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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been reading threads on this forum for going on 6 years now.. and one of the things I'm never surprised by is when someone posts an ENFP/INxJ topic on here..

Honestly, even if the thread doesn't mention it (which is rare-), I pretty much automatically assume one or other party are attracted to the other, probably both. What I often see is "do they like me" threads where I already know that if it's about ENFP/INxJ, that it's very likely- and the contents of the thread only confirm it.

Really, do you think it's just a guarantee- particularly INTJ for ENFP female, INFJ for ENFP male.. That as long as we're physically attractive enough to each other that we will fancy each other? That is the impression I get. I mean, we are rare enough a combo that it will only occur once every couple of years or more.

Honestly, in my own life, I always seem to feel at least a slight degree of attraction toward INFJs if they are even vaguely my physical type. Like, I'm much more likely to judge an INFP on looks, even though I've dated more INFPs than anyone else. However, once I feel that magnetic personality pull that feels so comfortable and healthy, it's so damn powerful.

Thoughts?
 

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Yeah, I've found myself magnetically attracted to certain personality types - usually INTJs and INFPs. I did know an INFJ guy offline who showed romantic interest, but sadly I had no physical attraction to him at all. Thankfully he has found another ENFP girl and they seem really happy together!

I haven't met any INFJ guys offline who I'm compatible with, although I did almost end up in a long-distance relationship with an INFJ guy I met online. I actually find myself drawn to all the INxx types, including INTPs.
 

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I agree too, there is definitely this strange, unexplainable pull that I feel towards INXJ types. But, on the other hand, I think that when it comes to love, personality and all other forms of boxed tests and comparability research is just thrown away in to the gutter by the heart; this is the true beauty of love. It can't be explained or boxed or understood, it just is. I think that the initial attraction exists, everyone has this "ideal" personality that appeals for them (For me, these days, It's specifically INTP's and ENTJ's) but there's no doubt that evidence shows and suggests the INxJ x ENFP pairing is pretty much ideal. That said, love always manages to pleasantly surprise you and you might find yourself falling for every INFJ or INTJ you meet but then, miraculously, end up marrying an ESTP or an ISTJ because the were "the one" :)
 
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Well, I know that I automatically get attracted to INTJ and INFJ types, but at the same time, as mentioned by others, I also get attracted to INFP and INTP types. The funny thing is that I'm currently entering a relationship in a week with an ENFP...not sure how it's going to work out considering we're the same type, but it'll be quite the adventure I'm actually pretty excited for. :)
I've been severely attracted to INFJ and INTJ types, though. I always like to keep them as friends if anything...just don't have any compatible ones living right next door to me right now...they're all in different countries right now actually. XD (The Middle East, Haiti, and Taiwan) This is what happens when you live on a super international missions base with YWAM. =/

The INFJ in the Middle East will be back in the USA in 2 years
The INFJ in Haiti is Norwegian, so he'll be returning to Norway after heading back to Kona, Hawaii
The INTJ in Taiwan is intending to go to a language school in Japan next, and eventually become a mangaka; besides that, things are totally platonic between us...for spiritual reasons, if you can believe it.
 
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For me, nope.
Sure, I like them. They tend to be interesting folk, and I do like talking to them. However, attraction as guaranteed or automatic? Nope.
Maybe it's because I worked with so many IxTJ over the years, I've meet all sorts. Some I liked, some I thought were total tossers.
And yes, the area I work in is full of 'em (and other sorts, too). Perhaps its given me some sort of immunity.

But nope, no inevitable attraction here.

Mind you, my closest two friends are INFJs - but that's not attraction. :)
 

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With INTJs I feel that strong sense of attraction in every inch of my body. It's very exhilarating, and super exciting! Unfortunately, I met very, very few of them in real life. INFJs on the other hand, because they're supposed the rarest type, I like to believe that I have met all INFJs in the world. Most of my friends, and acquaintances are INFJs, and I haven't been attracted to a single one of them!
 

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From the opposite end, I definitely get that with ENFP guys. Pretty much every guy I've ever liked was ENFP, or at least ENxP-- it's hard not to like 'em! I can't really explain it; I think INFJs just like the sweet, playful demeanor you guys seem to have c:
 

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I knew carrying an electromagnet on me at all times would pay off eventually.
 

