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Discussion Starter #1
I was wondering what other INFJ's experiences were with other types. Which ones do you get along with best? What issues do you seem to have with other types?

I'll start.....

INTJ = I find them intriguing at first in that they see things at the same level as I do, but it seems that at the end of the day their arrogance and lack of empathy can annoy me.
ISFJ = On the surface we appear the same, so it seems we should get along great right? I actually find that dealing with people who have primary or secondary Si to annoy me at times (which I guess that would make sense since we use Si the least). I get along with them well initially, but as the relationship progresses it bugs me when all they do is want to talk about decorating, fashion, TV shows, etc.
ESFJ = similar to ISFJ where Si is concerned. I seem to initially get along with this type a little better at first because we get along well via Fe more so. Frustrating part is that I often find myself being their "words of wisdom"... just as I do for ISFJs as times, but it seems to be more so with ESFJs because they have to vent about EVERYTHING. I lived with two ESFJs... it was a learning experience, but at times I wish I didn't get that close because its a lot to handle post-living together.
ENTJ = this is other type that I lived with and we get along great afterward. I'd comfort her when she was upset and we were always on the same track with our views and frustrations with people. I was just a little disappointed with her and her lack of wanting a more "home" environment when living together (cause with her she wanted to be completely independent and just hang out once in a while) which worked out fine in the end. But the whole desire for a more "home" environment is about the only place where I was empathetic with the ESFJs.
ENFJ = We see eye-to-eye for the most part and have a lot in common. The only conflict seems to be when I choose to do things that are not for the betterment of the group and they would find that offensive and not be able to understand my reasoning.
ESTP = If I don't bug them too much about planning ahead and they have a decent developed Fe then we're fine. They help me live in the moment and its great..... I do have to be sure to use my Ti around them though in order to make sure they don't walk over me. If that makes sense... because some can seem to be natural bullies. At a younger age, I don't think I would've been friends with an ESTP -- only at college-age.
ESFP = Always willing to give you a helping hand and help me to have fun to live in the moment. They appreciate me helping them when I feel it is needed. The only thing that distresses me with this type is the lack of deep conversations -- I've tried, but there always seems to be a block.
ISFP = Fun to be around but with the one I dated I felt like they always thought the ENFJs were better and that I was just aloof. I could somewhat have deep conversations with him except they always had to be focused around HIS values. It was ultimately an emotionally screwed up relationship.
ESTJ = Got along with them well overall. Dated one for 9 months. Could have good deep conversations with although there were some things that he just couldn't "get". Ultimately had very different views.
ENTP = From my experience... somehow, they just "get" me perfectly and respect that despite our different personalities. I could elaborate more, but that's all I'll say right now.

I can't think of any more good ones right now.... so anyone else??
 

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I don't have examples for each type. But I'll work with what I've got.

ESFP: Married to one. Can be fun, but conversations are always rather shallow. And they have a really hard time admitting if they are having negative emotions. They will go to great lengths to deny it. They are also very fond of the blame game. This is not just my experience with dh, but what I've heard other ENFP's say. They tend to be stereotyped as ditzes, which can be true, but there is usually more to them than that. They have a very hard time thinking about the future, they prefer to live in the moment. Can be rather hedonistic. They love people, and love to be helpful.

ESFJ: This is my oldest son. He's extremely intense. He has a very strong need to be social and active much of the time. He never wants to be alone, and often invades people's space. He has a very strong bent towards conventionalism and hates to be in any way different from the crowd. He's also extremely bossy. He can be very cuddly and affectionate, and loves to have long conversations. He's sometimes distressed by his need for conformity because he knows it's better to just be himself.

ISTP: My middle son. This type facinates me and at the same time aggravates. He's very masculine and physically oriented. He's extremely shy around strangers and has a mortal dread of being humiliated in front of other people. He is very intelligent and asks precocious questions all the time. He tends not to care about the effect of his ill chosen words or actions on other people, it's like he can't see what he's doing, very little empathy. He's extremely sensitive to criticims and gets terribly distressed if he has to be reprimanded, either that or he will make a joke out of it. He's a huge tease, and he will get hurt if you don't play along.

