each other more deeply than almost any other two types could.

How to keep it: Tolerance. When these two don’t agree, they must resist their burning urge to argue and working things out in a peaceful manner. If they can achieve peace, this couple is perfection.

INFJ and INFP

How the relationship works: These two understand one another like nothing else and feel a strong connection. They are intrigued with one another’s lives and can talk for hours on end. They are both totally willing to go on crazy adventures and always have a lot of fun together. They are both highly nurturing, and care for one another in a beautiful fashion.

Why the relationship may not work out: The INFJ and the INFP will encourage bad habits in one another simply because they are both so supportive. The INFP may find the INFJ too judgmental or cynical, and the INFJ may find the INFP to be immature.

How to keep it: These two lovers must learn to accept one another’s differences and understand that they cannot change one another. Once they realize this crucial fact, they can work out almost anything together. It is unlikely for them to fall out of love.

INFJ and ENTP

How the relationship works: These two are electric together! They are both very self-aware and deep, and will enjoy lots of long conversations. Both logical and cautious, they can talk everything out with one another and will trust the other one carefully. They enjoy spending quality time together, no matter the activity, and are very careful not to trample on one another’s feelings.

Why the relationship may not work out: The often intuitive, extroverted ENTP may intimidate or downright frighten the often quiet, anxious INFJ. The pair will also have the tendency to overanalyze each other, and instead of reading between the lines will just hurt one another’s feelings.

How to keep it: The ENTP has to be very gentle and cautious with the INFJ until trust is earned on both ends of the deal. They must try to communicate carefully and not overanalyze things the other one says. If they can do this, their relationship is truly admirable.

INFJ and ESTP

How the relationship works: ESTPs love to take their companions on adventures, and will surprise their INFJ with small gifts and gestures. The INFJ loves to nurture, and the ESTP just can’t get enough of their kind, caring spirit. The INFJ is an excellent listener, and an ESTP can pour their heart and soul out to one easily. They often find themselves to be best friends.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESTPs usually have trouble settling down and staying dedicated, while the INFJ is always searching for clarity and closure. An ESTP may be flighty in a relationship, and may make jokes that the carefully-trusting INFJ just can’t take. The ESTP is generally very social, but INFJs need lots of time alone to regenerate. This can cause a lot of confusion and frustration. ESTPs will constantly urge the INFJ out of their shell, and it may make the INFJ feel distrusted.

How to keep it: ESTPs need to make sure that they are dedicated to the relationship and want it to be long-lasting before doing anything else, because most INFJs have strong emotional attachments that can’t be tampered with. Then, the couple will need to work on communication and work out some sort of system for getting along. If they can work together, they can prove to the world that opposites can really attract.

INFJ and ENTJ

How the relationship works: These two personality types are both prone to ration and logic, and make great decisions when their heads are put together. The authoritative ENTJ will probably make most decisions in the relationship, but if they have earned the INFJ’s trust it is a very good idea to be organized that way. An INFJ will feel safe and secure, while the ENTJ will feel appreciated and trusted. Both intelligent and responsible, they usually make great, safe decisions throughout their relationships.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs are very sensitive to criticism, and ENTJs consider that simply a part of everyday life. If the ENTJ is not careful they could easily hurt the INFJs feelings, and an INFJ is very likely to hold long-lasting grudges. ENTJs can also begin to find the usually quiet INFJs boring, while an INFJ may consider an ENTJ brash and cruel. When these two fight, they do not hold back. INFJs can manipulate ENTJs easily most of the time, and their expectations in romantic relationships are often much too high for an ENTJ to fulfill.

How to keep it:
Despite both type’s tendencies to be rational, they sure don’t show it when fighting or holding grudges. In any situation where ideals clash, they need to take a step back and talk reasonably with one another. The ENTJ needs to be gentle and nurturing in order to get an INFJ out of their shell, and cannot demand. Likewise, the INFJ needs to try not to idolize their partner, as they are prone to do, and accept their faults. The ENTJ may lead the way, but if they intimidate the INFJ things can never go right. Communication will be the key to pulling through and securing a wonderful relationship.

INFJ and ENFJ

How the relationship works: Both types are very nurturing, warm, and thoughtful. They have a deep, intense connection and will almost always make time for one another. The ENFJ’s warm, accepting nature makes it easy for the INFJ to come out of their shell. Meanwhile, the INFJ’s self-knowing nature can teach an ENFJ to take time just for themselves. An INFJ can really teach an ENFJ who they truly are inside.

Why the relationship may not work out: An ENFJ may get disheartened with an INFJ’s quiet nature, and may find them to be cold at times. ENFJs don’t usually need as much time to regenerate as an INFJ, and it may make them feel unloved or unappreciated. Meanwhile the INFJ can often feel as though an ENFJ is prying, and that makes them feel exposed.

How to keep it: Both types need to be sensitive and intimate towards one another in order to get their relationship off the ground. ENFJs need to accept INFJs as they come, and INFJs need to be patient with ENFJs. They are simply curious most of the time, and such curiosity can drive their lives to be a fantastic adventure.

INFJ and INTJ

How the relationship works: INTJs and INFJs are very intuitive and can relate to one another in a lot of ways. They are both generally very caring people, and will nurture each other and help one another to blossom. They are very in-tune to one another’s emotions, and tend to each other’s needs with utter selflessness.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs are generally moody and emotional, which can really confuse the usually peaceful INTJ. INFJs like to express things through feelings, and this can frustrate an INTJ, who just wants things to be explained rationally.

How to keep it: INFJs need to remember to explain things in a concise, rational manner in order to provide clarity to a sensitive INTJ. Likewise, INTJs need to be accepting and reasonable when an INFJ is having a bad day. When they work together as a team, they can make this happen easily, and their relationship is almost effortless.

INFJ and INTP

How the relationship works: This pair is honest and trusting of one another. They guard each other’s secrets dutifully and carefully, nurturing one another well. INTPs love logical correctness and truth, and make connections that INFJs are simply spellbound by. INFJs inspire the INTP with their wish to do good and their ability to understand abstract concepts. The pair is very in tune with one another, and they love one another on a very deep level.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs love to read people, and the INTP really does not like to get read. They don’t feel that there needs to be a motivation behind their actions. They can annoy one another easily with miscommunication in situations.

How to keep it: Communication can be a difficult task for this couple, but so long as they consistently work on it and are able to keep their promises, things will flow smoothly and peacefully.

INFJ and ESFP

How the relationship works: INFJs and ESFPs intrigue one another to a wild extent. The ESFP is kindhearted, and will take the eager INFJ on countless adventures. Both fascinated by the world, these two will never run out of things to talk about. While the INFJ doesn’t always show it, they are both very flirty and have a ton of fun simply being together.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESFPs aren’t always super dedicated about relationships, and just love a good time. They can often view INFJs as clingy. INFJs also need to build a lot of trust with a person, and ESFPs don’t understand why all the build-up is necessary. INFJs may put up walls away from their ESFP partner because they feel exposed. INFJs often feel frustrated because they believe that ESFPs lack depth, while ESFPs often view INFJs as completely neurotic. INFJs think that ESFPs are immature at times, and ESFPs think that INFJs simply need to lighten up.

How to keep it: Both sides of this relationship need to consider it seriously. INFJs usually want a long-term, dedicated relationship, while most ESFPs want a short-term, fun relationship. If both parties agree on one kind of relationship, the next step is to get real with one another. ESFPs need to take special care to make sure that their INFJ never feels unsafe or vulnerable. ESFPs need to learn how to get serious, while INFJs need to learn to trust that ESFPs have them covered. INFJs have a good sense of humor, and letting it shine is especially beneficial for this relationship. INFJs need to have patience and know that ESFPs simply aren’t as “deep” as they want their mate to be, while ESFPs need to comfort an INFJs worries and depressive states of mind. Life isn’t always a party, but if this couple makes it through, anything is possible.

NOTE: While any relationship can be figured out with time and dedication, here's the list of the top six most compatible with the INFJs

1. ENFP and INFJ
2. ENFJ and INFJ
3. INFP and INFJ
4. INTP and INFJ
5. ENTP and INFJ
6. ISFJ and INFJ

Deserves special mention: INFJ and INFJ
 

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Woah. Good job, Scootaloo!

