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6,248 Posts
Sweet baby Jesus, I'm glad it's the last one.

I'm so very tired. Dunno what's up with that. Just... the job sucking the life outta me, probably. What's been happening is that I have trouble falling asleep... it takes a bit longer than usual. And then when I wake up, it's like... it's like I almost have to pry my fucking eyelids up or they won't open. I mean, it's a bit of a real, actual, physical struggle to open my eyes. Once I'm up for a bit, I'm kinda ok. Or not, depending.

Today, now that I've been up for a couple of hours, I feel pretty good. Previous days? Nope. Had to go back to sleep for an hour or two before getting ready for work.

Last night on the drive, I was perfectly fine... thinking to myself on the drive at one point that I was quite sad that I was going to work and didn't have my camera with me because I passed over/by this creek on my way to work and the sun was almost down, but the sky was orangish... and it was reflecting off the water in this creek and it looked so fucking cool... and I had none of those things, nor the time to stop... and blah, blah, blah.

And then, like maybe 2 or 3 minutes later this like... wave of tired hit me and... what the fuck. Seriously, my eyes suddenly felt like they were very heavy and had that sore/sandy type feeling when you're so very tired... the burning feeling. And, yeah... it kinda weirded me out.

It did not help that the road right along that highway (happened as I was coming off the interstate onto the highway) is dark as fuck right there because none of the street lights in that stretch are working... and it made me feel all outta sorts, kinda like I was dreaming or something? It was really fucking weird.

And I kept that tired feeling up the rest of the drive to work. Dunno what was up with that. It went away after I was in the parking lot at work.

I dunno how to describe it. I've never had a panic attack, but to me... it seems like it was sorta like that, only with out the panic part or some shit. I have no idea.

My best guess as to what it actually was is that when I saw that creek and the sun and stuff, I must've taken a trip into War Land (that neat place in my brain) and kinda went on autopilot or whatever. I mean, I was aware and stuff, but I was thinking about how much it sucked to not be able to take that photo and then I how I would set up the photo if I could take the photo and what I would have to do to be safe to take the photo (interstate and all) and...

I think maybe I was feeling tired before that, but didn't realize it when I was off in War Land or the effects weren't as strong or something and so when I popped back in, everything got heavy for a while or some shit.

Fuck, I have no idea. Clearly.

On a wholly different note... you know what's amusing? People who claim to hate you, but then follow your social media. Like... not just follow it, but trolling it, but following following. I mean... seriously. So ridonculous. If you have someone so much, why would you be hanging on their every word? That doesn't sound like hate to me.

Especially if they've blocked you... and unfollowed you. And then later, you realize they must've unblocked you at some point and started following you again. 🤪 🤯 People are silly.

Blocking is one of those things that I've never ever done. I've never blocked anyone on any social media ever. It's wholly ineffective, for one thing. All the other side has to do is make another account or sign out (of some things) or whatever. So, you're not really blocking them from shit. So... ok, I guess you can't see their shit, though, right? That's how it works? (No idea, never blocked anyone, as I said.)

I used to get trolls now and then when I blogged. Usually during the summer. The kiddies getting to stay up late and play around on the pc whilst mommy and daddy were sleeping. You could always tell they were young... just such dumb ass shit, they'd say. I'd usually just troll them back... if I was bored and had time. If not, I'd put up a smiley face by their comments (or whatever) and then just go about the day. That really annoyed them! No reaction! AAHH!

It was always pretty funny to me. Still is, actually. I work in corrections. Do you really think you can say something to me or about me that hasn't already been said before? Seriously? (I've had a kid toss out an insult that was so good, I busted out laughing. I don't think that was the reaction he was expecting, but whatever. It was good and funny and it hit me right in my funny bone, sooooooo.) People thinking they're hurting my feelings by tossing insults at me as amuses me greatly.

It's a little bit different profession, you know? I mean right after I wrote that, I thought... most people don't hear curses and insults flying at them all day long. That's not how most people live, right? I was talking to one of the girls who works at the local convenience store. She was talking about her boss being inappropriate... and by that I mean, using inappropriate language, swearing and dropping F bombs and stuff... and this girl really didn't like it at all.

And I thought, that's like... normal for my job. Last night, Isaiah and I were talking about how fucking done with this week we are and then he says "At least it's my Friday." to which I replied "You know what, Fuck you. Fuck. You. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. And that's all I have to say about that. Fuck you."

Though I suppose a lot of things we do would seem inappropriate or shocking to outsiders. For instance, in the old facility we used to play "Keep or Kill". There was a small grease board divided up into cells and then each kid's name was written in the corresponding cell slot on the grease board. (In many other places, as well... this was not the offical list, but just to help staff keep track, especially if a kid needed to be temporarily moved or whatever.)

So basically, each staff playing had to pick a kid to keep... and a kid to kill. And so and on so on until there no kids left to keep or kill.

Now that by itself doesn't seem like such a bad dealio, right? I mean... we're obviously not really going to kill anybody. It's just who do we like and who's a dickhead we can't stand. (Not always the same people for every staff.) But imagine if a story like that hit the press? People would lose their fucking shit over something like that hitting the media. People entrusted to care for detained juveniles caught playing games of Keep or Kill... a game where each staff picks a child to keep and a child to be killed...

Can you imagine!? Regular peeps would be like 🤬👿

Another fun thing happening around here is a local tv personality and his wife of 5 months are having an extremely public break up. He's been fired from his job over the whole deal, too. It went from her being reported missing to her being found and then a whole explosion of shit all over social media.

I never liked that dude, always thought he was a weirdo... pretty much concreted that fact now and I'm not sure how stable she is, to be honest. Reading the stuff that he's posted though? He is, at best, a liar... he was saying all manner of things that any reasonable person would know was bullshit, in an attempt to intimidate her. And at the worst, he is abusive and manipulative.