INTJ: My father. He is very similar to me in many ways. His arrogance sometimes aggravates me. He was very distant and absent minded when I was growing up. I didn't have a warm relationship with him, but I care about him alot. He has a terrible time expressing emotions, and usually just keeps them to himself. I think this has led to his anxiety and depression. He has to feel useful and productive not to get depressed. He's an IT person at the local University, which he enjoys. He reads constantly. His interests are extremely diverse. He's taught himself Spanish, and he is entirely self-educated in computers. No degree, though he probably would have enjoyed earning one.

ISFP: My mom. She has always been sort of insecure about her intellect, though she's actually really talented in many ways. She has a deep affinity nature and the outdoors. She's a natural with babies and small children. She loves to plan fun outdoor activities or outings. She's loves decorating and gardening. Her house is beautiful because of her asthetic sense. She can usually read people very well, so much so that it can be rather disconcerting. She can smell BS from a mile away. She's extremely introverted and private. She's really enjoying her empty nest years as it's given her the chance to do things she has always wanted to do. She is really unconventional, but has very strong personal values.

ESTP: My sister in law. She is an enigma. She sometimes seems like she could be any number of other personality types because she is such a chameleon. But ESTP she is. She loves to be around people, but she doesn't trust many of them. She has a way of getting whatever she wants by whatever means are necessary. She's one to watch out for. We are nevertheless, best friends. She tends to just plow right into any project that she concieves of and hates to be prevented from moving forward. She is very creative and her home is very beautifully decorated. She likes to talk a lot about her problems, but doesn't want any advice. There's always a reason why whatever you suggest won't work. She's hates rules and conventions, but she has her own set of standards that she will not violate under any circumstances. She's also very skeptical of all new ideas. Her perceptions about other people are almost always dead on. She's warned me before about certain people and she turned out to be right nearly every time.
 

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ENFP driven exclusively by social acceptance, kind of a one-upper. really sweet and concerned with humanity, but absolutely no direction as how to help. manipulative, and convincing to get whatever they want. great to talk to and bounce ideas off of, i have my most thought provoking conversations with ENFPs.

ENFJ sickly sweet, always asking what's wrong and trying to lend a helping hand. very polite. but sometimes use the information they gather when trying to "talk out problems" to their own benefits. always planning their lives out. gets angered when others don't value their advice. wear their emotions on their face at all times.

INFP completely closed off, tries to pretend that everything is fine when their internal world is crashing down. extremely emotional once the wall comes down. amazing ability to accomplish whatever they set their minds on, will stop at nothing until it's finished... and then sleep for 4 days. a little deranged.

INTJ complete weirdo :) find humor in the most odd way possible. not in touch with their emotions at all, and harbor a lot of frustration within themselves from keeping everything internalized. most likely to find them staring at a wall or studying some off the wall subject that interests them. genuine.

INTP brush off their problems, hold serious grudges, try not to get caught up in the hype and drama of life. always thinking of something deep, but afraid to say it. don't know how to show that they care, and are kind of melancholic in nature.

ENTJ straight forward, force their opinions on others and have a very hard time accepting other's views. have no idea how to communicate emotion, and have no desire to. like to be in control of everything, and dislike when they are challenged. have intense personality, and when they commit to something, they COMMIT to something.

ESTJ anal. must be in control. expect what they demand to be carried out without question. not touchy-feely, would rather show how they care in unconventional ways. very dependable. stick to their morals no matter what, will not tolerate injustice. have no problem writing people off.

ESTP love to live and let live. so interesting because i have such a hard time picking their brain. not afriad to speak their mind. love attention.

ESFP try to replicate the desirable qualities they see in others. very competitive, want to be the best in everything, and love the spotlight. extremely warm, can get along with anyone. high energy. love to be in love, always have to have someone. childish.

ISFJ
never satisfied with themselves. need approval and constant assurance. loving, appreciate little things, always in a rush, always stuff that needs to be done. rigid, doesn't know how to convey what they want, and makes it a point to never burden others with their problems.


... think that's all i know through real life...
 
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Discussion Starter #4
I've noticed that with ENFJs, for some reason if there is a conflict in the room and I'm in the same room with an ENFJ -- the first thing we do is always look to one another. Does not seem to matter which actual ENFJ person it is, but that is the tendency from my experience. And when that happens, I know their emotions of the situation right then in there because it is all over their face.

