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I recently started dating an ENTP female, like yesterday recently. We went on one date Friday and it turned into the best 3 hours I’ve had in I don’t know when.

Conversation flowed and I normally don’t listen to other people’s advice (trust my intuition more than others) but with her I actually listened and took to heart some of her suggestions on the topics we discussed. That’s just scratching the surface.

I’ve been reading about ENTP/INFJ pairing and there’s a lot to read. I figured just ask, What are some things I should and shouldn’t do to make this work generally speaking?

I know you can’t account for how I am or she is as an individual outside of the whole MBTI but general suggestions or cautions is what I’m looking for.

Help an INFJ help an ENTP.
 

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I recently started dating an ENTP female, like yesterday recently. We went on one date Friday and it turned into the best 3 hours I’ve had in I don’t know when.

Conversation flowed and I normally don’t listen to other people’s advice (trust my intuition more than others) but with her I actually listened and took to heart some of her suggestions on the topics we discussed. That’s just scratching the surface.

I’ve been reading about ENTP/INFJ pairing and there’s a lot to read. I figured just ask, What are some things I should and shouldn’t do to make this work generally speaking?

I know you can’t account for how I am or she is as an individual outside of the whole MBTI but general suggestions or cautions is what I’m looking for.

Help an INFJ help an ENTP.
I think I can give some pointers for this for both sides. Although most of my pointers will be for the long-term considering there is not a lot of things for the short term.

Shortterm
- It tends to just connect or not. It'll fall on deep from now on. All you gotta do is talk & be yourself.

Longterm:
Avoid:

- Thinking we are the same:
It is quite easy to fall into the trap of thinking you can predict each other. I think this tends to happen because we draw a lot of the same conclusions. But the way we got them tends to be completely different. Never expect to know things. A lot of times things become difficult in relationships because we have put certain expectations on each other. Not up living breaks that expectation and brings us into questioning each other's actions and honesty. Which will bring us to the next topic.

- Fluid vs Solid
When things tend to go wrong there seems to be a big difference in reaction between P's and J's (not sure if I can put it on PvsJ). Either way INFJ's tend to have built themselves up from the inside. Meaning in stressful (more like emotional) situations they sort of become "more defined" where we tend to become more "Fluid/Open". When we put the expectation that the other person will do the same we can draw very wrong conclusions. We can become the see the INFJ is drowning in. While you are trying to find land, we are pouring water into the sea.

A bit more concrete: we become very openminded for all possibilities. INFJ's tend to become very closed minded and want concrete facts.

INFJ charakter about the ENTP is "broken":
Most of the times you are looking for emotional insurance of truthfulness. The pressure this puts us under tends to make us even question what we ate this morning. This can be avoided by the INFJ more clearly stating what they want or the ENTP more quickly realizing that you are not looking for facts but certainty in our actions/personality.

If we are "head-over" in. We tend to try to be as "truthfully" or "objective" possible. Which is exactly the opposite the INFJ is looking for because that makes them unable to judge our character or the meaning behind our actions. Meaning they can lose their trust. A lot of trust of the INFJ is beïng able to "predict" our important decisions. Which is really annoying because we tend to walk on the boundary of chaos.

Furthermore, we tend to "not talk" about it or always bring things up. After a while you might think you know us. But we tend to have very deep things hidden. If these things come up, even in "bad situations" (which is the moment this tends to come up because the moment you think something of our character does not add up, you become full-fledge detectives), keep in mind that we will always be as truthfully as possible. Meaning it will only increase doubt considering 9/10 this is the first time we are "thinking" about it again since X time and we are not necessarily known for the accuracy of remembering things. We remember things globally.

If you ask us details. And we are in "emotional stress". We will almost never say "I do not know". Because we see the amount of value you put into it. This makes us overthink and try to come up with an "exact" as possible and tends to be incomplete and changing. I had my INFJ once asking me to take time to reconstruct exactly because the slight changes drove her nutts. Truth is I can probably never fully reconstruct that which my brain has no interest in saving. Most likely human interactions.

We do this because we try to work with you. Although I would never ever do that again. Focussing on the past is not why you are into a relationship. X decision in the past does not mean I am a different person. I would stand behind that with my whole heart on which I do not think it would escalate. Most ENTP's tend to not have/do/known this until X age. Because you need to be able to know who you are to be able to say that. Which is hard because we tend to be the "forever growing up" kind.

ENTP charakter about the INFJ is "broken":
This almost never happens. Unless we had this beforehand. The only possible thing is that we take a distance from "emotional overreacting". Or at least when that limiter is too much for us. We will forever help you emotionally. But when that is turned towards us (you are emotional blaming us). That's a different thing. We separate emotional state and logic as our life depends on it. Meaning we are really bad at dealing with it when it comes together. Possibly enough to make us turn away. Although we want to know and hear it to grow. Simple right? (ahum..)


