I think I may also fit into these categories too, as far as I know. I am learning how to deal with the way my mind and emotions work! Here are a few things I have been thinking about - I don't know how relevant they will be to you. They are certainly not "official" ways to deal with these things!:
- if I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, it is OK to take a break! Sometimes that means actually lying down and letting myself take a short nap or read for a little while, even when there is a lot to do. Often, if you are stressed and overwhelmed, trying to plough through makes things take even longer than usual and you may just need re-energising! I now will even sometimes go to the bathroom and lock myself into a cubicle for 5 mins at work just to get some space by myself.
- it is also great to find things that calm you to do during the day, even if it is just for a few minutes - e.g. light a candle, drink your favourite tea, listen to a particular peace of music. This often helps me focus on something positive that I enjoy, which is particularly great if I have had/am having a difficult day.
- my job means that I could work all evening every evening, as well as weekends, when I get home. I have had to consciously set very firm boundaries to make sure I rest and have time to stop thinking about work and wind down. I won't work after 8:30pm, and no more than 2 nights a week. I will work for some of Saturday, but not Sunday. If it is a particularly hectic time, I will make sure the work for tomorrow is done if nothing else. This is hard for me as I like to be a week ahead, but if I don't put those boundaries in I have learned no-one will do it for me, and I become completely overwhelmed by work and lose any semblance of work-life balance!
- I find it VERY difficult to communicate feelings clearly, though I will SHOW them through irrational behaviour, which completely confuses most people. I am trying to work on this, particularly by explaining to people close to me what I need, or my opinion/preference, rather than expecting them to magically guess and then being sad/angry when they can't read my mind!
-I don't know whether you experience this too, but I often find - especially when I have been "stuffing" emotions or opinions - that sometimes I just completely blow up and say/do something completely out of character. I came across some questions to ask myself when I feel like this is going to happen (although sometimes it can be tricky to get out of the situation in time to ask them!):
1. What are the bare facts of the situation? (e.g. my friend is 15 mins late and hasn't contacted me yet)
2. What am I telling myself? (e.g. they don't care about me, they "always" do this, they are selfish...)
3. What's the fear/hurt? (e.g. I am not worth being on time for, I am not important...)
4. Is there something I can ask? (e.g. when they arrive: "Are you OK? Was there a problem getting here?" - not the best example as this could come across passive-aggressive!)
5. What is a realistic assessment of the situation, considering questions 1-4? (e.g. many things could have happened to prevent them from being on time and contacting me)
6. What is important here? (e.g. that I wait a reasonable amount of time and show concern for my friend when they arrive; that if necessary - they were just being slow, and frequently keep me waiting a long time - we have a conversation about how I would feel more honoured if they were on time so that they know how their tardiness makes me feel)
I'm not a parent, but this blog post I read was helpful in thinking about some practicals for HSPs in general (hopefully this will let me post):
15 Tips for the Highly Sensitive Parent - Megan Tietz :: SortaCrunchy
Hope that helps somewhat!
roud:
