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I'm curious to hear from INFJ guys about whether you're attached or single, and with which temperaments you've found your greatest relationship success.

I've always felt that INFJ guys don't necessarily have a given type with which we find greater success than others. I think certain types are generally poor pairings for us (e.g. STJs), but overall I think INFJ men generally pair with those unique members of the other sex who see something worthwhile in us.
 

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I'm curious to hear from INFJ guys about whether you're attached or single,
In the way you mean, single.

and with which temperaments you've found your greatest relationship success.
ENFPs. But, um, they . . . well, never mind. It's better if you learn for yourself.

I've always felt that INFJ guys don't necessarily have a given type with which we find greater success than others. I think certain types are generally poor pairings for us (e.g. STJs), but overall I think INFJ men generally pair with those unique members of the other sex who see something worthwhile in us.
The other sex, and the same sex too.

There are good and worthy people in all the types; but there's magic between INFJs and ENFPs. Trust me on this.
 

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Sure, I'll bite.

I'm single. Chronically, terminally single. Relationships and I don't exactly get along. The ones I do end up in I only really recognize as such after the fact. I tend to be quite oblivious to that sort of thing, although when I ask for help I get laughed at because apparently, I'm a consummate flirt. Go figure.

As for the second part... well, let's just say that the stereotype that gets thrown around, that INFJs and ENFPs make a great pair, well, as with all stereotypes, there's a bit of truth behind it. Unfortunately. But not really. But really. Yeah. Um, to try and diffuse the subject a bit, I've also found that for some reason ISxJs seem to like me. No idea why, but it's all good.
 

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Typical of me to apparently gel so well with a male INFJ i.e a wild fucking unicorn

Where are you all hiding? You certainly are not wherever I am...
 

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ENFPs. But, um, they . . . well, never mind. It's better if you learn for yourself.
 


I know that INFJ/ENFP works pretty well for me, but I have yet to see it in action when the genders are switched. Mostly because I've met so few male INFJs to begin with.
 

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I know that INFJ/ENFP works pretty well for me, but I have yet to see it in action when the genders are switched. Mostly because I've met so few male INFJs to begin with.
Naturally it varies with the individual; but INFJs and ENFPs both need alone time, but different sorts of alone time. It can take a good deal of understanding and some adjustment for each side to accommodate this in a mutually acceptable way. My experience in this, which [cough] I like to think is vast and rich [cough blush cough], is that, once this hump is crossed over, it's everything wonderful. And sometimes it's smooth sailing from beginning to end, so, um . . . good times, folks, good times . . . [reminisces, sighs] . . .

I unfortunately or fortunately don't relate to people on the basis of gender--people are just, like, people--so I honestly can't really address genderly things.
 

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Single INFJ here.

Dated a ENFP girl back when I was a teenager and it was very intense but short lived. I also had a boss at a marketing company who was a female ENFP, and the working relationship between her and I was absolutely phenomenal. She was easily the best boss I ever had the pleasure of working for.
 

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INFJ for me for sure, except that you didn't exist when I was 25 and looking. PerC is the only place INFJ males exist. So instead, I'm married to my INFP and love him. There's not enough of you all to go around. Aren't ENFPs 3%-5% of the population and you all 1% and many mis-typed so some of us ENFPs have to adapt to not having you. Plus some of you don't realize yet what is to be had here. The extroversion scares you off. Or you meet a few of us young ones who need to explore longer. Anyway, if any INFJs and ENFPs are getting together I want to know about it! Deal? So I can write romance novels off of it! lol Also, I will gather a few of you as close friends because my heart and actually life needs INFJs and mourns the lack of you. =) Even 1 will do nicely. But I'd like 1-2 girls to be friends with as well....
Oh... @Sei35. =)
 

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ENFPs. But, um, they . . . well, never mind. It's better if you learn for yourself.
Whatever do you mean? You'd probably say I don't want to hear it...
Or, better, your vows of silence... =)
 

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I unfortunately or fortunately don't relate to people on the basis of gender--people are just, like, people--so I honestly can't really address genderly things.
This!!!
 

