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I don't know that there's a right or wrong answer to this. Each situation is unique. And I'm certainly not the person who should be answering. I have little patience with victim mentality. It's one of my pet-peeves. I will empathize with a person initially, but if the behavior continues over a long stretch of time, and no efforts are made to learn from a situation & move on/grow, I quickly become irritated. I often get a little more forward & direct at this point to try to push them. Sometimes they respond well, sometimes they do not. 😬 I just don't see value in complaining about the same crap over & over & not doing anything to fix it. At some point you become an enabler if you continue to feed into it. Sorry this was wordy & not at all succinct.
 

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yes. i think people who behave like victims are just predators that feed on pity
I think that’s a bit extreme. It may be the case for some people, but certainly not all. And if that is the case, don’t you wonder how they got there? That in itself triggers empathy within me for them. They are that way for a reason. Some people don’t seem to know how to behave any differently.
 

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I think that’s a bit extreme. It may be the case for some people, but certainly not all. And if that is the case, don’t you wonder how they got there? That in itself triggers empathy within me for them. They are that way for a reason. Some people don’t seem to know how to behave any differently.
what if the reason they don't know how to behave differently is because everyone keeps treating them with care and empathy if they act like victims? no incentive to change
 

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what if the reason they don't know how to behave differently is because everyone keeps treating them with care and empathy if they act like victims? no incentive to change
Completely agree. Thus the enabling bit. In that case, firmness is showing love.

There’s just so much grey area. What if it is literally all they’ve known their whole lives? I know a few parents who are totally screwing up their kids. They perceive themselves as victims in life, and are rearing their children to think the same. The kids are little shits because they’ve been raised to believe they can do no wrong. In those situations, I am sad for the kids. They have been trained to behave a certain way. They don’t know any other way. They will suck at life as adults.

Childhood trauma is another fine line. Just so much grey area.
 

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Completely agree. Thus the enabling bit. In that case, firmness is showing love.

There’s just so much grey area. What if it is literally all they’ve known their whole lives? I know a few parents who are totally screwing up their kids. They perceive themselves as victims in life, and are rearing their children to think the same. The kids are little shits because they’ve been raised to believe they can do no wrong. In those situations, I am sad for the kids. They have been trained to behave a certain way. They don’t know any other way. They will suck at life as adults.
i do not feel pity i just wonder if people that rely on it are inevitable because it is a very powerful social tool. when life is tough people don't have time to be victims. they adapt or die. pity has no value. when times are easy people get lazy and can afford to wallow in 1st world problems

so does a more comfortable society encourage weaker character?
 

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I have been watching 100 Humans on Netflix while I run, it's kind of interesting. Annoying because it's a big fat joke from a scientific standpoint, but the idea is intriguing. They run multiple "experiments" with the 100 humans that deal with various topics. One of them is about human bias. They ran a test on that episode where they gave the humans a fake gun & told them to shoot the bad guys, basically. People would stand up & point either a cell phone or a gun at the humans. One of them involved a white guy & a black guy both holding a cell phone. The black guy (whom they even knew as he was a member of staff) overhwelmingly got shot. They had the two guys switch positions, in case it was just a natural inclination to go a certain direction, but it didn't matter. Didn't matter who the "humans" were that were shooting either, most races, ages & sexes shot the black guy first.

I could find a much more reliable (actual) study than that I'm sure 🥴, but that's what I'm watching right now so your post triggered me to it. It's interesting to note how much people just shot like crazy too. Their first reaction when someone popped up was often just "shoot". I do not think majority of humans are emotionally equipped to properly handle a high-stress situation. Your mention of being emotionally triggered by what people were saying- that's an interesting thought as well. I imagine emotional people are the worst ones for a job in law enforcement. I know I would 😁 🖕 😜🖕😜:cool:🖕be awful. I would probably cry like a big ninny if people were yelling at me 🥺😱🙃. Internally though. I KEEP THAT SHIT LOCKED DOWN. :giggle: As much as I hate it, words have a lot of power to hurt me. Though on the other hand, I view empathy as a strength in certain circumstances so being "emotional" isn't always necessarily bad I guess. Idk. I'm going to run off into my corner to ponder this some more.

UNRELATED SIDE TOPIC THAT YOU DON'T GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT: I just finished the 4th Hunger Games book. It was interesting given the state we are in right now in the US. The underlying themes of those books really deal with the ideas of freedom/control/chaos/order/human behavior when stripped bare/role of "civilization". Got my brain going 5000mph. That is all. No point to me adding this paragraph, really 😆. Just engrossing ideas to think about.
I'll have to check that show out at some point. Maybe next month when I'm not working so much! I took a class called The Science of Every Day Thinking which well, was just exactly what it says. It did not include racial bias, but it did give a lot of insight as to how we become biased and how long some of that has been implanted into our wee little brains. Some bias is ancient from way back in our lizard brains and some things are learnt more recently. It was an interesting class. I enjoyed it.

Being calm and restrained are good traits for law enforcement. However, there are other traits that are good traits, that can become bad traits. People talk about cops having swagger... because a lot of them do. That's confidence. You need to be a confident person to work in any aspect of law enforcement. You can't be timid, shy, scared... that's not going to work out well for you. Confidence is good... the problem is sometimes confidence becomes arrogance and that's not a good trait for law enforcement. I know several downright arrogant cops in our local jurisdiction and that are absolutely horrible to deal with... even for us. Imagine what it's like to be dealing with them as a civilian? They are fucking assholes. I do not like them. I don't pretend to like them. I don't tolerate that bullshit. Ever.