It's turned into quite the shit show, it has. When divorce time rolls around, they lawyers are going to either have a field day with all the social media shit or what to kill themselves. I'm not really sure which one, to be honest.

And he should really shut up. His job is on tv... who's going to want to hire him with all this shit being very public? Just really not very fucking smart at all.

Some people's kids... I swear.

I suppose I should get along now. Work and all. Blech.


6,248 Posts
Hey, yo.

It's 0428... and here I am. Of course, I've also not just woke, either. I've been up for an hour and half already. Lucky me. I knew this would happen. I stayed up all day yesterday and ran outta steam around 8p... and went to bed. And that's why I was up at 0300.

This is why my mom is weird to me. She's like a fucking cat. She was in bed before 8p... she's in bed before 8p every night. (Sometimes as early as 630p) Ok? But she sleeps until somewhere between 0700-0900. Most every day. I don't know how she can do that. She's literally spend half, or more, of every day... asleep.

And now, it's not a new thing. When she was working, she'd get all huffy when I asked her about going to bed so fucking early (or teasing her for it) and her excuse then was I get up at 0400 every morning!

Now... was there any reason at all for her to be up at 0400? No. Well, in her mind yes... in reality, no. She's one of those that has to sport all her war paint at all times. So, she had to get up at 0400 to put on all her make up before she could go to work. She didn't shower in the mornings or anything like that. She didn't have to be to work until 0700... her work is about a 15 minute drive... ok? Ok.

But... she's still sleeping like that. Minus the getting up at 0400 thing.

Unfortunately, I can't sleep for 12-13 hrs at a pop. Unless I'm wicked dead tired or sick. I went to bed at 8p and woke up at 0300... seven hours later. After having been up for nearly 30 hrs straight.

I'll definitely be tired later.

I'm going to start playing TLOU2 in a bit. I kinda wanted to wait, but... I really want to play. Next weekend starts my month of four day weekends... so... I'll have a lot of playing time, no doubt.

Brilliant me just realized that now would be a good time to install the game... whilst I'm doing other things, as that's going to take a while. Birds and stones and all that.

Just one more week of bullshit and I get all those glorious days off. It does appear as though I will not get the 6th off... I mean, it's not like they had four months to cover that spot or anything, after all. 🙄 And that's the last bit, the only bit that hasn't been approved for July. Just that one day. Of course, when I return to work tomorrow night, I'll check the schedule for this upcoming weekend and probably the entire month to make sure the slips I got back and the schedule reflect one another. Because they've pulled bullshit before... not on me, but I'm not into taking chances.

That's actually how my friend/former coworker, Kate, ended up fired. She was a no call, no show one day. The day she was a no call, no show... she had a put in a leave request and it had been approved. She needed that day off as her husband, Anthony, was having a liver transplant.

She didn't show or call on that day (that she thought she had off, because the returned slip said she did) and they never called her to find out where she was... which was in a hospital in a different city so her husband could get a liver transplant to hopefully save his life. (It did not, sadly. Anthony was a good dude.)

And then they presented her with her termination paperwork on a day she was leaving early for work (before Anthony died) to go to court to fight for custody of her crack head cousin's sons so they wouldn't end up in a bad way from neglect and abuse and what not.

But, yeah. The reason they fired her was they claimed she'd never put in a leave slip for that day. She had, she'd gotten a copy of it back... but had trusted them and threw the copy away. (Never ever ever trust these motherfuckers. I have a whole special file here at home for nothing but leave request slips... all of them. Photocopies of originals before I submit them and then the slips they give back... I keep them all, approved or denied.)

Doran (1st shift lead supervisor at the time) knew she had gotten the slip back and he told her that he would stand up for her in the termination hearing. And that was a lie... he lied and said he knew nothing about it... and she lost her job (the board's decision to terminate was not unanimous, but it was enough that it went through.)

So. I'm almost like... ocd, paranoid, whatever... when it comes to leave requests. I will check them and recheck them, probably all through out the month of July. Just to make sure. I do not trust these motherfuckers. Not even the wee'st of amounts do I trust them.

Now that we're almost to July... high school football season is upcoming and photographing games and all that. But, in the midst of the whole covid-19 thing... I'm not sure that's going to happen this year. It's going to feel really weird if I can't be on the field on Friday nights. Because it'll be the first time in like... 10-12 yrs that I haven't been...

And if there's no season... I'm going to feel badly for those kids. The senior kids, specifically. For most high school football players, senior year is the last time they will ever put on pads and go out onto the field. Football is not a sport (most) can continue to play through out their lives. Once high school is over, your football playing days are over.

And they work for senior year. It may be the first time they've ever been able to start in their position, get all the reps in the game and stuff.

I dunno. It probably doesn't make a lot of sense to people who aren't athletes...

Just... take the thing... hobby or whatever... that you are most passionate about in your life and say that from this day forward, you can never do it again. Ever. That's a tough thing, yeah? I would've been absolutely gutted had I been forced to miss my senior year because of a virus. Gutted and pissed. I put so much work into that sport from 4th-5th grade all the way through... to get to that last one.... the swansong... and have it ripped out from under you? No...

Anyway. Everything's loaded up. Time to start my The Last of Us 2 adventure.

I'm nervous... anxious about it. Is that weird?

6,248 Posts
Well. I've started my The Last of Us 2 run.

It's beautiful. Stunning. I'm not that far (just got to Seattle... it was Seattle, right? Or Portland?) but I can say it's dark. Subject matter, I mean. And... the end that was... it was brutal and ugly. Emotional.

And yet... anti climatic. And I'm not even sure how that works, to be honest, but that's how I felt about it.

