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The end of the days off is drawing near. Le sigh.

I'm going to get my zombie skin put in my mouth in September. That'll be fun. I've one tooth where the gum has decided to detach itself completely. This is a bad thing, of course, cuz stuffs can get all up there under the gum and cause ickiness and all manner of troubles I don't feel like having to deal with, sooooooooooo...

Yeah. Getting some cadaver meat stitched in. Sounds fun, eh?

I put in for an extra day off, medical, for that. Do I need it? Probably not. Am I going to take it anyway? Yes I am. I'm not sure if I've got to have someone to drive me in and back or not. I don't know how high they're expecting to get me... or whatever. I know it's going to hurt... how could it not? But... I don't think it'll be too bad. We'll see, I guess.

I put in for the night before off... which... elsewise I'm going to be going into the whole thing tired as fuck. Also, there's no guarantee that I wouldn't get held over for mot, either, so it's best to take the eve of it all off. Just to be safe. I was half tempted to take the Saturday after off as well... but I don't want to use anymore sick leave. I could give it a go for vacation time, I suppose. Maybe I'll do that.

I was looking at an article at Corrections One and there was a poll there about facility staffing. As in, what level do you consider your agency staffing to be? Fully Staffed, Adequate, Short Handed or Crisis Shortage were the choices. Unsurprisingly, the results played out as such;

Fully Staffed ~ 2%, Adequate ~ 6%, Short Handed ~ 38%, Crisis Shortage ~ 54%.

So... by a poll of correctional officers, 54% of correctional facilities are in crisis standing as far as staffing goes and 38% are short handed... meaning 92% of correctional facilities (by this poll) are understaffed, most critically so.

I'm not surprised. We are critically short and I answered as such... and we're not likely to get back to anything but short handed. And it's not just that people don't want to do the job. A lot of people don't and that's understandable, it's not a job for just anybody to step into certainly.

The main reason we will not ever be fully staffed is the government entity we work for is never going to allow us to hire enough people to be fully staffed. They're not going to do it. We need... about 12 additional people to be fully staffed in our facility. (Well... 9 more people as 3 have been hired) What we're likely to get is about half of that. Maybe a bit less than half of that.

It'll be enough to move us from critical staffing to short handed (by this poll's terminology) but nothing more.

If you really, really need a job, kids... corrections in your area is hiring, I guarantee it. I'm not saying everyone should go hire on, as I said, it's not the job for everyone. And in some areas, the pay really isn't very good at all (and other places it's quite nice... depends up Federal/State/Local entity and the area where you live.), I'm just saying if you're in desperate need of a job... and you think you can handle it, corrections is in desperate need of staff, sooooooo...

I've spent the day today patio perching with my home dogs. From 0830 this morning until 5p & chow time. It was quite warm... there were times I wasn't sure I was going to be able to stay out there... but it wasn't terrible. Not as bad as it's been of late. (It's been so hot/humid here that my southern friends were shocked that we were worse than them.)

I was concerned today due to the smoke in the air. Air quality was very poor today between a high pollen count and mucho smoke from the fires in the western US. It looked like fog outside... but it was smoke. All. Day. Long. It didn't bother me too much, though. I did have a few sneezing fits and what not... but it wasn't overly stressful on my allergies. I think if I had asthma it might've been a problem, but... I don't. (My bil, nephew and niece all have asthma, though.)

Because of my all day patio perching adventure, I have two very tired doggos right now. Both crashed the fuck out. Tired puppos are good puppos, for sure.

And... yes, they were out all day with me. Me and the big pup, we cool of with water... he likes to be squirted with the house, so I doused him every time I filled their water dish, which was every couple hours or so. (Whether the dish was empty or not, to make sure they had cold water available) The wee pup is not a fan of water, but he was hydrating. There is ample shade and whilst I threw the disc all day for the wee pup, the tosses were much further spaced so as to not overheat the wee guy.

Even though the weather was a bit warmish, I try to make sure they get good play and outside time on my days off, because soon it will be too damn cold to be sitting outside with them and they'll get little outside time to play and hang out. We take what we can get whilst we can still get it, is what I'm saying.

It's fixing to storm on us soon, from the looks of the radar. And wind on us. Not terrible wind, but enough. I knew that was coming, they've been saying it for a couple of days. I made sure to put patio chair as close to the garage as possible so it hopefully stays reasonably dry if the wind blows the rain around. My chair is the only one with padding, so... wet is bad. Don't need no soggy asses!

 

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Well.

Lacey called this morning (at work) to see if I would grab something she'd forgotten and put it Alex's box (something she'd borrowed & had forgotten to return) so that Alex wouldn't kill her today... and I said I absolutely would do that.

And then I told her that I'd heard that she had applied for supervisor... which would be a good, Lacey's good and basically runs the shift half the time as it is. She asked me how I knew that she applied and I told her Rita (Good old gossip girl!) told me. She asked how Rita knew and I said I didn't know... because I didn't know. (Hard to say, honestly.)

And then Lacey told me she didn't get the job. Which... I was quite literally shocked because she should be a shoe-in. She should've walked right into that job with out a single problem. It should've been overwhelmingly in her favor to give her the job. But... they did not.

They gave one of the supervisor positions (we have two open... had... Autumn & Owen's positions) to Cooper. Cooper... the 24 yr old boy with no experience that they literally just hired like... two weeks ago. (He has some corrections experience with the military, but that's it.) So... they gave this job to Cooper, who's been in the building for about 15 seconds, instead of giving the job to Lacey, who's done the job and done it well for 12 yrs.

And the other supervisor position went to someone from outside the agency.

So. To say that Lacey wasn't happy would've been an understatement. She said she wasn't mad... but... yeah, she kinda was. At the very least, she was hurt and felt betrayed. Very betrayed. She is now actively seeking employment elsewhere and already has one interview set up for this week. The minute she gets another job, she's gone.

And she told this to Brett... who got mad about it, because he can't really afford to lose her because, like I said, she quite often runs the shift in his absence (even if there are other supervisors present because some of our supervisors don't know how to run shit, basically) and he thinks she's like... doing something rash over something minor, basically.

But she said she told him that this rejection was what she needed. To know that there's no support for staff, no opportunities for (certain) staff and that she needs to get the fuck out, so that's what she's going to do.

She's not mad at Cooper... or the random stranger that got the other supervisor's position... but, you know, that's a pretty big slap in the face. I thought for sure she would get the job. Like... not a fucking doubt in my mind. And... here we are. (And they wonder why people quit? Eejits.)

She also told me that the two new female staff we just hired (after Cooper... so like a week ago?) already hate the job and want to quit. She heard one of them loudly pronounce Fuck this job! whilst walking out a couple of days ago. It probably won't be long before they leave, too... and then we're back to where we started, aren't we?

I also don't think Cooper will stay... maybe 6 months to a year, if that. He wants to go into law enforcement and if he's a smart boy (and he seems to be), he'll ride out this supervisor gig for a while to get that supervisory shit on his CV and then get the fuck out and move on to something better. Because pretty much anything is better.

I found another job to apply for.... with the police dept. I just applied for this same position maybe a month or so ago... and I just applied for it's counter part in the sheriff's dept. this past Friday. I've applied for both positions multiple times and haven't gotten much for it. I did get the phone interview with the sheriff's dept., but that's it.

Again... positions with high turnover... yet they won't give me a chance. That's some fucked up shit, yo.

Nothing I can do about it, but keep applying, though. So that's what we do. Yay.

Our population (inmate wise) is extremely low right now... which is happiness! I knew it would be so because during last Wed night's shift briefing Owen said that seven inmates were leaving in the next 48 hrs. Like... hell yeah. Only six left, though... one isn't leaving until the 9th of this month, apparently. (Seems his family decided to go on vacation and decided to leave him in jail until they returned. He's 13, by the way... seems a bit cruel to me, but I've seen a lot of shit like that in the past. I mean, it's quite possible they need the break from him, but still man... damn.)

I spoke with Joe a little bit last night about shit that's happened and how he can't trust the other supervisors... because he can't trust the other supervisors... and we got on to Autumn and stuff. And I told him that I'd heard she'd filed a lawsuit against the agency for hostile work environment and Joe thought about that for a minute and then said that Autumn would have a good case for it if she did.

