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If you're an INFJ female, do you relate more with other females, or males? Why or why not?
INFJ Females
[INFJ]
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I was asking females, lol
Males. I find that I often feel like I'm in competition when around women, like they are constantly analyzing me to work out if I am a threat to them. Also, on the whole men are less sensitive, or at least act that way, and I enjoy quite a crude sense of humour, and enjoy verbal sparring which I have found difficult to do effectively with other women.
I've always been "one of the boys", never "one of the girls".
I've always been "one of the boys", never "one of the girls".
Why having a developed Ti would make me relate to one gender more than the other? Wouldn't it depend on the person I'm dealing with? If the other person thinks like I do I would relate to them regardless of gender. Maybe you should ask if females with a developed Ti relate more with Fs or Ts, because then I would say in many things with Ts because I get uncomfortable with too emotional Fs or people who have flawed logic.
It's actually really hard for me to say. Almost all of my close friends are women, but that's primarily because I went to school in Ireland and it's completely sex segregated :dry: so there was only women in my immediate environs for a long time. If I'd gone to a mixed school, it's hard to say how I would have gotten along with my male counterparts.
I suppose I will say women, albeit tentatively. I'm certainly far from closed to friendships with guys, and I find some of them very fulfilling since I started college. I suppose the only thing is that I find it hard to find guys who are interested in having the same kind of heart-to-heart, deep, discussions I want. Most guys... well, most guys my age in Ireland just want to talk about what they did last Saturday night, drunk. Or Top Gear (I HATE Top Gear :dry
. Or sport.
But again, that impression is highly biased by my greater experience with girls. So girls... kinda.
I suppose I will say women, albeit tentatively. I'm certainly far from closed to friendships with guys, and I find some of them very fulfilling since I started college. I suppose the only thing is that I find it hard to find guys who are interested in having the same kind of heart-to-heart, deep, discussions I want. Most guys... well, most guys my age in Ireland just want to talk about what they did last Saturday night, drunk. Or Top Gear (I HATE Top Gear :dry
. Or sport.But again, that impression is highly biased by my greater experience with girls. So girls... kinda.
This is very difficult and it depends more on level of wisdom or evolution. I raised two boys and have seen the sheer beauty of men. I have known a lot of wonderful women truly kind and thoughtful, intelligent. So I have difficulty saying. I have some men friends and some women friends. It is very difficult to relate to some of both. Most of my life the best and worst friends I have had have been women.
I don't think I relate more to one than the other. For me it really depends on the person, gender doesn't really play much of a role. Although, I will say that it can be sometimes easier to be around guys. They are usually absent of the drama that most girls seem to perpetuate. But, my friends make up a good mixture of both. Although, most of my really close guy friends are gay.:tongue:
Growing up all my closest friends were girls, then at puberty things just got really fucked for me and since then I've made a couple of close friendships with males (before that not much experience with the opposite sex). I have a couple of deep, cherished friendships anyhow, not that many.
I don't really see a difference, to be honest. All of my closest friends are mature, wonderful, intelligent people, regardless their gender. I've opened up and talked just as much about my feelings and thoughts with the guys as with the girls. Maybe, and just maybe, it might have something to do with the fact the guy friends they have sisters and have lived close with women all their lives?
And then I've got female friends who are very "traditionally" viewed men-like, rational and even sexual identity wise. I'm not that into the stereotypical "girly stuff" nor am I into the stereotypical "guy stuff".
To me... Close friends are kinda... almost... genderless, I mean it seems that way. (Even if there were romantic feelings).
I have high expectations for friends (in a way). I feel blessed to have these people in my life.
I don't really see a difference, to be honest. All of my closest friends are mature, wonderful, intelligent people, regardless their gender. I've opened up and talked just as much about my feelings and thoughts with the guys as with the girls. Maybe, and just maybe, it might have something to do with the fact the guy friends they have sisters and have lived close with women all their lives?
And then I've got female friends who are very "traditionally" viewed men-like, rational and even sexual identity wise. I'm not that into the stereotypical "girly stuff" nor am I into the stereotypical "guy stuff".
To me... Close friends are kinda... almost... genderless, I mean it seems that way. (Even if there were romantic feelings).
