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Hi all,

Can anyone share the pros and cons of this kind of pairing, for a romantic relationship?

I'm a female INFJ. Both of us had mistyped him wrongly as an INFP when he was caught in the highs of our initial relationship. Even though his first result he got was INTP, he was convinced he was more INFP. And so was I. But fast foward 8 months later. It's getting extremely clear he is INTP. In fact, there is no doubt about it, for him and for myself.

Is there any female INFJ who is and has been in a relationship with an male INTP? Would really appreciate any feedback and thoughts about it.

Thanks!
 

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Why yes! I'm a female INFJ and I've been dating a male INTP for almost 8 years, no breaks no b.s. I think this is one of the best and most balanced pairings that you can have. He's there to balance me out when my Fe is out of control, and I'm there to comfort him when he needs that nurturing that only an INFJ can give. I keep him organized, he helps me to be a little less uptight and more flexible. And since we've both got the N function, we tend to be like-minded on almost everything. The only drawback is that as an INFJ I often expect an emotional response from him (say if I did something stupid and just wanted someone to tell me that it was ok), only to be disappointed when I'm given a logical explanation. And he can be messy. But I really like cleaning and helping him out so it works. So if you're in a relationship with this INTP fellow I say more power to you and get ready for a very happy and fulfilling relationship!
 

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Im a male INFJ in a relationship with a female INTP, i can only describe it as the very best and worst of times (mainly the bad is due to the long distance and her disdain for the city and the people in the city that she lives in)

Amazing relationship when we're together, and definately the only type that has ever really caught my eye so powerfully ^^
 

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*bump*

No other examples? C'monnnn lol
 
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*raises hand*

My boyfriend is an INFJ. But the dynamics might be a little different though.
OOOHHH yay at least your INTP/INFJ relationship is still going ^^
 
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Hi all,

Can anyone share the pros and cons of this kind of pairing, for a romantic relationship?

I'm a female INFJ. Both of us had mistyped him wrongly as an INFP when he was caught in the highs of our initial relationship. Even though his first result he got was INTP, he was convinced he was more INFP. And so was I. But fast foward 8 months later. It's getting extremely clear he is INTP. In fact, there is no doubt about it, for him and for myself.

Is there any female INFJ who is and has been in a relationship with an male INTP? Would really appreciate any feedback and thoughts about it.

Thanks!
My feedback is that ... well, my feedback would be too cruel to post without knowing your age first.

But I'll put it this way, one of the worst possible match-ups for the INFJ is the ISTJ. My mother is an INFJ married to an ISTJ. They've divorced and split-up so many times I can't even count. They're a terrible match, but in the end, they make it work... somehow.

So anything is possible, if your pain tolerance is high.

PS - But hey, if other people have personal examples that have worked for them, it might actually be a good match. They just drive me batty because I like to argue, and their Ti and Si are very sharp and difficult to argue with. It's not that I'm wrong, it's that I am unable to remember all the facts necessary to convince them of what I already know.
 

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I'm a big INTP-fan. Unless my father, best friend, and mom's boyfriend are all the exceptions that prove the rule, INTPs are definitely one of my favorite types.

I've been living over here on the west coast with my girlfriend... and the thing I miss the most about the company of INTPs, is that I no longer have any friends to descend upon ideas with our Ti like a pack of vicious wolves, ready to disembowel anything other than Cogito ergo sum :laughing:

*raises hand*

My boyfriend is an INFJ. But the dynamics might be a little different though.
Glad to hear it's still going strong, Dark. :proud:
 

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@Razare

She said INTP, not ISTJ. :mellow:

And we have Ti/Ne as our main functions (Si is the tertiary). ISTJs have Si/Te.
I know what she said and I don't like INTP's, and would consider one a bad match (that's why I pulled out a bad match example.) But I think the reason they're a bad match for me is because I have a strong Ti that butts out my Fe. I had an INTP roommate in college and our Ti's would clash; and he'd force me to do internet research so I could have facts to back up my statements since I don't have handy-dandy Si to remember things with razor sharp precision.

