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He burned that fiddle! I just had this vid up yesterday (and that’s how I found out he died. Then I come here today and see this. I saw him years ago and he was phenomena—love when someone taps into duende without even trying.
I got his autograph and everything. It was back when celebs would sometimes to autograph signings at department stores. I think he was in town for a concert, but it's been so long ago, I don't remember. I was about 15, I think. Most of what I remember is that he had such a big damn hat... couldn't see his eyes until you were practically under the thing with him, lol.

I got Gary Burghoff (Radar from MASH) and Buck Taylor (Newly O'Brien on Gunsmoke) autographs on the same day during the same type of deal. Must've been a CBS promo tour or something. I was younger for that one. Burghoff was dressed up as Radar (Buck Taylor came dressed as Buck Taylor, lol... but he was kind of a cowboy anyway)... the only thing I remember is Burghoff being about the same size I was... and I was maybe 10-11 yrs old? Little dude.

I don't think I have any of those old autographs anymore, sadly.


Didn't know Buck was still acting... not surprising since I wouldn't have recognized him. He's a changed a bit since the early 70s! I might've recognized his voice. I'm better at that anyway.

I sure did love Charlie and that fiddle. Sad that he's gone... but that's the way life works, I guess. And the music remains, so there's that.
 

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[Copy from INTP]

I find it striking how these corona 'figures' are just 'figures' that we want the to go down as 'figures' for our own comfort. A second wave is imminent here in Europe, and we collectively sigh and find it frustrating -- but what we seem to forget is that, what goes into these figures, are real human lives (possibly even our own!).
Normally, we mourn single cases. But now, with death feeling more like a concept than a real occurrence, something to rationally digest instead of question with emotion; our reaction seems to represent that of a society of robots more than compassionate human beings.
 

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Ben Keough killed himself a week or so ago. Put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. He was 27 yrs old.

Who is Ben Keough and why do I mention this? Well... Ben is the (only) grandson of Elvis Presley. Why do I mention it? Well. It's sad, innit? I think it's sad when anyone takes their own life... especially a young person. It pisses me off quite a lot as well... but that's mostly when it's older and more established folks... with spouses and children. Young people make me less angry when they do it... and far more sad.

I am not particularly familiar with Ben. I knew his name and who he was... that's about it, until he was dead. It seemed, from what I've read since his death, that Ben just wanted to be a normal boy. And boy normal I mean not the grandson of Elvis Presley. Seems that tag was a bit of a burden... and I 100% believe that. Especially in this country.

I don't know why they came back to the US... the lot of them. They'd been in the UK for a time... and that seemed to be better for everyone. Not being hassled and followed about all the time. Not being recognized... having people like you for just who you are and not who your grandfather was... so... if that's so, why come back?

From what I read, he killed himself whilst seated on the toilet... an homage to his grandfather? I mean, not a pleasant homage, for sure... but surely that's not a coincidence.

We... the people... we create monsters. For lack of a better word. Monsters that start to believe their own hype and, if not particularly mentally stable to begin with, they spiral into all manner of whackadoodle do.

Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson... they immediately come to mind. They get hyped and hyped and hyped... we start to believe, they start to believe it and it just snowballs out of control.

Michael Jackson was more nutso... but more sympathetic. He came by that nutso honestly, his family was fucked up... he was a performing monkey for his father, a cash cow. He was also, by far, more talented than Elvis. Michael wrote songs, Michael sang sons, Michael choreographed and danced.

Elvis gyrated at a time when gyrating was considered obscene. He never wrote a single song. He white washed "race music" (as did other entertainers of that era, such as Pat Boone) and he did all of that in mediocrity. He was, honestly, more of a success for being in the right place at the right time and having just enough talent to pull it off.

I know it sounds like I dislike Elvis. I don't. I enjoy some of his music, I certainly grew up with it as my mom was in love with him. (And a few other performers, of course.) I'm just young enough to have not been caught up in the whirlwind of his beginnings and as such I don't see him through those same rose colored glasses that my mom does. (The same can be said of John Kennedy and the whole Camelot thing...)

Anyway. All that was to say that it's quite unfortunate that someone so young decides to throw it all away. And that the sins of the grandfather can weigh so heavily on that of the grandson. That really sucks.

I photographed her yesterday...

866868


Thankfully, the rest stop was open... it didn't rain whilst we were there and it was 400F outside, either. We had a nice drive up, that went really quickly (considering it was several hours) and a nice ride back that about went the same. In fact, it went so quickly on the way home... that I didn't even realize we were on the last five or so miles until my sis asked if that upcoming intersection was our turn. (I normally travel that way, she does not... and it was.)

I got home early enough to hang out with the pups outside... for about 30 minutes. By then it was starting to get dark and mosquitoes (which my mom, who has her own set of pronunciations, calls muskeettles) and I didn't really want to get bit up and I don't want the skeeters biting the pups either. So... inside we went.

I can't remember what I did. I think I played a bunch of Subsistence. (God that game intrigues me and pisses me the fuck off at the same time.) Eventually, I had a lie about on the couch... watching YT videos of others playing Subsistence... and, of course, I promptly fell asleep without seeing much of anything.

Tonight I have to work. That's fun. It's only a 3 day work week, though... the very last one. Which sucks. I'm struggling to make it through a 3 day week... and I have to go back to 5 day weeks after this one. Ugh.

At least Todd's out of central control so I have tomorrow to sit on my ass and do nothing... first time since November. I am quite fucking tired of working a unit and I've been doing that every day (for the most part) since November. That's what... nine months? That's bullshit is what that is... especially since I'm the only one that got fucked like that and since that fucking was very much intentional.

