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4,951 Posts
I watched a few of your videos and really enjoyed the way you clearly describe functions! :encouragement:
You’re clear with your communications and get your point across in a ‘ To the point ‘ and understandable way. Thanks for sharing your new channel and I will be sure to keep watching. You made me smile, too because I could see similarities in your mannerisms with myself and other INFJs. :smilee:
Aww, thanks so much for that! Much appreciated! :heart: I thought it was time to share my MBTI obsession with the wider world. I've also created a connected Instagram account, mainly based on MBTI Memes. (Also called INFJinxed)

6,250 Posts
Back to the days off. I'm glad. I think that was the longest 3 day work week evah. Seriously, though.

It's the boredom. Good Christ... there is nothing to do. And that's nice... I mean, I'm basically getting paid to do fuck all, right? And paid quite well. But goddamn is doing nothing boring as fuck. I think I'm going to have to put the tablet away and go find another book to read. I can engross myself more in a book than I can in any of the lil games on my tablet. And I'm already getting bored with them, anyway. So... yeah.

Maybe I should by some movies to watch. I mean, I know there's gotta be stuff out there that I wanted to see that I haven't yet. I have no idea what, but there has to be. The problem is, a movie is just one night. So then what? Go find a book.

Speaking of books... HBO has a movie adaption of the Wally Lamb book This Much I Know Is True... I quite liked the book... and the other book by Lamb that I read... the title of which has escaped me. I think maybe I'll tune into HBO tonight and see about this... it could be a really nice movie, if it's done right. Ah... I guess this is a limited series... good, that'll tell more story.

I guess I'll watch that series and maybe tomorrow start in on Westworld. It's not going to be nice on my days off this go 'round, so we're likely to be house bound for the entirety... which is tomorrow since I'm back to my normal 3rd shift 1.5 days off thing. Today was chill and wet and gray... tomorrow is going to be more of the same. Highs in the area of the lows last week. Yay.

I do have extra days for Memorial Day weekend. I guess that's caused a stir at work. Natalie... of course. She decided to take "vacation" then... put in for 8 days off, the end of which is around the Memorial Day holiday. And she got seven of those eight days off... but she didn't get Memorial Day off, because I have seniority. So... she has all these days off in a row, then has to come back to work for that one night, then has another day or two off after that. (I forget)

According to Isaiah, she called him and was bitching about it, almost crying. And then... she apparently, blamed the whole situation on Rita... because Rita was off that day... because it's her normally scheduled day off.


Yeah. I know. I don't get it, either. Isaiah was just like... da fuq, man?

I wish I could feel sorry for her. But I don't. She took three months of Saturdays off so nobody else (well, me specifically) couldn't take any extra days off... so... yeah. Oh well. Besides, that's happened to me frequently. She thinks these sorts of things only happen to her... but the reality is that they happen to everyone else, too. She just doesn't care when it's someone else.

I'm honestly quite shocked that she had 8 whole days of vacation stored up! Rita said that Natalie told her she had 64 hrs of vacation, total... and that equals 8 days, obviously. So she was pitching all of her vacation at this one set of days. And she got all of them but one approved, so I don't know what she's pissing and moaning about. If I were here, I'd cancel the days on the back half after having gone back to work for that one night, and save them for some other day.

Not that I'm going to leave a lot of other days available, but whatever. Me and the summer are doing to be doing some 3 days weekends. Maybe some four or six day weekends, too. Trust me when I say, I have way more than 64 hrs of vacation time, even after just taking 24 hrs last week.

We'll see how it all shakes out, though.

The past two days were my first days working with the TEP from second shift. Audrey. I'd say I don't like her, but I honestly don't care enough about her to dislike her. I get the distinct feeling that she doesn't like me... and that's ok. She doesn't speak to me. At all... she's new to the shift, in this Temporarily Elevated Peon position of hers and... you know, she's training right now so she can be a pretend supervisor (scape goat) so Kelly can have days off... so... I dunno... I would think, if you're coming onto a shift you've never worked before, with people you never worked with before and you're expecting to be their (temporary) fearless leader... you might, like... I dunno... talk to people? Say hi, maybe? Or... something?

But nope. Not a fucking word. Walks onto my unit like I'm not even there, then leaves just the same. I find it a bit odd and more than just a little rude, to be honest.

In the grand scheme of things, I don't care. I just... how she never going to speak to someone (anyone) and then try to supervise said some(ones)? This is bizarre behavior to me. But... whatever. Hopefully, that just means that when she's left to "supervise" alone, that she stays in her lane. Cuz... everyone on 3rd, but Isaiah have been there 4, 5, 10 times as long as she has, soooooo...

6,250 Posts
Well. I was going to watch that limited run series I posted about last night, but... it's not available yet.

So... Westworld it was. I got two eps in before I was too tired to continue. It's been so long since the end of the last season, it was a bit hard to pick up on everything coming back in. But... back in it now. I'll probably watch a lot of episodes overnight. This being my last day off and all that fun stuff.

Won't be outside today, either. The temp is only meant to be in the mid 50s. Plus it rained... so even if I could stand to sit outside for an extended period of time, without freezing to death... there's the mud issue. I don't want to be washing dogs and trust me when I say, they dogs don't want to be washed, either.

They need to be, though. Maybe next month when it's a little warmer. They'll both get hauled over to the Tractor Supply Company... cuz they have a dog wash station. $10 and everything's included. Which... is just easier for me. 1) I don't have to have any supplies on hand, nor do I have to clean up the mess after. 2) The wash tubs are at standing height, no kneeling and bad knees. 3) They can't escape. :tongue: Even if they hop out of the tub (they can't, they'll be tethered) they're still stuck in the little room... so... no escape, wet puppies! And there is a dryer and brushes/combs and what not... so nice.

For me? That's worth $10 a dog. And then some. I'd probably do it for $20 a dog. (Psssst... don't tell TSC that!)

I have to do that when it's warmer and when my mom is available to help. The wee pup will be absolutely terrified, because he's a big chicken little and the big pup... well, he'll not be too happy. And so... extra hands are needed.

I need to get an external hd for my ps4, me thinks. I just don't know what to get or whatever. Will a Passport work? Because that's what I use for my pc. I expect it would, but I just don't know dick about any of that stuff.

I need to learn how to use video editing software, too. I dl'd some free stuff. Open Shot, as that was recommended to me. And... it's supposed to be easy, but I have absolutely no clue how to do any of it. I messed with it a bit and... I'm lost... totally lost. And this is supposed to be easy, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do nor do I know how to do it. And that frustrates me, because... it can't possibly be that hard, so... either I'm processing the info incorrectly or it's something (like poetry or jigsaw puzzles, origami, etc) that just... doesn't work for me for whatever reason.

I'll have to watch some extremely basic beginner's videos, I guess.

I don't like feeling stupid and every time I look at this stuff and don't know what the hell to do with it, I feel stupid. It seems to come easy to others and I'm over here struggling my eyeballs out. That's annoying. Seriously. :tongue:

I just want to add that to my photography skill set, you know? I can take high quality video with my camera, too... so... I figure add video shorts or whatever and make more money. Or be more marketable, anyway. We'll see, I guess.

I suppose I should be off to see if I can find such videos on the YT... if you know of any, link me!

6,250 Posts
Man... the days off gone already. Bah.

