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Hey Guys!

I'm an INFJ and i'm currently in a long term relationship with an ISFP guy. I wanted to get your input on the pros and cons of this type of pairing (Could be from personal experience or just what you think it would be like!)

Here's what i've found so far as an INFJ...


-He is both lazy and productive. He has a full time job and will always gives it his all, which has resulted in him going up in his career, but when he is home he can happily spend the whole evening napping and he prefers to stay home rather than go out. This is another snag in the relationship because while I definitely like my lazy moments with Netflix, books etc, I also like going out for the sake of it (seeing new sights). He's the same with holidays, but not so much in a day-to-day kinda way.

-He has his random moody moments and he will not open up or tell you what it wrong. He just goes quiet. I can't complain too much though because I tend to do the same. We're both working on it :kitteh:


- He's got a very laid back personality. Being an INFJ, we absorb other peoples emotions, so his nature brings me sense of calm.

- He's straightforward but kind. He'll tell you if he doesn't like something but in the best way possible; he's not rude or harsh (at least with me, lol. I've seen him in harsh mode with others if they are taking advantage of a situation).

- He can handle confrontation. This balances me out very well because I absolutely cannot handle it. I get nervous and mentally run away from the situation :blushed:

- Despite being introverted, he's very good with small talk and meeting people, but he only does it if he has to. He also knows how to think quickly on his feet. I can make small talk but struggle a little because I could easily end up saying something odd; so he helps a lot with this one.

- Even though he may not always understand it; he accepts me for all of my weirdness! :D (Thank my Ni for that one :p)

-Lastly, I wanted to mention the biggest pro of this relationship; he is incredibly loving. Underneath his smart, charismatic exterior is a kind, loving guy with the biggest heart i've ever seen. His love shows through his actions and I know that he would go to the end of the world to keep me safe and make me happy. I don't know if it's an INFJ thing but that kind of love helps you to become more confident and love yourself for all of you weaknesses :heart::heart:

· Registered
ISFP, 9w8 sp/sx, Ravenpuff
870 Posts
I wouldn't say it's an INFJ thing, just a human thing. Love helps us all. =)

It sounds like you've got a lovely significant other. For what it's worth my best friend is an INFJ (I'm an ISFP male, she's an INFJ female). We've been close friends for ten years now and lived together as roommates for five. Our relationship is definitively not romantic. But I think it's a good pairing for either friendship or relationship. One thing I've seriously enjoyed is the commitment to working things out when the rough patches hit. I've had so many friends that just cut and run the moment things get tough. Also the endless creative projects and even the fact that my roommate is the way you describe yourself as being more interested in going out for the sake of it. I may never do the planning myself but I do appreciate it when she drags me to concerts.

Anyways. Cons come from the places they typically come from: Shadow Te grates on the INFJs nerves when the ISFP is in an insecure place; sometimes the INFJ wants to be understood better than tertiary Ni can do and it can be worse when it's Ni-Fi instead of Ni-Fe; a few accidental ethics arguments; etc etc.

And pros? long list. Could write a lot about it. But loyalty and kindness is a hard combo to beat.
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