And back when I thought I was an INTP, I would hang on their forums and have all manner of arguments that I would lose. They're open-minded people at least. :p
 

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My younger brother (by one and a half years) is an INTP.

We're pretty close compared to most siblings, mostly because of strong communication between us.

He does tend to be a bit "soulless" sometimes but that's because he's a VERY HIGH T... I always joke saying that he clubbed his Fe to death with a board with nails on it.

His personal space thing can be a bit too much at times and he's one cocky felle but my experiences with him are better compared to the comment above mine :tongue:
 

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I don't quite understand the INTP feeling, or lack of? LOL I mean, maybe it's just me... but I guess I don't quite know when an INTP likes you as it never seems obvious. I find myself complimenting the INTP regularly for the things that I enjoy, but I rarely receive a kind word or know how they feel other than that they enjoy a good conversation with me. Then again, I enjoy a good conversation with ANYBODY but it doesn't mean I like them romantically.

That's the hardest thing for me to decipher -_-;
 

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I don't quite understand the INTP feeling, or lack of? LOL I mean, maybe it's just me... but I guess I don't quite know when an INTP likes you as it never seems obvious. I find myself complimenting the INTP regularly for the things that I enjoy, but I rarely receive a kind word or know how they feel other than that they enjoy a good conversation with me. Then again, I enjoy a good conversation with ANYBODY but it doesn't mean I like them romantically.

That's the hardest thing for me to decipher -_-;
I was a little confused at first by this..
But the more something is understated, the more it's downplayed, look and listen closely, you'll see/hear it , they can't look you in the eye,their voice drops an octave and a few decibels.. They are a mess of emotion at this point.

Gently guide them to their feelings..(Or maybe jump their bones at this point) My INTP is so gooey.. (But don't let her know I said that, she'll kill me
)
You just kinda have to focus on what's not being said.They seem to be people of action more than verbal expression, but the sentiment and warmth is there, if you just readjust where you normally look for it.
 

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most thorough rundown of infj - intp relationships out there. Trust me, I have searched. Anyone who has something else to say, please write your own experience. Lets build a wealth of information.

INTPs. Run. She's posing as a houseplant. INFJ=siren to INTP

Seriously INTP brothers, I have had multiple intense relationships with different age/ and background INFJ's and inspite of the age gap/ different backgrounds , the very same basic problems always cause the demise.

INTPs are immediately attracted to the intelligence, the challenge to break down barriers of dishonesty, and the mystery of the INFJ. At first glance they will have a seemingly similar philosophy and intellectualism that will draw you in. The INFJ, likewise, will be attracted by your honesty and logic.... at first. They, always feeling alone and strange in the world will be relieved to have found someone just as odd, alien and intelligent.

It all goes sour after awhile because the core parts of both are absolutely missing in each other, and both misrepresent themselves, despite the intentions.

The INTP immediately is drawn to the responsibility in the J, and assumes that brings the same logical backbone. It doesn't. The Infj is immediately attracted to the honesty, and assumes they can tolerate the philosophical debates. They cannot.

See. It's simple. INFJs are perfect on the surface, and they will do anything to keep that appearance, including even if they feel necessary : lying, cheating, manipulating, withholding and "doorslamming." They would rather not do these things, but are rather Machiavellian when push comes to shove. They never ever fully open up to anyone else, are masters of keeping people at arms length, finding scapegoats, and avoiding the unpleasant like an ostrich with its head in the sand.

INTPS live for truth, no matter how ugly, and will stop at nothing to see its day in the sun. We always seek more knowledge, and leave the book open, simply adding new information without judgement (we see that as premature.)