That doesn't mean I'm disappointed. It's just... it's not story book. Or movie. Or tv show. Or video game. It's life. There were a lot of complaints that it was not the end that was deserved. And... no, it probably wasn't. That's pretty much how life works, innit?

I mean... how many people do you know that got the end they deserved? Cuz I know a whole shit load of people who got a shitty end. And, though those ends were heart wrenching/breaking, they weren't climatic. They just were. Because that's how life works. You're here... and then you're not.

I do like the game play better than in the first game. I like the new things that have been added... that's bonus.

I'm looking forward to riding this game out and see what happens. I've not been spoiled, so to speak... I mean, other than the stuff that's been obvious pretty much from the get go (the end, for example) so I have no fucking clue at all what's going to happen. Normally, spoilers don't bother me... at all. But this time? I have actively avoided them.

Today has been a good day. I've just had some wonderful pizza, wings and bread sticks. Such goodness. Elsewise, I was outside from 0900 until 5p with my pups. Set up their pool for them (only the big pup likes it, though, really.) and tossed the disc all day for the wee pup. (There were breaks in that obviously... it's hot outside) And I gamed and listened to music all the live long day.

It's back to work tomorrow night. Ugh.

I'm just holding on by a thread to make it that month of four day weekends. I really need that break. (I really need a new fucking job, is what I really need...) It's just such a drag going there anymore. I hate it.

You know... part of the problem, the reason why it's so fucking... icky... these days? Besides the admin bullshit? I don't have friends at work anymore. That's a reason. I mean... Malachi... but because of our schedules at the moment, I barely see him. And though I consider him my friend... he's a work friend only. We don't hang out. When one of us leaves (likely it'll be him), I'll probably never see or talk to him again. Which kinda sucks... but... yeah.

Back in the day, I had friends there. We hung out. Sometimes as a group, sometimes with just two of us, but... yeah. And we've stayed friends... still see each other, hang out and all that stuff. Having friends at work just makes life more bearable. I just don't have that now.

I like Isaiah, I like Rita... hell, I even like Natalie (I want to kill her most of the time, but... yeah) but these are not people I'm going to be hanging out with outside of work. We're not friends like that. (Natalie is the closest to an outside friend... how's them apples?)

So. Work is just... blech. Go. Do. Come home. Rinse. Repeat. Ugh.

I have been in this situation before. At the meat packing plant and when I worked at the junk mail factory (ok, it was one of those mail order shit gift places, but I worked in the junk mail department, sooooo...)

Both of those places... well... it's not that the people weren't nice. A lot of them were very nice people. But... and this sounds terrible, I know... neither place was full of rocket scientists, feel me? A lot of bottom feeders, is what I'm saying. And I don't say that to be mean, it's just... true.

Though, I did have a couple of friends at the junk mail place, actually. David and John. They hung out with me at the track a few times when my dad was racing. And we always talked at work. David was a young Latino boy and John was a white gay rocker dude... and they were roommates. (David wasn't gay) They were pretty cool. I think they liked me because I didn't talk shit to or about John. This was... 25 or so years ago... calling people faggots and what not, on the job, wasn't really frowned upon and some people were gigantic dickholes.

And... interestingly enough, when I worked at the group home, I ended up working with David's brother. I didn't know they were brothers (different last name and though they were both Latino and brothers, they looked nothing alike)... I really liked David's brother, too. Be damned if I can remember his name at the moment.

Ah, well.

I think I'm going to go have a lie about for a while. I've been up since 0300. Iffin I nap now, I can spend the all of the night playing TLOU2... yes? Yes!

6,248 Posts
I've been up since 1130p or so. It's now almost 0800... and I've been playing TLOU2 the entire time.

I'd like to say I've made great progress, but I've not. Well... I will be starting Seattle Day 2 when next I play. It's not that complicated (well, some bits... those nasty bubbling icky guys. Ugh.) but I spent a lot of time roaming around and looking into anything it seemed I could get into. Exploring, as it were. I figure... I've waited eons for this game, I might as well enjoy the ride, eh?

I had only died like... twice... all game until I ran into those bubbly infected... pustul having nasties. The first battle with them I died several times. And then the last time, it went smooth as butter. I think I was trying to hard to be clever, honestly, and what ended up working best for me was having no plan and just running about like a crazy fucker.

I won't have much time to play now until the first big weekend rolls around. And even then, it's a holiday. Still might not be having the time to play too much. We'll see, I guess.

And now I suppose I should take my carcass to bed. For that whole work thing tonight. Yippee.

I wonder, after all these hours of playing, if I'll dream of game? I don't generally do that as a rule... dream what I've seen on tv or movies or games or whatever. Well... except the Nazi dreams, but that's from childhood (and yes, sometimes I still dream about Nazis. Fucking dickholes!) and I don't have those dreams much anymore.

I guess I'll find out shortly, eh?

6,248 Posts

I didn't dream of the game. Even after spending a couple hours gaming again this morning. I'm not that influenced by things outside, really. Well... I am, I guess. But not so obviously. I dunno why.

It's like, the way I started watching The Walking Dead. I didn't like the fucking show when I first saw it. Thought it was dumb as fuck. Ok? And then AMC was running one of their TWD marathons one year (been several years ago now) and it was winter time and I was trapped inside. So I said fuck it and started watching it. (Got my ass caught up, I did)

So we have a tv in the kitchen. Just a wee little thing. We tend to watch the news whilst we're eating chow in the evenings. This was a weekend and the news comes on at weird hours, so I told my mom to put on TWD because I'd seen several eps by this time and I was into whatever was going on... so she did and we had chow and watched the show... and mom got caught up. I think we sat in the kitchen and watched at least two, but possibly three eps.

The next morning my mom tells me I'm never watching that show again! I thought this was strange because she was very caught up in it when we were watching the night before.

