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28 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi! INFJ girl here! I'm just curious to know what other INFJ girls like and dislike in men. And even a couple of TURN ONS and TURN OFFS. ;) I'm a teenager, so my list may be a bit different. But hey, they say INFJ teenagers have "old souls." (I know this irrelevant, and I'm trying to boast, but people say I'm the only person they can talk to about problems 'cause I'm so adult like...I feel flattered and stuff! :D)

Name 5 Wanted Traits, Name 5 Turn-Off Traits, Name 5 Physical Appearance Turn Ons, and Name 5 Physical Appearance Turn Offs.

P.S I know there's a thread similar to this but it's 2 years old, so I thought about something new! :D

Wanted Traits
1. Very intelligent and deep
2. Kind hearted and caring
3. Tough minded and strong willed
4. Very funny and never fails to make me smile/laugh
5. Confident and mysterious

Turn Off Traits
1. Insensitive
2. Obnoxious and Vulgar
3. Dumb and Dependent
4. Close-Minded
5. Impolite and rude to others

Wanted Physical Appearance:
1. Really tall
2. Dark and full hair
3. Warm eyes
4. A genuine smile
5. Clean Hygiene

Turn Off Physical Appearance:
1. Short
2. Paleness
3. Chubby
4. Dirty
5. No damn style

OH! And am I the only one like this? It's annoying how girls always tell other girls how "ew, he's ugly" but then tell others, "oh, I like them for their personality."


You know what? I'm going to take the cake, and be honest. It's half true. For me anyway. It's like...I'll be attracted to you faster if you're attractive to me, but if you do have a really cool personality, I'll see that quickly, and fall for you. :)

421 Posts
Wanted Traits:
1. Kindness and compassion
2. Well-read, well-spoken, and intelligent
3. Politeness
4. Positivity/optimism
5. Well-developed humour

Unwanted Traits:
1. Rudeness
2. Misogyny
3. Overly religious
4. Ignorance (especially if it's willful)
5. Obnoxious

Wanted Physical Appearance:
1. Pretty eyes. Oh god I love eyes. Preferably blue, green, hazel, gold, grey... any of those. I don't care for dark eyes, they scare me. (No offence to anyone.)
2. Somewhat tall, but not ridiculously so, and with a slender or thin build (i.e. I like beanpoles)
3. Well-dressed
4. Great smile, nothing offputting.
5. A cute face. I'm not asking for a male model. Just a fairly cute or handsome face will suffice.

Unwanted Physical Appearance:
1. Chubbiness, overweight (it tells me that you don't care much about your appearance, probably)
2. Poor hygiene - ugh.
3. Shabby clothing (again, it tells me that you don't care)
4. Misplaced tans (please, try sunscreen....)
5. Baldness

14,145 Posts

the type who knows what he wants. who knows what he needs. and the disciplined intellect to tell the difference.

turn off traits would be:

someone dumb as a bag of rocks. someone who talks like he has rocks in his mouth. someone with rocks in his pocket.


so long as he let's me be dominant when I'm in the mood and has just enough muscle to toss me around like a rag doll. I'm happy. :p

733 Posts
Wanted Traits
1. Passionate, romantic, deep
2. Kind hearted and caring
3. A good combo of serious and playful
4. Loves to discuss things and experience things with me (share interests, etc.)
5. Shares my values, is serious about the relationship

Turn Off Traits
1. Apathetic
2. Obnoxious
3. Mean, uncaring towards others
4. Arrogant
5. Boring, stupid (I mean this in the way that he is uninterested in having meaningful conversations, doesn’t really connect with me on any level, is superficial)

Wanted Physical Appearance:
1. Dark hair (wavy/curly is a plus too)
2. A face I find attractive
3. Deep eyes
4. Kind smile
5. Dresses well (or at least cares about what he wears)

Turn Off Physical Appearance:
1. Shorter than me (but this shouldn’t be a problem because I’m only 5’2”…)
2. Huge muscles
3. Smoking (more of a behavior, but I think this fits here)
4. Sloppy appearance
5. No hair