He did not elaborate, but he said that she was constantly getting written up for shit other supervisors did and that she apparently got a metric shit ton of very nasty emails from various supervisors, including Marisala. He also said that Autumn had told him that she had talked to Brett one day... because she really respected Brett, that he had served in the military and the way he did things and what not... only to have Brett tell her, to her face, that he didn't think much of her.

Well... goddamn.

Joe said this really hurt her feelings and made her feel like a failure. Well... no wonder she quit. I mean, she needed to quit, I said that all along. It wasn't the right environment for her, she should've probably never been hired in the first place, honestly. And... we on 3rd shift... we fucking warned her. Over and over and over and over. We told her right up front... this is how this place is... be prepared and watch yourself.

It's kinda like in boxing, where the referee guy tells the boxers before the fight to protect themselves at all times. We basically told her that, in not so many words... and she didn't.

I hope she did file suit. I doubt that she'd win... but it's be good to put a bug up their asses, at least.

I spent about... four hours last night at work looking for jobs to apply for... I found about... two or three? There were a metric shit ton of jobs. But the vast majority of them paid from $8 hrly to $15 hrly... and whilst I might become desperate enough to eventually go after $15 hrly jobs, that day is not today. That's... nearly cutting my income in half and I can take a cut, but that's getting right to the bone. I don't want to live that close to the bone, thanks.

The engine light on my truck came on last night. That's always fun. My dad is going to make an appt. to get that looked out come tomorrow. (Make an appt... I don't know if they'll be able to get it in tomorrow or not.) I don't really like having to drive it with the engine light on, but... I don't have a choice in the matter.

I hope it's something minor. I don't want to deal with expensive bullshit and to be honest, the truck isn't worth all that. I wouldn't want to put a shit load of money into a vehicle that's worth less than the repairs. That's stupid. But I also don't want to go out and buy a brand new vehicle right now, either... if I don't have to. (I was aiming at maybe next year...)

Le sigh. It's always something innit?

 

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The engine light on the truck was minor. Seems I may soon need a new fuel filter. They reset the light and said I was good to go for now, but that changing the fuel filter would be a thing down the road. We'll see how long it takes.

I'm glad it wasn't anything bad. I didn't think it was because the truck's running fine, not doing anything to suggest something was quite broken or fixing to die or something like that. But... you just never know with new tech, eh? I mean... newer tech. Truck's not even remotely new (2009 model)... but you know what I mean.

Doug was offered a job in the city school district as a janitor. He was going to accept today (he was waiting on hearing back from another job he applied for, but this job needed a yay or nay by today) and put in his two weeks notice as well.


Such a fun place. Technically, his leaving drops us two staff... since Cooper is now going to be a supervisor instead of a staff and Doug is leaving. We're back to being under skeletal again. And I don't know if they're working on hiring on anyone else at the moment.

They had another guy after these two girls they hired (that already want to quit) and they let him go before he finished training because he couldn't get to work as his vehicle was always breaking down. The job... stuff... requirements state quite clearly that you must own a dependable/working automobile. Clearly he did not.

Also... I dunno about you, but if I'm just starting a new job, that pays well above what most jobs in the area pay, I'd find a damn way to get to work until I got my car fixed. Phone a friend, an Uber, a cab, ride the fucking bus (gross, but whatever) ride a bike... something. You can just keep calling in because your car doesn't run, bro. Not the very first week you're employed. That's not going to win you any favors in any job.

In other news...

Hmmmmm... not sure I have any other news, really. My life, outside of the work bullshit, is quite calm and serene. I don't do drama... or human beings, quite honestly... so there's nothing to be going on about, really. My dogs frustrate me sometimes, but... they're my homedogs, so... we don't ever stay mad at the puppos. And they're generally not naughty, thankfully. They're good bois.

Just... surviving till the next set of days off, really. Getting ready for football season. I looked at the schedule last night at work on my phone and thought the first game was this Friday. About shit myself, cuz I had noooo idea. Then I looked again this morning on my pc (because I thought it seemed way early to be starting the season) and discovered I'd read the month wrong. Next month... at the beginning... that's when the season starts. And the first game seems to be an away game, so... we'll not be shooting that one.

I'm really not even sure if I'm going to be allowed on the field. I'm not going to ask this year, because we're not all in lock down and stuff. I'm just going to do what I did when I started 13 or so years ago; Show up and act like I'm supposed to be there. (All these years, they thought I had a press pass. :p) Hopefully, they'll forget about not having a press pass and just... well, you know... pay me no mind.

The coaches want me on the field, the parents want me on the field, the boys want me on the field. Fuck the athletic director. That's how I see it. I do this for the boys and their parents, the AD can suck my dick. And lick my balls.

Anyway... my alarm for work has gone off. Best get going. Cheers.
 

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Well.

I'm home from work. Off sick because of a disagreeable tum. Yay.

It started quite suddenly at work at about 0445. That last hour and fifteen was not entirely enjoyable. Between my insides being grumpy and the fact that there was quite a lot of mad dashing to the toilet...

And... well, corrections is different from other jobs in this, innit? I mean... most of y'all reading this (assuming people bother) don't work in a jail, have never worked in a jail and probably have never even been in a jail in any way, shape or form. You're used to work environments were you can move quite easily from one place to another.

Not such an easy thing in a jail. I can't go any damn where until I push a call button, wait for central control to respond to said call button and then unlock the door. If controls doing anything else (like opening a door for others, etc), then I must wait my turn. The fact that you're about to shit yourself really doesn't figure into the equation.

I am fortunate that I have a bathroom in the commons area so that I don't have to leave the unit to use the bathroom. However, this toilet is used by inmates and cleaned by (teenage) inmates. It's just one solid porcelain blob... not seat or anything... just a porcelain bowl. So... imagine, if you will a toilet that multiple teenage boys (and girls) use... some with little to no home training... imagine what the seating area looks like.

So. Yeah. Having a sit down in that restroom is ill advised 99.9% of the time. Only on Tuesday is a 100% ok... that's the one day of the week our actual janitor cleans that restroom.

However... desperate times/desperate measures, as they say.

I still have to drag out my keys (ever seen a corrections officer's key ring???) and unlock the door to get in there... but I don't have to go as far or wait for central control for egress.

Then... one needs to start peeling off layers of equipment. I have to remove my mic, earpiece, duty belt... before I can even get to the part where I can be droppin' trou.

Ok... so, you see... this kind of issues are not really conducive to this kind of job. That's what I'm saying.

I really wanted to ask to go home after my woes started, but... it was such a short period of time, I decided not to do so. I just needed to be really careful and what not. Obviously. Got through all that ok, got home ok... had a Coke thinking that would calm my tum down a bit and it... sorta did? Like... I still had the sit downs, if you will, but my insides didn't hurt as much. So... progress?

Not really, as it turns out. I mean, I slept ok and everything. But when I got up this evening, my insides were being annoying again... but I was also starving... and I had a pounding fucking headache. I ate a bit of food, had two Cokes (if one helps, two should help more... right???) Called off work. Laid down on my couch.

Slept on the couch until 1130p. Slept hard, too. Couldn't believe I'd slept that long. (I'd slept all day, after all.) Woke up soaked in sweat, too... cuz why not. Still had the sit downs, though, which was a bit annoying. No pain, though.

So. I've been awake since 1130p. At this time (0345) things seem calmer in the gut, which is nice. Don't have a headache anymore... don't have a fever (I assume I had one since I woke up soaked in sweat), still feel like I could sleep quite a long while, though I wasn't able to fall back to sleep earlier. And actually only got up off the couch and came to write here because I've been lying about too much and it was uncomfortable.

Sitting here isn't entirely comfortable, either.

I don't feel bad, but I don't feel good either. I feel... well... less than blah. So... more ok than not ok... but still not well. If any of that makes any sense? I feel a bit off, is what I'm saying. I'm sure I'll get over it.

I talked to Isaiah when I was at work Monday night and he said rumor had it a guy named Destry was the out side supervisor the agency hired. Said Destry was currently working for the other agency in our building.

