[Joe Black]

Hi ENFPs!

I'm curious & intrigued by this magical INFJ/ENFP chemistry I keep hearing. I might've met 1 or 2 ENFPs in real life but not sure, little opportunity.

I'm just an INFJ guy (30's) from Sydney Australia. Wife + 2 kids (4y & 1y). Stressed out graphic designer & business owner with little social life right now. Just wanna chat/brefriend an ENFP.

WHO AM I?

• On the surface: awkward, reserved, mild mannered, serious & sensible, intelligent, wise, nice guy
• Want to learn & know about everything,
• I like to be funny, silly and joke (as have a dry & dark sense of humour)
• Curious, creative, deep, complex & contradictory, eccentric.
• If I'm comfortable with you, I'll extrovert my feelings a lot and be super open & honest (That's everyone though right?) then I'll like you a lot for allowing me.
• Like cutting through BS
• Compassionate & kind but I have a very dark, rebellious streak
• Don't like trends (unless it's actually good), often try a different (maybe better) way?

(Did I just accidentally describe most typical INFJs?)

• Perhaps darker than most INFJs (Not goth.)
• I don't like standing out.
• I'm not a goody-two-shoes INFJ (but I sort of am too in certain areas? Depends...)

INTERESTS
My interests are rather wide (INFJ thing?)

• Graphics design/creativity, websites, drawing, photography, animation, video, drone video/photography
• Psychology and Personality types, cognition/teaching, self-improvement, productivity (Fave Youtubers for these: Frank James & Dear Kristen, Thomas Frank, Better Ideas)
• Linux & open source, Raspberry Pi, Electronics & Computers, programming (YT: Bryan Lunduke, Infinitely Galactic)
• Computer games (steam, 4 player couch co-op, fps), game design
• Running, calisthenic-exercises, playing basketball (not watching sport) - (I'm into fitness mainly for mental health reasons)
• Science, physics, chemistry, astronomy
• Business, e-commece, database management & spreadsheets,
• Reading fiction novels (fave genres: cyber-punk, fantasy, espionage)
• Creative writing (Writing a novel - genre: contemporary cyber-punk, espionage, action, comedy)
• Violin, Ukulele, Classical music (YT: 2set Violin)
• The Bible

 

[cloudcake]

I never understood this "magical" pairing until recently.

I've been working closely with an ENFP and our dynamic is so wonderful. The "zero caution and goofiness" thread you just resurrected rings so true. It's difficult for me to contain myself around him and focus on our work because that playful space is so rare and satisfying.

I also see why INFJ + ENFP romantic relationships seem to be successful. My new ENFP friend is 20 years older than me and married but I think a similar dynamic would be quite fulfilling in a longterm relationship.

I hope you find a nice ENFP buddy to chat with 😁

 

[Joe Black]

thread you just resurrected rings so true.

Didn't realise last message was 3 years ago before I posted! LOL oops!

I also see why INFJ + ENFP romantic relationships seem to be successful.

I know 2 other INFJs with ENFP spouses, and they seem quite happy.

 

[Llyralen]

I really have my best conversations with INFJs— but my most lasting relationships have been with other NFPs. I value that connection too much. I have gotten hurt more by INFJs than any other type. I don’t think the vice-versa would be true in my case, although I just scrutinized that. But then I do have a few who truly value me.

What I’m saying is, once you’ve experienced a good N-F-T-S friendship, for me I haven’t wanted to do without. Go for it, guys.

 

[Joe Black]

I have gotten hurt more by INFJs than any other type.

I’m sadly not surprised. I don’t like all INFJs. Some really suck. Some are really cool. I suck sometimes too. Hate that I put my foot in it from time to time. To err is human I guess?

 

[Llyralen]

I’m sadly not surprised. I don’t like all INFJs. Some really suck. Some are really cool. I suck sometimes too. Hate that I put my foot in it from time to time. To err is human I guess?

Either it was because I valued them more than they valued me or because they saw the relationship as a bit more casual. In both cases (actually 3), I believe, there was a group dynamic/ relationships with other people who mattered to the INFJ involved that did not matter to me as part of our friendship. I thought my college friend and roommate would want to always be close, like sisters, for instance, and I think she saw it as a good friendship for that time period and felt like her relationships with her cousins who wanted me out were maybe more permanent in her mind for her.

I also think it’s easy for an INFJ to assume that an ENFP values all of their friendships/aquaintenances equally and we don’t, and I think it’s assumed that we will move on easily, which might not be the case. It really depends if someone is in that inner circle with me. And I don’t think my INFJ friends can tell who is in that inner circle, what I would tell to one that the putter circle would never know. Well, from multiple conversations here on PerC I think Fi can easily tell what is personal and/or special to another Fi user and that is very hard for Fe to tell, I think. You guys, I think need us to tell you, but also if we are telling you our love or appreciation it is hard to believe it sometimes.

Anyway, this is all new for you, this is stuff that could be figured out over time better.

My main message to you is and should be: please do hang around. We ENFps love having other types comment on our boards. We love the contrast and as much as you guys crave hearing from each other, we crave outside thoughts and different perspectives. So please do hang around. We have some awesome guy ENFPs on here too. I love our ENFP guys. Please take this as an open invitation to bring your thoughts and perspective here.