643 Posts
5 wanted traits:
-empathy and understanding
-kind-hearted to me and others
-loving towards me
5 turnoff traits:
-sarcasm TO THE MAX -.-
-cold-face (doesn't show emotion towards me)
-extremely OCD or picky (a little is fine but I know people who pick on every single thing especially with what I wear!)
5 physical turn on:
-does some tattoos count?! (Love art :))
-tall (I would really like to solve my short problems :) )
- eyes (I can just tell)
5 physical turn off:
-extremely big
-short( sorry, I'm short. There can't be two short people :) )
-facial hair( like OUT of control hair: lumberjack beards or moustaches that grow past your chins <- if there is such a thing)
-messy hair (I'm more lenient towards this because I can fire trucking understand how much effort and shit your hair puts you through -.-)

154 Posts
Wanted traits
- non judgemental/understanding
- smart
- modest
- independent
- logical

Turn off traits
- insecurity
- immature jealousy
- gossiping/insults
- too feminine
- too emotional/sensitive

Physical Appearance Turn Ons
- strong
- stubble/beard
- unique hair - dreads or ponytail
- serious, intense eyes
- square jawline

Physical Appearance Turn Offs
- fat
- creepy/unattractive facial hair
- too much muscle
- dirty, unhygienic
- metro sexual style/behavior

1,722 Posts
tempted to go off format here, but I'll resist ^.^

wanted traits:

1. intelligence that makes me drool
2. very open minded, but knows where to draw the line
3. good heart
4. clever ;)
5. passion for as much of life as he can get

I have to add a 6th
6. Honest (not just sometimes honest. through and through is able to and wants to be honest with me)

ohgosh. i have to add a 7th -_-. What did I say about sticking to the format? bologna.
7. socially adept

turn off traits:

1. bad heart-- inflicting pain on others for sport, always putting personal gain first, deception, cruelty, overly obsessed with self or status related things, not being able to recognize or care when you've caused pain, dismissive of others
2. painfully introverted
3. timid/doubting
4. boring
5. too serious
6. (>.<) unable to have a smooth conversation with me

physical appearance turn ons:

1. taller than me
2. breathtaking eyes
3. appealing shoulders/neck/hands
4. jawline that i like
5. voice that my ears want to never stop hearing

physical appearance turn offs:

1. too much weight
2. too much muscle
3. too tall and thin
4. too normal looking
5. bad hygiene

From my experience, who the person is can sway me enormously. I've been known to be strongly attracted, and then feel nothing because i realized i had no interest in who they were. I've also found certain individuals to be not very attractive, and then in person they were the sexiest thing In the room because of how intoxicating their personality was. Before those few experiences though, I think I thought "what's inside" couldn't override physical attraction or lack thereof, and could barely influence. boy was I wrong.

I prefer the guy that has the mental strength to do what's needed. However, there will always be ways to consider others in your actions while doing what's needed. If they can't do that, then I wouldn't tolerate.

Arrogance is an interesting thing. I can't stand foolish arrogance, or all-consuming arrogance. Arrogance as a humor technique, fully backed up arrogance, and arrogance which you know exists alongside more human (but not excessive) insecurities...those are quite :blushed:

549 Posts

Oversensitive, sulky in private(too cute)
Level Headed
Fatherly but lets me mother him(like a mommy/daddy couple. awwwwe)
A little bit shy
Wacky sense of humor
Enjoys learning
Believes that the sky is the limit, that anything is possible
Is his own person without alienating everyone


Needlessly mean
Lives for other people instead of himself, must ask his friends for permission
Starts fights needlessly
Wants a woman only when he can't have her(are you gay? seriously? you only want the woman when she's not available?)
Blames society/parents/me for all of his problems
Doesn't try, gives up easily
Always needs to be entertained
Catty(Oh you ruined my birthday when you made that comment! I'm going to tell your best friend all about how your REALLY are! Hmmph, blonde really is your natural color. Well who likes her, she's just a little ho! I'm leaving and I'm not calling you back! Wahhh!)
Bad hygiene(wash yo clothes, wash yo hose, don't pick yo nose)

761 Posts
There should be a separate thread for the guys, they're going to feel left out. xD

Wanted Traits
1. Kind, considerate, loyal
2. Respectful, unmaterialistic
3. Brave, able to protect his loved ones
4. Unafraid to be himself but also mindful
5. Fun to be with :)

