Well, I like looking at where we're weak to help determine where we're strong. That said, which of these do you feel speaks more of how you are when you're "at your worst?" (These aren't mine, just lifting them for ease of the process.)
A.) Do you suddenly want to try out some new outlandish idea? Do you become very careless or lose control over details that you’re usually quite good with? Do you feel your mind is in a fog and you act erratically, sometimes irritable and withdrawn, while other times too loud and obnoxious? Do you feel out of control and act more impulsively with less social inhibition, such as uncharacteristically snapping at others or saying things that you know will be hurtful or damaging? Do past mistakes or negative past events dog you or make you believe that it is not worth working towards a future goal? Do you feel paralyzed when you think about the future, imagining all the things that could go wrong if you make the wrong decision? Do you see signs of danger or impending doom everywhere? Do you feel sudden bouts of irrational hope only to have them cruelly dashed by reality, suffering the emotional swings in the process?
B.) Do you suddenly feel that your thinking is messy and the future opaque, like you’re just going through the motions without any meaning? Do you feel tired of overthinking? Do you often feel an underlying frustration or anger, ready to snap/rant/rage at the slightest provocation, or even want to systematically tear someone down? Do you make a lot of careless mistakes? Do you restlessly seek out “facts” to support your ideas/actions? Do you stew about events that you know are out of your control, sometimes berating yourself for mistakes and wanting a do-over? Do you become less focused, more clumsy, or lose some control over your body? Do you feel the urge to bury/lose yourself in some physical task like cleaning, organizing, exercising, or mastering a hands-on skill? Do you compulsively check on certain things or fuss about aesthetic details in your environment, even your/others’ physical appearance? Do you get strong urges to escape problems through sensory activities/pleasures like drugs, eating, sex, etc., and then afterwards kick yourself or feel guilty for such useless behavior? Do you get a strong urge to do something new/crazy because of feeling disturbed by vague underlying restlessness? Do you feel an urgent need to take action or make a change because something triggers you to believe that you are not where you want to be in life?
Of course it could be that neither of these sounds right to you, which is fine. It just means we need to expand our search a bit. Also remember, there's no such thing as a "bad" type, let alone a "best" type, but there is such a thing as "your" type.
i don't feel angry most of the time im a very calm person, when im angry i don't like to say mean things to others, its like i think before i act even when im angry, even if im angry at someone else and the other person is angry at me too, i don't say bad things i always try to end things and be peaceful again because i believe that when people are angry they do things they don't want to do and i don't want to regret that i did this bad thing or said something bad, i don't want anyone to think that im a bad person i want to be everyone's friend or if not a friend at least not an enemy, and i don't say bad things that make people feel sad or bad because i feel that i did something wrong abd i feel very guilty for it, it haunts me sometimes and i feel bad for it but i don't feel bad for too long this feeling doesn't affect me its like when i say (if i went back in time i wouldn't have ever done that.), i know when someone is sad, i know it from their facial expressions their voice their way of acting, idk i just know it, and i feel bad for him, sometimes i try to make the person feeling bad better or sometimes i don't do anything but just feel bad for him (depending on the person whether i like him or not but even if i don't like him i feel bad for him because i put myself in his place and imagine myself going through the problem that made him sad that is way i feel sad too) i don't care about society, or i don't care about what other people in my age do (im 16 years old btw) everyone in my age only thinks about going out having fun, most of the boys are only occupied with talking to girls and most of the girls are only occupied with having fun and taking selfies and whatever they love to do, i don't like to do any of this, in fact i hate this i always put myself in the position of other people and imagine and know why they do something and what is their intention but i can't understand why they are so trivial i can understand the motivation of a killer when he kills someone or a thief when he steals ( but i also know that this is wrong i only see their point of view) but i can't understand why they don't care about anything i always feel lonely i always feel different from everyone, i don't have anything common with everyone, i felt sad about it in the past as i thought that there was something wrong with me and i need to seek medical advice but now i understand that im just different and i don't feel bad for it, to be totally honest sometimes i feel lonely and i wish i had someone to trust and talk to and care about instead my mother, i always like staying at home playing video games on my xbox 360, if you make me choose whether i go out have fun with beautiful girls or play on my xbox sitting on the couch i would choose playing games at home, i don't like crowded places, i hate bf gf stuff i think its a waste of time and money i want someone to love and trust forever, i hate manipulation and i despise manipulators i know someone who manipulates everyone including me now i just don't talk to him like i used to but i have to deal with him as he is with me in the same class and i prefer being a fake friend than an enemy i don't want him to hurt me in any way and also i benefit from him (idk if that makes me a manipulator but i believe that manipulating a manipulator isn't wrong, i don't manipulate anyone btw, i think im emotional if something is very emotionally strong like the death of someone in a movie with the right sad music makes me cry but if watch the same movie with someone sitting beside me i don't cry i even make fun of the scene. As if im a stone cold bastard!