In our old building, there was a small vestibule in booking where the officers came in and out with new kids to be booked in. The first door was key lock (from the inside) and then you were in the vestibule and had to wait for staff to go back to the book desk and buzz you out.

So, one time this cop comes in... he is a blazing fucking asshole the entire time he's there. I don't say a word. Don't argue with him, don't fall into his nonsense at all. Talk to him all nice and shit. Was super duper polite.

And then I let him in the vestibule... then went back into booking to start processing the kid.

Oh... did I mention that I didn't buzz the cop out? Not even when he started banging on the door? I didn't let him out until dispatch called me asked if I could please let their officer out of our building.

😁🖕😜🖕😎🖕

This bias against people of color is taught. Children do not have bias until they're taught to have it. And it doesn't have to be someone outright saying you should hate black (Latinos, etc) people, they are lesser. They're surrounded by things that imply that without ever saying a word.

Jane Elliott's blue eye/brown eye experiment (and learning excersize) turns the tables a bit. I think her experiment should be taught in all schools. Some people don't understand until they are put into the situation themselves.


And the Stanford Prison Experiment (Google!) shows how people can get ugly when they have power over others. Which is where law enforcement and corrections need to be careful. When you deal with a certain group of people (not necessarily minorities) over and over and over and over again... it can wear on you. It can feed into biases you may not have even known you had and it makes people jaded. Once you feed into that bias and look at people through jaded eyes, it's not a difficult to understand how this can move onto abuse of power such as excessive force and other such things.