Both Little Richard and Roy Horn (Roy from Siegfried & Roy) have both passed away. Little Richard apparently had bone cancer and Roy died from complications of covid-19. Bummer.

I don't think Roy was in particularly good shape to begin with, since being mauled in 2003... he didn't look good after that, anyway. Little Richard... I've not seen him in public for a good long while, so... no idea.

That's kinda sad, I think... I mean, they both had a good run. They were elderly, so... not as tragic as a 15 yr old dying of bone cancer or what not. But sad because they're bringing about the ends of eras, yeah? Those old early rock 'n roll icons... performers from yesteryear, both.

And gay. Both gay as fuck. Little Richard was a goddamn flamer! So damn flamboyant! And so many people not catching on. I mean there's Rock Hudson gay and then there's Liberace gay, right? Little Richard was definitely in the later camp there. (Of course... there once was a band with a gay leader singer... named Queen, of all fucking things, and a lot of people never caught on to that, either...)

There was a post in one of the local forums about how there aren't any "decent" (aka 1950 standards) tv shows on anymore. It's all smut and murder and blah, blah, blah. (Actually, it's all crappy "reality" shows, talk shows & game shows...) And then suggested something like The Waltons come back. A good, wholesome tv show with family values!

Didn't the heart to tell them that the actors portraying Grandma & Grandpa Walton (Ellen Corby & Will Geer) were members of the LBGTQ community. Corby was a lesbian and Will Geer was bisexual and involved with gay rights activist Harry Hay. And... both mama and papa Walton (Michael Learned and Ralph Waite) were raging alcoholics during the time the show ran.

I don't think they'd care about the drunks... but they sure would have a problem with the whole gay thing. Funny how that works.

People are silly like that, you know.

I didn't do much at all on my days off this week. Slept. That's what I did the majority of it. I must've been quite tired in a fashion, because I can't usually sleep like that. I was up yesterday until after eating that glorious pizza... laid down to try to watch Westworld... had to restart the same episode twice because I fell asleep.

Gave up when I woke up the third time. Switched to YouTube... slept through... I have no idea how much content. I tried to watch, I really did. But... Westworld wasn't holding me, so YT didn't stand much of a chance at all. I probably slept from... 7p until about 0200... then got up and went to bed and slept till 330p.

So, yeah. Too fucking long. I guess I needed it though, cuz I sure as shit couldn't stay awake.

I was starting to feel a bit under the weather on Wed/Thurs... I think it was because I didn't have my allergy meds and then it was also cool, gray and wet outside, which made me feel headachey and sleepy. (Thanks barometric pressure!) And... yeah. I think it was just a perfect storm of that nonsense. It's still cool and wet and gray outside. Quite disappointing me and the pups, yeah?

I have my allergy meds now... so hopefully, I won't be so tired this upcoming week. Of which I have to work all five days. Ugh. I knew that six days off was going to make coming back to work a miserable thing. And that's indeed what has happened. I just don't want to... at all. Even a little bit. I'm so fucking done. Done done done.

But... here I shall stay until something else reasonable comes along... which, considering my age, my location and all that fun stuff, could possibly be never. So... that's reassuring. :dry:

My niece and her boyfriend got another puppy. They just got a puppy a bit ago (I can't remember when... he's not a year old, I don't think) First they had Chip... and now they've added Milo to the mix. Both mini wieners. They're goddamn cute is what they are. Just wee little things, though. I don't get the wiener love, honestly. We had a regular sized wiener growing up and that was plenty enough for me to know I never ever ever needed to own one. Don't get me wrong... grew up with that dog and loved him to death, but goddamn. Destructive, psycho little bastard!

I feel the same way about huskies. Beautiful dogs. I had one back in the late 80s all the way through to the late 90s... I think she was 12 when she died. Loved that dog to death... never want to have another husky ever ever again. Too much. Just too damn much. Hard headed... lovely, sweet... but hard headed. She was obedience trained and she did not have any fucks to give about that nonsense. And she took any opportunity she had to get loose... out the gate, out the house, whatever... and then it was full on CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Seriously. That dog. Goddamn. Never again. I love them... they're beautiful. I just have no desire to own one ever again.

I'll stick to my lads, thanks. And maybe a Great Dane someday. I really like those dogs a lot. Or an Irish Wolfie. So lovely.

But the two lil wieners sure are cute... they've got that going for them, at least.

I think my niece and the OLB (one legged boyfriend) are practicing for children raising. I have a feeling that this OLB will be the boy she ends up marrying. I think this puppy raising is practice.

My mom doesn't think so. My mom thinks that my niece may get married, but that she won't have kids. I disagree. I'm more inclined to believe my nephew won't have kids. Or even get married. But... hell... maybe they'll both surprise me? Anything is possible. Especially as they got older and older, eh?

Which reminds me that, this year is the 9th anniversary of my nephew's graduation.


Holy shit. The boy has been out of high school for almost 10 yrs. That's fucking... weird, man. It does not in any way, shape or form, seem like it's been nearly a decade since his high school graduation. It barely seems like it's been ten years since I graduated high school for fuck sake... and, yes... I know... that was almost 40 yrs ago for me. How weird is that?!?

Thirty eight years ago, I graduated from high school. I've been out of high school longer than some of you reading have even been alive. That's crazy. Of course, when kids at work who are not familiar with me (different unit, usually) they ask me how long I've worked there... and the answer is always, longer than you've been alive... longer than this building has existed. Because both of things are true. I've worked there for 21.5 yrs at this point in time... longer than any of those kids have been alive. Our current building was built in 2002... I've obviously done the job even before the current building even existed... by nearly four years.

I've worked that job long enough that I've started to see the children of former inmates show up in the facility. Which is... bizarre as fuck. I mean... logically, I know this kids have grown up... but I stop seeing them when they're 15-18 yrs old... so thinking of them now as 36-39 yr olds is pretty fucking weird.

Some of the first kids I started working with, back when I worked at the group home, are in their early 40s now.

Crazy how the time goes by, innit?

There's a freeze warning here for tonight. Stupid weather. It needs to get back to acceptable levels of warmness. Though I know, it's rarely predictably warm until after Memorial Day. We used to have a clan of us (t shirts and all) called the Memorial Day Monsters and every Memorial Day weekend, we'd take over an entire (small) section of a lesser used lake. Camping, drinking, sand volleyball, fishing, all kinds of crazy races and games and what not. Cuz we were all 20 somethings and no (or very few) kids, eh?

And it never failed... a day or two of the weekend would be great! Fantastic weather... and then at least one day would be absolute shit. Rain, cold, wind... freeze your fucking ass off kind of shit weather. I always camped in my truck bed (it had a custom topper with two couches that made into a bed) and goddamn if that particular day of the event didn't suck. No heat... nothing to do, really... lying in that wee topper. Only coming out to piss or go get food.

I usually just spent that day napping in my sleeping bag (usually with all my clothes on, cuz it was fucking cold) and/or watching tv. I had a wee little camp tv... and I always brought that and my wee little fan... and two extension cords. So... yeah. I remember those days well... cuz that one day and it never failed, there was always one, sucked so bad.

