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INFJ ideals and expectations

5934 Views 26 Replies 16 Participants Last post by  moonlight_echo
Hello Infj's.

There are many qualities about you that I admire and love. Right now I happen to be posting about one infj trait that confuses me, but don't think that I look down on you for it because we all have differing traits.

I've noticed that infj's have exceptionally high ideals when it comes to friendships and relationships of all kinds, including romantic relationships. As an infp, I would be lying if I said I don't have my own ideals, but what I've seen with infj's is that they truly expect others to live up to those ideals.

What I'm wondering is if the infj is ever aware of these expectations and ideals and how they affect their interactions. I've seen the good side and the bad side of this. The bad side led to me being declared "not good enough" in infj eyes. Is it something that changes as you mature, or is it always something you live out?
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I used to, but it never really worked to my adavantage. It took personal growth and discovery to realize you can't expect someone to be someone they're not. Instead I've shifted the way i look at it because as an INFJ it's very important for me to have close relationships rather than a ton of acquantances. Instead when I do something deep and beautiful about a person I will easily open myself up to them to be close. If that doesnt happen I just let it be, I'm sure I come off as boring, quiet, not interested. but idc, thats their opinion and thats who they are, it doesnt fit in with who i am so I'm just gonna let it go. Even those i am closest with I do not expect things with because I find it a blessing just to have them around and have connected with them, I don't wanna do anything that could possibly ruin it. But it's taken alot of thinking and mulling things over and going through shitty situations to come to this realization, because when I was a teenger, i was terrible about it and it resulted in me not having any real friends in high school and alot of ppl not being too fond of me. I do think it's one of our biggest faults, overcoming it is maturing, and as I once read on this forum and never forgot, Maturity for an INFJ is being less reserved.
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