The dealio is that it's more complex than people would like to think it is. It's not an easy fix. Some people cling to their biases with death grips. They don't want to let go because it feels to them like they're losing their power. It comes down to power and feeling superior in the end, really.

~~~

It's the days off. Woo hoo. I think RN wants me to come over tomorrow. I'm not sure about that. I want to, sorta, but I sorta don't want to and today I didn't feel very well and mom doesn't feel well, either. I didn't feel terrible, mind you. I had that weird feeling you can sometimes get in your throat before you have a sore throat? I dunno... maybe it's just me, but sometimes I get like a... pre sore throat, where it doesn't really hurt, but it just feels weird, like it could start hurting about any time. I had some food and laid down to rest because my PF was killing me and I was tired and it was too cool to go outside straight away this morning.

And then once I feel asleep, I was done for. A bit sniffly/stuffy and, well... I'm not a napping person. I can't take a nap, unless that nap is fixing to be 6 to 8 hrs, at least. I can't get up after sleeping an hour or three. I'll die. So... 1) I didn't wake up much and 2) when I did, I was tired and gross feeling so just went back to sleep.

And my mom doesn't feel well. She said she thought she had a fever and stuff. She didn't eat anything and just went to bed. I had a delicious turkey breast sandwich with fluffy homemade wheat bread. So goddamn good. And that's pretty much my day. I could've gone out with the boys after I got up but I just wasn't feeling it. Tomorrow. Because I doubt I'll go to RN's... especially if my mom doesn't feel well, as we've only got one vehicle right now, so if I leave she's got no way to go to urgent care or anything. And my sis & bil went on a little drive and ended up in South Dakota, of all places. I told them to go to these one cabins I've stayed in before and that's where they are. Cool place. Frontier Cabins in Wall, SD.

So, basically if my mom doesn't feel well tomorrow and I leave there's nobody around to help her out or take her into the doc or urgent care or whatever. And there's no guarantee that I'll feel well tomorrow either. I hope I don't have some stupid cold or some shit. I fucking hate being sick and I was really sick over the winter and that should be enough for the rest of the year, so far as I'm concerned.

I suppose I should go do something. No idea what. Lie about, perhaps. Maybe game. I dunno.

Anybody else excited about this?


Also... only eight more days until The Last of Us 2. Huzzah!
 

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Oh. I forgot. I was peeping the schedule at work and guess what? My leave request for the July 4th holiday is 2/3rds approved. They now have the schedule marked with me off on July 4 & 5... now they just have to get the 6th approved and that will be what I requested.

I have to say that I'm quite surprised. I really did not think I would get the 4th off. The 5th & 6th maybe, but not the 4th.

And even more surprising? Rita also got the 4th off. I was surprised as fuck that I got it off... even more surprised that she also got it off. (I'm first, seniority and all) I mean, like... wow, man. Trippy.

I will be bummed if I don't get the 6th of, but not mad. I mean... with the 4th & 5th approved, I have a four day weekend every week in July. Can't really complain about that, can you? Well... yeah, you can. But why?

July is going to be awesome. 🏴‍☠️
 

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so does a more comfortable society encourage weaker character?
I think so, absolutely. I don't even know what direction to go with this thought, there's a million points to made on that idea.


i do not feel pity i just wonder if people that rely on it are inevitable because it is a very powerful social tool. when life is tough people don't have time to be victims. they adapt or die. pity has no value. when times are easy people get lazy and can afford to wallow in 1st world problems
I can't stop the pity, it's always there. For anyone & everyone. Has potential to make me part of the problem, I guess.

I'm having a hard time narrowing down my thoughts. Can take it in so many directions- history, psychology, politics, status.

Do you really think it's a powerful social tool? I see those that have a victim mindset as isolating themselves. It's a sad life.

Overall I certainly agree with what you're saying. I see this especially where I live, which is America. It just also triggers further thought. How do you define, "when life is tough"? Who gets to decide what the standard of "tough" is? Entering the world poor? Hungry? Being abused? Does one who is raised in a wealthy home in a thriving country but experiences sexual abuse from a young age have it better than a child in Haiti having only rice & dirt to eat for sustenance? How do you define "easy times"?

Idk. Life is just a giant pendulum. All across the board. One extreme to the next. Man strives to prosper, man prospers, man falls. Repeat. Though again, what one difines as "prospering" varies from person to person as well.
 

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I'll have to check that show out at some point. Maybe next month when I'm not working so much! I took a class called The Science of Every Day Thinking which well, was just exactly what it says. It did not include racial bias, but it did give a lot of insight as to how we become biased and how long some of that has been implanted into our wee little brains. Some bias is ancient from way back in our lizard brains and some things are learnt more recently. It was an interesting class. I enjoyed it.

Being calm and restrained are good traits for law enforcement. However, there are other traits that are good traits, that can become bad traits. People talk about cops having swagger... because a lot of them do. That's confidence. You need to be a confident person to work in any aspect of law enforcement. You can't be timid, shy, scared... that's not going to work out well for you. Confidence is good... the problem is sometimes confidence becomes arrogance and that's not a good trait for law enforcement. I know several downright arrogant cops in our local jurisdiction and that are absolutely horrible to deal with... even for us. Imagine what it's like to be dealing with them as a civilian? They are fucking assholes.
Oh crap NOW I'M PANICKING IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW & DON'T LIKE IT. It was an ok show. Concept was interesting, hosts were funny but also they annoyed me, experiments were flawed AHHHhhhHHhhh JUST DON'T WATCH IT, OK 😱😅. That class sounds like a super interesting one, I need to get my hiners back into school.

Yes, there is a huge difference btwn confidence & arrogance. It's a fine line that few seem able to manage & keep in check. I could definitely see that confidence can be the difference btwn life or death in many situations. I think it's what separates those who act & handle stressful situations & those (me 😭) that crumble into a giant heap of uselessness.


I do not like them. I don't pretend to like them. I don't tolerate that bullshit. Ever.

In our old building, there was a small vestibule in booking where the officers came in and out with new kids to be booked in. The first door was key lock (from the inside) and then you were in the vestibule and had to wait for staff to go back to the book desk and buzz you out.

So, one time this cop comes in... he is a blazing fucking asshole the entire time he's there. I don't say a word. Don't argue with him, don't fall into his nonsense at all. Talk to him all nice and shit. Was super duper polite.

And then I let him in the vestibule... then went back into booking to start processing the kid.

Oh... did I mention that I didn't buzz the cop out? Not even when he started banging on the door? I didn't let him out until dispatch called me asked if I could please let their officer out of our building.

😁🖕😜🖕😎🖕
Bahahaha Well played SUCK IT, BIIIATCH

This bias against people of color is taught. Children do not have bias until they're taught to have it. And it doesn't have to be someone outright saying you should hate black (Latinos, etc) people, they are lesser. They're surrounded by things that imply that without ever saying a word.

Jane Elliott's blue eye/brown eye experiment (and learning excersize) turns the tables a bit. I think her experiment should be taught in all schools. Some people don't understand until they are put into the situation themselves.


And the Stanford Prison Experiment (Google!) shows how people can get ugly when they have power over others.
Right, completely agree. It is pretty pathetic how long it's taking to go away. That racism is still such a thing after so many years.

Ohhhh a social experiment :love: going to take the dog for a run, I will watch that you-tube video later! I'm pretty sure I've read about the Stanford Prison Experiment before but I can't remember the details, my memory is shat. I will look it up again.

Which is where law enforcement and corrections need to be careful. When you deal with a certain group of people (not necessarily minorities) over and over and over and over again... it can wear on you. It can feed into biases you may not have even known you had and it makes people jaded. Once you feed into that bias and look at people through jaded eyes, it's not a difficult to understand how this can move onto abuse of power such as excessive force and other such things.

The dealio is that it's more complex than people would like to think it is. It's not an easy fix. Some people cling to their biases with death grips. They don't want to let go because it feels to them like they're losing their power. It comes down to power and feeling superior in the end, really.

Agree, I can completely see this. It makes sense. I've seen it even just in the classroom as a teacher. Which seems like a far stretch to put the two in the same category, but the idea is there. Moreso dealing with certain types of parents. (Eg: My kid can do no wrong. Hard to separate the kids from their parents sometimes & treat them the same as others, unfortunately. Creates baises & makes one jaded over time. Anyway, silly comparison.)