INFJ's live for nobility (which they see as a function of their physical labor, and social esteem.) They are deeply offended by any critical opinion of their behavior, as they do NOT delay judgment, and count every action into their ongoing judgement. If you did great things for 30 years, and spent the last year being an asshole and died, sorry. In their books you would be written off. They are very immediate based, always wondering "what will serve my goals best here and now," and see the present as time to be spent achieving their goals, which are NOT the goals of an INTP.

Their real goals ( albeit to their ALL distant friends they prefer to appear charitable, pious, and intelligent) are simply to gather trophies;
Degrees, certs, paychecks, public recognition, vegan, marathons, volunteer work, dinner parties. Their id function is to be admired by others. In the end, they will do anything to uphold this supreme virtue, even discard everyone who knows them well enough to know their flaws and hypocrisy, no matter "love." For this reason many INFJs will speak of "chosen family"

The INTP senses this tepidity at first. But he writes it off, as you probably will this, being a real scientist and not wanting to be biased.

But heed my warning of the Siren.

The end is the opposite of the beginning, and it comes with no warning, recourse, or comfort. The INFJ will not put their heart into the conversations designed to repair, nor will they include you WHATSOEVER in their thinking process of ending it. They will play along, extracting themselves the same way they dole it out in the beginning, make a plan, and start moving on while still together, without telling you. They are weaning themselves, sneaky at it all, for by the time the break up comes you will find they are surprisingly cool, and you will be amazingly shocked.

All those prebreakup conversations you had, filled with soul searching and promises will ring in your ears, but they will not listen. INFJs are FAMOUS for doing this, and then RUNNING away.
Meaning they will tell you not to even contact them ( "need space"), when you are devastated and recoiling for answers.
Best advice, don't look for them. Truth is, if you are being dumped by an INFJ
THEY ALREADY DECIDED TO DUMP YOU WEEKS AGO,
and have purposely strung you along long enough to gather their strength (friend advice), and plan/ start a new life.

Usually the INTP gets dumped instead of dumping due to the fact that he keeps everything open ended, so even though he will see the problems (but be unable to deal with all the obvious INFJ ostrich lies, and with their inability to rationally and calmly examine anything controversial), you will not dump the INFJ. You can see the potential for change forever. You keep researching and trying to change yourself, sure that you can superhero like fix it.

The INFJ is not so.
Everything is judged immediately, privately, and not based on any higher principle such as truth...

it is based on =f(what will achieve my goal to be admired) always.
always.
always. They will even lie to themselves, discard their whole family, spend their whole lives alone, anything, EVERYTHING.... They constantly judge, and feel judged and the second you try to help them IT IS ALL OVER. trust that.
(same for if you decide to just let them help you. you have not outsmarted fate. instead, you will become a pet project, and like everything in their lives, and without doubt, you will not match up to their cold perfectionism and myopic standards. Furthermore, if the project is in anyway at all personally attached to a trophy or in their sanctum of no mans land , they will secretively lose respect for you, for causing them discomfort and for having asked for help, as they ask NOONE for help, and think you must be less than them for doing so.)

Run. Run. Run. The first month will be heaven. Go ahead. Have it, but whatever you do... DO NOT LET THEM DUMP YOU. It will take twice as long to get over, as you will be left figuring out what the hell happened, by yourself, and they will be too busy trying to forget you (no matter how close you were) to care to reveal anything about it, or themselves to you EVER AGAIN.

It's all old news to them, as they dumped you 2 weeks ago, privately (some even have secret ceremonials involving rocks, oceans, or fire.)

Oh and thinking you'll win them back in true Hollywood form? Ha! NO CHANCE!
Truth is, they all think any attempts to earn them back are PATHETIC.
Remember, what do they covet?
The covet esteem, and anyone who would seek their advice or beg them is immediately cast aside as inferior. Because they are judgement perfectionists, who are caught up on public opinion, they will never see the valor in repentance, or the Disney charm in make ups. They see grovelling, and they will, at best, enjoy the stroke to the ego and continue doorslam, as that is now the obvious choice of the nobel. They will never admit to wrongs or feel culpable, so don't even bother. Every minute spent entreating otherwise is a damned waste, and shame to the shreds of dignity left.
If they were capable of the kind of honest introspection, required by true (public) repentance or forgiveness, you wouldn't be this lamentable fate in the first place.