It's all good, though... I may let people think we're all good and cool and I may be professional... hell, even friendly to those who fuck me over, but I never ever ever forget... but a time will come eventually were I unleash the wrath of the gods down upon those people... and they won't be happy when it happens.

I don't start shit. I finish shit.

I hear we have a new supervisor (female) that was a physical away from being hired. I have no idea when she will start. I guess we'll see what that's all about when she does. Apparently, she's quite smart... has written books and stuff like that. But has no background in what we're about.

So. I wonder a few things; If she's smart, has written books and the like... the fuck is she doing working for us? And, if she's on the up and up (nothing wrong with her), is she just slumming until something better comes along? Is she here doing discrete, but involved research (she's written books, after all) and... yeah. It makes me wonder a lot of things.

The history has been that people who have options don't apply here and if they do, they're gone in less than a year.

We'll see.

Some Elvis drivel...


And they way the song actually goes (and actually makes sense!)... by Big Mama Thornton.

 

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One night down, tonight and tomorrow night to go. I think I'll probably survive. I'm not sure I want to, but I will.

Surviving this work week and the following weekend, means the next time I go to work, I have to go five days in a row. Five whole days. Ugh. I do not wanna. Not even remotely do I wanna. Yuck.

Tonight, I should be in control. I just don't know if I actually will be. When Isaiah first came on my unit last night, I asked him if he missed me (which I've done after every long weekend) and this time he said Actually, hell yes... you would not believe the bullshit going on here.

Well. Do tell.

Apparently, since I've been gone, Natalie has been faking a back injury so that she can sit in central control every night. Because that's what she wants to do... the two days she's already in there aren't enough. She wants to sit in control all night long and read, mostly uninterrupted.

Yes, central control runs the entire building. Nobody does much of anything without control being involved. But on 3rd shift, especially after 1230a (when the janitor leaves) there's just not a lot of movement, so there's nothing really for central control to do... this is why people like being in there a couple times a week. It's a break.

Natalie wants to be in there five days per week. She had even told Sam (former lead supervisor) that's what she wanted to do. Of course, if that were allowed, there'd be an uprising of epic proportion... but that's what she wants. Nobody wants to work a unit, really. And if they do, they prefer to do it only two or maybe three days. Because it fucking sucks ass.

Natalie's current schedule has her working central control two days and being a secondary one day... so she's on the unit only 2 days per week. But she doesn't want to be on them any days of the week... hence the pretend back injury.

I've been working the unit five days a week (for the most part & solidly so since March) since November, when Todd joined the shift with his injured thumb. If I get fucked out of my first central control day in nearly five months because Natalie's being a lazy fuck, I'm going to be exceptionally unhappy.

Otherwise not much going on at work or at home, really. We still have a really low population. Only have my unit is open (no girls!) and I've only five boys. There's not a great deal to do... though I had x2 the amount of clothes come back from laundry than boys... so I had an entire basket full of clothes to return.

Thanks to lazy ass staff who give the inmates anything they want. Always enjoy working behind those people.

I've just been playing Subsistence here at home. The game frustrates me to the ends of the earth. I think that's why I keep addictively playing... because the game keeps kicking my ass and we can't have that! 🖕 😎 And... I've gotten much better. I'm not petrified of the animals anymore. (I may be a little too unafraid, actually!) I've got more things figured out that I have made my life easier. (Somethings I knew and just forgot in my frustration, others where things I discovered along the way.)

I've come across hunters (bad guys) now. I've killed three of them. Two were camped near my house. Can't have that (I found them accidentally whilst hunting a rabbit), killed the first guy outright... his partner had body armour... I had to run home quick for more ammo (to craft) and get a bandage... then I went back looking for the partner. Head shot that fuck... fuck your body armour, bitch. I did take a hit (not a bad one) doing it, but whatever... he's dead.

The second I was running home from a respawn after being killed by an animal and ran right into a hunter camp. Guy was hiding behind a tree, with his back to me, sooooooooooo... I ran up on him and axed him to death. (It was the only weapon I had since it was a respawn) I tried to break into his house, but that was going to take time and there was a wolf that kept creepin' on me... so I just went home. I'll get 'em another day.


I had to call the 911 on the way to work last night. Some asshat in a pickup with Colorado plates tried to change lanes on top of me at 80 mph. Had to slam the breaks and did lay on the horn, too. Fucking asshat. I was going to let that go... but I drove for about another mile and he was all over the fucking road. Couldn't maintain his lane to save his ass... I was afraid he was going to hit someone or do what he did to me and cause an accident. So... I called him in. the State Police called me back, but my phone was on cuz I was at work... I'll call back in a bit and see what the call back was for... most of the time, it's nothing but a courtesy call. We'll see, I guess.

Actually, just tried to call back... the officer is unavailable and the offices are closed. Well... okey dokey then. I'm guessing it wasn't particularly important or they'd have called me back by now, I'm sure. shrugs

There is a thread on one of the local forums regarding a covid 19 vaccine and whether or not people would get vaccinated if there was. Every single person said no. Every. Single. One. Some were being at least a little bit logical, saying that it if it happens soon(ish), they wouldn't trust the vaccine as they would feel it wouldn't have had time to be properly vetted. The rest? Nope. They were absolutely not going to do it. Not living in fear! Has anyone looked into whether or not Dr. Fauci owns stock in these drug companies or who might?

This is why we can't have nice things.

This is also why I miss the internet of old. When not everyone and their brother (mother, father, sister, grandma, grandpa, ad nauseam) had access to the internet. There are some people who are too fucking stupid, too gulliable to be on the internet. Yes... the internet is a wealth of information... it is also a wealth of misinformation. Of conspiracies and other incredibly fucking stupid shit and the gulliable and stupid are not able to tell the difference.

