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I am an INFJ, an HSP, and my enneagram is 4 with a wing toward 5. All of these are often described as "very sensitive." So I am very, very, very sensitive, apparently! :laughing:

Is anyone else all three of these? What tips and tricks do you apply to manage your sensitivity and propensity to being overwhelmed? I want to better manage my life and ration my energy in a healthy way. :proud:
 

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I think I may also fit into these categories too, as far as I know. I am learning how to deal with the way my mind and emotions work! Here are a few things I have been thinking about - I don't know how relevant they will be to you. They are certainly not "official" ways to deal with these things!:

- if I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, it is OK to take a break! Sometimes that means actually lying down and letting myself take a short nap or read for a little while, even when there is a lot to do. Often, if you are stressed and overwhelmed, trying to plough through makes things take even longer than usual and you may just need re-energising! I now will even sometimes go to the bathroom and lock myself into a cubicle for 5 mins at work just to get some space by myself.

- it is also great to find things that calm you to do during the day, even if it is just for a few minutes - e.g. light a candle, drink your favourite tea, listen to a particular peace of music. This often helps me focus on something positive that I enjoy, which is particularly great if I have had/am having a difficult day.

- my job means that I could work all evening every evening, as well as weekends, when I get home. I have had to consciously set very firm boundaries to make sure I rest and have time to stop thinking about work and wind down. I won't work after 8:30pm, and no more than 2 nights a week. I will work for some of Saturday, but not Sunday. If it is a particularly hectic time, I will make sure the work for tomorrow is done if nothing else. This is hard for me as I like to be a week ahead, but if I don't put those boundaries in I have learned no-one will do it for me, and I become completely overwhelmed by work and lose any semblance of work-life balance!

- I find it VERY difficult to communicate feelings clearly, though I will SHOW them through irrational behaviour, which completely confuses most people. I am trying to work on this, particularly by explaining to people close to me what I need, or my opinion/preference, rather than expecting them to magically guess and then being sad/angry when they can't read my mind!

-I don't know whether you experience this too, but I often find - especially when I have been "stuffing" emotions or opinions - that sometimes I just completely blow up and say/do something completely out of character. I came across some questions to ask myself when I feel like this is going to happen (although sometimes it can be tricky to get out of the situation in time to ask them!):
1. What are the bare facts of the situation? (e.g. my friend is 15 mins late and hasn't contacted me yet)
2. What am I telling myself? (e.g. they don't care about me, they "always" do this, they are selfish...)
3. What's the fear/hurt? (e.g. I am not worth being on time for, I am not important...)
4. Is there something I can ask? (e.g. when they arrive: "Are you OK? Was there a problem getting here?" - not the best example as this could come across passive-aggressive!)
5. What is a realistic assessment of the situation, considering questions 1-4? (e.g. many things could have happened to prevent them from being on time and contacting me)
6. What is important here? (e.g. that I wait a reasonable amount of time and show concern for my friend when they arrive; that if necessary - they were just being slow, and frequently keep me waiting a long time - we have a conversation about how I would feel more honoured if they were on time so that they know how their tardiness makes me feel)

I'm not a parent, but this blog post I read was helpful in thinking about some practicals for HSPs in general (hopefully this will let me post): 15 Tips for the Highly Sensitive Parent - Megan Tietz :: SortaCrunchy

Hope that helps somewhat!
 

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I am an INFJ, an HSP, and my enneagram is 4 with a wing toward 5. All of these are often described as "very sensitive." So I am very, very, very sensitive, apparently! :laughing:
It is possible that you're HSP because you're INFJ and 4, but isn't it enough to talk only about one of them, then? Basically, what you're saying is "I'm INFJ, 4, and HSP, so I must be HSP!" Your conclusion is tautological and doesn't teach us anything. The fact that you're INFJ and 4 doesn't make you more HSP than any other HSP. You can't confuse the cause and the effect!