Yeah. He is. You see, many many many years ago, back when we first moved into this facility (built new) we had to hire a goodly amount of people because small as our agency is now? It was teeny tiny back then... and our old facilities (we had 2) much, much smaller but getting ready to go into the new facility, we needed to hire a lot of people.

Destry was one of those people. He didn't stay long. A year? Maybe? I dunno... shit that was way back in 2002. I'm not sure how long he stayed, but it was not a long period of time. He worked 3rd shift... well... let me rephrase that to say that he was on 3rd shift. Work was not really part of his vocabulary. Eat... eat was part of his vocabulary. (He'd go into the kitchen and eat up every bit of the inmate leftovers, especially if there were any sweets of any kind.)

Destry did fuck all. Ever. Never. He wandered around... but he didn't do anything. He never really learned anything, either. He and his sidekick of the time, Mike, used to take turns jumping our back wall (outdoor breakroom wall) and going home... whilst on the clock... to bang their wives, eat, who the fuck knows what else. (Yes... everyone knew but the supervisors. 3rd shift staff back in the day was much like Vegas... what happens there, stays there.)

Now. All that being said. I like Destry. Destry is an incredibly difficult person to dislike. He's good to everyone, he's funny, he's just a generally likeable guy, honestly.

He is not even remotely supervisor material.

Now... I don't know if this is true or not, however, I suspect that it is... I had heard from Joe that Destry applied for the supervisor position. And a week after I hear that, Isaiah tells me he's heard that Destry was hired as a supervisor... and I'm not 100% certain that Isaiah knows who Destry is since Destry works 1st shift for the other facility and Isaiah didn't work here back in the day. So... that makes it feel pretty possible to me.

So... instead of Lacey, who's been busting her ass for 12 yrs, doing all the right things, practically running the shift when our less competent supervisors are on board... instead of hiring Lacey as a supervisor, these yahoos hired a little boy who's been in the facility for 3 wks and Destry...

Tell us nothing is going to change without telling us nothing is going to change...

Just left here, applied for a couple of jobs, and came back. Did ya miss me?

I hope something pans out. I fear nothing will. Le sigh.
 

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Yesterday was amazing. Know why?

I thought it was Tuesday. Like... until I got to work, I thought it was Tuesday. And then I realized it was Wednesday. Wednesday is the last work day of the week. So... thinking it was Tues and I had one more day left after... well, let's just say realizing it was actually Wednesday and I had no more days off was a really cool thing.

And the night went by quickly enough. I didn't search any jobs as I've done a pretty exhaustive search this entire week... nothing new or interesting popped up in places where I'm focusing on looking for jobs, soooooooooooo...

I don't remember what I did, really. Oh... I read some Microsoft news. I usually just read the "crime" stuff cuz most of the other, current events type stuff I'm already at least somewhat aware of. The crime shit covers the world, so there's always new stories about how fucked up human beans can actually be.

Looked about for a PS5. I'm kinda just... done looking. I found some at Walmart online... selling for well above the sticker price, but that was really the only place that had any in stock... well, there were a couple of other places, but they were price gouging as well. (x3 msrp? Get the fuck out.) I want one. I don't want to pay $1500 for just the machine, thanks so very much. What the fuck. Greedy ass bitches.

I guess I'll wait until production catches up to the market. I don't really see that happening this year, sooooooo...

I watched a few gaming videos... mostly first looks... to see if there was anything new peeps were playing that looked interesting. There wasn't really. Well... maybe a thing or two, but nothing I'm going to grab up tomorrow at least. And... yeah... that's what I did all night.

That and suppress the desire to murder the fuck outta the staff from the other agency in our building. Jesus Fucking Christ, those people sometimes. They had a rough night on their unit which was not helped by the fact that some of them are outright... well, not trained, not competent, whatever. (This coming from their own staff, for the record.) So, 2nd shift had not left by the time I was sat in central control. Which is never good because when these people leave the facility (and I've heard this from all shifts of our control room staff), they meander out one at a time.

And that would be sorta ok if they left minutes and minutes apart. But they don't. One will leave (understand, we have to receive their call button and then unlock their door in order for them to leave), shut the door behind them (technically they're supposed our staff almost never do on 3rd shift, no loose inmates after all) and then... 15 to 20 seconds later, another one will want out. And that one leaves and 15 to 20 seconds later, another will want to leave.

It's frustrating as fuck. You all know you're going... just wait and que up and leave together, for fuck sake... and they have sooooo many staff (especially compared to our skelly crew)... it's like 10 minutes of people dribbling out the door. (And it's not just one door you have to open, mind you... just one to let them out of their unit. Takes x3 more doors for them to get up front... all of which control has to open, of course.

So... yes. The dribblers... and then our janitor meandering, Todd meandering, Owen meandering, Doug running in and out of his unit (which he did a lot last night, for some reason)... it all made me quite murdery. And it's quite difficult for me to not, at the very least, snap someone's head off (verbally) for such nonsense once I'm good and annoyed. So... the first hour or so was a bit of a struggle to keep from snapping all up on those yahoos.

One of their 3rd shift guys... he's not friendly (usually their 3rd shift peeps get along with our 3rd shift peeps) at all. Won't acknowledge you if you try to talk to him or whatever. Anyway... whatever, I don't give a fuck. I only bring him up because he's... well, he walks like he has diseased balls. Like they're 10 lbs each and fixing to rupture. And he walks like that all the time. It's not bowlegged... it's... like... well, it's like his balls are 10 lbs each and fixing to rupture. It's really weird. I've never seen anyone walk like that before. I mean, I've seen some poor chaffed souls (and have been one myself) who've walked quite gingerly to keep from causing pain to themselves, but this... this is next level shit.

It's weird. I'll put it up there with the girl that used to work 3rd shift over there (nice girl) who sashayed hard core. Big girl, big ass... swinging those hips like she was doing an over exaggerated cat walk. Like... she was trying to get each ass cheek to hit opposing walls. That was a weird walk. I'm not sure if it was intentional (sexy?) or just naturally the way she walked. I'm lean toward the former because she was young and I've never seen anyone toss about like that. It was like cartoonishly over exaggerated sexy cat walk.

Just crawled out of a YT rabbit hole. Don't remember why I went there whilst I was writing this or what captured my attention after I got there, but... yeah. YouTube is like that for me. I get sucked in. Very easily.

It's 1125p and I don't know what I should do. I don't really feel like going to bed, but maybe I should. I could game, but I feel tired because I did fuck all for sleep today. (I stayed up until 1p, slept about 3.5 hrs and was up prepping chow) I dunno. Maybe I'll lie about on the couch like a slug and sleep through some YouTube videos.

Also. I'm in pains. I dunno what the fuck I did... but I think I did it whilst I was sleeping on the couch earlier. It feels like someone kicked me right above the hip in the... well, whatever muscles are there. I keep wanting to say obliques, but I'm not sure that's right. (You'd think, having successfully completed a course on musculoskeletal anatomy from Harvad Med, that I'd be able to remember such things... but here we are...)

I'll Google... standby...

Ok. I was actually right. External obliques. So... it feels like someone hauled off and kicked me really, really, really hard in the right external oblique area. It smarts. It didn't hurt earlier today. It didn't hurt last night. It hurt when I got up to get started with the food prep. So... I did something whilst I slept.

Which... when you see those memes cracking wise about old people injuring themselves rolling over in bed? Yeah... it's kinda just like that. I hurt myself about as often in my sleep as I do when I'm awake. Scary!
 

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My best friend has covid. She's fortunately vaccinated and her symptoms aren't too bad. Not sure where she picked it up, maybe at work. She's a nurse in PICU at Choc. I hung out with her on Sunday for a good portion of the day and she started having symptoms that day when I was with her. Her throat was a little scratchy. On Monday, her body ached and she had a low fever; she felt like she did when she got the vaccine earlier in the year. Tuesday and Wednesday, she had congestion. She went to get tested on Tuesday. On Thursday, she lost her sense of smell and taste. This both had us convinced it was covid and not a cold. Friday, her results were still not back so she went to get a rapid pcr test which came back positive. Her other results came back today, also positive. She feels pretty good now, symptoms are almost gone, other than her loss of smell and taste. That has her pretty down. She's also home alone with her pets. Her and her ex broke up a few weeks ago and isolation was the last thing she needed.