Turn Off Traits
1. Inconsiderate, rude, selfish
2. Lying, manipulative
3. Sexist, elitist
4. Poor hygiene
5. Acting before thinking that bring negative consequences

Wanted Physical Appearance:
1. Any eye color, hair color
2. My same height or taller
3. Decent dressing xD (not dirty, etc)

487 Posts
Wanted Traits
1. Intuitive
2. Fun and spirited
3. Confident, maybe even slightly cocky
4. Witty
5. Spiritual and deep

Turn Off Traits
1. Sexist... we're partners in this life bud, neither gender has anything on the other.
2. General rudeness.
3. Lack of motivation
4. Unsupportive
5. Vulgarity, verbal or any other form.

Wanted Physical Appearance:
1. Average height and weight
2. Blue or Green eyes
3. On the pale side (I look pale when I'm NOT standing next to a tan person!)
4. Long-ish hair. Specifically fringe <3
5. Clean shaven or well kept and short facial hair.

Turn Off Physical Appearance:
1. The Farmer's Tan
2. Dark brown eyes
3. Bald or extremely short hair
4. Duck Dynasty beards
5. *******/Country style. Seriously. I'm from Tennessee, those boots, hats, and spurs are neither practical nor stylish.

1,594 Posts
Wanted Traits:
1. Loyal and honest. This one cannot be stressed enough.
2. Confident, assertive, and direct
3. Intelligent, with an analytical and decisive personality
4. At least somewhat athletic
5. Responsible and disciplined
6. Witty, with a sharp, irreverant sense of humor; capable of being playful on occasion
7. Sexual and intense
8. As respectful and accepting of me as I am of him
9. Politically inclined in the same general direction as me
10. Not easily agitated; steady and not prone to excessive anxiety

Turn Off Traits:
1. Too idealistic/unrealistic; irrational or unreasonable
2. Too outwardly emotional or corny
3. Unnecessarily cruel
4. Conceited; overly narcissistic and selfish
5. Lazy and/or irresponsible
6. Unintelligent and/or gullible
7. Manipulative
8. Overly anxious
9. Smoker/drug user/excessive drinker (in moderation, alcohol doesn't bother me and is even fun sometimes)
10. Priorities and life goals that are incompatible with mine

Wanted Physical Appearance:
1. Lean and fit, neither too skinny nor too brawny
2. Taller than me by at least a couple of inches (I'm 5' 7")
3. Sharp, distinct features.
4. Hair is preferable, but no hair isn't necessarily a dealbreaker, and I don't generally care about the color
5. Well-dressed in public (not dressed "up" so much as being dressed presentably & appropriately for the situation)

Turn Off Physical Appearance:
1. Being too brawny or too skinny or significantly overweight
2. Too hairy; too much facial or body hair (some is fine)
3. Sloppy-looking when not at home (not to be confused with casually dressed, which I like when it's not slovenly)
4. Too short
5. Bad hygiene

3,967 Posts
Wanted Traits
1. Honesty- includes the ability to practice communicating openly and discreetly in many ways
2. Listens and shares; compassion and passion
3. Makes the effort to be close to me emotionally and physically, to foster many levels of intimacy
4. Finds ways with me for us to laugh together and discover more about each other
5. Is willing to go explore, learn together, and try potentially fun new things together

Turn Off Traits
1. Ignorance is their bliss
2. Escapes too frequently, in harmful ways- turns to drugs /substance abuse /addictions of any and many a kind
3. Words and actions don't match up; dishonesty and hypocrisy
4. Self-absorbed
5. Unfaithful

Wanted Physical Appearance: Um, I'm demisexual. Physical preferences are too restrictive.
1. Healthy
2. Healthy
3. Healthy
4. Healthy
5. ...did I mention healthy? For each person what individually defines "healthy" in all aspects and regards will vary.