I actually took one couples little 2 yr old son for a few hours once... me, so I had some company for a while and they, so they could do adult things in a wee tent. :tongue: Me and lil dude had fun, though. I remember reading stories, but I don't know what else we did. I just remember them asking if I'd be willing to take him for a little while. Cuz... you know... :wink::tongue::cool:

And Memorial day isn't for a couple more weeks, eh? Which is the same day as my next four day weekend. Woot. At least I don't have to wait too long to get that done. I need to take some time off in June, though. I've not put in for anything for June yet...

I need it to get warmer soon, though. I need to be outside. The pups need to be outside. We all need to be outside, goddamn it!

Anyway. I must toodle off into the sunset, me thinks. Leave you with some Little Richard...


6,250 Posts
Lawdy. I shall die from boredom at work.

I know I shouldn't complain... because it's easy peasy right now and I'll be well and truly sad when I've got a full house again, whenever that gets around to happening... but Jesus Henry Christ... I'm so fucking bored.

I'd be ok if there were anything I could do that could hold my attention for any length of time. Something interesting. But, alas... no such beast exists. Yet. I did find a book. It's supposed to be good. (NYT best seller... whatever that's worth) But... I dunno. I couldn't really get into it last night. I did read a bit and then I just stopped because... fuck. It wasn't holding my attention and it was making me even more drowsy than I was already feeling.


It's called Six of Crows... a fantasy book. The language and the names seem... Dutch? in nature. Just saying so by the spellings and what not. I don't know... it just seems Dutch to me. When I read it, I see Dutch. *shrugs* Apparently, there are two books in this series, but there are other books set in the same universe... the Grishaverse, whatever the fuck that means. :tongue:

I think I will like the book... I should probably start reading it straight away tonight, maybe I can get caught up before I get sleepy. Cuz if I'm reading a good book, it keeps me pumped up and doesn't make me drowsy. But if I'm reading something that can't hold my attention? Just the opposite. We'll see, I guess. I want to like it.

There is so little going on with my unit and so few inmates (4) that I was done with all my work by 1045p. And... then I had to kill the next 7.25 hours with not a goddamn thing to do. I know, one day, I'll be wishing for these days again... but man, it's killing me right now. I'm not used to doing so very little at work. I've not had this little to do at work in all of the 21 yrs I've worked for the agency and it's really fucking weird.

I'm not used to being a slacker, I guess. :tongue:

We had not water for a period of time last night. Hours. I have no idea what that was about. Rita came to me, to put in a maintenance ticket because there was no water in the break room. So, whilst I was getting that ticket ready to be put in, I asked her to check my commons area bathroom.

No water.

Hmmmmmm... told her to check my unit bathrooms.

No water.

Told her this was much bigger than a maintenance ticket. She called Derrick (2nd shift supervisor, working for Kelly) and told him there was no water in the breakroom or on my unit. Malachi replied there was no water on his unit, either. And the other agency in the building replied that they too had no water.

Uh oh.

So, I told her to make sure Derrick knew he had to call in our maintenance guy right now for this because it's a sanitation issue. So she went off to make sure he understood that. (Derrick has worked there longer than any of us and as a supervisor as long as I've been there... but he doesn't make decisions. The agency has a history of trying to fire him, often for things that had nothing to do with him, over the years... and anytime he makes a decision, in the agency's eyes, it's wrong. So... he makes no decisions. At all.)

So, yeah. That was fun. I cancelled out the maintenance ticket and that was that. We were without water for quite some time. It was a tad bit gross, cuz you'd walk into the break room and the toilets all had piss in them. (Thankfully, only piss) Nasty.

But around 0430 or so, the water was back up. Dunno what happened and why we didn't have any, but... it got fixed.

That was our excitement for the night. Woo hoo. :laughing:


The only truly bad thing about last night was that it was so windy, chill and damp outside last night, my body just fucking hurt. All over. So much arthritis pain. Gads. The most bothersome was my shoulder throbbing and carrying on. It felt like when I was recovering from the surgery I had on it. Any movement I made pulled on my shoulder. Getting up out of the chair, pulled on my shoulder and it was so goddamn uncomfortable. And then, my lovely knees and ankles... so I can walk around like a 90 yr old.

I was worn out from pain by the time I got home. Took a handful of ibuprofen and went directly to sleep on the couch for a while. Felt so much better when I woke up. Man... that kind of constant pain takes the piss outta ya, boy.

I should probably call the pharmacy and see if I can get my narcos refilled for my arthritis. I haven't been using it of late... since we switched insurance companies and they throttled my drug use because other people are fucking addicts. Gee... thanks. But it's supposed to be cool and wet for a bit... I can't keep up with that kind of constant pain. It's too fucking much, man.

So, thanks you fucktard addicts... for making sure people like me who aren't fucking idiots can't get the meds they need. Thanks.

I finally pre ordered The Last of Us 2... no idea when it's coming out as that date seems to change quite a lot. I hoping soonish. I'm really looking forward to it and... yeah. I just want it. NOW. :tongue: June maybe? I dunno. I haven't see an announcement on it for a while. Not saying that there haven't been, only that I haven't seen any. And I hope it's at least as lovely as the first game, too.

Whatever... I suppose it will show up sooner or later.

I need to shave. I'm not terribly furry. I never am, because I dislike being furry. I'm usually quite shadowy, though. Sometimes a little more than that, like now. And normally, I'd be ok with that... shave again on Saturday or whatever, next week. But... wearing a mask for 8 hr shifts, 40 hrs a week... no bueno, mi amigos. It's itchy and sweaty and gross. I don't like it. So... must try to remember to shave tonight.

Sometimes, I forget. Since I'm a creature of habit and all that and don't normally shave every day or every other day. Bah.

Anyway. I suppose I should get along. I'll leave you with this... I can't believe it's been twenty years since the very first time I saw this mini series! I rewatch the series over every Veteran's Day weekend. (I did it a little later last year, though.) If you haven't ever seen it, you truly should. It's fantastic. And even if you don't, watch the doco that goes with it. I'll put up that vid, too.

We Stand Alone Together documentary.


6,250 Posts
I called off sick from work last night.

I had a migraine threatening... popped up all the sudden, though it wasn't necessarily unexpected. I've been expecting one (or three) since the weather went to shit a week or so ago. The wet, cool and the constant threats of rain or storms. It's all the changes in the barometric pressure, which I am very sensitive to and that bit of fun is what sets off my migraines.

So... it wasn't a matter of if, just a matter of when.

The pain wasn't horrible, but steady. And it made me so sleepy. I had only been up for maybe an hour when I called off... I'd slept all day and after an hour of being awake, I could not keep my eyes open. There was just too much. And I was hot. Very fucking hot. That's never a good sign... quite often vomiting follows hot... and I'd just eaten (orange chicken) and I did not want that going back the other way, thanks.

I called off. It took me 10 minutes and four attempts before someone finally answered the goddamn phone. I have no fucking idea what the fuck was taking them so goddamn long to answer the phone, but it was pissing me off. When you already don't feel well and, if you're like me, hate talking on the phone anyway... and there is no answer at a place that always has someone (central control) to answer the phone?

When the phone rings for 2-3 minutes straight and nobody answers?

It's goddamn maddening, is what it is. The last thing you want to do when you don't feel well is sit and repeatedly dial a phone and wait for someone to answer it. It's a process that should take... 30 seconds, at the most... and now we're into the 10-12 minute area and... yes... now there is annoyance.

