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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
The relationship between an ENTP and INFJ is often considered one of the ideal romantic relationship combinations. Googling the partnership yields a plethora of results. Some of you may even be in such a relationship. The positive factors are too numerous to mention, but I am more interested in the potential challenges as I am new to such a relationship myself. Here is one such YouTube video that seems to suggest the relationship is all chocolates and roses:


In the video below, an INFJ woman says she struggled because she expected that her ENTP father would protect her with his extroverted sensing. In the end, she accepted that was his weakness and learned to accept him for his strengths. Despite this, she still struggles to relate to ENTP's. Of course, our type seems to have a love/hate relationship with everyone.


I have virtually nonexistent extroverted sensing and little introverted feeling. My partner has the same with her introverted sensing and extroverted thinking. What challenges do these bring, and what solutions have you found? Who takes responsibility for the here and now when both our heads are in the clouds? I suppose those in relationships with other "head in the cloud" intuitive types could also have experience with this issue.
 

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I think (open) communication is the key. This would mean actually taking the time for this communication and mutual listening.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Our communication is exceeding my expectations. You know how you say something and realize it could be easily misunderstood and wish you hadn't said it? So far, my worries have been unfounded because everything has been understood exactly as I intended it. I have also found her easy to understand, though she keeps her thoughts more privately than I do.

Typically, my biggest trouble with relationships come when my partner expect me to have another set of cognitive functions than I actually have. Like the woman in the video, my previous partner was looking for Se-dominant behavior. That is very exhausting to emulate. I'm not a "broken" ESTP; I'm an ENTP functioning as expected.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I didn't see this coming. My INFJ told her father that she met someone. She is part of a conservative ethnic group. Her father was offended by our age difference and that I was not part of their ethnic group. He called her a "gold digger" and said that he would disown her if we got married. As we just know each other from chatting, video calls, and voice calls I understand that she is not defying her family.

If you've ever felt that feeling of death of love, that's what I felt from her last night. I told her that I understood and that I felt sad for her about what her father said to her. I told her that I felt confused and hurt for myself. We were supposed to meet in six days. At this point, my plane tickets cannot be refunded.
 

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I didn't see this coming. My INFJ told her father that she met someone. She is part of a conservative ethnic group. Her father was offended by our age difference and that I was not part of their ethnic group. He called her a "gold digger" and said that he would disown her if we got married. As we just know each other from chatting, video calls, and voice calls I understand that she is not defying her family.

If you've ever felt that feeling of death of love, that's what I felt from her last night. I told her that I understood and that I felt sad for her about what her father said to her. I told her that I felt confused and hurt for myself. We were supposed to meet in six days. At this point, my plane tickets cannot be refunded.
What is the age difference?
I think it is impossible to speak about marriage so early (without seeing each other first), not just for her family, for you 2 as well. So, also impossible to say if her family would still like you after they meet you etc.
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
What is the age difference?
I think it is impossible to speak about marriage so early (without seeing each other first), not just for her family, for you 2 as well. So, also impossible to say if her family would still like you after they meet you etc.
She is 28 and I am 57. She told me that she didn't mention marriage to her father. I think that was just part of her father's expectation if she said she met someone.
Hmmmm... this sounds a little like a mail order bride scam or something. Have you been sending her money?
I never sent her money. I wouldn't send anyone I haven't met money.

I'm sure the age difference is suspicious, but we just experienced the positive interactions that I hear about between an ENTP and an INFJ. There's a lot of laughter in Ni/Ne interactions. We both empathically and intuitively get each other. Both our types are fairly good deception detectors.
 
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She is 28 and I am 57. She told me that she didn't mention marriage to her father. I think that was just part of her father's expectation if she said she met someone.

I never sent her money. I wouldn't send anyone I haven't met money.

I'm sure the age difference is suspicious, but we just experienced the positive interactions that I hear about between an ENTP and an INFJ. There's a lot of laughter in Ni/Ne interactions. We both empathically and intuitively get each other. Both our types are fairly good deception detectors.
A lot of people will never accept large age differences, which is in turn something that should be accepted by those who want to be in relationships with age differences.

