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INFJ ideals and expectations

5937 Views 26 Replies 16 Participants Last post by  moonlight_echo
Hello Infj's.

There are many qualities about you that I admire and love. Right now I happen to be posting about one infj trait that confuses me, but don't think that I look down on you for it because we all have differing traits.

I've noticed that infj's have exceptionally high ideals when it comes to friendships and relationships of all kinds, including romantic relationships. As an infp, I would be lying if I said I don't have my own ideals, but what I've seen with infj's is that they truly expect others to live up to those ideals.

What I'm wondering is if the infj is ever aware of these expectations and ideals and how they affect their interactions. I've seen the good side and the bad side of this. The bad side led to me being declared "not good enough" in infj eyes. Is it something that changes as you mature, or is it always something you live out?
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Well I, personally, grew into this state of having high ideals and expectations. I went from INTP to INFP to INFJ...

Oh, I'm aware of them all right. And I'm also aware that the optimistic idealism buoys me up, and then disappointment in those ideals not being reached sends me down. There's a negative side effect for you! Seriously, it is difficult to make friends, when so many people shatter my ideals, and therefore become people I do not desire to associate with.

I don't intend to relax my standards, though; I'd rather have one or two friends who I feel really good around, than many who make me uncomfortable and sad. I hold myself to high standards. I deserve to be around people who do the same for themselves.
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