I can testify to ENFJ and INFP being excellent pairings in both the romantic and non-romantic sense! :)

The ENFJ relationship
I especially agree that, "An INFJ can really teach an ENFJ who they truly are inside." They spend so much time living for others that they often neglect themselves. She always said things like, "I'd never thought about it that way" and I could tell some self-reflection was going on in her mind that very minute. Having said that, they do appear to know who they truly are. But what's on the surface doesn't necessarily reflect their true feelings.

The INFP relationship
I agree that we can be too supportive of one another, and that the only time I sense any sort of tension is when I'm perceived as being 'too' critical. Usually though I have to rely on sensing that though, as they would never make claims against my intent.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Thanks so much for all the feedback everybody, I'm glad you've enjoyed this or found it helpful.
I'm sort of new here, but I was wondering if this should be written as an article. Any thoughts? Suggestions? How do you even write articles? :p
 

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Thanks so much for all the feedback everybody, I'm glad you've enjoyed this or found it helpful.
I'm sort of new here, but I was wondering if this should be written as an article. Any thoughts? Suggestions? How do you even write articles? :p
There are forum moderators listed on the bottom, you can pm them and ask about it.

Here's another take on INFJ compatibilities.
 

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There are forum moderators listed on the bottom, you can pm them and ask about it.

Here's another take on INFJ compatibilities.
I don't see the list of forum moderators.

Thanks for the article, though! Greatly enjoyed. I found a lot of it to be quite off from the information I dug up, but that's definitely not a bad thing! :)

One thing I found a bit confusing, however, was INFJ and ENFP being an extinguishment relationship. I've never heard that! Every single relationship I've heard of from those two types has been described a quite the opposite, in fact, and my own ENFP relationship is so far from extinguishment.

I was also confused as to why INFJ and ENFJ got put in the "medium level" as well. This couple is electric! And reading into the description of the mirror relation here, I found it to be not very negative either. I guess medium isn't too bad, but I always found a lot of chemistry with this pairing.
 

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I don't see the list of forum moderators.
You need to return to INFJ subforum main page and the mods will be listed at the bottom.

Thanks for the article, though! Greatly enjoyed. I found a lot of it to be quite off from the information I dug up, but that's definitely not a bad thing! :)

One thing I found a bit confusing, however, was INFJ and ENFP being an extinguishment relationship. I've never heard that! Every single relationship I've heard of from those two types has been described a quite the opposite, in fact, and my own ENFP relationship is so far from extinguishment.

I was also confused as to why INFJ and ENFJ got put in the "medium level" as well. This couple is electric! And reading into the description of the mirror relation here, I found it to be not very negative either. I guess medium isn't too bad, but I always found a lot of chemistry with this pairing.
That table is based on compatibility of cognitive functions and temperaments.
While INFJs and ENFPs have compatible temperaments, they don't share a single function in common (INFJ is Ni,Fe,Ti, Se while ENFP is Ne,Fi,Te,Si) which means that their fundamental perceptions of the world are not the same. Since every function is turned into the opposite direction, this relationship got called extinguishment. These relations are often very attractive initially (the article mentions it) but in the long run it can get very strained.

INFJ-ENFJ relations were listed as medium because they lack in stability and logical support. With INTPs for example, INFJs feel that they can rely on INTP's strong logic, but with ENFJ you have two feeling types who are looking to each other for support and not finding it. INFJ-ENFJ unlike INFJ-ENFP share all functions in common and thus have same values, but this relationship is kind of unstable.
 

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You need to return to INFJ subforum main page and the mods will be listed at the bottom.


That table is based on compatibility of cognitive functions and temperaments.
While INFJs and ENFPs have compatible temperaments, they don't share a single function in common (INFJ is Ni,Fe,Ti, Se while ENFP is Ne,Fi,Te,Si) which means that their fundamental perceptions of the world are not the same. Since every function is turned into the opposite direction, this relationship got called extinguishment. These relations are often very attractive initially (the article mentions it) but in the long run it can get very strained.