Just as the INTP feels the sigh of relief and gratitude when the relationship is deep enough to finally be/ discuss/ confess/ debate the personal details ( glory days for the INTP) in truth, your INFJ is HATING LIFE.
yes, when our favorite part begins is when their least favorite part begins. INFJs have good ideas in the abstract because they ARE ARTISTS of the generic and the abstract, practicing a lifetime of saying just the thing to gain as many admirers as possible. They have been living up to a facade, so well, for so long that they rarely even know themselves, or even when they are lying anymore.

INTPs feel issues are solved by delving in, investigating, discussing, researching, understanding, and the humility and courage (honorable) to change and adapt.

INFJs feel issues are solved independently, privately, by weighing sums and averages, stealthy disengaging, redirecting, further defining (never redefining), abandoning, and redirecting. Which is pretty disgusting to any real blooded INTP.

If you weren't an INTP whos covets TRUTH above all else, you could keep any INFJ will these secrets.
Simply start dating as normal.
Get past infj "onion" layers, walls, annoying doling out of appearances by remaining patient and aloof.
Watch verbal com at first. They will judge you by the ratio of effort put into contact you/them. If you start off very unequal, it will NEVER be changed. If you put in less than them, they will never open up. Always put in just slightly more effort into communication.
Find out what they like. This will be obvious, as they feel it defines them and will brag about it. This is the key.

The infj will not respect you if you ask questions about their hobbies/ ideas. The mentor/ teacher role is one-dimensional with them. They will also not respect you (after an initial curiosity) if you debate their "trophies" with them. No matter how right you are, they will simply grow to dismiss you if you challenge any of their trophies. They will not understand, and will just think you are an asshole.

Their favorite trophies of all time are those that require extreme self denial, self discipline, intellectualism, piety, and charity. This means their degree, their job, their house, their friends, their public charity projects. Even if you find out that their alma mater is abducting and slaughtering East African babies, and you think since they (have the same good heart as you , lol) seem to care about people (since they are so very sensitive) .....that they would prefer you told them about the babies... they DONT. DO NOT TELL THEM.

The only way to tell an INFJ ANYTHING new and personal is to provide a link, or a respected article with NO OPINION of YOUR OWN IMPLIED, somewhere they will STUMBLE across it. Then never mention it, and pray they read it. If they did read it, and it changed their views AT ALL, they will be completely embarrassed and do a little extra research in secret. They will try to find more popular opinion, sources, and will ask one of the older esteemed and respected, and trusted in their circle. If this doesn't give them the comfort of agreement (what they really seek), they will finally consider changing their opinion.

Before they can do that, they invariably will seek and locate a plausible skapegoat, in order to maintain the perfection image, it is necessary. Being so judgmental in every moment, they cannot make mistakes, no matter how temporal without feeling like bad-inferior people. This is the root of their evil. All soul searching, personal growth, real insight is sacrificed to the identity they build around superiority/inferiority in social constructs, and perfection/ external validation requisites.

Ignore my advice, INTP, and a million times over you will wish to God or whathaveyou, that your INFJ could for once, put their petty pride aside just long enough to reap even a little benefit of truth. Indeed, they will trust you more than anyone oneelse (for the moment), but they will never fully trust you, never fully let you in, never fully break down/ confess/ lament/ confide. They will never know the sweet communion an INTP feels in his soul, when he can finally be completely transparent. Their sad fate is due to the fact that they feel they have to, day by day, earn their worth... Like they wake up worthless, and only with enough trophies by the end of the day, they will feel worthwhile. An INTP knows the false logic and foolishness inherent upon laying our identity in the hands and opinion of men and their earthy treasures. An INTP wakes up feeling the opposite, like he already is gold inside, destined for greatness with a little elbow grease and spit shine. The INTP is actually IMPRESSED when other people are downright self defacingly honest and humble. He admires the bravery and honesty. He thinks its what makes us connected as humans. The Infj never understands or appreciates this concept, whatsoever.