Anyway, sure, INFJ and 4 are especially sensitive, and so this combination is indeed a strong clue to say that you're HSP.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
It is possible that you're HSP because you're INFJ and 4, but isn't it enough to talk only about one of them, then? Basically, what you're saying is "I'm INFJ, 4, and HSP, so I must be HSP!" Your conclusion is tautological and doesn't teach us anything. The fact that you're INFJ and 4 doesn't make you more HSP than any other HSP. You can't confuse the cause and the effect!

Anyway, sure, INFJ and 4 are especially sensitive, and so this combination is indeed a strong clue to say that you're HSP.
You are definitely right, and I realize I didn't word the question the best way that I could. I don't think I am more sensitive than other HSPs, I just find it humorous that all of the personality labels I have mention that I am "sensitive." It was really just a joke to lead in to the question I was asking.

You're right, though, I shouldn't have started with that joke, because it came across as self-obsessed. Thanks for pointing that out! :)
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I think I may also fit into these categories too, as far as I know. I am learning how to deal with the way my mind and emotions work! Here are a few things I have been thinking about - I don't know how relevant they will be to you. They are certainly not "official" ways to deal with these things!:

- if I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, it is OK to take a break! Sometimes that means actually lying down and letting myself take a short nap or read for a little while, even when there is a lot to do. Often, if you are stressed and overwhelmed, trying to plough through makes things take even longer than usual and you may just need re-energising! I now will even sometimes go to the bathroom and lock myself into a cubicle for 5 mins at work just to get some space by myself.

- it is also great to find things that calm you to do during the day, even if it is just for a few minutes - e.g. light a candle, drink your favourite tea, listen to a particular peace of music. This often helps me focus on something positive that I enjoy, which is particularly great if I have had/am having a difficult day.

- my job means that I could work all evening every evening, as well as weekends, when I get home. I have had to consciously set very firm boundaries to make sure I rest and have time to stop thinking about work and wind down. I won't work after 8:30pm, and no more than 2 nights a week. I will work for some of Saturday, but not Sunday. If it is a particularly hectic time, I will make sure the work for tomorrow is done if nothing else. This is hard for me as I like to be a week ahead, but if I don't put those boundaries in I have learned no-one will do it for me, and I become completely overwhelmed by work and lose any semblance of work-life balance!

- I find it VERY difficult to communicate feelings clearly, though I will SHOW them through irrational behaviour, which completely confuses most people. I am trying to work on this, particularly by explaining to people close to me what I need, or my opinion/preference, rather than expecting them to magically guess and then being sad/angry when they can't read my mind!

-I don't know whether you experience this too, but I often find - especially when I have been "stuffing" emotions or opinions - that sometimes I just completely blow up and say/do something completely out of character. I came across some questions to ask myself when I feel like this is going to happen (although sometimes it can be tricky to get out of the situation in time to ask them!):
1. What are the bare facts of the situation? (e.g. my friend is 15 mins late and hasn't contacted me yet)
2. What am I telling myself? (e.g. they don't care about me, they "always" do this, they are selfish...)
3. What's the fear/hurt? (e.g. I am not worth being on time for, I am not important...)
4. Is there something I can ask? (e.g. when they arrive: "Are you OK? Was there a problem getting here?" - not the best example as this could come across passive-aggressive!)
5. What is a realistic assessment of the situation, considering questions 1-4? (e.g. many things could have happened to prevent them from being on time and contacting me)
6. What is important here? (e.g. that I wait a reasonable amount of time and show concern for my friend when they arrive; that if necessary - they were just being slow, and frequently keep me waiting a long time - we have a conversation about how I would feel more honoured if they were on time so that they know how their tardiness makes me feel)

Hope that helps somewhat!
This is so great! Thanks!
 

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Slightly off topic but last time I checked I was evenly 2, 4, and 9. Is this even possible? Need to take it again.

