I think the perception that we lead people on is due to gender stereotypes or a form of culture blindness. People expect men to be really unambiguous about their interests, but our social interest or tendency towards diplomacy as INFJs makes us ambiguous when it comes to expressing our interests or desires in a firm way. I get nothing out of stringing people along, all it does is aggravate my avoidant attachment style (I worry that I will disappoint or frustrate people, so instead I retreat from the situation). I don't intentionally give people a 'yes' or a 'maybe' when I really mean a 'no', most people just suck at reading my signs of interest. Not that that's totally their fault, I could certainly learn to express myself more clearly, but I think leading people on has a very specific connotation; and there's an irony where people expect a strong yes or no from me, yet when I offer my equivalent of that they don't take it seriously I've tried being firm before, and it doesn't suit my personality, from me it just seems mean.