Definitely not an easy fix. Everyone has biases. Some are just more willing to recognize/accept it & work to fix it than others. Interesting take that it has to do with power & feelings of superiority. I need to think on that idea.



It's the days off. Woo hoo. I think RN wants me to come over tomorrow. I'm not sure about that. I want to, sorta, but I sorta don't want to and today I didn't feel very well and mom doesn't feel well, either. I didn't feel terrible, mind you. I had that weird feeling you can sometimes get in your throat before you have a sore throat? I dunno... maybe it's just me, but sometimes I get like a... pre sore throat, where it doesn't really hurt, but it just feels weird, like it could start hurting about any time.
Hello yes, this is me every day always.

I had some food and laid down to rest because my PF was killing me and I was tired and it was too cool to go outside straight away this morning.

And then once I feel asleep, I was done for. A bit sniffly/stuffy and, well... I'm not a napping person. I can't take a nap, unless that nap is fixing to be 6 to 8 hrs, at least. I can't get up after sleeping an hour or three. I'll die. So... 1) I didn't wake up much and 2) when I did, I was tired and gross feeling so just went back to sleep.

And my mom doesn't feel well. She said she thought she had a fever and stuff. She didn't eat anything and just went to bed. I had a delicious turkey breast sandwich with fluffy homemade wheat bread. So goddamn good. And that's pretty much my day. I could've gone out with the boys after I got up but I just wasn't feeling it. Tomorrow. Because I doubt I'll go to RN's... especially if my mom doesn't feel well, as we've only got one vehicle right now, so if I leave she's got no way to go to urgent care or anything. And my sis & bil went on a little drive and ended up in South Dakota, of all places. I told them to go to these one cabins I've stayed in before and that's where they are. Cool place. Frontier Cabins in Wall, SD.

So, basically if my mom doesn't feel well tomorrow and I leave there's nobody around to help her out or take her into the doc or urgent care or whatever. And there's no guarantee that I'll feel well tomorrow either. I hope I don't have some stupid cold or some shit. I fucking hate being sick and I was really sick over the winter and that should be enough for the rest of the year, so far as I'm concerned.

I suppose I should go do something. No idea what. Lie about, perhaps. Maybe game. I dunno.

Anybody else excited about this?


Also... only eight more days until The Last of Us 2. Huzzah!
Hope you & your mom feel better today.
 

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Do you really think it's a powerful social tool? I see those that have a victim mindset as isolating themselves. It's a sad life.
isolated yet still in your thoughts

when a species has empathy pity will always have power imo

Overall I certainly agree with what you're saying. I see this especially where I live, which is America. It just also triggers further thought. How do you define, "when life is tough"? Who gets to decide what the standard of "tough" is? Entering the world poor? Hungry? Being abused? Does one who is raised in a wealthy home in a thriving country but experiences sexual abuse from a young age have it better than a child in Haiti having only rice & dirt to eat for sustenance? How do you define "easy times"?
i think no matter who you are or what you've been through, people always work towards their own unique lifestyle and associated vices

hard times = circumstance threatens lifestyle
easy times = circumstance reinforces lifestyle
 

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Oh crap NOW I'M PANICKING IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW & DON'T LIKE IT. It was an ok show. Concept was interesting, hosts were funny but also they annoyed me, experiments were flawed AHHHhhhHHhhh JUST DON'T WATCH IT, OK 😱😅. That class sounds like a super interesting one, I need to get my hiners back into school.

Yes, there is a huge difference btwn confidence & arrogance. It's a fine line that few seem able to manage & keep in check. I could definitely see that confidence can be the difference btwn life or death in many situations. I think it's what separates those who act & handle stressful situations & those (me 😭) that crumble into a giant heap of uselessness.
lol. I was thinking about watching it anyway. I've plenty of time tonight, as I stay up all night on Fridays so I can sleep all day Saturday so I don't die at work Saturday night!

Bahahaha Well played SUCK IT, BIIIATCH
My supervisor was less than impressed when he found out, but oh well. Dude shouldn't have been such a raging dickhead. He's the only one I've ever locked up anywhere in any of our facilities. And he deserved it.

Right, completely agree. It is pretty pathetic how long it's taking to go away. That racism is still such a thing after so many years.
People like their bias and it is indeed about power and control, particularly from whites at the bottom of the totem pole, so to speak. They don't have much, but at least they're not a goddamn nigger or wetback or chink or redskin or A-Rab. Even though they're low on the totem (education, socially, financially, etc) they're still above racial minorities, they're still powerful. If you're at the bottom, you don't want to give shit up.

Ever heard someone say that <insert minority of choice> is going to take their job? It's the bottom feeders that are afraid of that... I mean, a poorly (or un) educated, poor, barely speaks English job isn't going to take my job. Or your job. Or a brain surgeon's job. As far as I'm concerned if you're afraid an immigrant who is poorly (or un) educated, speaks little or not English or what not is going to steal your job, perhaps you should've tried a little harder.

Ohhhh a social experiment :love: going to take the dog for a run, I will watch that you-tube video later! I'm pretty sure I've read about the Stanford Prison Experiment before but I can't remember the details, my memory is shat. I will look it up again.
The Stanford Prison Experiment is pretty well known. It basically shows how cruel people can be if they have power over others. That whole absolute power corrupts absolutely thing.

[QOUTE]Agree, I can completely see this. It makes sense. I've seen it even just in the classroom as a teacher. Which seems like a far stretch to put the two in the same category, but the idea is there. Moreso dealing with certain types of parents. (Eg: My kid can do no wrong. Hard to separate the kids from their parents sometimes & treat them the same as others, unfortunately. Creates baises & makes one jaded over time. Anyway, silly comparison.)[/QUOTE]

Not silly. There is bias in education as well. We've seen it in our facility. We have our own school (part of the city's public school system) with our own teachers, paras, principal, etc. We have a teacher that everyone hates. The kids skip her classes as often as they dare (they lose privileges if they skip too much, as so many of them are so far behind) and staff hates her as well.

Why? Because she's target a kid (usually a kid of color, but not always) and just ride their ass, day in and day out. And then when the kid reacts, he/she is the bad one... not her, that's been provoking and provoking. Staff try to intervene, but it's not always possible as these kids don't have the best impulse control and they can go from zero to 1000 mph very quickly.

I wish they do away with her, she's a menace.

When I was in high school (all white town, all white school at that time) the bias was based on money. Literally which side of the tracks you lived on. North = poor and therefore not worthy and South = wealthy (or wealthier) and therefore, to be admired and doted on.

It is not fun to have teachers dislike you (sometimes) or not really acknowledge your existence (commonly) just because you lived on the "wrong" side of town. It made me angry and resentful. So much ass kissing going on.

An example; Biology class was required in 10th grade. So, at my table was me, my friend (and across the street neighbor) Scott, my god kids' mom and another girl named Sue. All northers. (My god kids' mom lived on an acerage, but they were not well to do at all.) Also in the class were the superintendent's son and the former superintendent's daughter. (They were a thing, those two. Married now, for all this time.)

So, the teacher's taking questions before a quiz the next day. We sat with our hands up the entire time and were not called on even once. Completely ignored. But, the other two? He must've answered 5-10 questions each over that 45 minute period.

It was so bad and so obvious that the next day, before the quiz and whilst the teacher was out of the room, the two teacher's assistants for that class (two seniors that none of us knew well or hung out with) gave us the answers to the quiz (on the down low, of course) because, they told us, that they had been watching the day before and thought the whole situation was fucked up and unfair. They decided to help us out the best way they could think of...

Definitely not an easy fix. Everyone has biases. Some are just more willing to recognize/accept it & work to fix it than others. Interesting take that it has to do with power & feelings of superiority. I need to think on that idea.
Everyone does have bias. I don't think I have bias for race. Race isn't important to me, I'm not anymore afraid of a black man than a white man. It's not like I'm color blind... I see who they are, it just doesn't fucking matter to me. But I do have other biases... I don't think I act upon them. At least externally. It's hard to turn off the internal dialogue, though. That voice can be really fucking loud when it wants to be.

Hello yes, this is me every day always.
At least it's just not me. I don't think I'd enjoy it ever day, though. Does it feel like it's up in your ears sometimes or your sinuses? It's a weird feeling and I do not like it and I usually get a sore throat when I feel like that.

Hope you & your mom feel better today.
We're better today, thanks!