She told me that this is literal torture for an extrovert. Knowing her needs and what she's going through, I'm checking in on her often. Calling her when I get off work or on my days off. This is more non-work phone calls that I've had than I usually care to have. But she's worth it.

I'm being careful since I've had exposure. It'll be 7 days tomorrow. I am fortunately also vaccinated. I've let my work know. I can continue working as long as I don't have symptoms, since I have my vaccine. I'm also wearing my mask there (we do anyways, we're an animal hospital and still considered medical). At home, I wear my mask when I leave my bedroom, as I don't want to potentially spread anything to my parents. I've been doing this since I hung out with her that day.

I took an (sativa) edible tonight and I got super paranoid that I felt like I was getting sick. But I think it's all in my head. (this is why I prefer indica).

My extroverted coworkers invited me to a rave like outdoor festival tomorrow in LA, with a lineup of 6 DJs. Honestly, I don't really listen to the electronic genre and I don't know much about it, but also the idea of raves/clubs is not appealing to me/makes me anxious. I also would want to like the genre of music in order to buy tickets. I've gone to a ton of concerts and 3 music festival before. This party is House music, which I'm a little more familiar with. I felt bad declining. It was also sprung on me too quickly. Maybe if I had more time and worked myself up, I could have agreed to go. But then again, I wouldn't want to go with potentially being sick. Even though it's a mask only event, I still don't want to risk it.
 

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My best friend has covid. She's fortunately vaccinated and her symptoms aren't too bad. Not sure where she picked it up, maybe at work. She's a nurse in PICU at Choc. I hung out with her on Sunday for a good portion of the day and she started having symptoms that day when I was with her. Her throat was a little scratchy. On Monday, her body ached and she had a low fever; she felt like she did when she got the vaccine earlier in the year. Tuesday and Wednesday, she had congestion. She went to get tested on Tuesday. On Thursday, she lost her sense of smell and taste. This both had us convinced it was covid and not a cold. Friday, her results were still not back so she went to get a rapid pcr test which came back positive. Her other results came back today, also positive. She feels pretty good now, symptoms are almost gone, other than her loss of smell and taste. That has her pretty down. She's also home alone with her pets. Her and her ex broke up a few weeks ago and isolation was the last thing she needed.

She told me that this is literal torture for an extrovert. Knowing her needs and what she's going through, I'm checking in on her often. Calling her when I get off work or on my days off. This is more non-work phone calls that I've had than I usually care to have. But she's worth it.

I'm being careful since I've had exposure. It'll be 7 days tomorrow. I am fortunately also vaccinated. I've let my work know. I can continue working as long as I don't have symptoms, since I have my vaccine. I'm also wearing my mask there (we do anyways, we're an animal hospital and still considered medical). At home, I wear my mask when I leave my bedroom, as I don't want to potentially spread anything to my parents. I've been doing this since I hung out with her that day.

I took an (sativa) edible tonight and I got super paranoid that I felt like I was getting sick. But I think it's all in my head. (this is why I prefer indica).