But... got through finally.

Went and laid on the couch. I did get to see the first episode of This Much I Know Is True or whatever it's called, on HBO. Then I was sad when I realized that HBO is not Netflix and I have to wait a week for the next episode. So... now I probably won't watch it again, until the entire series is over. I want to watch it all at once, thanks.

Netflix has spoiled us like that... well, me anyway. I don't watch a lot of tv... so, watching an entire season in a day? That's a good thing for me. It does make me sad when it's over, but... whatever.

I watched an episode of Westworld (#4, I think) after... I wanted to watch more, but the migraine was making me so sleepy. And I was afraid if I started feeling super duper sleepy, it'd worsen my migraine, so... I stopped after that episode played and put on YouTube... and I was watching a doco about two 10 yr old boys from the UK that murdered a 2 yr old... I've seen the story before, I remember when it happened in the early 90s... but I was interested to see what the doco was about. But I fell asleep, of course.

Westworld... I don't know what to think of what it's become, to be honest. I rather think I preferred it when it was taking place at Westworld... but it's interesting enough to continue on, anyway. So I guess I will. Ride it out and see what happens, eh?

Chatted with RN a little bit yesterday morning. She wants me to come over on Friday. I'm a little leery to do that just yet. She has been tested, but also works in a high exposure environment, so... yeah. She was talking about having the pool ready and all that and yay... but it's too cold for the pool and will be for probably two or three weeks yet and... I dunno.

It's not that I don't want to go hang out. It's just that I don't want to bring the 'rona home to my mom and we always hang out in the yard, on the patio, by the pool... and just fucking chill, right? But... it's not going to be warm enough for any of that... and just hanging out inside seems so... not right, if you know what I mean?

I dunno. I fucking hate change. I do. It fucks up my mojo, man. It's like at work... my one central control day, I can't be in central control (by design, of course) so instead of just leaving me in my unit, Kelly makes me go to max security... because I'm not scheduled to be on my unit that day. (It's such a bullshit answer, meant to piss me off... which it does.) So, they put Rita on my unit... the one I'm on every other day of the fucking week and have been for like... eight or so months now... and make me go to max security unit.

And that fucking stresses me out like you cannot believe. The work is no different. There are a few more inmates, but it's not a full house over there, either. It's not the work. It's the change. I've not worked in max security in... five or six years. And so going over there now, for one day a week? It fucks up the entire night for me.

Nothing is in the right place. I can't find anything. I go to do the paperwork and it's a fucked up mess because so many different people (who are not me, let's be honest) are doing it. And... it just... it's not a good or happy thing. It's annoying.

It's tonight, too, I think. Fuck.

I even asked to just stay on my unit and have Rita do max... since Rita doesn't really ever work units anyway and Kelly told me no. Because of course she did. There's no reason to say no, other than to cause me annoyance, so... there ya go.

And, yeah. I don't like change. It fucks up my mojo and makes me feel outta sorts. I don't show it on the outside, but there is all manner of chaos going down on the inside. I no likey. I will most likely be in the same position tonight. Yay me.

Anyway... all that's to say that once I develop some sort of routine? I don't like when there's a change to it. It's one thing if it's a routine that adapts and/or develops and therefore changes, over time... but this kind of change? No. I don't like it.

So. I dunno. I probably won't go to RN's. I don't think it would make my mom very happy and, with good reason. She doesn't want to get this and then croak. That would suck. I don't want that either. So... yeah. Not likely. I told RN maybe, but there's so little there that maybe is pretty much no, at this point in time.

Natalie is off for the next 12 days. That'll make work nice and peaceful. After Sam left, she became the new catalyst for making work suck even more than it already does. Part of that is that it's just her (work) nature and part of it is because, though Sam was a far bigger pain in the ass (most of the time) he was also the check & balance that kept the Kelly/Natalie team from going full on cronyism... and now that he's gone? Well... you know.

I don't dislike Natalie. And I don't want to dislike her. But she becomes more more every fucking day and with Kelly being the only real supervisor... well, that just compounds things. And so... her not being around is a good thing. I wish her not being around was at least semi permanent... like it'd be great if she bid onto 2nd shift. She didn't... but it would be great if she did.

Currently, she's an over sized two year old with a coddling "mother". She pitches and tantrum and mummy makes it all better.

It's quite annoying. On multiple levels.

Anyway. I'm off to do something. I should go lie down, but currently my sleep pattern is all manner of fucked up, so... I'm not particularly sleepy right now. I'll probably be dead ass tired tonight at work and tomorrow morning, though. Gads.

I'll leave you with some new Reverend Peyton... no Big Damn Band with him... just a cat. :tongue:


1,253 Posts
It is available for PS4, pc and Xbox. I also have it installed on my tablet, though I'm not sure if that is an option that's still available. Had to Google that... it's available for Android based systems on Google Play. For pc, you can get it on Steam. Yes... computer games are just called pc games these days.
Ok, thank you!

Ah... Negan. My favorite character, actually. He was brutal and certainly had his dickish moments with his little dictatorship he had going on at Sanctuary, but... I don't think he was ever a total asshole or a total murdery douche canoe. He is a good leader, a strong personality and he's smarter than the average bear... he outsmarted the "hero" Rick at every turn. He also really likes kids and he's funny as fuck. Which... his humor is what got me in the books. He swears like a sailor and he's just fucking hysterical. He's amusing on the show, too. And Jeffrey Dean Morgan does a bang up job of portraying the character.
I mean he did beat people to death with his naily bat so he was a bit of a murdery douche canoe but meh, MINOR DETAILS... :shocked::laughing: I didn't read the comics though, so maybe his character was portrayed differently on the show. He is funny & has his sweet moments, thus the confusion. That is how a character is well written. Rides that fine line btwn lovable bad guy. Those are my favorite. Yes the guy that plays him does a great job HUBBA HUBBA :smug:

The Walking Dead series may not be for you then, but it is a really good story. There is some minor gore in The Wolf Among Us, as well. It is about murders, after all. You don't see them, but they happen. And as Bigby Wolf, you control the amount of violence against others at his hand.
Ok well let's see how far I get with doing zero violences & murderses PROBABLY NOT FAR but we shall see. *Struts into game trying to talk to everyone & hug bad guys, gets murdered in .005 seconds*

Agreed. That's one of my favorite parts of all those games... seeing how your choices stacked up against everyone else who's played. As I said, I'm practical and logical, so most of my choices were not the more popular ones. Shocker, I know. :cool:
So what I'm hearing is I should do the opposite of what I want to do. That would be fun too- to play how your gut tells you, and then play again doing the opposite. What is the goal of the game? The end? That makes a difference in decisions on how to play the game. DID YOU BECOME THE BIGGEST, BADDEST BOSS OF ALL TIME? Am I correct to envision you had a lot of people killed if you played in a practical/logical way? :eek:h:

I have enjoyed my moments, for sure. Another day of chillaxin' with the puppos... all day. It's great for me, great for them. They're going to be sad when I have to go to work and we can't spend all day outside playing and what not. Poor pups. We'll only be able to do that on the days off and when it's more summery out, in the mornings after work. Otherwise, we just get a bit of time after chow during the week.