~~~

Today was a good day. I wasn't sure it was going to be. Had a headache when I woke and still felt tired. (Thanks to the wee pup thinking we should get up at like... 0500. We didn't, but he thought we should.) Had a yummy pastry and a bunch of ibuprofen for breakfast. And that improved my day.

Did errands this morning, cuz I was out of everything toiletries wise. Man cannot be running around in the 90 F heat and not have deodorant, yeah? So... did all that, bought some Guinness, too. Went to the Tractor Supply Company store to get more dog food and treats and discs for the wee pup. (I buy 3 every two weeks. They're cloth. He's great with it whilst I'm outside with him, throwing it. But by himself, he destroys them) He had one left over from last week, so that was good. I still bought three, though, cuz I know the little dude too well!

Patio perched all day after that. Until chow time. Watched tv, played games, played in the water with the big pup (the hose... big pup likes being wet, wee pup hates it!) and tossing the disc for the wee pup. A good day was had by all.

Grilled steaks for chow, and had corn on the cob and baked taters, too. I had two full ears of corn... it was so damn good. I wish I could've eaten 10 ears! I love corn on the cob!

Little know fact; I love corn. Corn fucking hates me. The only time I eat corn is during the summer, on the cob. And only if I don't have to work. I'm going to suffer because I ate two full ears. Usually, I eat one and maybe a small ear or a half ear. If I keep it to one... it doesn't do so me so badly. But... two? Oh yeah. I'm going to suffer for it.

And by suffer, I mean that I'll have stomach cramps so bad that I won't be able to stand up straight. I'll wriggle around on the couch or bed in agony until the corn decides to vacate. I don't know why corn hates me so much... but it really, really does. And that's why I don't eat corn any other time. It hurts too much... but I eat it in the summer because it's so fucking good. I can't resist! A little pain is worth it, right?

And I had ice cream. Cuz... yum! And cold!

We didn't go back outside after chow. I figured I'd be full. And I am. And it's hot outside. And the pups are tired (sleeping as I write) and I may take a nap for a while on the couch before staying up all night. Depends upon what I decide to watch tv... some things are more likely than others to put me to sleep.

This happened. ‘I just can’t take it anymore’: Tennessee officer posts emotional video about quitting amid unrest

Again... there's irony here. Many comments from people of color said they felt the same way the officer did... all the time, their entire lives and that they didn't have the luxury of going home and taking their race off or quitting their race when they just can't take it anymore.

I do feel badly for him. It's an already tough, stressful and dangerous job. And none of this helps. It doesn't help to watch other officers murder a man in broad daylight and on camera. It doesn't help that people are rioting and looting. It doesn't help that people are shoving hate at officers.

And if he was one of the good guys... and he probably was, then it sucks even more. You want the bad ones held accountable, fired, prosecuted if that's what needs to happen. But you don't want to drive off people who have a passion for the job, who are in it to help people. Because like (some) cops paint all people of color with the same brush, many people (of all races) are painting all cops with the same brush. Neither is right and doing so doesn't help anyone.