And raj -- I seem to have a hard time picking at ESTP's brains as well for some reason. There ways of doing things intrigues me to find out but its like they prevent me from fully doing so.
 
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I've noticed that with ENFJs, for some reason if there is a conflict in the room and I'm in the same room with an ENFJ -- the first thing we do is always look to one another. Does not seem to matter which actual ENFJ person it is, but that is the tendency from my experience. And when that happens, I know their emotions of the situation right then in there because it is all over their face.

And raj -- I seem to have a hard time picking at ESTP's brains as well for some reason. There ways of doing things intrigues me to find out but its like they prevent me from fully doing so.



It's because they don't trust you. They don't trust anyone really. It takes a lot to inside the head of an ESTP. It took me literally years to gain the trust of my sister in law.
 

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And raj -- I seem to have a hard time picking at ESTP's brains as well for some reason. There ways of doing things intrigues me to find out but its like they prevent me from fully doing so.
May be they are afraid of INFJ's Ni somehow? It is their inferior function, so perhaps when they feel too much Ni around they pull back and try not to reveal much. Kind of like guarding their own weak spot.
 

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I do not have examples for all types.

NF: Overall I tend to get along with NFs better than any other, esp. Introverted NFs. NTs are second, though I seem to have more of these in my life than NFs at any given time. Again, more so for Introverted. For the most part, I tend to dismiss Sensing types, though I can sustain conversation with them for an (I think) admirable amount of time. Generally, we simply cannot relate to one another, I find, not on a level necessary for more than superficial conversation. We do not usually understand one another.

INFJ: I tend to get along very well with fellow INFJs, probably better than any other type, as long as they are not super attached to their values, such that they judge me for not sharing their degree of fervor. More common in younger INFJs I think. This compatibility probably extends to INFPs as well, though I am not certain I know any.

INTP: I seem to know a lot of INTPs (I think many become linguists). I love their non-judgmental, open-minded nature, and their love of honesty. I dislike much of the P related things, such as often not being able to manage their lives, though, as long as I am not picking up the pieces, it does not really bother me. It also irritates me somewhat that I cannot read them as well as other types. They always seem to be upset about something, though it is more often than not that they are thinking intensely about something. They also have a tendency, I think, toward negativity, which contrasts with my general optimistic outlook.

ENFP: My sister, niece, and a close friend are ENFPs. I generally get along with them, though their exuberant enthusiasm can start to drive me crazy, as can their sentimentality. I definitely need to recharge after spending time with them for an extended period. Like INTPs, I dislike the P tendency for not being able to manage one's life (and finances), especially since I (who somehow manages his affairs quite efficiently and well) often end up helping out.

ENFJ: I get along quite well with this type, and am generally floored by their competence and innate understanding, esp. of people. We are generally on the same page, though they are far more assertive than I am. I greatly admire their unapologetic self-indulgence and free-spirited nature, yet their J makes them earnest enough and serious enough for me to truly enjoy conversation. If I could be another type, this might be it. While, the one I know does seem to see through a great deal of the BS, I feel that she still buys into far more than I do.

INTJ: I am on the cusp of INFJ/INTJ, though I identify far more with the INFJ description (and the NF description. I typically get along very well with these types, and am quite sympathetic to their world views.
 

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Okay, folks, here goes. I'm going to say something first and give you a context for my impressions. I don't know how many of you will have a resonance with this, but people tend to react to me on the extremes: they either love me to pieces or hate me... I have yet to meet (as in face to face) meet the person who was indifferent to me. :D

ENFP: this is my sister, my best-friend, the pastor I work for who adores me. ENFP's and I get on famously. I adore their quirky habits, and they love that I accept them where they're at and I never judge them. They are gentle and loving, though they have tempers that are generally hotter than mine (and I really don't have a bad temper so I don't know that that's saying much.)

ISFJ: this type and I have issues... GRRRRRRRR!!!! The majority of the ISFJ's I know do not understand my motives. I find that they will project their motives on me and try to read my behaviors from the standpoint of their own experience... And then their feelings get hurt. They're so sensitive that it becomes a bad mix because I can't sincerely apologize for something I never intended! I get all caught up and sad for them, but I find myself powerless to prevent misunderstandings with ISFJ's... Lots of angst with that group.