Being outside all day and playing is so much better for them, being a working breed and all. Normally, they'd both be pestering the shit outta me whilst I was doing my writing here, but now? Right now they're both knocked the fuck out. :tongue: And we'll all sleep good tonight, for sure. (Last night was wonderful... we were all so tired!)

Tomorrow's the last day. Le sigh.
I'm glad you had some nice weather days & were able to enjoy those with the pups! But boooo. Sorry your vacation time is over. :unsure: I guess having the things we want only sometimes helps us to appreciate them more when we get them. That's of no comfort to you right now though :angry: I'M SORRY

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Ok, thank you![/QUOTE

You're quite welcome.

I mean he did beat people to death with his naily bat so he was a bit of a murdery douche canoe but meh, MINOR DETAILS... :shocked::laughing: I didn't read the comics though, so maybe his character was portrayed differently on the show. He is funny & has his sweet moments, thus the confusion. That is how a character is well written. Rides that fine line btwn lovable bad guy. Those are my favorite. Yes the guy that plays him does a great job HUBBA HUBBA :smug:
Well. Yeah. It seems contradictory, for sure. But he didn't do such thing without cause or reason. He understands people and knows how to work them. He's hella smart and tactical. The killings and maimings happened when someone broke rules (or attacked the group) and he's smart enough to know that a very public, very brutal display gets people attention and sticks with them a while. It's not very nice, it's not very civil... but it is extremely effective.

Is it the way I would go about things? No... but I totally get why he does what he does.

His character is the same in the comics... he's just more hysterical because of his language (which is always profane), his sarcasm and the way he reacts to things. There is back story (for both) that let you know he was a high school gym teacher (he is good with kids and seems to genuinely like them) and he loved his wife (but cheated on her) and she got the big C and died. Making him all sorts of regrets. His bat, Lucille, is named after her... which is why he's so protective of it.

I was so glad when they picked Jeffrey Dean Morgan to play him. Been watching his career, here and there for a while and I thought he was pretty perfect for the role... and he has turned out to be just the right fit.

Also, if I a movie was being done about me, I would want JDM to portray me. We are (generally) of the same features and we are of an age. The biggest differences are he's taller and less muscular and has less gray hair on the head and more gray hair in the beard. I'm (a bit) older, shorter, stockier, more muscular and way, way grayer... but my beard isn't snow yet.

Ok well let's see how far I get with doing zero violences & murderses PROBABLY NOT FAR but we shall see. *Struts into game trying to talk to everyone & hug bad guys, gets murdered in .005 seconds*
Bigby doesn't do murders (unless you make him), he's the sheriff... he's trying to solve the murders. But... he is Bigby Wolf, so... he can be very aggressive. My Bigby was non violent to a point. I don't care for having my chain yanked or being lied to... and neither did my Bigby. :tongue: A couple of chances to stop dicking around and after that? Well... POW, to the moon Alice! :laughing:

I did kill one of the Fables. He deserved it. *shrug*

So what I'm hearing is I should do the opposite of what I want to do. That would be fun too- to play how your gut tells you, and then play again doing the opposite. What is the goal of the game? The end? That makes a difference in decisions on how to play the game. DID YOU BECOME THE BIGGEST, BADDEST BOSS OF ALL TIME? Am I correct to envision you had a lot of people killed if you played in a practical/logical way? :eek:h:
Not necessarily. Basically, what I'm saying is that most of the people made decisions backed by their feelings and I made them based on logic. People enjoy their feels, even if their feels are actually detrimental in some (or many) ways. I'm not guided by emotion, so... yeah. :cool:

Well, of course I was the biggest baddest Wolf! I'm the only Wolf! I have a reputation to maintain, damn it! I huffed 'n puffed and blew down the pigs' house, I ate granny and... did I eat Little Red Riding Hood? I don't even know. (The woodsman made me pay!) The wolf is not a friend in fairy tales.

Just killed one person. Well, two technically. They both deserved it though. Well... three, now that I think about it. But one was a mercy killing... kind of... so yeah.

Jesus, my death toll keeps climbing! :cool:

I'm glad you had some nice weather days & were able to enjoy those with the pups! But boooo. Sorry your vacation time is over. :unsure: I guess having the things we want only sometimes helps us to appreciate them more when we get them. That's of no comfort to you right now though :angry: I'M SORRY
Yeah. It was good times. And you know what? The weather hasn't been that nice since then. We've not go to play outside in the evenings or even in the mornings. Too cool and it's been gray and dreary. Tonight it was rain... it's supposed to storm overnight. So... that makes it seem less bad. Sorta.

I makes me desire retirement (from this job) and something new so so much. The problems with that are my age (nobody wants to hire someone who's creepy up to 60) and the jobs I could get pay about... 1/3 to 1/2 of what I make. And I'm not rolling in dough, either. I can't take that kind of pay cut and keep my house and support my mom. So... I'm quite stuck at the moment, sadly.

I should've been smart and left when all my friends did 10-12 yrs ago. But nooooooo... idiot. But I am too hard myself. I do kick myself for not leaving back then. But back then, I didn't have any idea how bad it would get. The place went from a pretty decent, fun place to work to being an absolute shit hole.

So. There ya go. A ray of sunshine I am! :wink:


I was so tired when I came home from work. I'm not used to being awake all day long and then working all night long. Remind me to try not to do that again any time soon. It was the migraine thing. I slept all evening/all night and then when I woke up yesterday morning... well, all day I couldn't sleep because I'd already slept so much. I tried... just didn't happen.

And thusly, last night sucked ass. But I did survive, so there's that.

Came home and hung out with the pups on the patio for about ten minutes. Let them run about for a few minutes, do their business and all that. And then? We went to bed. Well... we went to the couch. I went to sleep and they did whatever they did whilst I was sleeping. I do this because it's just too cruel to take them out of their crates in my mom's room, after they've been in them all night and put them right back in for another eight or so hours right after. That's just not even nice.

So, I sleep on the couch and they play with their toys, or snuggle with me, or chew their bones or whatever... and then when I wake up (usually around 1030-11a), we go outside again for a few minutes, then off to bed. The wee pup sleeps with me, but the big pup sleeps in his crate. I'd like him to sleep with me, but he won't lie down and go to sleep. Walks all over me, sits on me... and gets off the bed to see what he can get into... so, he has to do the crate. He doesn't seem to mind, either. The wee pup figured out early on that if he wants to stay in bed (not in his crate) he has to lie down and be still and STAY ON THE BED. So, he's really good!

When it gets warmer... they'll have 3 to 4 hours of play time outside... running and playing and having fun, before we go to bed. And then probably another 2-3 hrs of the same in the evenings before I have to go work. Much more activity when it's warm outside.

I'm ready for nicer weather, yo. Seriously.

Leave you with this... Doobie Brothers


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I love this clip... the bond between brothers.

I have an extremely tight bond with my brother. But... it's not like this bond. It's not like a lot of brother bonds. And it's not for the simple fact that my brother is twelve years younger than I am. There's never been any competition. There haven't been fights (and rarely even disagreements, to be honest)... none of that kind of normal brother stuff.

Because how? I mean... when I was a senior in high school, he was in kindergarten. What am I competing with him for? He's a baby. I've nothing to disagree with him about and we're most definitely not fighting for obvious reasons. He was too far behind for that kind of a brother bond.