A NASCAR (truck) racing driver quit because NASCAR won't allow the Confederate flag to fly at their tracks any longer. Seemed a really stupid reason to quit... but then I looked up the guy's (racing) record. He sucked. Bad. He wasn't a competitive driver, is what I'm saying. Seems more likely that he wanted to retire and found a way to go out without it being about how much he sucks.

I own a Confederate flag. I bought it on vacation down south when I was like... 12 or 13. It hung on my bedroom wall (along with an American flag) until I bought this house 14 yrs ago. I bought the flag because I liked it's design. I've also been a Civil War buff since forever. Those flags hung together on the walls because of the history of the war. The whole brother fighting brother thing, which has always been intriguing to me.

It's in a box in storage somewhere now. I didn't hang it back up, cuz... well, I'm a grown up, for one thing. The other reason was that in all those years I had never even thought about what the history of that flag meant to people of color... until I spoke to some of my black friends. I just flat out asked them if they found the flag offensive. Did it bring up negative connotations for them. And they all said yes.

I should've known better. But I didn't. I know better now. Live and learn, eh?

If I had a big house and a Civil War collection of Civil War stuff? Then I'd display it with that stuff. But now? It's put away and probably forever. Because of my friends. For my friends, yeah?

An older lady (92) from my dad's hometown died. My family knew her... I'm sad about that as she was a very nice lady. Back in the day, she and her husband hosted a Dane (Danish) reunion at their farm. The town back in the 1910s-1920 (when my great grandparents moved there) was primarily made up of people of Danish decent. And for years and years, there was a reunion of those old souls. Great grandparents, grandparents, children and grandchildren... all Danes of some degree.

I was related to a lot of them (not this lady) but when I was a young kid, I thought I was related to all of them. There hasn't been a Dane reunion now in probably 25 yrs or so. The vast majority of those who attended them are either passed or very elderly. It was not picked up and carried on by the younger generations. Mostly because, I suppose, they were much further removed from their Danish ancestry. I mean... a lot of those that attended when I was very young were born in Denmark. By the time you get to great grand children, you're three generations away from that heritage and... the young 'uns, we'll they're Americans, yes?

I do miss those things, though. They were a great deal of fun. Lots of food imported Danish beer... horses and mulberry trees, a lot of kids to play with... family you only saw that one time a year. And really cool old people.

One really cool older person... well, I wish I could remember her name, but I can't. She was a kind, intelligent woman though... and she was what they now call "intersexed". Or as they called it back in the day, she was a hermaphrodite. She had a willy and a vag when she was born. And in those days (probably the late 1910s, early 1920s) if you were born like that, you automatically become a girl... off with your willy. And now you're a she.

In this lady's case... well, she wasn't a lady. I mean... she was... but she wasn't. She was about 6'2" tall, probably 220 lbs, big broad shoulders, huge hands and feet and a very masculine face. They had no way of knowing that (then or now, I suspect) and even less capability to have made her a male instead, and how unfortunate for her, really.

She never married. I don't even know of folks in her situation can have children or not. She was a lovely woman, as I said... and kind and sweet and gentle and very intelligent and well educated. But she looked like a dude in drag. And that's how I found out what she was. Kids, you know? I asked my dad (not in her presence) why she looked so much like a man and that's when it was explained to me.

Anyway. All that's to say that I'll miss the lady that died. And that I miss those reunions.

I'm off! Here's some Danish/Nordic music that live streams 24/7, you know... if you wanna channel your inner Viking!

 

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Stuff like this sometimes worries me...

To summarize: You join a social media company as an employee so you can...be an activist and change the world. Except that your job is a content moderator, the purpose of which is to keep the truly exceptional stuff off and keep people from harassing each other. Not influencing thoughts of the masses. Except you have that power, by virtue of being able to delete things, flag them as "fake news", and so on. And you clearly have the idea that this is okay and even necessary to pursue your own brand of politics, as you've just stated you're an activist that wants to change the world--whatever that means.

That's frightening to me. People log onto that website to talk amongst each other and keep in touch with friends. It's not the opinion section of a newspaper, it's not a scientific study, it's not a digital form of a protest, it's...social media. For people to chatter about whatever inane things they want to talk about, right, wrong, conspiracy theory, breaking edge science, current events, what they ate for dinner that night, or whatever it is.

If people are using Facebook to organize crime or attack others, that's one thing. But someone idly looking up information on Trump believing the Earth is flat...okay? Whatever? Let them be dumb if that's how they choose to get their news. It's Wikipedia's job to educate, not Facebook's, and anyone trying to get education or news off of Facebook is even dumber than the people who look at Wikipedia and no further for their information.

And the article itself? Doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with this either. Frankly, I'm not sure what point it's trying to make. That it's hard to have political conversations at the Facebook company? Okay? It's a job, not a public forum. You're not there to discuss politics, you're there to work. And your work is again...keeping people from verbally killing each other. Not influencing the politics of the world. Leave that to the actual news, the actual libraries (online or otherwise). The platforms OUTSIDE of your jobs.

And if you have no time for that because Silicon Valley is stupidly punishing with its hours and expected employee commitment...well, that's another issue that needs to be looked at. But it has nothing to do with whether or not you can talk about politics when your job is to code and to moderate...