My extroverted coworkers invited me to a rave like outdoor festival tomorrow in LA, with a lineup of 6 DJs. Honestly, I don't really listen to the electronic genre and I don't know much about it, but also the idea of raves/clubs is not appealing to me/makes me anxious. I also would want to like the genre of music in order to buy tickets. I've gone to a ton of concerts and 3 music festival before. This party is House music, which I'm a little more familiar with. I felt bad declining. It was also sprung on me too quickly. Maybe if I had more time and worked myself up, I could have agreed to go. But then again, I wouldn't want to go with potentially being sick. Even though it's a mask only event, I still don't want to risk it.
I hope you're feeling better soon! And I'm glad you're vaccinated. I had covid before there was a vaccine readily available and it was seriously unfun. I was sick for three damn weeks. (And I gave it to my mom, but she only felt bad for one day, fortunately! That was scary since she's 80!)

~~~

Work. Icky. This nonsense of having to work 5 days per week is dumb.

So. I didn't get my central control spot last night, which means I have to work the unit four days in a row. Which is fucking bullshit, but there is nothing I can do about it. Both Natalie and Todd called in sick. Natalie's doing it to avoid cleaning empty cells (we have inspection coming) because that's how Natalie rolls. (It also means that I will be stuck doing all of it. Because she's fucking lazy and shady.) Malachi said that Todd had left early on Thurs/Fri and hadn't been back to work since... and that he'd also called off for tonight. (Four days in a row!)

Todd is not really one to fake call in sick (rarely), so him calling in sick four days in a row is something. Wonder what's up with that. I wonder, to be honest, if it's not covid... since he's one of those that absolutely refuses to get vaccinated because this is all some great conspiracy, etc and so forth.

Is it wrong if that were the case and I would be amused?

Probably. But... whatever. I just don't have any sympathy, at all, for the willfully ignorant, conspiracy theorists and all those yahoos.

If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough... as the song goes. Or die, I guess.

So... because those two yahoos called in sick, we had four different people from other shifts splitting those two vacancies. Lacey, Lana, Jerry and Mary. Now... that would be quite ok except Lana is still recovering after a work (brawl) related knee injury from way back... I don't even remember how long ago? Close to a year ago, I think. (She really fucked it up, tussling with an inmate) and she is on modified duty... which is central control.

And so there we are. I have to work the damn unit four days this week because of Natalie and/or Todd. Fuckers.

The upside is that I've only six inmates (3 of each gender) on the unit right now. Our population went up by four over my days off, but it's still quite low. And I think I'm losing the one kid tomorrow. (The one whose parents wouldn't take him back home until after they went on vacation and came back? Him.) So... there's not all that much to do.

But that has it's own downside as well. It's boring as all fuck. Which is a good thing in corrections, don't get me wrong, but it's still boring as fuck. At least in central control, I could look for jobs or watch videos or something. Can't do any of that inside the secure perimeter. I read parts of a book that's probably going to suck, did a few crosswords, played solitaire on the pc and watched shit on The Weather Channel. (Freaky storms, plane crashes, etc.)

Upside... the units got huge new big screen tvs. I don't know how big they are... but they're huge. The old tvs on the unit were 24"... tiny little things. Good for a bedroom, where you chill and watch whatever in bed. But a huge ass room with a bunch of kids in it? It's not really conducive to like... watching movies or for bigger groups, is what I'm saying.

Now they're... I don't even know... 80" maybe? And... I can actually sit at my desk and see the tv well. (I could see it before, but not that great, mostly I listened to it.) So... that's a nice perk. (If only I could play some games on that big fucker! That'd be sweet... though I'm not sure how they'd look as I'm sure they're the absolute cheapest tvs ever made)

The drive to work last night was interesting. When I left the Casey's General Store, there was like serious lightening to the north... big lightening and lots of it. (Constant, it was) It's kind of distracting when you're driving, at least it is for me, because I want to watch it... but I'm driving. It makes me sad... had I not been going to work, I'd have drive up on an interstate overpass outside of the city and filmed some of it and/or just watched it. It was pretty intense!

Anyway... I head off to work, get on the interstate... start blazing down the road and see the lanes ahead of me packed. What the fuck? The interstate is rarely packed like that. So, first I wondered what was going on... what event or whatever, but I couldn't think of anything. And then I realized that the backed up traffic isn't even moving and then I saw all the flashing lights...

Lovely. An accident.

Never a good thing on the interstate, for speed reasons alone. So... now I was sat behind backed up traffic... none of the three lanes moving at all. Called work and let them know what was going on and told them I might be late because I had no idea how bad the accident was, how long it was going to take me to clear it or anything like that.

As it turned out, not that long... but it was a task. All that backed up traffic had to merge into one lane, which is a feat all by itself and then wiggle it's way through an accident scene that was pretty much across all three lanes. Yay!

And as soon as I cleared the accident... like... literally maybe 10 yds after I was clear off the accident... the heavens opened up and the deluge began. Could barely to see to drive. And that went on for a good 15 minutes or so. (My drive is about 30 mins, give or take)

At work, it hadn't even rained.

Of course, it did eventually get to work too and rained about half the night. Some parts of the metro area (not locally) were actually flooding and stuff. Like... scary flash flooding. But those areas got nearly 4" of rain in a short period of time. (The one of the news stations for that area said at one point, they got 2" of rain in 30 mintues!) I didn't hear of any fatalities or anything like that. Just... some people going to have some flooded out cars. (Saw a video of cars floating down the street...)

Crazy times.

The pups didn't get to play this morning because it was so wet outside. And not tonight because it's too hot. I can't be all hot and sweaty and then go to work and be hot and sweaty all night long, with no relief. (Our ac works minimally, at best. My unit always feels tropical.) I just can't do that heat without having a way to cool off. (Can't go outside, it's just as hot and humid out there. No relief!)
 

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If you are seeing someone and the other person has regular sleepovers with other people (could be apart, cuddling, kissing - sex not out of the question), would jealousy be the right word to describe the reaction?
It's always good to have at least a general sense of what each party's boundaries and expectations are so as to avoid this kind of confusion. It's easier said than done, for sure, but it spares you from a lot of heartache.

I'm currently single but am essentially on "friends with benefits" terms with a couple of people (I just came out of a nasty attempt at a "serious" relationship and it's really put me off the concept for now) Myself from like, a year ago would have emotionally imploded from this sort of thing, but I've come to realize that you can't expect exclusivity from someone unless you have actually had "the talk" about it. Until you have, it's just best to assume they're still open to seeing/sleeping with someone else -- it's their right as an adult.

But once you realize you can't personally be satisfied with that sort of thing, your best two options are to 1) have an honest and open conversation about it, as terrifying as that can be or 2) just exit the situation.

Jealousy is a real nasty bugger, for sure. It's my least favorite emotion (makes me want to stab myself in the chest or something when I feel it on very extreme levels) but the key to breaking free from it involves a lot of reframing how you view relationships.
 

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Well.

Got an email this evening with a link to take an aptitude test for a dispatch position with a university police department. So... that's something. I can take it from home, obviously... but it's a two hour test and I only have until Thursday night at 1159p to get it finished. Which... that's plenty of time, don't get me wrong.

Is it plenty of time while I'm awake, alert and functioning properly? Well... that's a whole different thing, innit?

I either have to take it when I get home from work, after having been up all night or take it when I first wake up in the evening... neither of these times are good times to testing my aptitude to do any goddamn thing. It would've been so nice if the deadline had been Friday at 1159p... but, alas... it is not. Le sigh.

I should be ok, though. I just have to decide when to do it. I don't have enough time to do it tonight, I'll have to get ready for work before the test time is over. So... that's a day out. So... we'll see. Maybe tomorrow. Now that I know about it, I will be better prepared for it. I don't even want to look at it right now. The thought makes my brain want to explode.

I have taken an aptitude test for a dispatch job in the past and I actually got the job, I just didn't get to keep it. (Long story, but let's just say it wasn't my fault.) That was like... 30 yrs ago? Maybe longer, I can't remember. Anyway, if this aptitude test is anything like that aptitude test, and it may not be, it's basically a concentration test.

Like... there were sections that tried to trick your brain. They'd have colors written like this red, white, green, yellow row after row after row of writing like that. In one section, they'd tell you to choose the color of the ink, not the color of the word... then you'd do some other stuff for a section or two and then the colors would come back up again, just like that, and you'd have to choose the word not the color it was written in... back and forth and so several times.

And these are speed tests... you have to fly through them. And let me tell you, this type of writing can really mess with your brain when you're flying through the test at hyper speed. If you slow down a little, it's not that bad. But these tests were very time constricted and you were judged on how far you got through it and how accurate your answers were.

Now... I have no way of knowing if that's how it'll go with this test or not, but I suspect if not, it will at least be something similar. They might've even found more interesting ways to test one's focus and concentration after all these years.

A dispatch gig would be pretty good for me. It fits my personality and my calm ass demeanor. It's in a field I'm already familiar with and have worked around and I already have some knowledge of dispatching, so... would be fairly easy, I think, to jump into the job and do it reasonably well from the start. (Have to get hired first, of course.)

The university has great benefits, too. Pay is... reasonable for starting pay... and I'd get raises of course. I believe there is also a lot of tuition assistance and what not when you work for the university, which just makes sense. Maybe I'll hit up some like... courses or something. Or maybe I'll just dig this gig until I'm old and dead. I dunno.

I would probably have to stop referring to the university cops as the dream police (because they're dreaming of becoming real cops some day) since I don't think they'd find that assessment to be particularly amusing, though it is somewhat factual. (many university police, eventually get into the city police dept...) I started calling them that eons ago when I worked security at our state fairgrounds. They often responded first when I needed assistance because the city police didn't have jurisdiction on the state fairgrounds... because it was state property even though it was smack inside the city. (I know... makes no sense, but that's how it was...) Also the university pd office was just down the way.


So... yeah. Some of the university police back in the day were serious clowns. Like... fucking clueless. (You'd think they'd know their job better than some 20 something year old security guard, but they often didn't...) And that's when I started calling them The Dream Police. If I start working there, I'll probably have to find a different way to refer to them... and that might be hard because I've not called them anything but TDP since way back then.