Back to the advice for dating: So instead of asking about the trophies, or trying to have philosophical discussions, do this instead:
1. find trophies
2. become a fellow fan/ expert in/ participant (PUBLIC) in trophies ex: veganism, rock climbing, movie, charity.... whatever
IN reality, the INFJ is interested in you because you are so gut wrenchingly honest that they see you as the least threatening person to open up to. They are masters at controlling relationships and manipulating behind the scenes, and while they admire your sense of "honor" (NOT integrity), they most appreciate you because they know they can keep one step ahead of you. Everyone else plays the same games they do, and that is why they keep all of them at arms bay. You will feel delighted and special, being one of the few, if any to be "allowed in." Don't get carried away into thinking you are both on the same page. The INFJ doesn't think you are, trust me. You will notice this time keeper, date counter, gate keeper presence constantly lingering around the edges of the INFJ no matter how deep you get. You will think you can coax him out of his shell into the promised land of enough self esteem to be honest.

WRONG. This is the beginning of the end. Attempts to cross the final mile will be met with severe recoil. Your first tears will now be shed. You will gently encourage, and be surprised by the backlash it causes. The INFJ will blame it on your insensitivity (rather than their unwillingness to deal with painful truths), and being it in the beginning, you will be blindsided and coax and soothe, in a dumbfounded attempt to repair the damage. Too late. INFJs never forget or forgive. They keep a running till and just keep adding. You can never make points up. The next time one of these topics rears its head, they will be slightly more withdrawn, and you will misunderstand that to mean they are actually LIstening!!!

They are not listening. Only withdrawing. But they won't tell you that, so you will keep on talking like a good old Fact Finder INTP, foolishly celebrating what is actually a departure. This will continue to snowball until you address it.

Here is where most people break up, or fix the problem... but NOT the infj and intp combo!!! no, we have our own special breed of hell waiting for two. See, the INTP and the INFP only really have THEORY, and SERVICE in common. INTPs like to come up with the theory, revise it, revise it, revise it and move on to something totally different without even caring if the theories practice really sees the light of day. We also have a sense of HONOR and feel compelled to SAVE things, especially other people who are more likely to put actions to our theories. We like grateful guinea pigs, but are too add/biased/busy to want to stick around to run the labs on ourselves. And we aren't holding all of our self esteem tied to confirming our hypothesis or denying them. That would be illogical. Mostly, we just want to give it a go, and see what happens. That is good enough, until the next round! We don't feel like failures to be wrong; we just feel one step closer to the right answer.

INfjs LOVE theory as well. INtuition. But they apply it completely differently. They use it only to VALIDATE OR NEGATE the hypothesis. They are privately evaluating, step by step, deciding whether or not to even have a second trial. They are very private in their real theories (because they're so judgmental and pessimistic), so if you are part of their experiment, consider it for what it really is to them: A TEST. that is a fact. experiment to intp = TEST to infj.

Now both partners will make sport of "helping eachother" or "fixing the relationship", both doing research independently and discussing a little together. At first the INFJ will be relieved to find such ready skapegoat excuses, but they will quickly be overshadowed by the lack of progress in "fixing things." The INTP ( naievely honest) will begin to examine his own shortcomings and profess to strive to change and accomodate. He will search things like "INTP INFJ relationship", and articles about communication, and try to figure out what he himself can change. NOT SO with the INFJ. After their intial skapegoat theory sinks, they will NOT be searching the same things. They will search simply "INTP fighting" or your astrology chart, or start making up diagnosis for you. They will be happy to do certain public things (bring your dinner, fold laundry), but they will NEVER ever attempt to change their personality for you. Instead, since you are more than willing to change, you will now be the skapegoat, and are now living on borrowed time.