I like metal music ( only 3 days grace & skillet & linkin park ) and i also love imagine dragons some people tell me that im deep for listening for these songs but i just love them they make me feel good and i also like instrumental music especially jazz and piano and guitar. I don't know if i seek facts to prove my point it just depends on the situation. I hate being not in control of something that affects me like when my fate depends on something that either destroys me or make me great, i want to be in control of myself.i don't really care about my appearance as long as the outfit is clean and tidy and looks good i can wear it all week, i don't care about the appearance of anyone. I don't make a lot of careless mistakes but i wouldn't say that i don't make any careless mistakes. Im lazy af. I like to face my problem. But i also have porn addiction, and i feel bad and i try to stop doing that. Idk if im an organised person because my stuff are just everywhere but i know where every single thing is and i feel angry when someone changes its place. I'm not really a person that makes a crazy thing, i always think before i act i think of the consequences, i make a plan but i also believe that anything can happen and i adapt and stand up for my problems and face them. I also like following my gut feeling, i also know when i meet a person after some time if he is bad or good and if i feel he is bad i don't interact with him and i feel bad around him. If you read all this thank you very much for your care and im sorry that i wrote a lot.
No worries friend, sorry for not getting back with you quicker. Today has not been one of my better days. But I digress.
So, I can totally see how you could test as both INFJ and ISFJ online from what you've described. The basic patterns are there that could lend you to select towards those in a forced-choice style of test. Now, if I might suggest something to you based on what you describe feeling within yourself, have you considered looking into either the ISFP or INFP types?
Okay, so let me explain my reasoning here. The way you describe your feelings of pain for others, combined with your strong gut instincts about other people and their motives, reads very strongly to me of Introverted Feeling. This, when combined with your description of yourself as being withdrawing in social situations (showing a probable preference for a Dominant introverted function), as well as your description of hating the sensation of being out of control of your life and seeing people manipulate others (both being hallmarks of Inferior Extraverted Thinking, which is the parallel to Dominant Introverted Feeling) seem to confirm the theory in my mind.
(HOWEVER, this is based just on what you've written, so it goes without saying that my scope of information is much less than yours on what's going on inside you.)
So, with that in mind, what are your thoughts on that? Have you looked into either ISFP or INFP as a possible fit? Both can very easily be mistaken for the IxFJ types in online tests, which is just fine. My view of the whole process of figuring out which type fits best for a person is that the process of self discovery is so wonderfully cathartic, and everybody needs that sense of relief that comes from popping the emotional zit that is being ignorant of the patterns of our souls.
Idk i have just watched some videos of both personalities and im confused i don't really care about birthdays, i am a really sceptic person for example if im waiting for someone i always have that concern that they left without me and didn't tell me, i care about other people but i hate other people as well but i act fine when im with them but i don't feel happy with them, im gentle, i sometimes especially when i was young i used to when i was going to meet friends plan a situation and think about every detail and think of something funny to say but when i actually meet them nothing i imagined happens and it makes me sad, im really good at learning foreign language (btw English is not my first language or original language) recently i started learning French and my teacher tells me that im a great listener and just say every word right as the teacher spells it, and also if someone made something in front of me and told me to do it i would do it exactly as that person did it, although i have never tried it before, i'm not really into reading but i love music i adore songs especially meaningful ones, im really amazed by God's creations and amazed by the psychology of human beings and how they act a certain way and how God created the beautiful stars and we are in a very big space and our planet is nothing compared to the size of galaxies and everything around us, i also put myself in other people place for example yesterday i saw a plane in the sky and i thought to myself that this plane contains people travelling across the country for various reasons, i like deep thinking, i don't know if i seek facts to prove my point or past experiences, i think it depends on the subject, some people think that im extrovert, i don't care about dating at all, when i express something or talk about anything to people i always feel that they don't understand what i say and i always ask them if they get my point and if they understand what im saying, sometimes i feel extroverted i feel im in a good mood and talk fluently and make people laugh and make everyone listen to what i say but that doesn't happen quite often and not with anyone, when everyone meet me for the first time they get the impression that im very polite, i treat people i don't know with respect, im not really good at making decisions when im under pressure and nervous, but i am a good leader and i take responsibility for everything i do, people easily make me change my decision i become confused whether i choose this or that and when i ask people and they give me opposite decisions like some ppl say this is good the others say the opposite thing is good i think of both and i think about their point of view and their perspective on this particular decision and why they made it and idk i think both are good and i can't make a decision, i consult others before i do something especially my mother but what happens is that i ask her what to do in a situation and she tells me to do something and i tell her that i thought about other good thing to do and she tells me that im wrong i don't listen and do it and sometimes the decision i made was wrong and she told me was right and i regret not listening to her, im really confused about this personality thing because everyone around me is different they are like a cult they all like football they all like certain type of songs that i don't like certain type of movies that i don't like, this is really confusing.