And that's sad. But not sad. My bond with my lil brother is more paternal. Even now. I mean... even now, even though he's going to be fourty four years old in a week and half and even though he is a father himself... if someone put hands to him? I'd fucking kill them. That... bond of protection is so very strong because he is so much younger than I am.

Our banter is playful and sarcastic... but it's not like Sam & Nate's banter. There's no negative, even in joking... because there wasn't that when we were growing up, yeah?

There is nothing like the bond of brothers, regardless of the age gap. (or because of it, as it were) I suppose the same could be said for sisters, but I don't really know... how could I?

Anyway... off to hopefully get some time in the yard with the puppos! First time in like... two weeks!

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Employers want to make sure people are doing their jobs. And, yes... it is intrusive and no, I don't agree with it.

But on my job, we've been dealing with this for a while now. We just don't work at home. First came the "snitch" software... are you doing this, are you not doing that... when and how often. IT tracks everything... line staff are forced to use archaic DOS based email so the agency & IT have total control, always. They watch everything you do on every pc.

And then a while back we got new cameras. And instead of placing them where the old cameras were, so as best to see what inmates are doing, the moved them all to right in front of the staff desk on each unit and pointed them from the hallway into central control. They've no concern at all about what inmates are doing, just what they can catch staff doing or not doing, as the case may be.

And there are cameras everywhere. Everywhere.

It sucks feeling like you're under constant surveillance. You're hyper aware of everything you do, because it's all on camera.

Oh... and our director (or any administrator) can not only pull up any camera from their office, but also from their home. So, if they're having insomnia or whatever, they can just pull up your unit and watch you.

This (and many other reasons) are why I love my job so much.

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Back to it tonight. I really don't want to and yet...

Le sigh.

I remember when people at my age were retired. And had pensions. Those days are gone... and it'll likely get worse, rather than better. Some folks want you push that retirement age up into the 70s, you know. Cuz... why not. Take take take your money from you, then give you a wee little smidge of a percentage in your last few years of life.

Seems fair.

I, of course, am just annoyed because of this job. Though I would rather not work at all anymore (I think 40 yrs or working is plenty, really) I'm not fundamentally opposed to it. There are, in fact, things I'd wouldn't mind doing at all. Though, getting at any of those jobs at this point in time seems to be somewhere to be slim and zed, sooooooo...

I also remember when people kept their politics to themselves. I mean, seriously... folks took that keeping it close to the vest shit pretty damn seriously. You didn't ask people who they voted for... and they wouldn't have told you if you did. Now it's like a goddamn constant pep rally... t-shirts and hats and flags and all kinda crazy shit.

Every. Single. Post. on social media has one or more dumb fucks blasting something political. It could be two puppies playing and someone would blast some politics on it. It's exhausting and fucking annoying. Jesus Christ, already.

I think we should go back to keeping that shit under our hat. That'd suit me just fine.

Work is... ugh. I mean, it's easy peasy right now, of course. But it's so damn boring. And it's the same shit day after day after day... because I only work a unit. I don't get any break from the monotony. The only person on my shift that spends 5 days a week on the unit. Every week. Day after day. Because... yeah.

Most of last rotation and probably most of this rotation, this is how it's been. So, like... 8, 9 months already? It's getting fucking old.

I did manage to get more into that book. Whatever it's called. Something about Crows... Six from the Crow? Something like that. it's not bad, I just had to sit and let myself get into it, I guess. Still... if I didn't finish it, it'd not hurt my feelings, either.

If I thought I could get a good hot spot signal on the unit and that my tablet could deal with it all, I'd do some courses online. But, I know that my phone doesn't get shit for reception on the unit and my tablet is old as shit, so I'm not sure how well, that'd do. I guess I could always try and see what happens.

Maybe I'll have a go look. It seems like the Google IT certification thing (or whatever) is available from Coursera (or whatever that's called) Maybe I'll look at that. Just for giggles. I just don't think it would be very interesting for me nor do I think it would really help me get out of my job situation, either. Most people here that hire IT want folks with 4 yr degrees, not a Google cert.

Ha. Just looked at EdX... nothing there is free anymore. Bummer. Well, yeah... but you don't get graded or anything. What's the fun in that? I wanna know I rocked the fucking course! That makes me sad. Guess I won't be doing that then. Oh well. It was fun whilst it lasted, I guess.

Well... guess I'm going to go off and do some gaming. Just started A Plague Tale; Innocence. Damn game stresses me out! It's stealthy, for one thing, and I'm so not good at being stealthy in a game. And yeah... made me jump half out my skin last night. Guess that's what I get for wearing headphones, eh? :tongue:


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One down...

Last night actually passed fairly quickly. Once I got past that 0100 hour, it blazed along at a pretty good clip. And that's awesome. I went back to playing Townsmen or whatever it's called on the tablet. Older city building game. It's not difficult, but it gives my wee little brain something to do besides think about how badly I don't want to be there.

Slept well and all that. Must've been more tired than I thought as I laid down on the couch after breakfast to nap whilst the pups played or whatever and then next thing I know, it's 1p and my mom woke me up. (She'd come down to do the laundry, didn't expect to be assaulted by two dogs as soon as she opened the door!) Got up then and went back to sleep.

I usually can't sleep on my couch (it's futon) that long anymore because the mattress (14 yrs old) is going to shit, finally. It's a 9" spring mattress, so it was so comfy when I got it back in the day and it's still passable now, but not really for sleeping on. Maybe if I were 16 and sleeping on it, it'd be ok... but I'm 56... and it's not ok. For long periods of time, at least.

So the fact that my body did not wake me up suggests that I was pretty spent. I did get up earlier than normal yesterday, but I didn't feel particularly sleepy when I came home. Hungry? Yes... I was that, for sure, but not sleepy really.

I ate pepper poppers for breakfast. You know... fried, cream cheese filled jalepenos? Yes. That. That's what I chose to eat for breakfast this morning. And yes, I do realize that's a bit weird. Also realize that my breakfast is at the end of the day, so not as weird when you look at it that way. Not that it matters... if I'd just woke up and it was first thing in the morning, I'd still eat 'em.

I prefer regular food to breakfast food and always have.

A chow place in Texas let me order a chili cheese burger for breakfast whilst we were on vacation once. I didn't want to eat anything on the breakfast menu at all, so I told my dad I was going to ask to see if I could have a chili cheese burger instead. He told me that no way were these people going to make me a chili cheese burger for breakfast, since it wasn't on the breakfast menu.

He was wrong. :tongue:

Of course you can, sweetheart! That was the waitress's reply and... I got my chili cheese burger. Open faced burger smothered in chili, cheese and onions! It was so, so good. My dad was so grossed out, he made me sit at a different table. :laughing: (The place was dead... I don't recall there be anyone else in the place at the time.)

Also proves you shouldn't make assumptions and it never hurts to ask, eh?

I have a long weekend this week... so it's just a matter of getting there. No plans for the weekend, despite it being a holiday and my dad & lil bro's birthdays happen during this weekend as well. Everyone's still staying to themselves. My parents (and my dad's girlfriend) being elderly and what not and my baby niece being a baby... and the rest of us being "essential" workers...

It's just... yeah. Not much hanging out at all. So... I dunno what I'll do. Probably just chill with the pups or something.