Because, without the INFJ EVER being willing to change, or even look at the true root of the problems, they never have a chance at being fixed. And now that you are the one that "needs fixing" the INFJ secretly has lost all respect for you, and is now sticking with it just because they like the ego trip, and they don't want to tell their friends that paradise is over and they were wrong about you.

They solve that problem by fabricating, exaggerating, using a COSMO magazine and concocting a story about you. The decide you were too immature, to crazy, too old, too far away, too controlling... anything. After the novelty of controlling someone wears off, and they realize that you are just as incapable of the their perfectionist idealizations as they themselves are, and with that FACT, friend, they are NOW DONE.

By now, they really don't care what you say, since they have written you off, so they don't even argue. You will think that amazing light has broken through and things are finally working out, but its exactly the opposite. The whole time you are thinking this, they are planning the breakup, breaking it down into tasks, dates and stratagems.

First they will find the blameless (for THEM) reason to tell themselves, and peers you guys broke up (Your Fault). As Ironic is this is to an INTP, it usually involves them accusing you of deception, or control, despite however inaccurate or false, because since these are the only things that can ever explain the judgement error without making them look bad. The will have to make themselves look like they were defrauded by crafty nefarious swindler. Enter INTP.

Second, they will test the theory on the closest friend they have and "ask advice" of the 1 or 2 people they trust and ESTEEM. They really have already decided what to do, they are just practicing their cover story, and testing the waters. Friends will always take their side because none of them really know the truth, and that's just what friends do. Don't be surprised or hurt. You probably don't have many mutual friends anyway.

Third, they will, day by day stop doing things that you normally do together. Like picking up dinner for one, when you eat dinner together every night, not make coffee in the morning anymore, not text during lunch break, go to bed without you. At this point they are still pretending to be giving it a shot, but really they are just staying in it long enough to reestablish their old routines, old relationships, and old life to make their own transition smooth, while at the same time, waiting for the right time to break up with you.

Finally, the moment they have been waiting for! Perhaps most vicious of all, the INFJ waits like a black widow for the right time. It has now been at least 2 weeks since they decided you were hopeless and not good enough for them. The past two weeks have been deceptively good to the INTP who believes that the INFJ is finally listening, and that their personal changes and sacrifices (which they have been striving earnestly, and humbly for the sake of the relationship) are ACTUALLY working. Sadly, you are simply being ignored, and dismissed. The only reason why it is so sweet and peaceful is because the INFJ is on their best behaviour, working not on themselves, not for the relationship, but working diligently and very patiently to mastermind the exit.

The last week is spent with you simply waiting for the eventual error, disagreement, wrong word, the perfect (blameless) reason to dump you. Such a cruel fate for the INTP, so blindsided, and then to be led into believing himself was to responsible for the demise. This time the INFJ will fight with you, but they will immediately extricate themselves, and by the next morning your things will be sitting in a box outside your door. No matter how stunned or heartbroken, no truth will be given here. No comfort. No reason. Never. In reality, you have lost privy to that part of the INFJ forever, a long time ago. Here, only a few short words, the absolute minimum are offered, and somehow no matter how sparse, always sufficient to make clear that YOU ARE OFFICIALLY CUT FROM THEIR LIFE, AND no more contact is is welcome. Do not deceive yourself INTP. They only say nice things for appearances, things like "be friends later" and "just need space now" are all flat out LIES. look anywhere online. INFJs only "need space" because they want you outta sight outta mind, and it is a COLD COLD day in hell for an INFJ to ever ever ever change their mind about someone once made up, and especially not about a past lover. Even if in 5 years you became the dream person they always wanted, they would absolutely never embarrasses themselves to their ESTEEMED friends and mentors by taking ( you- whom they have already bemoaned to their fans) you back. Short of a brain transplant, I cant see any way they could excuse that, thus it is not happening.