These people hurt my brain. A lot. I cannot even engage with people who are this fucking stupid. Seriously.

Anyway. I should be off to do something more productive. Or game. Whatever. 🤙
 

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I wonder why there are things I dislike or rub me the wrong way when they don't cause any harm. It seems rather petty of me that I'd dislike something I can't even rationalize.
 

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I didn't get knocked out of control. Man, it was weird being in there after so long...

Natalie didn't knock me out cuz it's her night off... else I might've been. So, I guess there's that then. My night should be relatively safe for the time being. I enjoyed the quiet and peace and just chillin' and reading my book.

I may ask if I can be up in there again tonight. My ankle is impinging (or some fucking thing) like a motherfucker. It started before I left work this morning. It actually hurt to drive home (pushing down, like on a gas peddle or pushing off, like taking a step hurt like holy hell) and I thought maybe if I just stayed off it, it'd get over itself, but... nope. I think it's actually worse, to be honest.

Stupid thing.

When you can't really push off when you're trying to walk... it's more difficult to get walking accomplished. It's certainly slower and gimpier. I've worked through it before, because I didn't have a choice with Todd hogging central control for nine fucking months... but damn. It hurts. A lot.

Also... I've been on a unit day after day after day after day after day... for nine months. Maybe I deserve to have a second night, in a row (which I'm not normally going to get) for my troubles.

One of these days, I'll probably have to find out why my ankle is impinging like that and maybe have it fixed. I'm just afraid that it'll end up requiring reconstruction and... ugh. I don't wanna. I don't think ankles ever work quite right again after they're reconstructed... so I'd like to avoid that as much as humanly possible.

And anyway, I need to get my elbows fixed first. As much as my ankle is fucking killing me right now my elbows, especially the right one, hurt far far worse. There's just constant pain. All the time. I'm done with it... have to make that consult call on Friday. Or maybe tomorrow if I can stay awake long enough to get it done.

Also, I need time to psych myself up for a phone call. Because I hate talking on the phone with a passion.

Saw this today... goes back to what I said in my last post.

866907

I'm reading another Jodi Picoult book that I snatched from the school library at work. I have enjoyed all of the books I've read by her... even the ones I didn't think I'd enjoy. I thought, by the description on the back cover, that this was some sappy romance book and I was going to hate it (but I like her writing style so decided to read it anyway) and I was wrong. It's called Salem Falls. Basically, it's about a guy who served jail time for the sexual assault of a teenage girl... who, a short time after release, is accused of the same crime again. Thing is... he was innocent the first time.

I'm to the trial... and it was a page turner... then I had to stop because it was time to go home. Ugh! I'll find out tonight, one way or the other, how it turns out. But it's an interesting read, if you're interested in such things. I think this is the fourth or fifth book of hers that I've read...
 

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MOTM October 2013
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A few days ago, in another online community, people were talking about bullying/emotional abuse vs. physical abuse. People argued over how emotional abuse was so much worse than physical abuse, because it caused suicide! Forced people to kill themselves!

It...pains me to hear that, that people actually believe that. Which sounds dramatic, to say, but...

I had really wanted to reply to that post, but the conversation had moved on, and I think the thread might have actually gotten locked a couple hours after I was looking at it.

So I'm saying what I wanted to say here. Trigger warning, ofc. :p

No one "forces" you to commit suicide. Okay? There's no one holding that knife to your wrist, or putting that rope around your neck. YOU are the one making that decision, ultimately. It's a choice. The same can't be said for a child who's beaten and suffers brain damage or death by someone physically stronger than them, or a person who got into a car or work accident (assuming the accident wasn't caused from their own stupidity, just a sheer chance thing) and now suffers lifelong pain or disability from it.

I say this having been hospitalized for suicide attempts three different times as a teenager, and then going to work in the mental health field after college. I was to blame for trying to commit suicide. Not my abusers. ME.

A lot of people misunderstand suicide as a wish to die. No. It's a wish to not live the life you're living.

But if you don't want to live the life you're living, the answer is to change it. If there's aspects of your life you can't change, like your genetic makeup, then stop worrying about those things--its needless mental garbage by that point--and focus on the avenues that are open to you. There's always at least one that is manageable. You might have to get a little creative, but they're there.

My suicide attempts was caused by my dysfunctional family, some unhelpful mental health crud that runs in the bloodline, and a handful of friends who turned out to be not so; that's all true. But I changed my life by moving out, by working on how I cope with said mental health crud, and by finding new people to hang out with who wanted me to be happy and not just stroke their own egos. It was hard, and frankly it's still a work in progress. But that was more empowering for me than any sympathy card from the rest of society, and did more lasting good than many appointments of therapy and popping pills. I tried those things too--didn't really work out for me.

Only by actually taking responsibility for my own happiness and health really helped me. A lot of people hate to hear that; they see it as blame for the abuse. It's not. It's a call to action. Responsibility is literally Response-Ability. The ability to respond. To choose HOW to respond. Whether or not you caused the situation or were ultimately to blame, you have that choice. An abuser, whoever they are, is not going to change their stripes anytime soon and try to make it up to you or fix you for you. (If they do, that's actually a red flag, depending on how twisted they are.) So stop looking for who to assign blame to and just get the job done. The job: to take care of yourself. Because no one can do that for you. Not the government, not your parents or friends, not your therapist. Not to say those entities can't make that job harder or easier, and sussing out which is which can improve your strategy for moving forward, but at the end of the day...it's just You!

So don't spread the victim BS. You might think it's compassionate and empathetic to think that way, but it's not. It just encourages the real victims to believe they have to circle around and around their misery and hatred even more, like I did.