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@Alesha why did you mention me, I'm only half-INFJ and half-man...

The INFJ guys I met on here weren't into dating. At least they made me feel friendzoned, like I'm just another guy.
I suppose INFJs need to be courted, throw all your romantic stuff at us, don't be shy.
I've had terrible relationships overall because I'm always the one who pursues and provides sweetness and emotional support.
Remind me again not to date a Thinker, it's exhausting.
 

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@Alesha why did you mention me, I'm only half-INFJ and half-man...

The INFJ guys I met on here weren't into dating. At least they made me feel friendzoned, like I'm just another guy.
I suppose INFJs need to be courted, throw all your romantic stuff at us, don't be shy.
I've had terrible relationships overall because I'm always the one who pursues and provides sweetness and emotional support.
Remind me again not to date a Thinker, it's exhausting.
Friendzoned? Oh my. But I think INFJ guys in general makes everyone feel like friends. Until one day they decide to make a move, but then it might be too late by then.
 

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Typical of me to apparently gel so well with a male INFJ i.e a wild fucking unicorn

Where are you all hiding? You certainly are not wherever I am...
Look behind you, but just know that we're always just right behind you. If you were to ever look one of us in the eyes, we cease to exist.


Friendzoned? Oh my. But I think INFJ guys in general makes everyone feel like friends. Until one day they decide to make a move, but then it might be too late by then.
You've no idea how real that struggle is for me. Not even joking. Maybe sorta crying inside about it, but not joking.
 

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Generally my relationships don't last long, I've been single for a long time now, and been trying not to even think about it. Casual relationships are definitely not for me, and so I bury myself in my work. I think that one of the worst factors for us and relationships, is that we get attached fairly quickly, or we realize quickly that we are becoming attached. We respond to that attachment in one of two ways, we either get freaked out and bug out, or we open up, in my experience opening up causes the other person to freak out and leave.

I have yet to find someone who finds me interesting enough to stick around, or rather, I have yet to find anyone willing to support my problems, and instead want me to support them.
 

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@clem I get friendzoned all the time by all genders. You have no idea how much it hurts.
Maybe I'm just not dating material.
 

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Look behind you, but just know that we're always just right behind you. If you were to ever look one of us in the eyes, we cease to exist.
I'll just spin around with my eyes closed, then. Nothing out of the ordinary. :mellow:
 
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@clem I get friendzoned all the time by all genders. You have no idea how much it hurts.
Maybe I'm just not dating material.
:(

Dating doesn't work for everyone - abstaining from it until you meet that right person is an admirable and, frankly, sane thing to do. Sometimes I think the continual exercise of "dating" just makes your own feelings more muddled and confused.

When that right person comes along, you will know instantly. It wouldn't even feel like "dating". Just keep being yourself and working on the things that matter to you.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Typical of me to apparently gel so well with a male INFJ i.e a wild fucking unicorn

Where are you all hiding? You certainly are not wherever I am...
I admit, there is an acute dearth of INFJ guys, but ENFPs seem to have INFJ-dar to an uncanny extent. One of my first jobs in a large gubmint agency, and this little ENFP girl locked eyes with me across a conference room where we were having a division meeting. A conference platform session with 200 people in attendance, and I turn and see a single girl looking at me and smiling. My sophomore year of college I find this cute girl is stalking me and asking people for my bio. It's been pretty constant. ENFP girls just have a great hunger for INFJ men...god bless them that someone does.
 

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You've no idea how real that struggle is for me. Not even joking. Maybe sorta crying inside about it, but not joking.
Sorry to hear of the pain that your struggles have brought you. I hope you can find the strength to carry on and succeed in your goals. My INFJ guy friends have trouble dealing with disappointment and rejection. It really bothers them and they replay the rejection over and over not letting go of it. I wonder if practice can improve the skill of enduring rejection. I got rejected so much so maybe I just got used to it. Now words like Friendzone seems not so bad to me anymore, but in the past it would emo trigger.
 
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