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18 Posts
I am an INFJ female in a long-distance "relationship" with an INFP male for about 3 months. Short version of the background story--knew each other growing up, kissed once in 8th grade. Fast forward 20 years, we randomly reconnect and decide to have dinner. We immediatley connected immensely and spent every spare minute together for about 2 weeks until he moved back home half-way across the country. It was a life-changing experience for me because I've never dated another NF and found being with an INF to be a dream-come-true and I believe he feels the same way. He says what he loves best about me is that he can talk to me about anything, like he can with his best friends. We also have an incredible physical chemistry, which we'd always had since 8th grade. I've been out to spend 2 long weekends with him and it has been incredible for us both.
As I have now learned with INFP's...he's slow to trust. As an INFJ I am as well but once I let you in I'm all in. Our J-P difference is rearing its head--he'd rather enjoy our relationship and live day by day. He doesn't want to say we're boyfriend/girlfriend, etc as he thinks labels are the curse of death and he wants this to work. He trusts me but admits he's still holding back. I, on the other hand, knew I'd found someone special immediately and am willing to give him my all. I am driving for some kind of closure and need to know where he sees our relationship going because carrying on a long-distance relationship is expensive and takes a lot of maneuvering on my part (I'm a single mother of a toddler). He, however, continues to say we are great and wants to just take every day as it comes.
My question is this....should I date other people or continue to give my all to this man whom I adore, without knowing where it will head? I'm struggling to understand if his ambivalence about direction is due to his P and I therefore should not take it personally...in which case I would NOT dare jeopardize his trust in me by dating others. If, however, this is not a P thing and I should take it personally, how do you other INFP men think he would react if I told him I plan to date other people?
As I have now learned with INFP's...he's slow to trust. As an INFJ I am as well but once I let you in I'm all in. Our J-P difference is rearing its head--he'd rather enjoy our relationship and live day by day. He doesn't want to say we're boyfriend/girlfriend, etc as he thinks labels are the curse of death and he wants this to work. He trusts me but admits he's still holding back. I, on the other hand, knew I'd found someone special immediately and am willing to give him my all. I am driving for some kind of closure and need to know where he sees our relationship going because carrying on a long-distance relationship is expensive and takes a lot of maneuvering on my part (I'm a single mother of a toddler). He, however, continues to say we are great and wants to just take every day as it comes.
My question is this....should I date other people or continue to give my all to this man whom I adore, without knowing where it will head? I'm struggling to understand if his ambivalence about direction is due to his P and I therefore should not take it personally...in which case I would NOT dare jeopardize his trust in me by dating others. If, however, this is not a P thing and I should take it personally, how do you other INFP men think he would react if I told him I plan to date other people?