She was caught up. Right up until she had nightmares all night about the zombies getting her. ;) Poor old girl couldn't close her eyes that night without dreaming of zombies and all that fun stuff. She hasn't watched it since then, either. That cured any addiction she might've been developing. (Though she doesn't watch any show regularly and never has... except like morning news shows or whatever.)

Things like that don't happen to me often. Every now and then, but not often. And even if they did, I don't have nightmares. There's not a lot out there that truly scares me. (If I have a nightmare, it's almost always going to be Nazis or tornadoes... and it's about 99.9% of the time going to be fucking Nazis. Too many WWII movies as a kid!)

I'm making progress in the game... but did get myself into quite a pickle. I got stuck with a shit load of bad guys and used every bit of everything I had trying to survive. And I did survive. And then I had to go on with the game with absolutely zero ammo, devices, med kits... anything. Everything zeds across the board. This is really not a game you want to end up stuck in that situation.

I've looted some on my way to the hospital... so I've got like... maybe 5 rounds (between 4 firearms) and I med kit. I'm so fucking ready to go into battle. 😁

Resource management is a thing. I did a bad job of it. I'm going to pay for it well and truly. And that sucks! I knew that, of course, but... man... overwhelming odds.

Work was... not terrible. Oddly. And it went by fairly quickly.

I've only four youthful offenders now. One girl, three boys. And one on suicide watch. Guess which one???

Yup. The only girl. Fucking hell. But she's been working toward this for like... two and a half weeks. It's attention seeking. She started out with small attention seeking things, then it was bigger attention seeking things (flooding the cell, threatening staff, etc) and when those things did not get the desired result? I'm going to kill myself.

The upside, truly, was Natalie secondary and being truly helpful. Most of the night, all I did was the 4" checks on that girl. She did the boys (that sounded dirty) and the laundry. I did the paperwork and just looked at that one kid. And she came and hung out with me here and there through out the night for an hour or so at a time. And... that really helped to pass the time and made the whole thing far less painful. It was pretty easy peasy.

We watched some shows together. She had some stuff on that she normally watches and when I came back from break, I joined in on the watching. I don't know what the show was called or even what channel we were on, but the stories were like... about ghosts and big feets and stuff of that nature.

The stories were kinda good (supposedly real) with terrible, anti climatic endings... but it didn't matter. I'd get so caught up in the story, I'd forget about the shit endings every time. When that was over, we watched some weather shit. True stories of people being dumb as fuck during things like tornadoes and hurricanes and then almost dying.

The common thread I had with all the ghost stories was... why didn't all y'all leave? Because... first time I see a ghost or a spirit or a fucking demon in my house is the last time I'd be living in that house. Fuck all that. I don't even fucking believe in such things... ok? But if some shit like that happened, believe it or not, I'm moving the fuck out.

I'm like 110% in agreement with Eddie Murphy...

These folks. During a global pandemic... decided to have a large birthday party. And now a metric shit ton of them are covid-19 infected and some are fighting for their lives.

Texas family sees 18 members test positive for coronavirus after birthday party

And... I don't feel a damn bit sorry for them. I really don't. Darwinism, eh? The amount of stupid I hear coming out of some people's mouths regarding covid-19 (I'm still hearing people in this state where I live, calling it a demoncratic hoax), wearing masks (my body, my choice!... which I'm sure they'll remember when it comes to reproductive rights) and just all manner of the dumbest shit ever. Like... the fuck is wrong with all y'all.

Am I likely to get covid-19? Uhm. Possible? Yes, of course. Likely? Not really. We just don't have the population base and the population base we do have is centered in one specific area... and the rest is cows and corn, really. While it's possible... if I just avoid being in the city, except for work or other necessities, the probability of me getting the 'rona is small.

That being said, while eateries and what not here have opened to 75% capacity and what not? I'm still not going. Because I don't want to take the chance of getting that shit and bringing it home to my mom. Does it suck not being able to go to the bar or go to the rib place or go to a movie or whatever? Yes. It does suck. But... not as much as losing my mom would suck. So... I stay my ass home.

Anyway. I think I'm going to have a lie about for a few before work.

Oh... and how true is this?


1 Posts
I figured somebody might possibly like a thread where they will be able to post the random things on their mind, whether it's an idea, a simple thought, complex thoughts, problems... Anything they wish to share without criticism or judgement. Let's face it, writing down our thoughts, feelings, wisdom, etc., isn't the best thing to do because, although often personal, it disallows the communication with other humans we so desire (plus this saves the trees that we should be using to cut down on carbon dioxide, yet we instead cut them down).

I'll go first...

Why the hell is coming up with a random thought so difficult when you feel as though you're in the spotlight, yet you do it all the time when you don't feel pressured?

Also, hard nipples.
Idk I came here in hope the hate wasn't as strong as forum 😞...I just want to vibe and interact with chill, non-argumentative individuals man lol

6,248 Posts

Last night was nice, like the previous night. It's nice to have help when you've got suicide watch. It's even nicer when you've only one kid on the unit with the suicide watch... the kid that's on suicide watch. Former 1stie and now part timer, Cassie, worked for us last night and since we had two secondaries (she & Isaiah), she mostly stayed with me the entire night. She did do some stuff straight away cuz they gave her a new part timer to train and so with three of them doing secondary stuff straight away, everything was pretty much done by like... 1130 or so. Except laundry. Which, that's a process you can't really hurry along, obviously.

So I sat on my unit with my one whackadoo girl and watched tv all night. Watching the ghost/alien/bigfoot/etc stories that Natalie likes so much. None of the ones I watched last night were good. Most of them were actually very obviously fake. The guy from Argentina who posted a video of an "angel" that his cctv cameras caught in his workshop. And when I say "angel", I mean moth. The guy who's security cameras filmed an "orb" that was perfectly round and emitted light that looked exactly like the light coming from his flashlight. The ghost hunter who stayed in a "haunted" church that had been abandoned after a hurricane (until the police showed up and chased him off)... where Bibles & chairs were being thrown... oddly from the same area where he was sitting... hmmmmmm...