The way out is through.
 

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I'm running toward the end of my month of four day weekends. Bah.

Working five days a week and having only 1.5 off again is really going to suck ass for the record. I think that was the fastest month in the history of months. Of course. Because I was home doing what I felt like doing most of the time, instead of being tired to that fucking job. Bah. I need to be retired. From this job, at least.

We're in for the evening. Have been outside all day in the heat with the dogs. They were splashing in their wading pool, playing disc and lounging. I was gaming. The day goes along pretty quickly when you're just chillin' and having a grand old time of it.

Got pizza for chow. And wings. And bread sticks. Doubled up on the sticks and wings. Those always seem to go so much faster than the large pizza. I'd like to have little of all of it leftover and I will. Yay! I'm also stuffed to the gills cuz that shit was so damn good.

I do have to go out again in a while. Stopping over at RN's to let the pup out and feed her. I'm going to keep the pup inside after she's done eating, for about an hour whilst I swim. I'd let her out too, but she rolls in the dirt when she's wet... I'm not about to have to be washing a damn dog! Figure I'll swim till it's dark or near to... and then let the pup out once more before I leave.

I have to come back in the morning and let her out again. I won't be staying for a swim tomorrow, though. It's my last day of freedom and I also have a graduation party to go to later on in the day... sooooooooo...

So much to do in what's left of my time. Yikes.

I want this...


Not in yellow, but in "Area 51"... which is a grayish greenish blueish color. (Best I can do for a description!) Two door... I don't need huge honkin' wheels or anything like that. I just want a nice little old school looking truck for getting about in the winter. I have one (not a Bronco)... it's not retro-ish or new... and has nearly 100K miles on it. Whilst it runs fine and all that, that's starting to creep up into mileage that I don't trust for driving long distances.

Particularly distances like that trek I took to the mountains of New Mexico (Taos area) last year. Driving from here to there are 99% desolate... not a great place for a break down, especially since there wasn't any cell reception in a lot of those out of the way, off the beaten path places out in Bumfuck, USA.

And... my mom could use a vehicle. She has one. It's broken. I'm not sure what's wrong with it... besides the fact that it's nearly 20 yrs old and is dying a slow, nickel & dime death. My mom could take my truck... she doesn't go anywhere, but to the grocery and into the city... and we could sell hers off to the highest bidder or junk it out, whatever.

I need to fix my Mustang, too. Bah. Hopefully, it won't be too much longer before I can get that done. I need $9K to get it repaired and road ready again. I've got more than half of that right now... so hopefully before too long. Maybe over this winter. I'm not planning on doing any new Bronco buying straight away anyway... chances are, unless you've already reserved one, you won't be getting one until 2022...

People are silly... on one of the local forums, this lady was pissed because her live in boyfriend's wife is pissed at her. She's pissed off at the wife for being pissed off at her. I find it odd, really. When you're the side bitch and you're pissed off at the actual wife... for being pissed off that you're the side bitch.

They ought to be both pissed off at the dude, me thinks.

I'm not a prude or anything, by any stretch of the imagination, but I really don't get cheating and all that nonsense. If you're married and you want to be with someone else, get a damn divorce. Seriously. Yeah, maybe they're not together together, but they're still married technically. And I'm not sure the wife knew they weren't together together until he started shacking up, from the sounds of the whole thing.

It's rude. And you're violating a contract. I don't get it. I truly don't.

And seriously... if you're the side bitch? You ought not to be complaining about shit.

I dunno. Maybe it's because I have an undramatic family or something. Nobody in my family, even the extended family, has done shit like that. 1) most of them have never been divorced. 2) the ones that have been weren't in another relationship prior to their divorce... and... yeah. I guess I just have a really boring, drama-less family.

I mean, seriously... just 3 divorces out of the entire family (both sides), no crazy people, no drunks or drug addicts, nobody's been in jail, nobody homeless or missing or any of that kind of shit.

And I think that's somewhat unique anymore, mostly because most everyone I know has multitudes of those things. Like my one friend... his mother was divorced once (then married his dad), all three of his sisters have been divorced (one x2), his father is an alcoholic, his mother committed suicide, one of his sisters (the x2 divorced one) married a stripper (that lasted about 6 months) then married a guy who robbed a bank... and that's just his immediate family! I mean... seriously...

I'm glad I'm not in a family that's got so much shit going on. I don't think I could take it. I don't do all that bullshit... and I want no part of it. The last time I had constant drama drama drama, I cunt punted it to the curb. Fuck all that shit. I don't know how people put up with that shit.

Well... I've got to be off soon to look after that pup, so I'm going to split for now. Decided it was a Black Betty kinda night... so here ya go...

 

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Been delving into the crazy parts of Youtube...or maybe not so crazy.

I landed on a transgender Youtube personality who frequently does analysis of trans rights and some of the weirder interpretations of them that she doesn't personally agree with. Her catchphrase is "make it make sense."

And I kind of want to adopt that now. Make it make sense. All these weird extremists on alt-right and alt-left. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. Because it just...doesn't to me, you know. That's why I've been trolling through some dark parts of the Youtube. It's like what this guy did:


I don't understand their logic, and I want to, because I'm told there's logic and compassion in it...somewhere... (and I don't mean the KKK, I mean left and right politics). I mean, I'm still not really seeing the point of some of these political stances, but I'm glad I can still find common ground with some of the thinkers I am finding. Other times I get about a third into the video, and they're discussing it calmly or with flair that is entertaining, but it still comes across as utter baloney. But occasionally I get put back on my heels, like with Coleman Hughes. He looks at the same statistics and yet arrives at different beliefs, beliefs I'd normally consider a bit weird, and it's just WHOA. Okay, man...I'm listening.