/gets off soapbox
 

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Except that your job is a content moderator, the purpose of which is to keep the truly exceptional stuff off and keep people from harassing each other.
That's not really the job of engineers:

"Much of the magical operation of online services is driven by rote laborers, such as moderators, AI-training wranglers, and gig workers.They aren’t counted as members of the industry, except perhaps as its casualties."

Frankly, I'm not sure what point it's trying to make.
Many people, engineers especially, believe that what they work on is equally as important as their salary. The article is stating that many Facebook engineers work for Facebook to improve things, but become disillusioned and either stay for the money or leave; but not many leave. Or at least, I believe that's the point it's trying to make.
 

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That's not really the job of engineers:

"Much of the magical operation of online services is driven by rote laborers, such as moderators, AI-training wranglers, and gig workers.They aren’t counted as members of the industry, except perhaps as its casualties."
True, and it's not really clear to me which workers the article was talking about. For either group--the coders or the moderators/gig workers--I still don't believe getting involved in the politics getting talked about on their platform is a good idea. Better to just brand the whole thing as "some of this may be false or personal opinion; educate yourself with actual education please", rather than get involved in trying to fact-check everything. That's the job of journalists and academics, and those are fulltime jobs with plenty of training, research, and ethics systems in place to boot.

Many people, engineers especially, believe that what they work on is equally as important as their salary. The article is stating that many Facebook engineers work for Facebook to improve things, but become disillusioned and either stay for the money or leave; but not many leave. Or at least, I believe that's the point it's trying to make.
Why go to Facebook of all places to improve the world? Why not journalism? Academia? Why not developing coding for medical machines and the like? It just seems like trying to romanticize a job who's purpose right out the door is to be highly commercial and gossip-y in nature, and not recognizing that that's exactly what they're signing on to.

Not being able to get jobs, or get good pay, from those more philanthropic businesses is another thing and an issue; and Silicon Valley is rife with problems of hierarchy and getting caught up in contracts that are punishing or exploitative. But otherwise the article just seems a bit...I don't know, tone deaf? Like someone wrote it quickly without really looking into where those ideas take you if carried out to their logical conclusion.

Looking into all the worker abuses of Silicon Valley, though...I wish more journalists did that.
 

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rather than get involved in trying to fact-check everything.
That's not really what engineers do, which is what the article is focusing on; the engineers rather than the moderators.


Why go to Facebook of all places to improve the world?
Lol, back in the day the motto of those top SVs was 'making the world a better place, etc etc'. Regardless, those giants have tremendous influence over the world, so I believe it's understandable that many join Facebook with the intention of improving the world. In fact, I have heard anecdotal stories about it. Think of it another way. If an engineer has two offers, one for tesla and one for Facebook, and everyone agrees that Tesla improves the world (not saying it does, but imagine everyone agreed upon that), then taking the Facebook offer over the Tesla offer would then be diminishing improvement of the world. That's actually how a lot of engineers think, in my opinion.

Looking into all the worker abuses of Silicon Valley, though...I wish more journalists did that.
Unsure what worker abuses you're speaking of.
 

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Lol, back in the day the motto of those top SVs was 'making the world a better place, etc etc'. Regardless, those giants have tremendous influence over the world, so I believe it's understandable that many join Facebook with the intention of improving the world. In fact, I have heard anecdotal stories about it. Think of it another way. If an engineer has two offers, one for tesla and one for Facebook, and everyone agrees that Tesla improves the world (not saying it does, but imagine everyone agreed upon that), then taking the Facebook offer over the Tesla offer would then be diminishing improvement of the world. That's actually how a lot of engineers think, in my opinion.
The latter bit makes sense, but why Facebook of all places? It just seems more like one of those companies that promises you great things and turns out to be just above a scam in actuality, with all the scandals associated with them on privacy, fake news, cyber-bullying, and the like. It's hard for me to imagine someone being in the field and not knowing this. (Not being sarcastic here; I just thought everyone knew how scummy the company was. XD )

Unsure what worker abuses you're speaking of.
Terrible wages for the "gig worker" level jobs, made worse by the housing prices in California--some of them go homeless.
Keeping people on contract work, which keeps them from being able to get things like health insurance, liability insurance/worker's comp, retirement savings, or compensation if the company goes under in the middle of the contract.
Very long hours for the programmers. Not sure how it applies across the industry, but the game developers in particular habitually work 60 hour weeks.
Women and people of color don't get hired as much.
Various pressing legal boundaries such as telling their workers they can't re-hire into the same industry if they quit.
Basically, all the same stuff that you hear about in any big or rich corporation that's trying to cut corners. Tech work has yet to unionize or have labor laws passed specifically for it as it's such a new industry, so these things can flourish.
 

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The latter bit makes sense, but why Facebook of all places? It just seems more like one of those companies that promises you great things and turns out to be just above a scam in actuality, with all the scandals associated with them on privacy, fake news, cyber-bullying, and the like. It's hard for me to imagine someone being in the field and not knowing this. (Not being sarcastic here; I just thought everyone knew how scummy the company was. XD )
Yeah, at the moment, I think many engineers agree; which is why Facebook pays so well. However, in the past, I believe many engineers thought that Facebook was making the world a better place through giving everyone a voice and making the world more interconnected. There are still engineers, I'm guessing, who join Facebook with the intentions of improving the ethics of their user design and experience.