Emotional expectancies of INFJ:
We will say a lot of times that we understand. But if you came to us and reflected something about the relationship and requested something. For example, you want to spend more time together. And you tend to have it all reflected inside out etc. So you come to us in a very calm way. We understand! Great! Things will change now, right?

NO. Understanding != changing. We tend to not understand the seriousness of certain emotional expectancies, neither on how to change them. It is NOT that we do not want too. We tend to just be completely oblivious sometimes. Meaning the INFJ will say things softly & understandably 90 times. ENTP will knod 90 times. We never remember with few exceptions.

If you want something emotional. Do not think we can "plan" or take this into consideration. We tend to just be impossible for that, maybe up until a certain age. We need consistent stimulation or we might still forget. But this goes against the nature of the INFJ because 9/10 this tends to end in them forming a character of us doing it on purpose, or not giving them the things they want. Or making it emotional/personal which drives us very far away. Everyone is imperfect. The next lawn will have other requirements. If you can learn to understand this from each other. And learn the other's person "language of love" there will be good times.

What we look for in people is different, do not judge that:
I think INFJ's tend to look at people more as a "what actions did they take" to judge. While we tend to look at what they are trying to achieve. I can be around a lot of people that most INFJ's would not be able to stand. Because I see value in certain aspects of them and I see them trying to become a better person. Which tends to be at least enough for me to be able to stand you. The funny part is we are 20x meaner when talking about people in a general or even specifics. I cannot see an INFJ be with someone who does things that do not conform close to their own moral code. I can do this as long as someone does not expect me to change my moral code for them. Oh, and I need to be able to call them stupid when they do something stupid.

If you do not like XYZ for a certain reason and want to avoid people in our life. Be clear, that's okay. Just give us the freedom to still see them (without trying to judge us for it >.>)

General tip:
Talking to their friends, family etc.. Is addition to your arsenal to make things work. Because they know them for a lot longer then you do. And even if they didn't, they see them in a different light then you do. If you feel lost it can be helpful to talk to them. Always try to resolve with your partner first of course. But there is nothing wrong with trying to find better ways to understand your partner.

Never smear bad things about your partner around them. This just makes you a horrible person (obvious).

Hope this helps & things work out :).
 

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O you know those ENTP gals.

They just love to get pregnant. Watch out!

According to the last research study...
INFJ/ENTP couples are statistically damned to only have ESFJ babies.

So that's one thing to consider.

Also, PEW research suggest that INFJ/ENTP couples
are served better as a couple if the are both vegetarians.

So buy some veggies.

What else is there....

O yes.. how could I forget!

The rate of contraceptive failures between types apparently
is skewed very high in INFJ/ENTP couples. Who knew?



So to nut shell this.
Get ready to have tons of unplanned, vegetarian, ESFJ kids.


Ahhh I am kidding...or am I?

Just have some fun with it. The two types can jive pretty well
according to actual research.
 

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Yay! One of my favorite friends is an ENTP, probably no one has helped me grow as a person more.

Here’s some things I’ve learned. I may be way off, esp since I have very little experience with female ENTPs, so my apologies if this is not even close to correct. 😬

-Communicate. Do not be afraid to be direct. They need it. It helps them grow too. If you aren’t direct they’ll be clueless.

-Do not overanalyze. Take them at their word & do not look for hidden meanings.

-You have to be tough for this match. If you don’t have experience with an ENTP, there’s a giant learning curve. But if you’re both open & again, communicate, it’s a beautiful opportunity for both to develop their character.

-They are a bit extreme with their attention. It can fluctuate. It will be SUPER intense in the beginning, eventually piddle off a bit but then bounce back & be fairly consistent if they value you.

When they let their sun shine on you, it warms you to your core. Which in contrast makes the times when they don’t shine their light on you carry an extra bite. However I’m sx instinct, so maybe I’m more sensitive to this. 🙂 I’ve learned to put my friend in a box. Look at it this way, it allows you to embrace the independence you love so much. But again, this is speaking from a friendship. I imagine it’s different in a romantic relationship.

-Do not put (internal) expectations on them.

-Up your T game. Be reasonable. Do not let emotions run you. But still:

-Be yourself. Don’t feel bad for having strong emotions, we be who we be. 🙂 Also let your weirdo flag fly, it’s the most freeing feeling. They’ll make fun of you for it but it’s only teasing. They’re weirdos too.

-Don’t be afraid to call them out.

-Don’t get booty-hurt when they call you out. Learn. Unless they’re wrong, then tell them why they’re wrong. Wit dat tooty totty T.

-When necessary, establish boundaries. ENTP seem to really enjoy testing boundaries, I think it’s how they figure people out? Which is ok, but if it ever makes you uncomfortable speak UUUUP.

-They can have tough exteriors but they’re softies too. Prob my favorite thing about them. Favorite thing about T’s in general.

-Try (I know this is so hard 😣) to just go with the flow & enjoy it in the moment. Get out of your head & just goof around, it can be so rewarding & so much fun. 🙂
 
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