I think so far the only thing I've learned is that the truth is never simple, and be careful what you do under the guise of either self defense or good intentions. There are so many fiddly little factors that go into these controversies, and trying to affect one of those factors may send 10 others into imbalance, hurting just as many people, if in different ways.

Taking a step back, it's rather fascinating. All the stuff for a scientific or philosophical mind to analyze for a lifetime. Stepping back in, it's frankly a bit terrifying, the policies we are trying to vote in based on no real understanding of these complicated dynamics, or in some cases, after feeding on just a lot of propaganda crap from one side or the other.

Anywho....in other random news, I looked up a 1700's philosopher's books on Amazon. There's an option to follow him on social media. So this guy that's been dead for at least two centuries. I'm...I'm dying here. The true meaning of ghost writer? Hahaha.
 

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Been delving into the crazy parts of Youtube...or maybe not so crazy.
Have you been on of the incel stuff on YT? Good grief...

Though I feel badly for some... there's an Indian (I think) boy from Oz who's vids I watch once in a while. I feel badly for him... he's just... I don't even know. This guy...


~~~

The fun is starting with Todd now that he's actually having to do work instead of sitting in control on his ass... which is what he did for nine months... for a thumb injury. THUMB. (I was in less for knee surgery and rotator cuff surgery...)

I told Isaiah how he was. I told him about the laundry back in the day. How Todd would pitch an absolute fit if he had to fold the towels for his unit. (Not kidding... he'd act like you murdered his children... scream/yell/kick shit/go to the supervisors and bitch. Then spend weeks stomping around in a hissy.)

I'm not sure if Isaiah believed me or not. I mean... since Todd's been on the shift and working control, he's been real chill and easy to get along with (not normal) and mostly happy (also not normal)... and Isaiah was spending a lot of time in control for breaks (before/after) and chatting with Todd. So... yeah, I don't think he was seeing it. But... I told him... he's a smart boy, Isaiah... but he still takes things with a grain of salt if he actually hasn't experienced it himself, which... is totally fair. (It's pretty much how I roll as well... though if I hear from multiple people you're an asshole, my benefit of the doubt may swing a bit against you, eh?)

So... last night Isaiah comes in around 1230a... and he's like... You were right. You're absolutely right. He's already started it. I wasn't sure what he was referring to because I'm always right and therefore... there's a list, eh? 🤙 So I asked him and he told me it was Todd and the laundry.

He said that when he brought Todd his laundry that Todd told him that he (Isaiah) had filled the washer too full and therefore the clothes weren't clean. Now... mind... Todd wasn't in the laundry room at any point in time. He was on his unit. (And this is the exact reason he would cry if he had to fold towels. If they came back to him unfolded he assumed, correctly, that they were washed with the rest of the whites on the unit... and he would declare this to be too much for the washers to handle, therefore none of the whites were clean. Never mind that you could put both me and Isaiah into one of those washers and maybe still have room for a kindergartner. The real reason was he didn't want to fold the towels. He wanted the secondary to do that and deliver them to him.)

Isaiah said that he told Todd that the washer was not over full and that the clothes were clean and that's the way the clothes were going to be done and if he didn't like it, he could do his own fucking laundry. (He also said that Todd had been hinting at it the previous night as well.)

And then we both watched Todd (off and on) for the rest of the night and he moped and whined... called Kelly (right after Isaiah left... we watched him do it from my unit) and wouldn't talk to either one of us the rest of the night.

All I had to say to Isaiah was that I told him so. Isaiah said he couldn't believe a grown ass man would cry so damn much of shit that was insignificant. I told him to hold onto his hat, cuz it was going to get worse. I told him I hope that it got bad enough (to Todd) that he'd leave the shift. I can tolerate him when he's being relatively normal, but I do not like him and never have. And my patience for his existence on this planet, let alone my shift, gets very short the minute he starts acting like a spoiled two year old.

Natalie was also moping around like someone pissed in her Cheerios as well. Because why not?

I applied for another job. With state probation... it's a interstate compact transfer blah, blah, blah person. Seriously, I don't remember all the words involved in the title! What that's all about is that you do a lot of research, paperwork and managing to make sure that things are done properly within the interstate compact as it involves adult and youthful offenders. Interstate compacts, if you don't know, are cooperation between a state (or group of states more likely) that work together on various things... this would obviously be parole. And this exists when someone from another jurisdiction has committed and crime and is placed on probation, but returns to their state of origin... the compact ensures that both states involved are acting together and cooperatively to ensure the probation is dealt with as it should be...

Something that would be right up my alley, honestly. I don't know a lot about the interstate compact as it involves probation, but figuring it out wouldn't be too hard, I suspect. And keeping up on everything... doing paperwork and what not... that's sorta my wheelhouse... I love paperwork. (I truly do... I have no idea why.) I like gathering information, I like report writing and all that stuff. Yup.

Pays nearly what I make now... well, kinda. In the grand scheme, anyway. It's about a $4 hrly pay cut, though. But... yeah... that wouldn't hurt me much. (At all, really) So... it's all good. I mean, I was considering taking as much a $10-$12 hrly pay cut... so in the grand scheme... this is pretty good.

So... now we wait. The application process closes this week, so I'm guessing it's going to be another week or two after that before they start doing anything. I'm pretty sure the job I applied for with the city school system is a bust... it's been a couple weeks since it closed and school starts in about two weeks... and nada.

Oh well. I expected as much. Not like I've been having great luck in this job finding endeavor, after all.

I've been playing a lot of Subsistence on pc... (early access on Steam)... man it's tough. It's very lopsided currently... the struggle to stay alive is real. Especially at first when you don't know what the fuck you're doing. On my laptop game, I've just hit hard winter... my lake that I'm built (sorta on) has frozen over. No more water, fish, kelp... obvious food stables that were easy to get. It's so cold outside, I can barely stay out long enough to get the wood I need to keep my fire burning in my house to stay warm... let alone hunt anything.