Personally, I wouldn't pay much attention to any long-term plans for the relationship at this point, it's always better to let relationships develop more slowly.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 · (Edited)
Previously, I've dated a woman who was 17 years older and had a four year relationship with a woman who was 24 years younger. Age difference was a non-issue (at least within either relationship). There were some minor judgements from my family, but nothing major.

She does want to get married and have kids. She asked if I was open to that if things worked out. That was it. It makes some sense to see if there is agreement in such things at the beginning. We were taking things slowly and planned to see how things would go when we met in person. As I said earlier, her father was the only one to bring marriage up. She was really troubled by what he said, and it looks like things are over between us. Obviously, the age difference is important to her father.
 

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The relationship between an ENTP and INFJ is often considered one of the ideal romantic relationship combinations. Googling the partnership yields a plethora of results. Some of you may even be in such a relationship. The positive factors are too numerous to mention, but I am more interested in the potential challenges as I am new to such a relationship myself. Here is one such YouTube video that seems to suggest the relationship is all chocolates and roses:


In the video below, an INFJ woman says she struggled because she expected that her ENTP father would protect her with his extroverted sensing. In the end, she accepted that was his weakness and learned to accept him for his strengths. Despite this, she still struggles to relate to ENTP's. Of course, our type seems to have a love/hate relationship with everyone.


I have virtually nonexistent extroverted sensing and little introverted feeling. My partner has the same with her introverted sensing and extroverted thinking. What challenges do these bring, and what solutions have you found? Who takes responsibility for the here and now when both our heads are in the clouds? I suppose those in relationships with other "head in the cloud" intuitive types could also have experience with this issue.

.



https://cleverandundercover-blog.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F83595430986
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
[IRONY]Thanks. Nothing better than being reminded of the ideal match you had the day after your ideal match dumps you.[/IRONY]
A lot of people will never accept large age differences, which is in turn something that should be accepted by those who want to be in relationships with age differences.
I don't have to worry about my family. But if I get involved with something like this again, I'll ask my partner to be very careful and be prepared. A fully grown woman may not challenge her culture in some cases.
 
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[IRONY]Thanks. Nothing better than being reminded of the ideal match you had the day after your ideal match dumps you.[/IRONY]
I don't have to worry about my family. But if I get involved with something like this again, I'll ask my partner to be very careful and be prepared.

Probably not type related then. What happened?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Probably not type related then. What happened?
I'll summarize: My long distance INFJ girlfriend of four months and I were planning to meet next week. She lives in another country than her father. She contacted her father back home to tell him that she met me online and liked me. She did not say anything about marriage. We haven't even met yet, so we don't know if there will even be mutual chemistry in person.

He has forbidden marriage proactively because I am 57 and she is 28. He called her a "gold digger." He said our marriage would bring disgrace on his family, and said he would disown her. It isn't like she dumped me, really. It is more like what he said put such a dark cloud over us meeting that we couldn't be ourselves.
 

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I'll summarize: My long distance INFJ girlfriend of four months and I were planning to meet next week. She lives in another country than her father. She contacted her father back home to tell him that she met me online and liked me. She did not say anything about marriage. We haven't even met yet, so we don't know if there will even be mutual chemistry in person.

He has forbidden marriage proactively because I am 57 and she is 28. He called her a "gold digger." He said our marriage would bring disgrace on his family, and said he would disown her. It isn't like she dumped me, really. It is more like what he said put such a dark cloud over us meeting that we couldn't be ourselves.
Well, I suppose you'll have to wait and see if you two can figure out a way to overcome the dark cloud. Who is he to deny either of you happiness?
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Well, I suppose you'll have to wait and see if you two can figure out a way to overcome the dark cloud. Who is he to deny either of you happiness?
We discussed consequences today. He does have the power to ostracize her from the community where she was born and raised. She would have to contact her relatives secretly. I really wouldn't care if I was ostracized from Sandusky, OH. Things are different in other cultures though.
 
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