But... it took up time, so whatever. I can't really do much else when doing suicide watch, soooooooooo... I did use my tablet later, but I had to wait for it to have a full charge cuz there aren't a lot of outlets and the thing is getting harder to charge when it's just sitting on the table. (I think the tablet, an Asus brand, is about... 7 or 8 yrs old now. This power cord I have now is the second one... so I'd not be surprised if it needs a new one again soon. Though I might just buy a whole new tablet instead, at this point in time.)

Hoping this dumbass girl is off suicide watch by now. Though I wouldn't doubt at all if she's still on them.

A guy from the other agency came outside last night whilst Kelly and I were out there. He told us last night was his last night (and their agency didn't now it yet), he was scheduled to come back tonight, but he had zero intentions of doing so. Apparently, this little boy (he's 13... he's one of our formers) had five staff assaults yesterday. Five. Assaults on staff. In one day. This dude... he was flat over it. Said their director (used to be our lead counselor) was a fucking moron that didn't have the slightest idea what she was doing and that she was going to get someone killed.

So. That was a cheerful conversation.

I'm not surprised. We (our folks) all knew it was going to be a shit show. And it is. And yes... myself, Kelly and Natalie all applied to work over there as supervisors... and honestly, I think one of their biggest mistakes was not hiring one or all of us to lead the way over there. Because these people they've put in charge have no experience in anything (a 2nd shifter from there told me most of the people working there came from retail), they have no idea what they're doing and to top it all off, they've no leadership. The director (our former counselor) hasn't a fucking clue how to run an entire agency, has no programs in place for the youth (after nearly 6 months of being open and having kids there) and... just all sorts of nonsense.

They could've hit the floor running a lot faster with a group of... well, let's just say they did hire myself, Kelly and Natalie for supervisors. That's 21 yrs experience for me, 18 yrs experience for Kelly and 15 yrs experience for Natalie... so what... 54 yrs of combined experience? Oh... and I have 2 more years working in a group home, so... 56 yrs of combined experience.

But... by all means... hire someone whose last job was working at Walmart. 🙄

I'd like to be out of this job obviously, but I'm also kinda enjoying the fact that I didn't get hired by that agency and I can now sit and laugh at the shit show.

I believe I will be getting July 6th off now! Yay! Cassie said she'd work it for me. Yay Cassie! Of course, I knew she might take it. She was working last night for Malachi. Apparently she needs the money. Something about pulling some money out of her 401K and not realizing that you get a nice tax penalty for that and so she needs to now make up what they lost paying taxes on the money they took out. Or some such dealio.

I know she's desperate because she never works 3rd shift and she's been on like... 3x this week. So, knowing what Malachi said... I asked her and she snapped it right up, after checking her schedule. So... I think Malachi spoke the truth on her being desperate for the hours/money. And it works out for me, so there ya go.

Pretty sad that, after giving the "fully staffed" (with full time and ample part timers) agency a leave request four months in advance... that I actually had to fill the vacancy myself. You know? I mean... they claim we're fully staffed and have plenty of part timers... and yet, they can't fill a leave request when given four months advance notice... and I end up having to do it my damn self. Le sigh. They fucking frustrate the shit outta me.

I was fully intending to come home this morning and play with the pups before it go stupid gross outside. (It was 77 degrees and humid as fuck on my drive home) But... around 0445 or so at work, I started feeling this pressure in my noggin... right in the middle of my forehead. Pre migraine pressure. Well... fuck.

On the drive home, I had less pressure, but felt pukey. Which is never good. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I thought I was good... feeling a bit blah, but... not like something bad was going to happen soon. Walked around back to the patio... since my garage door opener doesn't work right now, I've got to go in the back door... and I got to the door and I'm trying to put my key in the lock and... the urping starts. Pre vomiting... and then the vomiting came close behind. Fucking annoying as shit.

That also made my noggin hurt more. Got inside, let the pups out... took a bunch of drugs, brought the pups back in... and laid on the couch and slept for a few hours before going to bed and sleeping the rest of the day away. I feel ok now, but man that really sucked. I never got a full blown migraine. Just enough pressure and... whatever... to make me all pukey feeling and when I get that feeling, it's hard to make it go away without puking. I dunno what's up with that, but it's like once that process starts... puke is going to happen.

Ah well... time to be on my way. Leave you with this, Florida peeps freaking out about masks at a hearing.

They want to throw God's wonderful breathing system... out the door. 😈

6,248 Posts
Carl Reiner has died.

Learning that this morning made me sad. But only a little. I mean, a legend of comedy certainly... but also 98 years old. Ninety eight. Like... two years from one hundred. I don't give a fuck who you are, 98's a good run... if you die when you're 98 yrs old, I really can't be too sad about that. I can't see why anybody would be, really.

All I have to say now is Mel Brooks better not fucking die.

Back in the old days, in our old facility, administration and Adam (1st shift supervisor) were quite intently trying to nail our little 3rd shift group (myself, Kate, Malachi & Brent) for... whatever they could find or make up. Whatever the case may be. It was so bad and yet so comical (because they were really bad at it) that whenever one (or more) of us would get targeted, we'd start singing the Inquisition Song from History of the World Part 1. Quite often around admin or Adam or those who would run such back to either/or. :cool:

The inquisition's here and it's here to staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

When I went to work last night, I checked the schedule to see if I was marked off on Monday, since Cassie said she'd work for me. Which I told her to confirm with them and I sent them (admin secretaries) the info and all that fun stuff. And, I was not marked off the schedule. Of course. Nor was there an approved/returned leave slip in my box.