I have high expectations for friends (in a way). I feel blessed to have these people in my life.
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Interesting. Keep the input coming.
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I related to boys better back when I thought I was an NT and that still hasn't changed. It's so much more open, there aren't any cliques, and I can just tell that they're less apt to judge me, especially when the pervy side of me comes out. Where other girls would find me slutty or overly revealing, guys find it intriguing or awesome. Just basically, I can be more ME.
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Yep, as a former tomboy, in childhood most of my best friends were guys - they always played the funnest games.:happy: With some women there are dumb roles you are expected to play, I don't have time for that. I just like to be myself, my guy friends have been better at letting me be me.
I quite happily chat away to females (provided they're prepared to listen, which isn't often the case). If I chat to a bloke I've just met or don't know very well I get a fixed grin and a half-look that says "what planet are you on". My friends' male partners tolerate my chat a bit more, but then they feel obliged to for the sake of group harmony.
People just view me as strange. It's starting to feel like I've gone mad and I'm the last person to know it. This self-discovery is scary stuff
People just view me as strange. It's starting to feel like I've gone mad and I'm the last person to know it. This self-discovery is scary stuff
Ach, that's just cause you're obviously a bonnie lass! I don't have that problem, women never feel threatened by me. They like me around cause it makes them look good. Then they toss me aside when I've served my purpose sigh x
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I was a tomboy when I was a kid. I'm happy to say that I could run with the guys very well in their tough games. :wink:
I find males are easier to deal with. This is ironic, because I raised two girls and really didn't want any boys to raise! :crazy:
Males let me in their circle with ease. They find it easy to say anything to me or in front of me. I'm not embarrassed by them. They dish it out, and I give it right back! :laughing: I find it fascinating that they will confide in me too.
I get along with women just fine, as well. I just don't do the deck out dress up thing with make up, hair, nails, clothes and all that stuff. I guess one could say that I'm not a girly girl type.
Sounds to me like I get along better with the guys! :happy:
I find males are easier to deal with. This is ironic, because I raised two girls and really didn't want any boys to raise! :crazy:
Males let me in their circle with ease. They find it easy to say anything to me or in front of me. I'm not embarrassed by them. They dish it out, and I give it right back! :laughing: I find it fascinating that they will confide in me too.
I get along with women just fine, as well. I just don't do the deck out dress up thing with make up, hair, nails, clothes and all that stuff. I guess one could say that I'm not a girly girl type.
Sounds to me like I get along better with the guys! :happy:
Oh, no, I'm not at all a bonnie lass :laughing:
I don't think women actually do end up feeling threatened by me, but it doesn't stop them analyzing at first. I do have several women friends that I get on perfectly well with, but I find it takes a bit longer to get to a comfortable zone with them. The problem would appear to be that guys relate so well to me, will open up and tell me things that they wouldn't tell the girls and will treat me as one of their own, which can be frustrating to the women who they act differently around. It's kind of like a guy will easily fall in love with my nature, but will never be attracted to me physically - still, this could be seen as threatening to a more girly-girl type, especially if she is high maintenance and wants to keep things that way!
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I think I associate with both equally well. At this point in my life (I'm 25), I've met enough people that break the gender mold in both directions. And I've never really had an issue making conversation or relating to either sex (yay empathy!).
If we are getting down to brass tacks - I like females better in general. They are more emotionally aware and I have several 'fallback' conversation topics (like clothes, relationships, etc.). However, males are typically more direct and forthright about a situation (have you seen a group of men interact before? if someone is being an idiot, they say 'youre being an idiot' you won't find that quality with a group of women) Both sexes seem to have their good qualities... and like I said, I find frequently that people surprise you.
Empathy is a huge quality that most INFJs possess, and I think that allows us to relate to all types of people with relative ease.
If we are getting down to brass tacks - I like females better in general. They are more emotionally aware and I have several 'fallback' conversation topics (like clothes, relationships, etc.). However, males are typically more direct and forthright about a situation (have you seen a group of men interact before? if someone is being an idiot, they say 'youre being an idiot' you won't find that quality with a group of women) Both sexes seem to have their good qualities... and like I said, I find frequently that people surprise you.
Empathy is a huge quality that most INFJs possess, and I think that allows us to relate to all types of people with relative ease.
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