Something to think about if they actually decide to hire me, I guess. :p

Talked to one of the new girls that they started working 2nd shift about 3 wks ago. (About a week after Cooper started, I think) Her name is Sarita and she's ready to quit already. She said she didn't think she could handle working with juveniles. (in other words, she can't deal with there being no consequences for their behavior) She also said that she had noticed that the supervisors seemed shady and that staff was extremely negative. She said when she worked some overtime on 1st shift, all the 1sties did was talk shit about other people. (Yup...that's what 1sties do)

She was being recruited by the adult jail, so I don't think she'll be around too long. (She worked at the adult prison prior to this... said she wanted to try this... our agency out... but she's done that now and doesn't like it.) If she's around a month or more longer, I'll be shocked.

And... as I told her, I wasn't encouraging her to leave... because we really, really need the people and we really, really desperately need good people and she seemed to be one of those types of people... but I also told her that I couldn't, in good conscience, tell her it was a good place to work nor would I wish for her to stay and get stuck there.

I really would've liked to have been able to talk to her more about... anything. She struck me as a really squared away, professional, intelligent and decent person... and after just a few minutes of speaking with her, I really liked her. But she had to clock out and all that and... I probably won't ever get to talk to her too much before she goes. Sad.

I still have yet to meet the other noob on 2nd shift. I don't even know what her name is. I didn't know this girl's name either until I talked with her last night. Hello new person, who are you? was how I greeted her last night. Oh... she also talked about our shit training, too. I felt like they just rushed through it to get us here working. Well, yeah. But also because our trainer is bad at her job and our training has being sliding down the toilet for years now. For existing employees, it's almost to the point of being non existent. Which... in a jail setting... is bad.

So. Yeah.

The weather is extra today. At chow time, the feels like temperature was 108F, actual air temp was 90+ something. I just looked... it was 93F... (I take snaps to share with my friends in Florida who think they own all the heat and humidity Ha!) So... all that extra is from humidity and a high dew point. Air you can wear! Yay!

It's going to be hot and gross on my unit tonight. Ugh.

I should have lost an inmate today. The 13 yr old whose parents went on vacation without him... he was to be going home today. That will make me have five inmates, total, on my unit. Skinny numbers. And that's good... but good god is it boring. Joe and I were both bored last night. His office is on my unit, so we ended up in his office several times, looking at videos on YouTube... different music, video games and stuff like that. And just chatting. Joe left for a good long while at one point, so I think he had meandered over to hang out with Malachi.

Since Joe's office is on my unit, I had him catch one of my rounds so I could extend my break to 30 minutes. It's not that I really needed or even wanted, for that matter, a 30 minute break but a girl whose family I used to baby sit when I was in high school (four kids... 3 girls & a boy) got into contact with me... it's been several years ago (I was in contact with her brother, who was friends with my lil brother, off and on, but not the girls) and so we've emailed and texted back and forth quite a lot since then.

Anyway, she sent me a text message wondering if I would be interested in taking her son's senior photos (yes!) and then going over cost, and sitting fees, locations, number of clothes changes, poses, etc, etc, etc. So... this took more than 15 minutes and I was right in the middle of things and so asked Joe to get my round for me, which he did with no problems what so ever. (Kelly or Owen wouldn't have done it... and I'd have never asked because I know that.)

So... yeah. I have to find my price list for last year... where ever I wrote that down. That sound be fun. I've never met this young man, but he seems to be a decent kid. He does choir and band and plays baseball. Big kid, too. He has the same name as my niece! (My niece has a boy's name. My sister wanted my nephew to have that name, but my bil thought it was a girl's name & refused. I had to explain to him that it was not & the origins of the name and what not. So... if my niece would've gotten the same name whether she was a girl or a boy.)

Just sent off my price list... boy howdy, did I have to dig for it! It's written down, but I always forget which one of the wonderful notebooks/journals on my desk that I wrote it down in... so... treasure hunt!

Anyway. Almost that time... gotta get moving along!
 

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Well.

Yes, yes. Deep subject. Dark, musty, mossy and probably a hundred other things, too.

I have a headache and it's annoying. It's not bad. But it's not good either. Just fucking annoying.

Work was boring as holy fuck last night. Jesus Henry Christ. I mean... getting paid to do basically nothing is cool... but it'd be more cool if there was something fun to do during the "nothing". I so wish I could bring my laptop and game. I'd be a very happy boy then. But if I asked, I'm sure the answer would be no. Which is stupid, but whatever. Maybe I'll ask just to be see... I don't have much hope for it, though.

The admin secretary said she passed my contact info on to these people doing the... whatever... to help find a new director. I wanted to talk (or email) them privately about the this shit hole because I know better than to do that openly... retaliation is a thing... I've been a victim of it more than once.

Thing is... I'm not so sure these people will contact me. The Kevin dude that showed up in our briefing sounded like he was all about staff, but I've been down that road before, several times. And it's now like the boy who cried wolf, only turned around. (Instead of crying something bad is happening, it's crying something good is happening) And... now I don't believe what anyone says about pretty much anything. It's all been lies before, why would that change???

So. We'll see. I'm not confident. And I'm not confident that actually talking to them will change anything either, as far as that goes. I just feel sort of compelled to do so. At least make that much of an effort.

Work was super duper boring last night because that little dude left with his parents, finally. That left me with five inmates, total... three girls/two boys. Then they decided to just move to the boys over to the other unit, so they could free up a staff on 1st & 2nd shift. So... I had just the three females.

I'm guessing my paperwork took about... two minutes. Maybe? (It took far longer to actually log onto the computer and programs than it did to do the paperwork, which is basically data entry.) The laundry? Two sets of clothes... took maybe 5 minutes (as opposed to the 1.5 to 3 hrs that can take with a full unit). And then I was done with work for the night. Except rounds, of course... those happen all night long.

Joe asked me if I would help him assemble the new laundry carts. And... I was bored, so I agreed to help him. Plus, I like Joe... he's a good dude. I'll always help him if he asks. Probably even if he doesn't ask. It did pretty much kill the rest of the night... we started at 0330 and finished around 0515. Which is... well, the last bit of the shift and holy ridiculous because assembling these carts was just a matter of screwing in 12 bolts for each cart.

The reason it took so damn long (should've taken maybe 10 minutes or so a cart...) was because trying to find the right tools to accomplish the task is iffy at best. It's a jail... there are tools, in our packrat maintenance guy's office. Joe scrambled all about the office (he is truly a packrat, that place is wall to wall with shit) trying to find a screwdriver, a couple of 7/16" wrenches or sockets.

Found a screw driver and one wrench. The only 7/16" socket he could find was on breaker bar with a knuckle joint. Needless to say, this made life rather interesting. The knuckle joint kept pinching my skin and it wasn't needed (which is why it was pinching my skin... I was trying to keep it from... knuckling.) and this long as breaker bar which wasn't at all fucking necessary.

We had too much tool, in that case, for the job. Like trying to cut a toothpick in half with a chainsaw.

We did get it done, but it was frustrating and tiresome. We only did three of the four carts... deciding to leave the last one for tonight. Cuz it's going to be boring as fuck tonight, too.

And, sadly, I went through half of last night thinking it was Tuesday. Was excited but wary when I got home this morning... excited that it was Wednesday morning and leery that it might not be. And so I checked my phone when I got home and, alas... it was not Wednesday morning. I still have one more night to do in the unit (tonight) and two more nights overall. Bah humbug.

And yes, I lose track of the days of the week. And what screwed me up this week was working an extra day on the unit... usually, three days on the unit and then it's central control day and then days off. Not this week. Four days on the unit... see? That's why my brain is confused. I think my brain knew, deep down, but... it didn't want to believe it.

So. Yeah. Anyway. Off to the couch with me. Rest my headache so maybe it'll go away. Took ibuprofen about an hour ago and nothing's happened yet. That's not very encouraging...
 

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Heyyyyyyyyyyya guys.

Umm.

Question.

With INFPs, ISFPs, or anybody that might not share any or all of your prefered functions, do you think that semantics plays a role in miscommunication? (Thus leading to annoyance of each other etc.)

I find that with some types, well, for example, INFJs. We may have similar views, but can completely miss the point or not, even think they're thinking the same thing; because of choice of words...

I find it interesting and ... Well it would also be helpful to clear things up.

What do you think? 😊🌼🌞
 

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@warweasel
I don't know why, and please don't take this the wrong way, but for some reason I find the way you write, uhhhh, cute.


... 😐

No really. I'm not saying that you're cute, well I mean you could be idk, lol!

Omg, tl;dr I love your writing style. It's very, descriptive. You describe things well. It's interesting, and kind of makes me get the sense of your surroundings or whatever. I like it. Haha...

It has a 'feely' vibe to it, if I didn't know any better I would have not thought you were INTJ.
 

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@warweasel
I don't know why, and please don't take this the wrong way, but for some reason I find the way you write, uhhhh, cute.


... 😐

No really. I'm not saying that you're cute, well I mean you could be idk, lol!

Omg, tl;dr I love your writing style. It's very, descriptive. You describe things well. It's interesting, and kind of makes me get the sense of your surroundings or whatever. I like it. Haha...

It has a 'feely' vibe to it, if I didn't know any better I would have not thought you were INTJ.
Well, thanky! I do appreciate feedback like this even though, ultimately I'm writing here for myself for the most part. I used to blog... way back when that first became a thing. (2001?) I'd probably still carrying on there if that particular blogging site hadn't shut down. (Right after I paid for a lifetime membership, too... goddamn it!)

This describing things well likely comes from having to write legal reports at work. You have to describe things very well without... flourish? Yeah, I think that word will work. Which is very easy for me to do (they used to use my reports for training material back in the day, no joke) and when I'm here I'm just writing whatever nonsense pops into my head. (Amazing that it's coherent most of the time since my brain is hyperactive!)

As for the feelery bits... I dunno. I think that I communicate feely bits better via writing than elsewhere. I also write much more proper than I speak, 99.9% of the time. I can speak in an educated and proper way if the circumstances call for it or I can go straight 'hood and talk all ghetto 'n shit. (I've worked with gangbangers for 25 yrs, I am able to speak their language fluently! ;)) But most of the time I carry on, swearing like a sailor or a pirate or... a corrections officer. Or... whatever.

I dunno. I think I'm thinking too much about it. 🤷‍♂️