So how to be with an INFJ? don't. truth is that they only know how to be a mentor or a mentee. If you are awesome and like them, they think something is wrong with you, If you are awesome and don't like them, they will want you until they get you, and then move on.

tl;dr INFJ= Siren to INTP... detour detour
this is the truth of the relationship, unfiltered, derived.
Let it once be spoken, and spoken again wherever the question is asked.
Oh Fates, What have you for my fortune?
It is this brothers. Let you not beseech us hence.
 

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Seems a little harsh :/ though the appearance-mongering can sorta happen with INFJs, which will drive INTPs absolutely insane (sometimes).
You also forgot the INTP problems, I would have loved to see your exaggeration of what evils an INTP can do in a relationship.
 

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INTP problems.
late. changes plans at drop of dime. waits till last minute like its going out of style. Likes hearing himself too much. Always serious. Has no tact. Messy. Forgetful. Longwinded. Terrible at keeping routines. Moves on to new tangents before the root is fully understood. Forgets bigger picture while arguing the details. Obnoxiously seemingly arrogant ( albeit untrue).

you're right. it does seem harsh, and undoubtedly has bias and DOES NOT SPEAK FOR EVERY INFJ ON THE PLANET. let me just spell that one out real fast before the banshees throw that one out like anyone would be moronic enough to think they could speak for all of anything on the planet.

I don't care if it is harsh. It's my opinion and experience, and I welcome any INFJ, in fact I am really interested to see if they can post something just as brutally honest about their opinion of anything, let alone INTP. I have already heard the insensitive comments, which don't offend me in the slightest. One thing that noone seems to understand about INTPs is that we have feelings, and are capable of being nice little happy hosts, entertainers and salesmen. I have been in sales throughtout my life, and everytime, without exception have been the record breaking number one sales person. ITS not because we CANT be tactful, polite or politically correct, IT IS A CHOICE, MADE to REFRAIN from deceiving my family and friends. Otherwise,WE'de be Not wise to call them so.
 

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My former love interest of close to three years was an INTP. We had the most intense, passionate connection, but he often failed to give me the warmth I needed in a romantic relationship. I can't call him my boyfriend, because he never was that, but he was more than any boyfriend I've ever had.

In some of the most intense moments where I opened up about something, he ended up making a joke (out of fear of intimacy) or saying something logical that contracted whatever emotion I was vulnerably revealing. This happened time and time and time and time again.

Each case in individual, and this is solely a brief bit on my own experience. ...Do I regret exploring the feeling of love with him? No. Am I haunted by it? Yes.
 

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addd said:
I don't care if it is harsh. It's my opinion and experience, and I welcome any INFJ, in fact I am really interested to see if they can post something just as brutally honest about their opinion of anything, let alone INTP.
I just want to say that every personality type can sound extremely psychotic if they are at a very unhealthy stage. I just feel sorry to hear from you having two unsuccessful unions with INFJs.

What is more, I felt you must have been really hurt to post something like this. All I can say is I hope you a speedy recovery on healing your emotional scars. That's all.
 

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You are kind, and I thank you for that. I sincerely appreciate it, although I know mentioning so makes INFJs wary of my cause. I hope to be healed as well. It has been too many months to suffer this. I have read and followed sagely advice, lifted by goodbye's up to the clouds and still... At times I'm struck with the same force felt the first day.
I don't know how it is possible to truly love, and dismiss thus so.
I fully am recognizant of the merits of terminating a mutually destructive relationship (as it was), and yet feel an insubordinate pang from my very core when I consider the oaths my heart made unrequested. I have not for one second in my life wished harm upon those who have since moved on while I suffer so... I simply, cannot understand. My heart breaks for ignorance. And a pray thee not suffer unto one more the cruel fate so oftenly employed.

In plain words dear INFJ (s): If only for one moment, give him the respect of your truth at the end. Say what you like, please do! Only say something, TRUE, and abashed. I see no harm in it, since he is fated of yester anyway.
 
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