I don't think my July 4th holiday days off are going to be approved. I asked for July 4 & 5 off... and have yet to hear anything about it yet. The other days off I've requested for July have already been approved, soooooooooo...

Not good tidings, me thinks.

I'm not even sure there will be a July 4th at this point, anyway. I mean there will be, obviously, but... I don't know about celebrations and parades and fireworks and all that stuff. Things being as they are. That would make me sad... but I could live with the cancellation. I'll be fucking pissed if it happens and I have to work, though.

Oh well. Won't be a damn thing I can do about it, soooooooo...

Ooohhh... if Todd ever gets off modified duty, perhaps I can schedule my oral surgery for that week? Take it as medical, which they can't deny. Hmmmmm... seems like that might be a good plan. A good plan, indeed. Though it'll suck being in pain, I suppose, but whatever. I'll have drugs. I'll have to keep checks and see what's what, I guess.

It's so boring around here and so little is happening, I really don't have a goddamn thing to write about. I mean, it's not yet all the time nice outside, there's nothing happening here, not going anywhere because of the 'rona stuff, hell... work is even quiet because Natalie's not there.

If I didn't have to go to work right now, I'd be in fucking heaven. :tongue: Lots of quiet, alone time... no fucking drama. Just peace and quiet and chill. That's how one should be able to go through life, right? With everything being chill? No bullshit? That's how I'd like to get through (what's left of my) life.

Well... think I'm going to get off (that sounded dir-tay) and go do some gaming. Get after that damn frustrating plague game. (Kinda fitting and proper to play a plague game now, innit?)

I'll leave you with the Dead South, cuz I hearts them.


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This week. Blech.

It's not terrible, really. It's just so goddamn boring. Work is feeling like more of a waste of my time than usual, which just makes me annoyed. But... it's kinda hard to complain too much when you're getting paid like... a fair bit, to daydream and like, play video games on your table or read a book, you know?

If I had more options... more things to do... I'd not complain at all. For instance, if I could bring my laptop, I could game... I could edit photos, try to figure out how the fuck to edit videos (I'm trying to branch out), write email, organize shit, write some fiction, I could do all manner of things that wouldn't seem like a waste of my time.

I hate wasting time. Hate. Time is the one thing you give away that you can't ever get back and it's finite. Right? So... sitting around, doing nothing, regardless of what I'm being paid to do it, bothers me quite a lot. Every week, it's forty hours taken from my life... and, though I'm not yet counting the days, as it were, I am very aware that I'm on the downhill slide whereas life is concerned.

What's left of my life is probably just about as many years as I've worked this job... so... downhill, indeed.

Or I could die tomorrow, yeah? And then what was all that wasted time good for?

Life. Such a conundrum sometimes, innit?

I told Isaiah that it was very quiet with Natalie not around (and Rita for that matter, but just for sheer volume sake) and he said that everyone's been saying that ever since she left off on her extended days off. He said no bitching, no whining, no crying, no stomping around, none of that.

It's the truth, though. It's a strange thing because she's outside of work, she's not like that. When she first started, she was not like that. But... something happened. It's the job, I know... but goddamn.

It's not just her. The job changes some people and not for the good, either. Some more than others, I'd say hers is a pretty extreme case (though I've seen worse)...

There was a lady that worked there when I started, Sarah. Sarah started working for my agency the same year I was in 6th grade. Now... there was a lot going on with Sarah, besides supreme laziness, but goddamn. And... she was an untouchable. Meaning that, no matter what she did, if you reported her... administration took her side.

Turned her in for sleeping. Admin's reply? She's meditating, leave her alone.
Not doing any of her assigned tasks. Admin's reply? If the work isn't done, it's on you, that's teamwork.

Not even kidding. Sarah meditated so hard that she snored. She refused to do pretty much any work at all and what she liked to do (court paperwork and what not) she horribly fucked up so that one of the rest of us would not only have to do our paperwork then next night, but also redo all of hers. She picked fights with the kids (made faces at the from behind my back once) and was just a huge pain in the ass to work with.

But... I think mental illness was also a thing. She thought she was an actress and that she was pretty much Barbra Streisand (the only thing she and Babs had in common was being Jews, trust me on that), she showered with her sons until the oldest was 10 yrs old. Her sons were 16 & 13 and still had a babysitter... she wouldn't allow her oldest son to walk one block down the street to the convenience store by himself. She believed her dog could talk and that she was psychic.

So... yeah. Nutter.

Anyway... I feel like rambling more, but the clock on the wall says I must go waste some time, soooooooooo...

Indeed it does.

8,467 Posts
It frustrates me no end to see modern scholars continually denying and dismissing any socioeconomic or "MaRxIsT" approach to understanding ancient politics and economics.

They, meaning the ancient writers, were eyewitnesses who survived revolutions and violent uprisings in their own cities, and their analysis of the phenomenon plainly and unanimously identifies property ownership and debt-bondage slavery as the singular cause for the revolutions they witnessed. On what qualification and under what authority are modern scholars then permitted to overturn somebody like Aristotle or Thucydides?

To my mind, rejection of these "Marxist interpretations" of the issues simply speaks to the political biases of the people who deny them, such as Ernst Badian. It is as much an absurdity and a fantasy for a 20th or 21st century writer to challenge the words of somebody who actually lived through it, as it is for a private to dictate campaign strategy to the high command.

Well, Badian is a bit more than a private. I'm a private. I'm not a civilian, I have joined this game; I enlisted to join the army of history writers and I hold the lowest rank in the hierarchy at present. All those who deny Marxism are like, sergeants or something (Badian being such an august figure might be a little more than a sergeant too, maybe he was a lieutenant); non-commissioned officers, whilst the ancient writers are the high command. They're not infallible, just as no high command is infallible - that's not my point. Yes, they make mistakes, and yes, their judgement isn't correct, probably most of the time. But they have the stripes, so you follow what they say because they outrank you, and if you don't like it it's time to look for another profession because there's no army in the world that tolerates insubordination, mutiny, or desertion. That's how it works. In any case, no sergeant who works in a coherent army dares to question the orders and the words issued to him by his commanding officer. The exception would appear to be the army of history writers! Historians would make for terrible soldiers

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One more after tonight and then a four day weekend.

I'll probably survive. But I still don't wanna go. Bah.

I suppose I'll be on max security tonight, which is just nonsense. Move me to that unit one day a week for no fucking reason. It's not the work, it's the change. Nothing's in the right place, the paperwork is always helter skelter cuz half a dozen people are doing it and... yeah... oh, this too... there only two outlets on the desk and they're way back in a corner. And this annoys me cuz I can't sit in the middle of the desk where you're supposed to sit. Even more so annoying that they're way off in the corner... and you know tablet power cables, I'm assuming, and they're quite often very short. So... yeah.

It's not a huge deal. It's not... but the change makes me feel... I want to say anxious, but it's not really anxiety. More of just a general feeling of being out of sorts. Like being in the same room you're always in, but everything is 30 degrees to the left. Just... off balance and not quite right.

I don't like it. I deal with it, obviously, because I'm a grown up and that's what you do. But I don't like it, even a wee bit.

I think I'll read the book tonight. I've been playing games all week, but because of the outlet/short cord situation, I'll have to wait for the battery to charge completely before I can use the tablet and then run it down and recharge it, blah, blah, blah. So, I'll probably do far more reading than messing around on the tablet tonight.