~~~

I went ahead and took that aptitude test for the university police dept. I don't feel like I did very well. But... I also feel like most people off the street, who don't know what to expect, would fare far worse... so... who knows? I mean, some bits I did very well on. I type very, very fast (110-120 wpm, depending upon text, subject, etc) and I do data entry every day at work, so that's easy peasy. And the rest of the stuff was easy peasy too... except for a couple of bits, which are like true dispatching bits.

Listening to and trying to record rambling information, make report and then answer multiple guess questions about the "call"... which... one section of that was like, not something that would be a dispatch call. It was more like eavesdropping and overhearing someone talking and then writing a report on it. It wasn't taking information about a crime or anything... it was about Sue & Ellen talking about maybe meeting for McDonald's after work and not being able to do so because one of them has already made plans.

And so... all the while, at first, I'm waiting for some criminal element stuff to come up and was very confused when it didn't... I mean, I was typing notes and stuff, but... I dunno. It was weird.

And all the while you're doing this stuff, there are little blips that pop up on the bottom right of your screen where you have to make a decision (based on criteria you're given at the beginning of the test) regarding what emergency services or utilities agency you need to contact based on the information given. These are little blips that pop up fast and require attention fast, because they go away fast.

I know a couple disappeared right around the time I noticed they were there. (no sound or anything, just a small rectangular box down in the far bottom right of your screen.

I think I got most of them. I hope I got most of them, anyway. I know I made all the right choices (it wasn't that difficult, honestly) on the ones I saw, I just have no idea if I missed any without ever even seeing them. As I said, I know I missed at least one as it went away just as I realized it was there.

So... yeah. Whatever. I have about zero hope that I'm going to get hired anywhere, so... it's all good one way or the other. Obviously, I'd like to come out on the positive side of it, but I don't think it's likely sooooooooo...

Last night was boring as fuck. This three kid thing is going to kill me, I swear. The time, she drags.

At least Joe and Malachi came around talked to me once in a while. I helped Joe put together the last laundry cart. We had a better system this time, despite using the same tools. We knocked that cart out in about 12-15 mins. No problem.

And then I read a book. Written by a local author. He used to work for my agency back when I was still a young 'un. His books are... meh. Readable, but well... a bit hokey and kitschy, which I assure you is not his intent. (He still writes teenagers and adults as if they're in the 1950s, language wise. Hokey, as I said.)

The draw of the books are they're about kids in our local setting. You know the places he's talking about. And... he's not a terrible story teller... he's just not the greatest of writers. (He might be better at nonfiction, though I'm not sure he's ever written any.)

Anyway... it's a 3 book story about a troubled (delinquent) 11 yr old boy named Lucas. The first book was ok enough for me to read it all the way through (and decide to read the next two)... but remember, I was extremely bored and also, the books aren't entirely that long. Which is why I grabbed both of remaining books. With no distractions in central control, I may be able to read both in one night.

I have considered writing a story like this. Not necessarily about where I am (he uses the actual city and it's locations), but maybe a fictional city based on the actual city... and then tell some stories of the kids I've known these past 25 yrs. Thing is, I don't know what the fluff would be. You know... the bits where we're not talking about the kids. Nobody wants to read a story about terrible administrators and terrible coworkers... people would want to read about the kids, but it can't be all about them, either.

I mean, I'd want to tell it from my perspective, because doing it from theirs would be more difficult. Maybe I could to it from both... write a two person perspective story? I dunno, though, cuz sometimes these kids are extremely difficult for me to understand. It's not just that I'm not their age, not living their lives, etc... it's that my INTJ brain just doesn't not compute things that are wholly illogical.


And... I can't wrap my head around the dumbass shit adults do, let alone some of he spectacularly stupid shit teenagers do. Particularly the teenagers that I work with, because they're spectacular stupid involves hurting/killing other people sometimes and I just can't relate to that.

I'll take any suggestions on what I could write, if anyone has any. I'm not sure I ever will, but... maybe.

Anyway. Off to work with me. Cheers
 

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Well.

Yes, we're back to that. 🤷‍♂️

It's the days off. Huzzah! Well... this one's over, innit? But yeah. We're there. Spent the morning out with the pupperoos and the afternoon sleeping on the couch. Was going to go to the union meeting, but I slept through it. Well, most of it. I woke at 244p. Meeting was ending at 330p. Takes me 30 mins to get there... so, yeah. Went back to sleep instead.

Grilled some steaks with sauted mushrooms and onions. Quite yummy. I think I might finish that off here in a bit. I mean... it was hours ago and I'm starting to get hungry again. We'll see. I might save the leftovers for breakfast instead.
Decisions, decisions.

Applied for the dispatch job with the state police. Again. Fifth time? Is that one a charm? The third one wasn't. Nor were the first, second or fourth, for that matter. That's the fifth time in less than a year, mind you. They've got some serious ass turnover issues. Which, you know... I could solve for them. I get in, I ain't going anywhere... unless they drag me out kicking and screaming... which I suppose is possible, though not likely.

If I get another interview (I've interviewed twice... so it seems to be a 50/50 thing) I'm afraid I'm going to have to bring up that turnover thing. I mean, seriously. You don't want to hire me... but you can't keep people? Okey dokey, then.

It's a thing. I've had this issue (of not getting jobs) since I first started looking for jobs when I was a teenager. I'm not even kidding just a little bit. I have the absolute worst luck at getting jobs. I know I don't always interview well... that's something I can't help. That's my introverted, INTJ ass doing it's thing. (I do better these days, though.)

My parents took to driving me around to places to apply (back when you had to apply in person) because they didn't believe that I was applying for all these jobs and not even getting interviews. (Because I wasn't. Not very often.) And you know what? That didn't help a damn thing. Silly rabbits.

So. I'm quite used to this rejection business. It's... I wish I could say that I'm disappointed each time I hear nothing or interview and still don't get the job. But it has happened so often that it doesn't really even faze me at all. I mean... yeah, it sucks when you're trying to be hopeful (not really my gig, though) and nothing happens. But... sometimes you just have to know that it is what it is.

And I absolutely hate that saying It is what it is. It's just so not true the vast majority of the time. The vast majority of the time it is what it is because people are too goddamn scared or lazy or apathetic to make it something other.

But then... there are just those few times in life when it truly is what it is... and there's not much you can do about it.

That's where I live, motherfuckers! 🖕:cool:🖕

Oh, man... ain't life fun? Like seriously? I think so. Even if it is profoundly frustrating sometimes. (And profoundly a whole host of other things as well, of course.) If it weren't for the knocks, life would be boring as fuck, yeah?


Todd was back to work for the 1st time this week. I missed it, too. His issue. I'm like not mad at myself about it or anything like that, but I should've guessed what was up with him. It was obvious as hell and he basically told me without telling me (because he didn't know) and I missed it.

Of course, he didn't ask me about it... he was just saying stuff about it. How he'd lost like 30 lbs and he didn't know how. How his eyes were bothering him. Yup. Should've caught that, but I didn't even think about it. Probably because when people want me to take medical stab at what's wrong with them, they just ask me. He didn't... it was just something that came up in convo. So... maybe if he'd have asked, I might've made a guess at it. As it was, didn't really even think about it all.

Yeah... poor dude is pretty seriously diabetic and he just found out this week. Like... his sugars were waaaaaaay high. He said he had some appointments to go to see if his pancreas was even working... so that's not good. He looked quite haggard and pale at work last night.

I feel bad for him. Yes... he's a whiny, pussy whipped little bitch and I honestly don't care for him at all... but I don't wish bad things on him. Especially life altering shit like that. Dude's an asshat, but I don't want bad stuff to happen to him. (Well... maybe covid cuz he's one of those dumbfuck deniers that won't get vaxx'd) You can tell he was at work, but still wasn't feel well at all. I hope he gets that shit straightened out.

I'm still waiting for work to approve my pre sick leave for when I get my zombie skin put in my mouth. That's just a bit away and they're dragging their heels about it. I do hope they realize that I'm not going to be there. My putting in a leave request for a pre sick day was just a courtesy to them. If they don't approve it, I'm calling in sick. It's written write on the fucking request that I'm having a surgical procedure done. If that's not a hint that they should figure it out in advance, I don't know what else to do.

It's one of those stupid things with them. Doesn't matter to me one way or the other. I was trying to help them out so they could have the time to cover it in advance. But... we're so skelly and have virtually no part timers left, either. (Not that is any concern of mine. That's their own damn fault.)

And I'm not rescheduling... been trying to get this done for 1.5 yrs now. (Was going to do it in January 2020, but got influenza b and then influenza a back to back... and then by the time I recovered from that nonsense, covid was in full swing. Then 2021 rolls around and I get the covid and... yeah. It's taken some time to get here...)

Everybody else get their time off. (Rita got an entire week off... I couldn't even get three days in a row!) So... whatever. I'm not sweating it. Fuck 'em.