But yea, I'm pretty sensative myself... wish I was less..
 

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I actually really enjoy being sensitive. I love that little things like eating Rainbow Sherbet ice cream make my day, and I love being able to notice small changes in someone's mood. :) It is just that I get overwhelmed really easily, so when I am living really close with a bunch of other people, it gets a little rough. I'm trying to find the balance between making sure I take time to myself so I don't have a mental breakdown, and not selfishly hiding from my family and refusing their affection and love. :p
 

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INFJ, Type 9, and HS is also a triple threat, though slightly less so. >.<

The biggest thing I've been doing to handle my HS is forcing myself to do things that I usually cant do (falling asleep when I'm hungry instead of getting up to get something to eat, for example). If you're just in this mindset of "don't be so effing sensitive, its not that big of a deal", you can actually reduce sensitivity somewhat.
 

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INFJ, HSP and a 5w4 in the Enneagram with a tri-type of 514 so I can also be known for being rather sensitive though my coping mechanism would be to withdraw and consider where I am putting myself and what do I get myself into at times.
 

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^_^ I like the humorous reference...triple threat. tee hee :p
I also am INFJ, HSP, and enneagram 4 with a wing toward 5.
The way I try to manage my sensitivity is to remember to try not to get disappointment when people don't respond the way that I would like for them too. Also, I try to keep my sense of humor about things people say to me. I tend to be sensitive to people's vocal tones (sarcasm etc) and the way a person's voice sounds (harshness, high pitched etc), this is something I have difficulty getting past, but I try to stuff any negative reactions if I can, unless the person is genuinely being unnecessarily rude or disrespectful. That's all that I can think of at the moment, but if I think of anything else I'll be sure to add it.
 

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INFJ, Type 9, and HS is also a triple threat, though slightly less so. >.<

The biggest thing I've been doing to handle my HS is forcing myself to do things that I usually cant do (falling asleep when I'm hungry instead of getting up to get something to eat, for example). If you're just in this mindset of "don't be so effing sensitive, its not that big of a deal", you can actually reduce sensitivity somewhat.
That's true. I also try to remind myself that I am not the only person in the world, and I need to just get my stuff done instead of whining and moping. :)
 

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It is just that I get overwhelmed really easily, so when I am living really close with a bunch of other people, it gets a little rough. I'm trying to find the balance between making sure I take time to myself so I don't have a mental breakdown, and not selfishly hiding from my family and refusing their affection and love. :p
Yes, I identify with this! I haven't lived with my family in some time (different housemates for the past 7 years) - some of the people I've lived with I have found it easy to spend a lot of time with naturally (we were students, so that helped) and others I have struggled with. My natural reaction is to retreat - particularly on Friday evenings, which is my traditional 'cave' time! - but if I'm not careful, lots of other times too. My current housemates (an INTP and an ESTJ) are both really good at helping me to communicate better, and have been very patient with me! I would try and be as honest with your family as possible - make sure they know that you find things overwhelming and that's why you sometimes need time alone.

Yeah. Rambling. Sorry!
 

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INFJ, 4w5, HSP. yeah, triple threat of being a whiney sensitive baby
 

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Yes, I identify with this! I haven't lived with my family in some time (different housemates for the past 7 years) - some of the people I've lived with I have found it easy to spend a lot of time with naturally (we were students, so that helped) and others I have struggled with. My natural reaction is to retreat - particularly on Friday evenings, which is my traditional 'cave' time! - but if I'm not careful, lots of other times too. My current housemates (an INTP and an ESTJ) are both really good at helping me to communicate better, and have been very patient with me! I would try and be as honest with your family as possible - make sure they know that you find things overwhelming and that's why you sometimes need time alone.

Yeah. Rambling. Sorry!
Haha, don't worry about rambling! This was very helpful! I have communicated with them, and they are very understanding. I just find it hard to know where my limit is, or if I am making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. :/
 
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