I have a small animal trap. Just got my last rabbit from that. Last because I have no more (fruit/veggy) bait... I wasn't getting much of anything ('tis winter) and what I got I had to eat to stay alive.

It's only December. I think I'm in trouble. :cool:
 

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Ah....

My last night. Also my last short work week. Bah. Only two days off this week... well, the standard 1.5 of 3rd shifters, anyway. Man... that's going to suck... about the time I get chill and relaxed, it'll be time to go back... and work for five days in a row. Bah. Icky.

Oh well. Until something else comes along...

If my mom weren't with us right now, I think I'd just retire without a job and wing it until I found something. Pay off the house, bank the rest of the money and look for a job then... but then reality tells me that I've been looking for a job for three years and I've gotten exactly one interview... and zero job offers, soooooooooooo...

That probably wouldn't work out, either, eh?

Whaddya do? Just keep on pluggin' away, that's what. Like... what choice, eh?

My advice to young people on jobs is pretty much this... 1) Do something you like... even if it doesn't pay much. Money ain't the end all be all. 2) If you decide at any point that whatever job you currently have sucks (for whatever reason) leave immediately. Don't be hanging around thinking things will get better. They won't... and the longer you stay, the worse leaving is going to be, for a multitude of reasons. 3) Work smart, not hard. It has been my experience, in my 56 yrs, that hard work doesn't get you a goddamn thing. Well... dumped on, it'll get you that... it'll get you doing your job and everyone else's, for the same pay. Or... you could end up like my mom was who was fired from a job of 17 yrs because she did her job too well. (True story, she was fired for making other employees look bad.) 4) Look out for your own best interests... you're employer sure the fuck won't.

Yes... there are companies and employers that treat their employees very well. They are few and far between, however, and most of us are never going to work for one of them. That's just a fact.

I got sucked into this job by the money. I doubled my salary from my previous employer by taking this job. When you've always been on the low end of the wage earning totem pole... that's fucking awesome. But... it really hasn't been worth it, in the end. Obviously... I mean, I'm willing to take a $10-$12 hrly or so pay cut just to get the fuck outta this job... so, yeah.

Telling young people that hard work will lead to success... it's such bullshit. That's not going to be the case for most people. They'll work hard, they'll struggle to get by and yeah... that'll be it. Not saying that they still won't be happy. I'm not unhappy 99% of the time... it's only when I'm at work that I'm not happy... or when work interferes with my life, that I'm not happy. The rest of the time, I'm chill as fuck. 🤙

18 yrs ago today, this happened...

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On July 29, 2002... I was driving my happy ass to work when I get t-boned by a fuckwit at highway speeds (no braking)... right in the driver's door. Good times, I tell ya. (Actually... I don't really recommend such things... they hurt.)

The fuckwit, of course, was an uninsured, no job having, criminal douche canoe who was driving despite his license being revoked for 15 yrs due to having done the same thing to someone else. (That driver was dead on the scene, however he was revived by EMS personnel. He spent 72 days in a coma... I know, because he called me because he was so pissed off that this criminal fuckwit had hurt someone else after hurting him.)

I didn't make it to work that night, obviously. I didn't make it back for a couple of weeks. I was in so fucking much pain... my hair hurt. (Because my scalp was so bruised, my hair moving hurt like holy hell.) I fucked up a knee and shoulder (both left side, of course) and had bruises in places where... I have no idea. (Backs of the thighs, for instance) My right arm took most of the impact of the airbag as I tend to drive the Mustang(s) with my right arm across the wheel (hand at about 10).

The air bag deployed and wrapped fully around my arm, the sides snapping together on the top of my forearm, My entire arm was bruised, (all the way 'round) and there was an 8" welt that was about 1/4" or so high (where the two sides of the bag snapped around) that hurt like holy hell. It took about 6.5 months for that welt to go away...

I'm really glad the airbag hit my arm and not my face. I had already taken a blow to the noggin'... that would've just compounded getting help for myself...

Oh yeah... I forgot to say that the fuckwit who hit me dipped. Left me trapped in my car and ran off into the sunset.

And I was trapped. I was hit so hard that the impact ripped the seat out of the floor. All four bolts. And the seat turned a little sidewards... and... the dash collapsed due to the damage to the A pillar... so my left leg was pinned on three sides... the door pushed in one the left, the steering column on the right and the dash fell on top of it... there was no way for me to get out. I mean... without really hurting myself even more. If there had been a fire, I'd have found a way... cuz the alternative would not be acceptable.

It took me several tries to remember how to operate my phone. And when I did finally get a call in to 911... I couldn't remember where I was. They sent deputies out to search for me. I relayed things to 911 as I started remembering them... I never fully remembered where I was, but I didn't have to... the deputies finally found me.

A guy stopped before the deputies found me. I think he was far more scared of the situation than I was. (I know he was... I wasn't scared. I was in a lot of fucking pain... and I was really pissed off that my car was fucked up.) Thing is... in my altered state, I never asked him where I was... would've been helpful info, eh?

He came down and held my hand for a few minutes. I didn't need him to do that, but I appreciated it and let him. I think it made him feel better, honestly. I don't know who he was... as soon as the deputies showed up he left. I wish I knew who he was, though. He didn't really know what to do, but he still did something... even if it was just the kind gesture of holding my hand.

The one thing that I learnt during this endeavor, which for me lasted 25 months (between injury, surgery, recovery, physical therapy and fighting with my own insurance company...), ended for everyone else after about two weeks. It was, at the time, kind of a tough pill, you know?

Here's the deal, though... the trauma (physical & otherwise) of the accident, for you, may last months, years, hell... you're entire life time. But for everyone else? Assuming you're in my boat where you're not dead or in jeopardy of becoming that way anytime soon, for everyone else that shit ends in about two weeks. Done. Over. That's that.