Turn Off Physical Appearance:
1. The person doesn't realize how beautiful they are
2. The person doesn't feel comfortable in their body
3. Ignored areas of body and hygiene from the person's neglect due to personal repulsion; horrible hygiene
4. Clothing is unkempt or reeks, for example smells like cigarette smoke or marijuana, or is stained
5. What the person is wearing attracts a shallow -perhaps an unhealthy- type of attention

-messy hair (I'm more lenient towards this because I can fire trucking understand how much effort and shit your hair puts you through -.-)
^____^ *LOL*

612 Posts
Wanted traits:
1. Intelligence and an ability to make logical decisions
2. Loyalty and kindness
3. Sanity
4. A good sense of humor
5. Confidence

Turn-off traits:
1. Disability to "feel the atmosphere" (e.g. making jokes when you actually want to have a serious conversation)
2. Manipulative behavior
3. Arrogance
4. Effeminacy (e.g. too romantic, someone who makes me feel like I'm acting more like a man than him...)
5. Putting on an act, not being himself

Wanted Physical Appearance
1. Really beautiful, warm eyes, which I'm not afraid to look into and which show me that he has good intentions2. Dark hair
3. A face that looks good with a beard
4. Good smell
5. Decent clothing

Physical Appearance Turn-offs:
1. Too much weight or too much muscle
2. Too thin
3. Really pale skin together with light hair
4. Bad hygiene
5. Moustache

1,223 Posts
Wanted traits:
1. Someone funny and optimistic
2. kind and understanding
3. someone who always is surprising me
4. thoughtful
5. hard working

Turn offs:
1. rudeness/ being obnoxious
2. ill-tempered
3. Lacks common sense ( it doesn't matter that much to me if he is academically smart, but common sense is necessary for me)
4. Manipulative
5. immaturity

Physical turn-ons:
1. bright eyes
2. a nice smile
3. Fit but not bulky.
4. Clean shaven
5. Decent haircut

Physical turn-off:
1. shorter than me
2. too skinny or bulky
3. poor hygiene
4. untrimmed
5. constantly messy appearance

3,602 Posts
Like my INTP SO; shy, introverted, sensitive, affectionate, awesome sense of humour, tubby figure, fair-skinned and messy-haired! :blushed:

To be more specific:

Wanted Traits:
1. Good-hearted
2. Both he and his family treats me well
3. A set of personal principles that he'll stick ardently to and never betray.
4. Strong sense of self-worth
5. Sensitive and understanding
6. Cooperative
7. Trustworthiness
8. Honesty
9. Openly communicative with me
10. Determination and persistence.
11. Compassionate

Turn Off Traits:
1. Engage in vices (gambling, extramarital sex and extraneous relationships, smoking, alcoholism, illegal activity, fraud, addiction, compulsive habits, etc.)
2. Greed
3. Spendthrift
4. Personality disorder
5. Evilness and bad intentions
6. Finger-pointer
7. Jerk or a**hole.
8. Inconsiderate of others' feelings and welfare
9. Self-centered.
10. Vanity and materialistic.
11. Trying too hard to be a fake.

Wanted Physical Appearance: (Not of much importance)
1. Plump
2. Fair-skinned
3. Ginger or dark-haired
4. Open and friendly-looking
5. Taller than me

Turn Off Physical Appearance:
1. Sickly-looking
2. Appears too young (like a teenager)
3. Cunning or scheming-looking face
4. Acting cool or acting cute
5. Bad teeth
6. Unhygienic

2,258 Posts
Traits I value:
- openness to experience
- a kind heart
- shared interests
- maturity
- sense of humor
- resilience
- intelligence
- fun and adventurous nature
- self confidence

Traits I don't like:
- self-centerdness
- excessive pride
- a closed heart
- ignorance
- manipulative nature
- negativity
- defeatist attitude
- cruelty

Physical turn ons:
- dark hair
- some muscle
- sideburns
- chest hair
- some meat on the bones
- personal style
- tattoos

Physical turn offs:
- bad hygiene
- daddy beard
- terrible clothes
- stretched earlobes
- generic style

263 Posts
What can I say? I don't like making people conform to standards, I like them as they are.

The best man I've ever happened across was an ISTJ, hands down.

1,594 Posts
What can I say? I don't like making people conform to standards, I like them as they are.

The best man I've ever happened across was an ISTJ, hands down.
The best I've ever known was an ESTJ....those xSTJs get a bad rap, and it ticks me off. As a general rule, they're amazing people.
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