Terrible wages for the "gig worker" level jobs, made worse by the housing prices in California.
Keeping people on contract work, which keeps them from being able to get things like health insurance, liability insurance/worker's comp, retirement savings, or compensation if the company goes under in the middle of the contract.
Very long hours for the programmers. Not sure how it applies across the industry, but the game developers in particular habitually work 60 hour weeks.
Women and people of color don't get hired as much.
Various pressing legal boundaries such as telling their workers they can't re-hire into the same industry if they quit.
Basically, all the same stuff that you hear about in any big or rich corporation that's trying to cut corners. Tech work has yet to unionize or have labor laws passed specifically for it as it's such a new industry, so these things can flourish.
Yeah game developers have it tough; a lot of game shops know that many of those devs do the work because they're 'passionate about the industry' and so it's easier for game studios to take advantage of their working conditions. But yeah all of those other topics are important, as well.



BTW, I'm not really taking a stance here, but I do think that the original article is interesting
 

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I tried to watch 100 Humans or whatever it's called last night, but I kept falling asleep. That has nothing to do with the show and everything to do with the fact that I've reached an age where tv can do that. Primarily after I've had good chow and have nice full belly and I'm feeling all content and the doggos woke me up at 0500.

I shall try again.

Eventually, around 0130 I woke up from my nap. Which started around 8p or so. And then the rest of the night was filled with trying to find batteries for my tv remote because it seems to be the only remote I have that I can use to change the input on the tv so that I can use the PS4... I tried all the cable remotes. They had input buttons. That did absolutely nothing. And the batteries were dead in my tv remote. I took the batteries out of my old cable remote (the non voice activated one) and put them in the tv remote, but... there wasn't enough juice to make it work.

There was only one AAA battery in the fridge. Fuck.

But... one good battery with the one eh battery was enough to make the remote work. Huzzah! And then... I forgot I had uninstalled The Last of Us to make room for new games. And I wanted to play The Last of Us to get used to game play and refresh the story in my brain before The Last of Us 2 comes out in six days. Yes? Yes.

So... then I had to wait 20 minutes for it to reinstall. But... then I got to play and I spent the rest of the overnight hours remembering and replaying. I'm so confused on controls that came naturally to me when I played before. Ugh. It's been a long time since I've played through the game from start to finish. I think I did so three times? Something like that. More than twice, less than five. So... three or four times.

I mean... the game came out in 2013... so... yeah, I've played it through a few times, but... the game is seven years old and it's probably been four years or so at least since I've done a play through.

I remember the story, I remember the scenes, I remember what to do in certain parts... I just can't remember the controls. It's a tad bit silly, if you must know. Also somewhat frustrating because I died a couple of times because I could not remember how to change to a new weapon or whatever. Ugh.

It does appear that I won't have to hurry the play through, though. Just got an email from Amazon. TLOU2 is to be released on June 19th. Amazon expects to deliver it on July 15th. For I have no idea what fucking reason? Amazon used to deliver shit the day of a release. The fuck is this a month later nonsense???

I dunno if it's covid-19 nonsense that's slowed everything down or what. I'm not mad. I'm really not. Disappointed, yes. I was quite excited to get my hands on the game. But... perhaps July is better anyway. I'll have all those days off and a lot of time to dump into the game that I won't have right now.

Still disappointed, though. Damn, man. Le sigh.

I do not want to go to work tonight. I really and truly don't. I hate that place so fucking much. Such drudgery and nonsense. It hurts me to be there. It hurts me in my brain and hurts me in my soul. It's just so much... ugh. Really.

My population did go up. I gained a female. A frequent flyer. She actually was just there not that long ago and now she's back. Cuz that's what these kids do. In and out, in and out. Until they graduate to Big Boy/Girl Jail. It makes my brain hurt. They're so fucking stupid. You can't tell them anything, because they know everything. Just... tossing t their lives away and for what? Nothing. It's so fucking... GAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Seriously.

They'll be in isolation and not on my unit (yet, at least) but I know over the weekend they got two males in... because it made the news. Two boys did a home invasion... and got caught. By the iPhone they stole. Dumbasses. It tracked them right to their location. Brilliant.

Of course, a gun was used so... they'll be with us for a while. I don't know yet if they're frequent flyers or not. I know that they are 16 and 17 yrs old... but you know, juveniles, so their names were put in the paper or anything.

One of our former frequent flyers murdered someone a few weeks ago. He shot a dude he was gambling with and killed him, the dipped outta state. He's caught now, though. That's why I know he was one of ours now. Idiot. He's like... close to 30 yrs old now, I think. So he's not been with us for a while, but you always remember the frequent flyers because they're locked up so much. Hard to forget a kid that you've dealt with 20-30 times over a 3-5 yr period after all.

And yes... quick turn around is a thing. Usually it's not quick. But... some are quite fast. We had a kid in the old building who was released at 945p (I had just come in for my shift at 10p) and was back with us, on a new felony charge, before my shift was over. Less than eight hours and he'd already committed a crime, been arrested and booked back into our facility.

Teenagers are fucking morons. Some more than others, certainly... but all y'all are dumb as fuck. (It's not your fault, for the record, we're all fucking morons when we're kids. It's a teenager's job to be a fucking idiot... and they do it oh so very well. Whilst knowing everything, of course.)

Well. I've got an hour before I have to get ready for work, so I think I'm going to head off to play a little TLOU... not that I have to hurry or anything... got a fucking month, eh?

 
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