I learnt this by talking. I wanted to talk about it. My memory would come back in bits (not all of it ever did, mind you) and I also figured out things (like the "wheat" I saw after impact was actually the air bag... and all the people I heard on the road talking were media, law enforcement, etc.) and... I was still traumatized. I wanted to talk and vent and tell people what I felt and what happened and what I remembered and what I didn't...

And... people were cool with that. For about two weeks. After that? Well... they didn't say shut up or stop talking about it or anything like that... but the minute I did start talking about, their eyes would glass over... there'd be no response from them at all... like I was talking to a wall, more or less.

So. I just stopped. I needed to talk. I wanted to talk. But nobody wanted to listen. Fortunately, I had my blog at that time... so I wrote what I wanted to say. And, probably, my readers didn't want to hear about it, either... and maybe they just did a quick run through and went on their way... but at least it seemed like someone was listening. (A comment now and then, eh?) Which was more than I was getting anywhere else, soooooooooo...

I don't blame anyone for it. I'm not mad at them. Disappointed a bit maybe, but I find people disappointing on a regular basis so... no shocker there. But I remember... and next time, I just won't bother to talk about it unless someone asks. Save us all a bit of time and effort, eh?

And... if someone I know is ever in my situation... I'll remember to listen, even when I'm damn tired of hearing about it. Listen's free, right?

Anyway...

My bil is currently in the hospital. He got a ride from medical transport cuz of his back... he couldn't get in any other type of vehicle. He ruptured a disc and some other shit I'm not sure about at the moment. He might have to have surgery. They admitted him to the hospital because he'd have to get medical transport home... then he'd have to get medical transport back to be further evaluated and... why? Just stay and get it over with...

He has a terrible spine. He had a high cervical spine fracture when he was in high school. The only reason he's not a ventilator dependent quadriplegic is because the fracture broke away from the spinal cord instead of toward. (He's also lucky he still didn't end up that way since the podunk hospital he was taken to didn't know his c spine was fractured and he was going around with a broken neck and nobody knew until the pain became too much and they took him to one of the city's in the hospital... where he got fitted with a halo.)

His spine just gets worse and worse and worse every year. That's caused him to be obese... which has caused his spine to decline further. Vicious circle, that.

I hope they figure out something for him. He's in pain most of the time and I know how that goes. It sucks.

Well... think I'm going to mosey on along. Almost time to go to work. The sooner that's done, the sooner my days off begin... so... yeah.

Cheers
 

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MOTM October 2013
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Have you been on of the incel stuff on YT? Good grief...
Haha, no, no incels yet. Some of the so-called "Intellectual Dark Web" and also random interviews and segments from various news sites.

Though I also landed on this channel:


Though I don't agree with all her points and positions (though I think, perhaps intentionally, she's very unclear on what her position is, instead portraying a montage of the positions out there, with varying levels of satire), I have to say, I love how she presents them. Just be prepared with the brain bleach if you watch her video on Jordan Peterson. I still haven't recovered fully from that one... :eek:
 

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Feeling tired and gross even though I just woke up. Think it'll be a good evening for Netflix... or YouTube gaming videos or something like that. Lie about like a slug and just chill.

We'd be outside, but it spent most of the day raining. I don't want to bathe muddy ass dogs tonight, so there'll be no outside tonight. Maybe by tomorrow, if it does rain anymore tonight. The wee pup is quite disappointed... he's so used to being able to go out and have a good play every day. Poor guy doesn't understand the reasons behind not being able to do so... being a dog and all that.

Work was... meh.

Yesterday and again last night, we got boys in for attempted murder. One drove up on a dude and shot him, one stabbed a dude several times. With these two joining the rest of our youthful offenders, our murder/attempted murder inmates now make up nearly 25% of our inmate population.

That's the highest I've ever seen it.

It's not so much that violent crime has risen in the city (though it has this year, quite a lot, too) but likely has more to do with the fact that our overall population numbers are far lower than they've been in the past (not as many kids, by law, being put into jail + covid 19 now) + delinquent youth being more violent in the past. So... put those things together... less kids, in general, in jail + kids being more violent, in general and... you get higher percentages of murder/attempted murder cases being in our facility.

What's odd to me is the legislation... at this point, our facility is really nothing more than a teen daycare center with cells that kids are locked in at night. There are virtually no consequences, at all, for their behavior whilst in our facility. Don't want to follow the rules? Spend 10-30 minutes in your cell. Assault another inmate or staff? Spend no more than one hour in your cell. (State law now prohibits locking youth in their cell for more than an hour as "punishment" for behavior.

So... yeah. The monkeys now fully run the zoo. And, they know it. They do what they damn well please and we are really only there to make sure they don't kill themselves or someone else. If it's not one of those two things? They can do whatever and there are zero consequences.

And they wonder why more kids are out doing murders and rapes and armed robbies? 🙄

I read a book. Another Jodi Picoult book. I think the one I'm now is the last one... not the last one she's written, I'm sure, but the last one that our facility school has in it's library. I believe it's called Second Glance... it's about ghosts, more or less. Much different than the other books I've read... but it's still an interesting story, I guess. Better than being bored spitless, eh?

I need a new tablet for work. Mine's like... 100 yrs old... but it still works. It's power cord, however, has bit the dust. I can't find anyone who makes a replacement for it anymore, so... I think I'll have to buy something else. I'm just not sure what I should get... something cool and expensive or something relatively cheap? Decisions, decisions.

I'd kinda like to get one of those Microsoft... whatever their called, lol. Surface? I wanted one when they first came out, but thought I'd wait until they had all the bugs worked out. I just haven't priced one in forever, so I have no idea how much one would cost. I probably don't want to spend a whole lot... might be outside of a favorable price range.