 

[Joe Black]

we crave outside thoughts and different perspectives.

😬 It's my profession to be think creatively (graphic designer +, I actually do a whole lot more. Consulting, problems solving etc.) - so I look forward to flexing my eccentricity 😬

So please do hang around. We have some awesome guy ENFPs on here too. I love our ENFP guys. Please take this as an open invitation to bring your thoughts and perspective here.

I imagine an ENFP party looking like:

Then I feel like:

But I actually look like:

Then an ENFP brings me out of my shell and I become so cool like:

Then I reflect on the past and think.... regret "What the heck was on?"... damn... cannot delete posts...

My "pattern noticing" Ni is on overdrive right now. 😂

 

[Joe Black]

It really depends if someone is in that inner circle with me. And I don’t think my INFJ friends can tell who is in that inner circle, what I would tell to one that the putter circle would never know. Well, from multiple conversations here on PerC I think Fi can easily tell what is personal and/or special to another Fi user and that is very hard for Fe to tell, I think. You guys, I think need us to tell you, but also if we are telling you our love or appreciation it is hard to believe it sometimes.

I'm (not) proud to say that a after a lifetime of being kept at arms length, that I can sorta tell what inner circle feels like. Do you have (exclusively) online friends on the inner circle? I find Exclusively Online relationships rather... interesting (only just started this year).

So bizarre... that I can read people... but also need re-affirmation as though I can't read people at all. But I can see it's something I'm learning to develop - Fi.

I feel like the whole world keeps me arms length... All the freaking time.... but I also kind of end up doing that too for some reason. (Defensive mechanism?) - So if/when someone expresses love/appreciation... its like... "Really? I don't believe it... It's actually April Fools today.... so.... funny joke...."

 

[Llyralen]

@Joe Black. LOL! That was awesome! Especially the Toby McGuire...

 

[ai.tran.75]

Hey there !
I think it’s awesome that you’re looking for an enfp friend
You’ve mentioned that you enjoy fiction- what are some of your favorite books or author ?
since you’ve mentioned have 2 little ones - do you have any favorite children book or story that you or your wife read to them ?
enjoy your time here

 

[Joe Black]

Hey there!
I think it’s awesome that you’re looking for an enfp friend
You’ve mentioned that you enjoy fiction- what are some of your favorite books or author ?
since you’ve mentioned have 2 little ones - do you have any favorite children book or story that you or your wife read to them ?
enjoy your time here

Hey thank for dropping in!
I like Cyberpunk (like William Gibson's Neuromancer), Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. Also like fantasy like Wizard of Earthsea. I like Espionage like The Secret Generations by John Gardner.

Nick Bland's books are pretty funny for us and kids. Nicely Illustrated too! Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's book's are quite fun so far.

Your name sound very Viet. I happen to be one too! 😄 Not uber fantastic as speaking it, but got by when I went on holidays there.

 

[ai.tran.75]

Hey thank for dropping in!
I like Cyberpunk (like William Gibson's Neuromancer), Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson. Also like fantasy like Wizard of Earthsea. I like Espionage like The Secret Generations by John Gardner.

Nick Bland's books are pretty funny for us and kids. Nicely Illustrated too! Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's book's are quite fun so far.

Your name sound very Viet. I happen to be one too! Not uber fantastic as speaking it, but got by when I went on holidays there.

thanks for sharing! I was always curious about John Gardner but never had a chance to read any of his work. I enjoy reading as well - so long as it’s not a romance or manga.

I’m a fan of Nick Bland as well I grew up reading Dr Seuss and Tomie dePaola so those are my go to authors - along with this big people little dream books
Nice to see another Vietnamese American on here. Did you visit the north central or south( I have never been- my entire family came here in 75’ and I wasn’t born until over a decade later ) With that said -I’m pretty well aware of my family’s genealogy

here’s a photo that you might enjoy - the first picture is my grandmother’s great mother and the last one is my daughter

 

[Joe Black]

Hey Ai, Very cute daughter!

I don't have a copy of my ancestors photos with me but have seen it.

I find a lot of romances overly cliche and contrived, predictable. And even a lot of comedy unfunny. But crave funny comedy. I love "Meet Joe Black". I find it's humour very dry peculiar. But it's not particularly a comedy, but find it funny anyway. Also love "Ground Hog Day" 2 favourite movies.

I traveled from north to south before we had kids. Camped in the jungles in the central Ninh Bình. It has been our favourite holiday destination so far.

I also grew up with Dr Seuss. Also liked Graeme Base's illustrations and books too growing up. I'm nostalgic about Richard Scarry.

I wish I had more time to read though. I want to do too many things, start too many projects, start too many books, games, but not enough hours in a day!

I rely on audio books to get through material. Though part of my reading is also just needing to exercise reading skills more too. Also reading that Chinese Epic "Romance of the 3 Kingdoms" Kinda of hard to keep up with all the characters. Feel like I need to take notes as i read it.
Oh and Dune! I'm wanting to start that. And the sequels to Ender's Game. I liked Ender's Game the book. Also appreciated the movie adaptation.