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With INTJs I feel that strong sense of attraction in every inch of my body. It's very exhilarating, and super exciting! Unfortunately, I met very, very few of them in real life. INFJs on the other hand, because they're supposed the rarest type, I like to believe that I have met all INFJs in the world. Most of my friends, and acquaintances are INFJs, and I haven't been attracted to a single one of them!
Have you been in a relationship with INTJ? Attraction doesn't mean happy ending . Just saying ....
Cheers.
-Ob.
 

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From the opposite end, I definitely get that with ENFP guys. Pretty much every guy I've ever liked was ENFP, or at least ENxP-- it's hard not to like 'em! I can't really explain it; I think INFJs just like the sweet, playful demeanor you guys seem to have c:
I second that. I am a big fan of XNFPs , with E version having an extra edge over the Is. That said, i think it can work with either.
-Ob.
 
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ENFP are magnets for me! There's something about the warm/enthusiastic nature of ENFP that makes me feel comfortable with them.
 

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I wouldn't say guarantee, but it does help.

It can balance out nicely, but with an extreme introvert and an extreme extrovert together, both can be easily annoyed by the others' behavior. But if you're open about things and find a good middle ground, it'll go great.
 

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ENFP are magnets for me! There's something about the warm/enthusiastic nature of ENFP that makes me feel comfortable with them.
They make me laugh. That's something that doesn't happen too often with other types but with them i cannot stop!
So, it is priceless .
-Ob.
 
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I have yet to meet an ENFP I'm attracted to. Most people I've been surrounded by (like, at school or something) have rarely been intuitives, in fact, so it sucks because I've always felt rather misunderstood by everyone.

However, I do have this one ENFP guy friend I've known since we were little, and while I am not in any way attracted to him in that way, I find that we get along extremely well. We're able to talk about deep yet otherworldly topics and we respect each other's differences in personality--such as my tendency to be quiet because I dislike most people and his ability to strike up spontaneous conversations with literally anyone--at the same time.
 

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I love you guys. plain and simple <3
 

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INTJ female here. No never been attracted to an ENFP, and actually I don't think I've ever met one IRL either. I probably have but didn't know what I was looking at. So no, no magnetic attraction for me there. I have no idea what my ideal match might be but I don't feel this magic you guys are talking about.
 

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I'm always a bit surprised to hear you rave about INFJs, @Tridentus. :happy: My hunch is that they get along better with a certain Enneatype of ENFP. To me, they've always become grating eventually because of their need to impress people in some way, or rather, their need to emotionally influence others, which you don't usually see as blatantly with INTJs and ISTPs, who have more of a contained self-confidence. Fe is likely more tolerable to people who grew up around Fe users. None of my immediate family members were Fe users, so it still feels a little overwhelming coming from others at times!

Also, gender dynamics could play a role. Infj qualities are a bit "feminine" in flavor, so perhaps it ENFP male-INFJ female is more common, although there seem to be plenty of ENFP females 'round these parts who like INFJs.

INFJs make great friends for me, but the romantic spark usually dies quickly. However, maturity level might have played a big role in that. Still hoping to meet an INFJs who shares my values. There sort of connection can help you to work through many emotionally taxing parts of the relationship more easily.
 

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Also, gender dynamics could play a role. Infj qualities are a bit "feminine" in flavor
Correct ! I tend to end up with infps / isfjs most of the time, enfps too (I think one of my ex was)
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 · (Edited)
@shedreamt

Yeah the combination is more likely with female INFJs for sure.

I'm actually surprised you mentioned immaturity- my experience has been the opposite where they've been the mature ones, and their influence spreads to everyone around them. It's the biggest reason I like them so much- they can have this influence on me which makes me inspired to be a more grounded person. As an ENFP I feel like without INFJ experiences, I wouldn't have the level of validation for my "good side" that I do inside. Like, I remember being patient and empathetic as a kid, but it wasn't until I met my INFJ ex as a teen that it really clicked with me the actual full power value of those attributes, and what they can do for yourself let alone the people around you. You're right though, it's obviously going to be to do with individuals as well though- I always get along with INFJs, but there is a factor of chemistry too.

You're right, I don't really mind Fe, or at least Fe when it aligns with my own values and is well developed- and actually kind of respect it. I think in a very Te perspective kind of way, I see Fe as a great thing for bringing people together and maintaining group dynamics, so I think I'm most impressed by how "efficient" it can be rather than anything else.. Although again, it does depend on the person, and I can equally remember times it annoyed the hell out of me.
 
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