Or maybe I'll write. I've got a little something going on. Some days I don't feel like writing, though. We'll see.

Nothing went on last night. Quiet as fuck. We did get a kid to be booked in right as those of us from 1st briefing were getting ready to walk out the door. Dunno the kid (at least from the name I heard) but... he'll be with us for a while, cuz he allegedly is the suspect involved in shooting a man several times. It didn't happen locally, but he was caught here... chances are he'll stay here.

And if he does, with a charge like that in adult court? He'll be with us probably around nine months to a year. And that's just waiting to go to trial... and then, if he's convicted, he'll be carted off to prison for however long. Probably a good... 15-20 yrs, likely.

And all that, likely over next to nothing because that's usually what the shooting nonsense is about. Nothing.

Well. Their stupidity is my job security, I suppose, eh?

There is really nothing at all going on. Like... nothing. It was nice today, but I slept through it, of course. The dogs were out for a bit, but I stayed behind. I'm feeling sleepy and achy. The recent weather hasn't been entirely kind to my bones 'n shit. It's supposed to be getting better as the weekend approaches. Supposed to storm as well, cuz what's Memorial Day weekend without a good bit of rain tossed into the mix? I wouldn't know how to act!

Speaking of shootings, these are good tips.

I agree 100% with him... and have done most of this stuff myself. Particularly the whole knowing escape routes thing and having a plan. I'm a contingency planner by nature and always have been. Which, I think, is the reason I don't panic and all that fun stuff. I will get a rush of adrenaline after things have calmed down. I'll be perfectly calm and cool and in charge in a crisis and then when it's over? I'll want to run around the building 10x, fidget all over the place and fight. It's really odd, because people are like... why are you so fucking hype now, shit's all over?!?!?!

Because I can't fucking help it, that's why! *shrugs*

As I said, I'm a contingency planner by nature and I always have been. What if... is running through my head nearly all the time. It's not paranoia or fear... it's really just thinking what if. It's not like... the top of my mental processing, most of the time. Most of the time it's at the bottom and I don't really pay much attention to it, but I know it's there.

Part of this is hyper vigilance, which comes with doing the job I do. You become extremely situationally aware... I see things most other people don't pay any attention to what so ever. I see threats, everywhere. Well, that sounds very paranoid. More like I see the possibility of threats everywhere. Someone acting just a little bit off? Going to set my alarms off...

So, there's that. Personally I think most people need far far more situational awareness. People walking down the street with their eyes glued to their cell phone or babbling to their friends or daydreaming or what the hell ever. People really don't pay very much attention when they're doing their day to days, you know?

He also said something I learnt from my cousin, who was a state police officer (and now has over 50 yrs in active law enforcment) for 30 yrs. A long, long time ago when I was like... 7,8, 9 yrs old or so, he told me if want to control a person's body, you needed to take control of their head. His exact words were where the head doth go, so doth the body. I don't even remember what we were doing or talking about or whatever (wrestling, grappling or whatever, I assume) but I've never forgotten that.

Obviously, hips are good, too. And this dude's right... best to go for the largest target, or hips, if you can.

And the most important thing I think he said in this video, if you have to fight... go all in. 100%. A lot of people don't fight to win, they fight to not lose... if that makes sense? Basically, they do just barely enough to just barely survive... they've not really won the battle, necessarily, they just didn't full lose, you see? If you're in this type of situation, you need to fight to win and in a deadly force assault, that means you need to whatever you need to do to bring about the destruction of the other person. Beat, bite, kick, pinch, tear bits off, use whatever means of weapon you can get your hands on and don't stop until they're dead or near to it.

They're trying to kill you. Try to kill them back.

Oh... the one part where he mentioned that if you're going to fight and you recruit some peeps to fight with you, you need to have a plan, like who's getting the gun and who's getting the person, which is so true. The boy and I were at IHOP a couple years or so ago and a young guy walked in... dressed nicely, not like in gang banger attire or anything, but he was behaving oddly. He didn't wait to get seated, was wandering around the seating area with his hands in his jacket pockets...

It just set off all our bells and whistles, let's say. So, we watch this guy. Then we look at each other. Then we watch him some more. Then a moment or two later my nephew looks at me and says "I got the gun, you got the guy". Just like that. There's the plan. And, as it turns out the guy didn't do anything. My guess he is that maybe he was looking for something or someone. I mean, at first I thought he might've left his phone, but he didn't just look in one spot, which is why it was weird... hands in pockets. I don't much like hands in pockets, especially when you're being weird enough to set off alarm bells in two different people. Seriously.


I have no idea.

I always write these posts assuming nobody's reading them. Which, the interesting part of that is that a few times, maybe four or five in the more recent past, I'll get a dm from someone... someone who's never commented or liked anything I've written ever... telling me they enjoy what I write or like my writing style or whatever and I'm always a bit taken aback by that. It's really not what I expect. I expect I'm just writing here, kinda like talking to myself... but in public via written word. And I don't particularly care if anyone reads it or not. I mean, I write like I'm writing to someone but mostly I'm writing to organize my own thoughts. *shrugs*

I blogged for several years, starting back in like... 97 or 98 or something. Back before blogging was really even a thing. I blogged for... probably a good 15 yrs or so? Until the blogging site I used bellied up... you know, the Book of Face, Insta and all that other stuff coming into play... killed a lot of those first blogging hosts, which is unfortunate.

I have all my blogs. Maybe I'll share some bits of them some day. Mostly, it's work related stuff because I was blogging that to blow of steam and all that nonsense. Again, I wrote to myself and people started coming a long and following me or whatever. I don't recall how many people were following me at the end, somewhere between 300-500 people... but yeah.

I tried moving to another blogging site, but... the whole thing just sorta petered out. It still exists, though I can't say how long it's been since I've been there. Probably five or so years.

The followers that I was the closest to over all those years kept in touch via other social media, primarily Twitter. Some of those have fallen off over the years, too, which is sad. A lot of them were teenagers 20 whatever years ago and as they grew up, they kinda peeled off and went their own way. It is kind of sad, when you spend years interacting with someone and they just sorta... fall away, but such is the nature of life.

I have maybe 10 or 12 pop in from time to time. Maybe a year goes by, maybe three... but one day there they are. And a few that are constants... then and now. It's cool and somewhat weird at the same time. I've been through a lot of shit with some of these people and I've never met them. And that's odd, but it's all good.

Some of those people are other INTJs... I blogged as an INTJ before there were forums for such things. Some of them are autistic (HFA) and some have other health items. All of them are dog lovers. (You expect anything less?) So... yeah.

Blogging was a lot of fun whilst it lasted.

Anyway, it's about that time. This song was playing on my mp3 player on the way to work last night. (Yes, I knew it was there, but there are a metric shit tons of songs in that thing, I forget about some of them!) I am not a big fan of the... what I think is an electric sitar? I like the sitar, but this fucking this is too loud.

Quite popular when I was a kid, this song.

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I was messing around on my profile because I had a hunch that my settings were allowing everything that once was private, not to be private any longer... Sure enough, I had to change everything back. Then, I saw I had these random “ Points “ and “ Trophies.” Very peculiar and off putting to see these false praises.

“ Somebody likes you “ 🤣

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