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I see many (way too many) threads on this forum about INFJ-INTP relationships, and few about INFJ-INFP relationships. This is odd to me, because for some reason or the other INFPs have always been more attractive to me when it comes to romantic relationships than other types. I can be friends with INTPs but the romantic spark is generally not there.

FWIW, I'm an E4 and all the INFPs I've been attracted to are typical E9s. This is Enneagram territory ofc. They say E4-E9 relationships are common. I don't know how my relationship dynamics would be with INFPs who fall somewhere else on the Enneagram.

How do you feel about friendships and/or romantic relationships with INFPs?
 

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I see many (way too many) threads on this forum about INFJ-INTP relationships, and few about INFJ-INFP relationships. This is odd to me, because for some reason or the other INFPs have always been more attractive to me when it comes to romantic relationships than other types. I can be friends with INTPs but the romantic spark is generally not there.

FWIW, I'm an E4 and all the INFPs I've been attracted to are typical E9s. This is Enneagram territory ofc. They say E4-E9 relationships are common. I don't know how my relationship dynamics would be with INFPs who fall somewhere else on the Enneagram.

How do you feel about friendships and/or romantic relationships with INFPs?

I adore INFPs. One of the only people I talk to nearly every day is an INFP and I love her to pieces. I've not met a male INFP irl before, but I really enjoy the ones on here. In regards to attraction, that falls with NT's for me.

Interesting about the enneagram, I'm E9 (927sx) and of all the enneagram types I think I tend to struggle with understanding 4s the most.
 

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I adore INFPs. One of the only people I talk to nearly every day is an INFP and I love her to pieces. I've not met a male INFP irl before, but I really enjoy the ones on here. In regards to attraction, that falls with NT's for me.

Interesting about the enneagram, I'm E9 (927sx) and of all the enneagram types I think I tend to struggle with understanding 4s the most.
I think we 4s struggle with understanding ourselves lol. I know I do. So it makes sense that other people struggle with understanding us.
What do you think makes it hard for you to understand 4s in particular?

I've clashed with some 9s in the past (9s who I tried to get closer to), but I seem to keep attracting them into my life almost automatically.
 

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I think we 4s struggle with understanding ourselves lol. I know I do. So it makes sense that other people struggle with understanding us.
What do you think makes it hard for you to understand 4s in particular?

I've clashed with some 9s in the past (9s who I tried to get closer to), but I seem to keep attracting them into my life almost automatically.
Hi @Aiwass:)

Well my experience with 4’s is limited, so please correct me if I’m way off mark. I think where I struggle is I’m generally a pretty optimistic person & 4’s can come off as slightly pessimistic to me. Emotional & dramatic? But to counter that, I’d say as a 927 I have an unhealthy relationship with what I’d consider “negative” emotions (anger, sadness, etc). I (often, not always) feel guilt when I have them. They rarely feel justified to me, esp when they involve other people because I can see & am so focused on their POV. I view myself as being unreasonable when I have them. So I’d assume my issues/lack of understanding 4’s falls here. Maybe because what could be their strength (allowing themselves to completely “feel” these emotions) is my weakness. One of the many reasons I adore my INFP friend- she encourages me to be ok feeling mad/sad etc, and that is invaluable to me.

Am I way off about 4’s from your POV? I welcome your perspective on the topic!
 

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Hi @Aiwass:)

Well my experience with 4’s is limited, so please correct me if I’m way off mark. I think where I struggle is I’m generally a pretty optimistic person & 4’s can come off as slightly pessimistic to me. Emotional & dramatic? But to counter that, I’d say as a 927 I have an unhealthy relationship with what I’d consider “negative” emotions (anger, sadness, etc). I (often, not always) feel guilt when I have them. They rarely feel justified to me, esp when they involve other people because I can see & am so focused on their POV. I view myself as being unreasonable when I have them. So I’d assume my issues/lack of understanding 4’s falls here. Maybe because what could be their strength (allowing themselves to completely “feel” these emotions) is my weakness. One of the many reasons I adore my INFP friend- she encourages me to be ok feeling mad/sad etc, and that is invaluable to me.

Am I way off about 4’s from your POV? I welcome your perspective on the topic!
I think you are right, 4s can become pessimistic quickly and 4s do have a complex relationship with their emotions (and these emotions are not always "good" and "light"). When I was younger, I used to "push" the people in my life who I saw as too unreactive and neutral to be more intense and demonstrative with feelings (even negative feelings). Being pushy never did anything good to me, so I grew out of it and nowadays I am way more mature when it comes to others' boundaries.

Is your INFP friend a 4?
 

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When I was younger, I used to "push" the people in my life who I saw as too unreactive and neutral to be more intense and demonstrative with feelings (even negative feelings).
Interesting! I haven't heard of this before, I wonder if it's common with 4s?

Being pushy never did anything good to me, so I grew out of it and nowadays I am way more mature when it comes to others' boundaries.

Is your INFP friend a 4?
She tested as a 9 too, but she said she kind of whipped through the test. I could see her as a 9. She's not too demonstrative of her feelings, she's kind of cool as a cucumber. Except when she's grumpy. She definitely does not hide that baha :)
 
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