Herman Cain, a former republican presidential candidate has died from complications of covid 19. A lot of the folks around here are boo hooing over that. I am not one of them. I have no sympathy for people who choose to be willfully ignorant. Particularly if you're actively encouraging others to participate in your stupidity.

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Does make me wonder if he's... somewhere... and now thinking... Well, fuck.

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough...

Anyway... think I'm off to do some tablet research before hitting the couch for the night for some Netflix.
 

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For the past several weeks my life has revolved around constantly reading and replying to emails, day in day out. Well not so much on weekends. But certainly through the working week.

I am reminded of the quote attributed to Seleucus Nicator, the founder of the Seleucid empire:

"Certainly monarchy, the most perfect and greatest of all political offices, has the most cares, burdens, and obligations. Seleucus, it is said, would constantly repeat that if people only realised what a great task it was just to read and write so many letters, they would not even pick up a diadem that had been discarded."

Plutarch, Old Men in Public Affairs, 11.

I relate to that so much lol. It is indeed a great task just to read and write so many emails. And because I relate to that, that makes me the exact same as a Macedonian emperor

There is an absolutely WILD quote later on in that section. He's talking about whether old men should give up public office. I suppose that's somewhat relevant to the modern US, what with two men in their seventies contesting the federal election, and with the only important politician in the country worth anything also being in his 70s (that's the GREAT BERNIE SANDERS I'll have you know!). Anyway, Plutarch says that young men shouldn't retire from public life when they get old because they have wisdom and experience and no longer have insane ambitions and impulses on account of their youthfulness. But what made me chuckle was the analogy he used to illustrate the point. Plutarch wrote that someone giving up public life after getting old is "deserting it like a woman of whom he has had all the use." That's savagely misogynistic! I would like to give him a break because he was writing 1900 years ago and you can't exactly expect somebody from that time period to be much of a feminist, but still, god damn it's shocking to see a sentence like that today!
 
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Watched Cloud Atlas again today for maybe the 25th time? Haha. Cried, and felt another cry with me. That movie has most certainly transcended boundaries for me on a soulful and spirit level. Still waiting for my Twin Flame....
 

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How the fuck do you stalk on platform you don't even visit. By the way, did you know that falsely accusing others of crimes they didn't commit is a criminal action?






That person may face their own criminal charge for a false accusation to law enforcement officers. In Texas and in other states, filing a false report of a crime is a crime in itself. In some cases, it's a misdemeanor, and in others a felony.



I plan on using the full force of the law here
 

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Also to the person hosting the triXXXXX... site; I see you updated your domain within the last few days. It's too late, I already reported your shit to the FBI, update it all you want, it doesn't matter. I also wonder what Verizon would think of you using their trademark. To whoever is phishing my personal email, you're next.

You all better hope to God you're not hosting a platform for grooming, raiding, and/or sex traffiking, as well.
 

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Also to the person hosting the triXXXXX... site; I see you updated your domain within the last few days. It's too late, I already reported your shit to the FBI, update it all you want, it doesn't matter. I also wonder what Verizon would think of you using their trademark. To whoever is phishing my personal email, you're next.

You all better hope to God you're not hosting a platform for grooming, raiding, and/or sex traffiking, as well.

Yes! Finally someone is having some blood in her veins. Thats a proper attitude of someone with character. Shoot them in their balls with a nail gun and then put a cork in the butthole if shit like sextrafficing victims were taken from PerC. Ill consider leaving my agriculture project for some action with buttcorks and where that leads to when ever the possibilities arise.

Just that please do consider this, if the leader of a institution is chosen by how bribeable, constrainable or threatable he is, then its not just possible but probable too that the ones he has beneath him will follow the same hollow code of conduct aiming to dodge anything socially valuable such as me or you complaining about the injustices of this world.

As if you havent noticed, no one really anylonger cares about a normality, just money and ego.

And that is why the natural disasters and all the social illness is increasing. But I still got a thrill about your fiestiness. Way to go.
 

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Yes! Finally someone is having some blood in her veins. Thats a proper attitude of someone with character. Shoot them in their balls with a nail gun and then put a cork in the butthole if shit like sextrafficing victims were taken from PerC. Ill consider leaving my agriculture project for some action with buttcorks and where that leads to when ever the possibilities arise.

Just that please do consider this, if the leader of a institution is chosen by how bribeable, constrainable or threatable he is, then its not just possible but probable too that the ones he has beneath him will follow the same hollow code of conduct aiming to dodge anything socially valuable such as me or you complaining about the injustices of this world.

As if you havent noticed, no one really anylonger cares about a normality, just money and ego.

And that is why the natural disasters and all the social illness is increasing. But I still got a thrill about your fiestiness. Way to go.
Ehm well. I dont have any reason to believe that sex traffiking is occurring on personalitycafe. I haven't been here for very long, and I actually enjoy the staff here a lot; they seem really friendly and reasonable; wicker has great insight and helpful advice. So I want to say that I do not believe that personalitycafe is involved in anything like that; but I haven't been here long.

Regarding immoral individuals, etc. I've tracked down and shut out actual hackers, and I'm not talking about a member from another area, and so I'm really not worried about it.


But yeah corruption and greed is bad :(
 
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