INFJ-ENFJ relations were listed as medium because they lack in stability and logical support. With INTPs for example, INFJs feel that they can rely on INTP's strong logic, but with ENFJ you have two feeling types who are looking to each other for support and not finding it. INFJ-ENFJ unlike INFJ-ENFP share all functions in common and thus have same values, but this relationship is kind of unstable.
Speaking cognitively, you are exactly correct. However, I tried to base mine off of temperament comparability and the experiences of those in relationships. I didn't look at it too cognitively.
 

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thank you for this thread , it 's really help. it'll be great if you have Any more deep informations to dig in :)
Thank you! I might write some more in-depth information about this soon.
 

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Are there any specific pairings anyone would like me to write more about?
 

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INFJ and ESFP
Why the relationship may not work out:
During arguments: ESFPs will not understand how their insensitive words can hurt their INFJ more than any other person could.

How to keep it:
Communication: The ESFP will "checkout" quickly in discussions where the INFJ is talking about a current event and how it relates to a long term goal.
 

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I think enneagram plays into this a lot... I have this ISTP friend I've also had a crush for years... Totally adore her calming, laid-back and accepting nature as well as groundedness.. I have to hold my instincts back but I really like her. I think she's Enneagram 9.
 

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Hello everyone! Below I have compiled a ton of information for every single INFJ pairing so that you may check out how your romantic compatibility with another works! Have fun! :kitteh:

INFJ and ESTJ

How the relationship works: INFJs and ESTJs are both very giving and dedicated to their relationships, so they take care of one another very well and work hard to keep fires burning. They love to solve problems and value working things out with one another, so even if communication is a bit off they try their best. The ESTJs logical side gives INFJs a sense of clarity and security in the relationship, which is very important.

Why the relationship may not work out: ESTJs are often very bold and can intimidate the usually quiet INFJ. INFJs have many feelings that randomly surface and it can confuse and frustrate the ESTJ. INFJs don't like to be bossed around, and because they are highly empathetic may find the ESTJ to be insensitive or cruel. The ESTJ may see the INFJ as too sensitive or boring.

How to keep it: ESTJs need to watch what they say and how they act, because the INFJ is easily damaged. INFJs need to be very, very clear and logical while explaining their feelings to the ESTJ. The ESTJ simply cannot boss the INFJ around and must watch their words carefully or explosive fights could break out. INFJs need to understand that ESTJs are not heartless, and the ESTJs need to prove it. With communication, this couple is unstoppable.
^^YES^^, especially to the last paragraph and part I bolded and underlined.

As an INFJ who has been married to my ESTJ for 25 years (and harmoniously so for the most part) I can't say THANK YOU enough for making the effort to show "why" this pairing can be so beneficial to both people in the relationship. It's quite refreshing really from the usual "theory only, no taking into account that there are exceptions" mindset. Honestly, from what I've experienced and seen in other couples and their pairings, I'd have to say the success of any relationship regardless of type depends a great deal on their maturity, emotional health, shared values, and respect. My partner and I have learned so much from one another over the years and it's only made us better and more balanced people.

I don't know how "on" your insights are for the other pairings you have listed but do like that you presented your findings for all of them in a constructive manner.


...Okay, I had to come back and add that on a non-romantic level, the INFJ-ENTP (my mom), INFJ-ISTP (my nephew and godson), and INFJ-ISFJ (my dad) pairings you noted seem pretty accurate to me.
 

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INFJ and ISTJ

How the relationship works: ISTJs and INFJs are both very committed in a relationship, and will set clear, concise goals in their own heads of where a relationship is going. They love to go out and do things together, and will have the best time just hanging out. They’ve been known to surprise one another with small, delicate acts of kindness. They will thrive best in a long-term relationship, and can work as a dynamite team to build a home together. Dedicated and truthful, this team can really work together to create beautiful things.

Why the relationship may not work out: INFJs and ISTJs are both pretty good liars, and they are totally cool with hiding things from one another. Unfortunately, they both like to be told the direct truth. They are also both very good at arguing, and will take everything personally in a clash. They both are prone to trust issues, and while INFJs are very artistic with speaking, ISTJs like to simply get to the point of it all. Communication can be a major issue in this manner.
@Scootaloo How do you know my parents?

I actually was really worried that this thread was going to be another 'Praise ENTPs, bash your less liked type' thread, and am very pleased to instead find some well thought out ideas on how each of these combinations would work, both good and bad.
 
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