ISFP: Fun, fun, fun... If a little "loose cannon"/unrelaible. But they have amazing energy, and loads of fun.

INTJ: These people and I get on famously when I turn my Fe off. That's not a complaint or anything! I love INTJ's for their strict dependability, and they return that affection in that they love knowing I can be trusted with responsibility. I find them turning to me for advice and trusting me beyond what they would normally trust others. Very loyal friends, too.

ENFJ: I only know one of these and she has SEVERE trust issues, and she actually could come off as ENFX with how she likes to fly open-ended.

ISTJ: I married this one. He is fabulous but I should say that I married an IXXJ!!! He has just enough N cross in there to understand me, and the "duty-fulfiller" part of him has made him learn everything he could about me. He anticipates my thoughts, can read my every action... What can I say, I am so blessed in my husband. Never has another person understood me with the depth this man understands me. I love this type because we go together in all kinds of weather.

ESTJ: dum da dum dum DUM!!! ESTJ's universally hate me.... :(... I have no idea why this should be, but we are a TERRIBLE mix right from the get go. They find me annoying, too emotional, they judge me for being okay with my feelings, and they are angered by my successes feeling like wherever they are they stand in my shadow. I have yet to meet the ESTJ that got along with me.

ENTP: I have several good friends in this category, and I find them fun, lively, universally intelligent if a trifle stubborn. They hate to lose and that uber-competitiveness sometimes gets in the way of their good nature, but other than that I enjoy them very much.

ESFP: Love 'em and nuff said on that. :D

ESTP: I'm not sure I've ever known one well enough to comment. I for sure know an XSXP... Like he splits intro/extro and has enough feeler to keep him from being a strict intellectual hard-ass but I hardly think he's type for either the ESTP, ISTP, ESFP or the ISFP. He's a real interesting person. Just fascinating to be around!

INFP: never met one... weird eh?

INTP: never met one...

ISTP: never met one...

Those last three I'm sure I've probably run into them from time to time, but never had the chance to develop a relationship there.

That's all from me!
 
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ISFJ: this type and I have issues... GRRRRRRRR!!!! The majority of the ISFJ's I know do not understand my motives. I find that they will project their motives on me and try to read my behaviors from the standpoint of their own experience... And then their feelings get hurt. They're so sensitive that it becomes a bad mix because I can't sincerely apologize for something I never intended! I get all caught up and sad for them, but I find myself powerless to prevent misunderstandings with ISFJ's... Lots of angst with that group.
Um yeah that's kind of the same issue I tend to have with ISFJs and ESFJs to an extent as well. Its as if they assume that I am like them and enjoy watching "Jersey Shore" and "going shopping" etc. etc. and at times I will even comment in saying "I have no interest in following television shows" but its as if my words go in one ear and out the next and they start acting as if I'm interested in it again and again and again day after day. Agh.
Then if I try to go deep its like they just don't ever get it..... so frustrating at times. Especially when you have a mother that is one. At least when I talk to my dad my world all suddenly makes sense I don't wonder if I'm adopted. ha.
 
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May be they are afraid of INFJ's Ni somehow? It is their inferior function, so perhaps when they feel too much Ni around they pull back and try not to reveal much. Kind of like guarding their own weak spot.
Perhaps..... I sensed that I was kind of reaching a weak spot when I was trying to find out more deep stuff about this ESTP I was seeing for a few months. He would only let out minimal stuff about himself but I wanted to hear the real deep stuff.... it's as if he could sense where I was going, get freaked out that I was capable of hitting a weak spot, and would then get defensive.


But if you mentioned that to an ESTP, they would never admit to that. :tongue:


Easy way to pinpoint an ENTP from an ESTP = An ENTP will be right up front, so if you try to "dig in" they will be like "Ok, this is me... like it or not I don't care". An ESTP would be hesitant because deep down they don't want someone to not like them. Kind of a similar tendency to the INFJ in a way isn't it? Interesting how we our opposites cognitively and have that similarity.:proud:
 
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