So, ok. What the fuck? I get on my unit and check my email... one of the first ones there is from one of the secretaries saying that she'd confirmed with Cassie (check), had taken me off the schedule for Monday (nope) and that I needed to fill out a leave request ASAP.

Uh... what? I put in a leave slip four fucking months ago. It was part of a three day bangeroo... July 4, 5 & 6. Requested all the way back in March. And, in fact, was the last request noted on the paper that the admin secretaries had returned to me (everyone gets a copy of theirs) which listed all of the requests that were put in the day after shift bid ended. (We can't put in any requests for the 6 months of a rotation until after the bid for that rotation ends two weeks prior to the changing of rotation.)

They give us a list to keep, because people put in everything they really want straight away on that first day after bid. (Because if you don't, there is little chance you'll get it off, which is particularly true of holidays and what not.) So... I checked my list, which I've been carrying around (and adding to) for the past four months... and there it was, right at the bottom... which means they had received and acknowledged that I had put in that request. Yes? Yes.

And so... what they're telling me now, since they've no idea of this, is that they've either lost or thrown away the original copy of the request. Without bothering to even try to fill the last day off. So... all the while I've been sitting here, waiting for them to fill that last day, they had no intention of doing so whatever. Because they lost/tossed my original leave request. And... had I not asked Cassie to work for me, I'd have not gotten the night off.

I was talking to Isaiah about it last night and he was like... damn, I always throw my request sheets away. I told him to stop doing that straight away. Before you submit a leave request, photocopy it and keep a copy for yourself and when/if they return the copy to you, approved or denied, keep that copy as well. Because they pull some shady shit.

I mentioned Kate above and how they (admin & Adam) were after us for years (admin still is) right? Well, this is how they finally got Kate. Kate's husband Anthony developed liver cancer. He was very sick. So she's carry for a very sick Anthony (who needs a liver transplant to survive) and at the same time she's working on adopting her (crackhead) cousin's two sons so they can grow up in a stable home and have a chance at life, right?

So, Anthony finally is able to get a liver transplant. They have to travel to another city to have the procedure done. Kate put in a leave request for this, so she could be with Anthony. I mean... that's what you do when your spouse (or child or parent) is having a medical procedure like that done, right? They approved the leave request... they never marked it on the schedule, though.

Kate goes off and does the surgery thing with Anthony. It goes well, he's home to recover. On the day she's got to leave early to go to court to fight to get custody of her cousin's sons, admin serves her with termination papers for being a no call/no show on the day that she was with Anthony during his transplant.

She's telling the it was approved, they're telling her it wasn't... she said she got her leave request returned marked approved, they asked her to produce it... and she'd thrown it away. It was approved, she was off... she didn't feel like she needed to keep the returned request. Doran (former 1stie lead supervisor) told her that he had seen it and that he'd stick up for her in the termination hearing, so she thought she was all good. I told her... told her... not to believe him because as much as he was playing it up, he was not her friend... she dismissed me. Said he was an ok guy.

And they got to the hearing and Doran testified against her. She still almost didn't get fired... it was not a unanimous decision from the board, but she did get terminated. It took them like... 15 yrs or so... but they finally got one of us. And she was the easier target because she left 3rd shift to first go to 2nd and then to 1st shift... which I told her wasn't a very smart thing to do. That was like walking into enemy territory and offering yourself up for target practice...

But, yeah. All that's to say you can't trust these motherfuckers. They absolutely will do some shady ass shit to try to get you fired or otherwise cause a ruckus for you. You have to document everyfuckingthing. I wouldn't go into a conversation with the director, ever, without a union rep. Nobody should... you need someone in there so that there is a witness to what actually happens... and not what the director is going to try to spin it into.

Anyway, I replied to the email saying I'd already put in a leave request back in the day, four months ago, and that it was marked as such on the paper that was given to us, by them, back in April. But... I did also say that I would fill out a new leave request, which I did. I just wanted them to know that I knew they were incompetent and had fucked up. Because goddamn it... how fucking hard is it?

So... I have a five day weekend upcoming and then four day weekends for the rest of July after that. Huzzah!

My big pup is trying to lick my elbows. Because they fucking hurt so very much, I have smeared them with lidocaine cream (which doesn't really do much of anything, but I feel like I have to try something...) and he, apparently, believes this stuff is delicious and wants to lick it all off.

Mind you, he also licks the hell outta me (and my mom) for no reason whatever most days, so it's not just his thinking that lidocaine is yummy. He's just a very licky dog. Last night, he was lying on the floor in front of the kitchen sink whilst my mom did dishes and he was licking her legs. She was doing a little jig the entire time, trying to get him to quit, whilst still washing the dishes. 😁

Played with the pups this morning and we're inside now because it's ugly outside. This morning at 0600 in the morning as I left work, it was 77F. Humidity at 84%, dew point at 72F. Air you can wear, basically... and the sun wasn't even all the way up yet!

We did our playing this morning and we started it out by getting the water bowl filled and then me spraying the big pup (he loves water) and myself (on the noggin) with cold water... just so we could tolerate being outside, even then. It's about 20 degrees warmer than that now and... yeah. We're not going outside to play or game.

Maybe if I didn't have to work. I could sit out there and drink ice cold beer, have the fan blowing on me, sog my noggin every now and then, wear very little clothing and be pretty ok. I don't want to go out and get heated up before going to work. The building is air conditioned, but not much on 3rd shift (save money, make it warmer inside over night... it was so warm in there last night, kids were choosing to sleep on the floor where it was cooler, even though that's against the rules... and we let them)... so... it's already stuffy and humid inside and then we have to wear a mask everywhere in the building... as in we can't enter until we have one on. So... breathing one's own hot air on one's self whilst already being warm... doesn't make for the most pleasant of nights... so no way I'm going in there already fucking hot and shit.

