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Discussion Starter #1
I don't know what feelings to trust or what's good for me. Hey- that's life!

Do any INFJ's with depression and relationships have any rules for yourself about how to distinguish between depressed feelings about relationships and certainty you should leave the relationship? How you know when your feelings are just bad because of depression and how do you know when you have to leave a relationship? I was depressed before the marriage due to outside family/Autism things. I used to manage with medication but no longer do and don't think I need to. I don't always bring my best self to my husband but often do. I think about him a lot.

I'm depressed and my relationship seems too bad on the whole. But, I also don't feel as anxious as before I did without it. Objective facts:

-Loving language 50% of the time
-I'm wishing he were better, but shouldn't be because he's not bad just rational and different, 40% of the time. I use exasperated language.
-We're cruelly insulting each other 10% of the time. .5% of these times we're lightly pushing each other, I'll be honest.

Is this acceptable? Again, I have good reasons to second guess my feelings and worries. I don't know what to accept. Would you accept this? Have you accepted this? Thoughts, Universe?
 

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Cruelly insulting each other is the one thing that sticks out the most to me. If it were just friendly banter it'd be alright, but you made a point to explain how you guys're apparently dead serious 99.5% of those times.

What are you insulting each other over? What are you not satisfied with? What do you expect from one another? If you have a good dialogue about this, maybe you can remedy those problems. If you guys get along and are mostly content, then ironing out those flaws early will be ideal. This can help you both improve each other as people and as partners if you can make the effort.

Solve the problems when they are small and easy to solve, don't let them grow into chasms that could potentially ruin your relationship.

What's important is to be open and honest, and that's something that's required from both parties if you want it to work out.
 

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Well it's mostly serious stuff we fight about e.g. Should we be critiquing each other's weight (I say no because I'm not that overweight and he isn't either), should we be forcing our dog to sit exactly in the middle between us (I say no and he says yes) and should we watch violent TV (I say no, which I get is kind of unreasonable.)

We have such different perspectives that it's hard to solve issues. So, is just letting them go a good idea?

I feel like Fi users always know when someone is crossing an ethical line (e.g. "I knew then the relationship was over") but I feel like my Fe might be making me accept whatever the heck I'm told!

Thanks for answering!
 
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