If it were my day off... no big deal. Soak myself, get mostly nekkid... it's all good. Come in and cool off for a while, go back out, come back... etc and so forth and if we're drop dead tired at 9p because the heat has sapped our energy? S'all good, man... don't have to work, can go to bed or lie about, yeah?

I need to get my watch fixed. I'm not wearing it or any bracelets or anything right now due to the 'rona, not that it matters cuz my watch has been broke for a while. I'm not sure what's wrong with it, but I suspect it has to do with however it stores energy (it's an Eco drive) to keep the watch going. Not to mention that the crystal is chipped and scratched to fuck after 17 yrs of hard use. (I'm terrible on watches!) It probably needs cleaned and all manner of things. I really don't want to have to buy a new one. I like this one.

This is what I have...


This is an old model of course, they've newer versions of this (This is the Calibre 8651)... I paid like, $500 for the thing back about 17 yrs or so ago... give or take. Maybe longer than that, I can't really remember. The newer models seem to run anywhere from $350 to $500, give or take a buck or three.

I really like this watch. I have no idea how much it'll cost to fix it, which is one reason I've not taken it in... and I'm also sort of afraid that it won't be repairable. Lord knows I've beat the piss outta it for the longest time. But maybe I'll take it to the watch shop when I have all these extra days off. See what the dealio is and how much it will cost to fix it.

And yes... I did spend $500 on a watch. The hope was that the old term you get what you pay for would be true for watches. Before I bought this watch, I was buying $50 (give or take) Timex watches two to three times a year. (Did I mention I'm really hard on watches? Like... really hard?) So, I figured this watch was $500, had a five year guarantee and even if it only lasted 5 yrs, it would equal out to what I'd been spending on watches every year anyway, so why not give it a try? And it's lasted far longer than any of those Timex watches, for sure. But now it's broke. Bummer.

I'm not a person of extravagant tastes or anything, but I really do like watches with busy faces. The gauges, dials, moon phases and all that. I have no idea why. I don't really pay much attention to them (as far as setting them properly goes... I did that once, when I first got this one) I just like the way they look.

Anyway... I suppose I should go. It's almost time for me to start getting ready for work. Yippee skippy. At least the end is drawing near... one more after tonight...


6,248 Posts
I'm so happy! 😁

It's the last one! Then a five day siesta! And my favorite holiday! And... yay!!! 😁 I do have to get through this last night, though. I'm sure it will be ok. Last night, every Tuesday night, is when I do my one day in max... and that's the worst day of the week. 1) I'm not usually over there, so being over there makes me feel out of sorts (not as bad as it did at first, though) and 2) more kids. More kids, more work. Particularly laundry. It's not a lot of laundry, but it is a fucking mess. So much so that Isaiah warned me ahead of time last night.

And even with what he warned me was a lot of clothes? I has missing 3 full sets. So, I had extra... (three shirts in sizes nobody on the unit wears, for one) and then I had to get three full sets of clothes from the laundry room on top of everything else. It's annoying as fuck.

Isaiah said Malachi doesn't bring the extra stuff back to the laundry room anymore, because 1st/2nd shift are just going to go the laundry room and bring it (and more) all back anyway, so why bother? I'm surprised because Mal isn't like that normally. I've seriously considered it... because it's annoying as shit, but I haven't done it yet. Isaiah said the next time he's on the unit, he's going to leave the shit there, too.

What was funny was Cassie working my unit with me the other day when I had suicide watch. She did the laundry and called me out to look at the extra... she needed to go get the laundry cart to carry the extra back. (And remember, I've only got four kids on my unit) She was just... flabberghasted? I don't even know... like... shocked, but like... more than shocked. It was actually somewhat amusing.

There were eight extra sweatshirts. So... eight sweatshirts on top of the 4 (one each) sweatshirts they were supposed to have. So... yeah... there were 3x as many sweatshirts in laundry than there were inmates on the unit. And how does that happen? Because 1st/2nd shift staff just gives them whatever they want. They get a set, that's it. The inmates can't go to the laundry room and get shit... so...

It's one of those things that is ridiculous and annoying, but there's not point in complaining about it because nobody fucking cares. The last time I said something about it Kelly just said I've come to the conclusion that that's just the way it's going to be. In other words, Shut up and quit expecting me to actually do my job! Geeez.

Work was alright. It sent slowly, though. I was thoroughly bored. There's only so much entertainment you can gain at work, I'm afraid. And when you have those same things over and over and over for 18 yrs... well... you know.

I daydream a lot, but I have to be careful of that because I tend to forget what I've done or not done. Did I just daydream through a round? That kind of shit. I need a new job. Like... ASAP. There just isn't much out there.

I do not have a lot of set in stone plans yet for my long weekends of July. One thing I would really like to do is take a photography road trip and go photograph this...

Dignity: of Earth & Sky

I've wanted to do this for a while now, but it's a bit of a drive and when you really only get 1.5 days off as a 3rd shifter, it's kinda hard to squeeze that in. Now I have a chance to do it and I think I just might. It's a bit of a drive for what would probably be maybe 15-20 minutes of photography, but... whatever. I think it's a cool monument/statue/whatever and I want to take it's photo, damn it.

I'll have to see if any my photog friends would be interesting in going. Though I have absolutely no problem going it alone. I'm almost tempted to do just that... because I can. But I'll probably ask around, just because.

There will probably be dog baths involved this month. Definitely vet trips. Gaming, hanging out, alcohol consumption and generally doing whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want. Which is probably the best thing about not having to do the work thing. You own schedule. Seriously... that's like the best thing ever.

Man... this night is draggin' along at a snail's pace. I hope it doesn't continue on through the work stuff. I mean, I'm glad for non work time to drag, I just don't want it carrying over, is what I'm saying. And it's just plain for non work time to drag. Usually that shit's gone in a snap. Weird, man.

Man... went to take a shower, came back and everyone wanted to talk to me all the sudden. I've just spent like... 40 minutes not writing here. Yay. I guess this will be a (reasonably) short (for me) post, eh?

Ah well. That's life, eh?


6,248 Posts
Well. I'm free. Yippee!

Got a few errands to run today. Nothing too exciting, the pharmacy and TSC to get some food for the puppos and some new discs for the wee pup. He's on his last one right now. (He goes through 2-3 every two weeks) He'd be a sad puppy if he broke this one and that was that. (Good thing they're relatively cheap, eh?)

Tomorrow is hanging with the fam for the fourth. Today is just chillaxin' with the puppos... and not being tired. Yesterday was chillaxin' with the puppos after having been up all night. So... yeah. Less charming when it's a million degrees outside, eh? Being really hot and humid and also really tired is not the greatest of combos so we didn't do that for as long as we will today. I do not need a migraine, thanks.

I went to the pharmacy yesterday, mostly to get allergy meds and an elbow squeezer. But I also asked them to call and get my scrip refilled for my migraine meds. I can't just walk in and get those anymore... I have to have the pharmacy call the doc and then the doc has to make a new scrip every time and send it over... blah, blah, blah.

Right pain in the ass it is.

I'm sure glad that fucking people who can't control themselves fuck up shit so other people have to jump through fucking hoops to get the medication they need. Thanks for that, addicts! Fucking dumbass dickholes.

So, since the doc's office never ever ever responds promptly, I have to get my drugs a day after I actually go in to try to get them... and because of the weather and the holiday... I figured I'd get ahead of all that and get the meds even though I don't need them right at the moment.

You know, what I shoud do is just get my scrip filled once a month whether I need it or not and stock pile it at home and fuck the insurance company and all that bullshit. Be my luck, it'd all evaporate or some shit, though. Probably in everyone's best interest to keep doing it this way, even if it is a huge pain in my ass.

But... after today, I'll have my 15 lil doses... just in case.

Talked to RN a bit ago. Well, texted, whatever... we all know I don't talk on no fucking phone if I don't have to... and we've made some plans to hang out on Monday. Chill in the pool and all that fun stuff. Of course, that's three days away and I'm most certainly not holding my breath. It'd be fun, hanging out would be fun, the pool would be delightful in this weather... the big pup would be over the moon to go swimming. (The wee pup wouldn't be going, he'd be terrified... maybe another time, we'll see.)

But history in the past year, year and half has been that this hang outs don't materialize when the time comes, sooooo... I guess we'll see.

Nothing too much else going on here. I'd like to go back to sleep for a while, to be honest. I still feel tired. Got up at 0530 because I couldn't sleep anymore... partly because I was restless (and hungry) and partly because the wee pup wanted to get up and he wouldn't leave me alone. (Tongue in ear, throwing himself on me, pawing my hands, licking my hands, etc.) I get it... he probably had to pee... but still... it's 0530! I wanna sleep in!

I wanna do a few things before we got outside today. Write here a bit and do some other stuff. Realized I was wearing the shirt (yesterday) that I want to wear on the 4th ('Tis patriotic and Celtic), so I had to toss that and what ever other bit of laundry I had in the wash to get that all ready for tomorrow.

Oh, yeah. I have to get Disney Plus today, too. So I can watch Hamilton. I was really hoping it to see it when it came here and... it was coming here and then... here came the 'rona. So... yeah. But, if I get the DP, I can watch it today... with the original cast, yet... and not have to leave my living room. And have way better seats. Live would've been awesome, but it wouldn't have been the original cast... and it would've been nose bleed seats, sooooooooo...

I don't know if I'll keep DP after that or not. Maybe I'll get the bundle with Hulu and whatever the fuck else. I don't really need any of it... but whatever... not like it's expensive or anything like that. Plus options. I case I ever decide to ditch the cable or whatever. (Not likely whilst I own this house and my mom's alive, but... you never know.)

I'm really excited I get to see Hamilton, though. Yay!

The covid-19 is running pell mell through this country. That's fun.

I'm actually in one of very few states where the shit is running out of control or trending upward... be we are steadily being surrounded by states where it is spinning out of control. I don't think that bodes well for us, honestly. We'll see, I guess. It's really quite maddening, if you have to know. I mean... seriously.

There are still people in this state who think the whole thing... still... is a hoax. That it's all lies. It's just like the flu, blah, blah, blah. Because they're fucking idiots... who hang on the every word of another idiot who thinks it's all just going to disappear one day. 🙄

I expect things with covid-19 will get much, much worse before they get better and all of this could quite possibly alter how we live our daily lives, permanently.

If I could afford my own island...

I'd like you all to know that my fucking elbows hurt. Like... a lot. It's driving me mad. They hurt all the time. It's tendonitis, of course. They hurt when I move them, which is all the time. The hurt when I touch them (or they touch something), they ache, they do stabby pains, they freeze up (when they don't move for a while) and... ugh. It fucking sucks. I'm quite over it already.

I'm having surgery. I've not made moves to make it so yet... because I can't do it yet, cuz of Todd at work still hogging up central control... but as soon as he's out or getting near to, I'm going to have to do a consult... because fuck this shit. It's ouchie. A lot ouchie.

It hurts, a fair bit, just to type. Depending upon what fingers I'm moving and how far. That's how bad my tendonitis is... and I don't even have my right elbow on the arm rest because that hurts too much. I don't like it and I'm over it and it fucking needs to go away now. Seriously.

I can't do both of them at the same time, cuz then I'd be all crippled and shit... but it needs to be done. No more fucking around trying to find alternatives 'n shit. Nope. Cut 'em and be done with it. Fuck it.

Anyway. I suppose I should be along now. You all be good.
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