Anyway... think I'm going to go nibble on that left over dead cow.

 

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Goddamn ENFJ decides to text me yet another apology and declaration of love and an especially desperate plea for me to go to his house so we can "talk face to face."

For the record, I love my ESTP and ISTJ friend posse:

885238


Yes, that's the ESTP demanding a spreadsheet from the ISTJ.

I told him that I'm not gambling on him again. I already almost fucked up a wonderful friendship because I was wrapped up in this bullshit, but I'm not letting that happen again.

He said, "If this is the last thing you read from me, I just want you to know: I love you with all of my heart."

Pretty positive he doesn't know how to love anybody but himself, if even that. I feel sorry for him, but he's not mine to fix.

I've gotta move on.
 
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So. Did some "voluntary" overtime this morning.

I use the quotations because there wasn't anything voluntary about it. My options were take "voluntary" overtime and work an extra 4 hrs or you will do mandatory overtime for 8 hrs.

So... kind of like choosing to die a quick death rather than suffer a prolonged one. You're still dead when it's all said done, but... you've been given the illusion of having a choice in the matter. Yay.

If one is going to do overtime a Sunday morning in central control is a good place to be. Boring as all hell... but peaceful and quiet. There really wasn't anything for me to do. There are only 3 inmates who can move around the building and those are the 3 female inmates on my unit. Since the male half of my unit is still closed, all the boys are either in quarantine (new boys/girls) or in max security. Not all the boys need to be in max... but with our very short staffing, closing one unit and combining it's inmates with another frees up a staff, sooooooooooo...

Max security and quarantine units don't go to the gym, they don't go to dining. They don't go anywhere. (They can go into the outside rec areas, both units... but the kids would rather watch movies or game most of the time.)

So... lil ole me, sitting in central control doing fuck all and trying to stay awake. And not daydream. Cuz not completely zoning out was a struggle. I mean... I have to pay some bit of attention, particularly to radio traffic, since I monitor/respond to traffic from both our agency and the other agency in our facility. So... one needs to have a bit of real world comprehension going or you're going to miss things.

So... I had to not daydream too hard, essentially.

That four hours crawled by, honestly. The last hour actually went pretty quickly, but the first three dragged on.

Oddly enough, Jerry was very jovial today and he actually talked to me like he liked me and was happy to have a conversation with me. Weird, bruh. That dude is... well, I could almost feel sorry for him if he hadn't been such a dick to me for so many years.

I think he has mental health issues. I know he's a drunk. (Enough people who actually used to hang out with him have said so... and they no longer hang out with him because of it.) He lost his fucking mind at work several years ago when his wife decided to call him at work and tell him she was divorcing him. He went on a rampage and starting tearing the unit up... you know... just... lost his shit.

I can understand being upset and angry, but you're at fucking work, dude. Call a supervisor to relieve you and take that shit outside. Don't lose your fucking shit and start smashing shit and what not... in front of teenage inmates. Seriously.

Anyway. He used to want to be a supervisor really, really badly. So most of my bad interactions with him (since he's a 1stie) have centered around that desire. You could always tell when he applied for a supervisor position because he would start acting like he already had the job. He'd come in to my unit in the morning and start harping on me about this or that why wasn't this done, why is this like this, you need to do this, you need to do that...

And of course, I would just give him the look. The fuck you think you're talking to? look. I mean, especially back then... I'd been on the job 15 yrs, he'd been on it for like... 2. Get the fuck outta here with your nonsense.

At first, I kinda jokingly responded to him. Sarcastic and what not, but not like... fuck off sarcastic, if that makes sense? But he just kept doing it and doing it and doing it... so then it turned to just giving him the look... which typically just left him muttering to himself long after I'd gone back to doing whatever it was I was doing.

And he's been like... a soulless entity coming and going now for the past several years. Doesn't smile, doesn't really interact with anyone, doesn't joke around or really do anything. Just sitting all glum and quiet and pouty or whatever. (He probably has some serious depression or some shit. Along with alcoholism. Just a guess from his demeanor.)

So... when he was all chipper and chatty this morning, I was like... hmmmmmmmm... curious.

Maybe something finally went right in his life and he's feeling better or maybe something else. I dunno.

Todd's off the schedule for all of this week. When he came back on Wednesday, he only worked that night and Thursday night... and now he's off for the rest of the week again. That seems a little bit much for a diabetes diagnosis. I sure hope the fucker doesn't have like... pancreatic cancer or some shit. (I'm just assuming pancreatic cancer can make your blood sugar go nuts, cuz it's the pancreas, I really have no real knowledge of that particular cancer.)

I'm about 99% sure I'm going to lose my days off this bid. Mary told me she's coming to 3rd shift. She's senior to me, so I'll lose my days off... and, best case scenario, have the same shitty days off I had when I started 23.5 yrs ago! (In most places the longer you stay, the better your days off get... not in this muthafuka!)

The upside is Natalie will be bumped off the shift completely. The downsides are I'll lose my days off and Mary will be on the shift. She's not as openly obnoxious as Natalie, but... she's also not that great. And she may be a racist and I don't do racists. Thing is... I'm not sure she is... I think she just may be one of those supremely ignorant white folks.

I think she's coming to 3rd shift to stay out of trouble. She has now been disciplined at least once for referring to the female inmates as ********.

As far as I know, she wasn't referring to any particular inmate or any particular race of inmate when she used the term and the first time, the females she was saying it to didn't know the word, so it wasn't reported until after the second incident where she used to term again and a Latino girl knew that the word was a racial slur and reported Mary.

Now Mary's older than I am and you'd think someone of that age would understand that ******* is a racial slur. However, I've known a lot of white people that I know are not racist say racially insensitive things because they actually did not know any better. Or it just never occurred to them or whatever.

My good friend who, as we were walking out of a restaurant (and past a very large black man, of course) decided to say she was glad we were leaving because all the little porch monkeys were getting on her nerves. (Big dude looked at us and I thought we were going to die for a minute!) When we got outside I started scolding her only to find out that she had no clue that ************ was a racial slur... she thought ************ was just in reference to wild/naughty children. (None of the wild/naughty children in the restaurant that were being annoying were black, for the record.)

That's just one example...

Even my ownself... I was probably close to 30 yrs old before it finally hit me in my brain what we were actually saying in the eeny meeny miney moe rhyme. (Nobody was catching tigers in my neighborhood, if ya feel me.) Now, when I was saying that rhyme as a child did I think we were saying to catch a black person by their toe? No... I'm not even sure I had any idea what that word even meant. (I probably thought it was some kind of animal or mythical being or something) And it wasn't honestly until I was well grown that it dawned on me what we had actually been saying.

What if I'd have grown up a little more sheltered (by sheltered, I mean lived more separately from other cultures and what not) and never had that insight? Mary lived in one of those more sheltered towns. She still lives in that area and drives to work... she's not the brightest or most enlightened bulb in the box...

And I've never seen or heard any hint of racism from her.

But that doesn't mean she's not a racist, of course. And... shit. I've got to go. Three more after tonight... (Though more overtime looms on the horizon... as soon as tomorrow morning & Tuesday morning. Yay.)
 

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Jaysus can this week end.

Not that it matters as, my 1.5 days off will breeze by and I'll be to this again almost like I never got that wee little break. And it's not likely to change any time soon. I got two fuck off emails today! Woo hoo! It's ridiculous, honestly, as these are two of the positions that have extremely high turnover and can't keep people. And yet... I can't even get a chance.

Sounds about right.

Nothing much going on, to be honest. Just... going to work. Don't have any real opportunities to do anything else. Can't get time off to go... anywhere. Can't visit my friends cuz we keep different hours/days off. Not that I'm fundamentally opposed to hanging out on my patio, because I'm not. Even more so since the pandemic stuff... but still...

It'd be nice to have an actual break for a minute or five. Not happening, but it would be nice.

The admin secretary that's trying to run our facility sent out an email asking us about what our expectations are for our youthful offenders. I haven't responded to that yet, but I will. Because the truth of that matter is that it doesn't matter what we expect of them when there are zero consequences for not meeting those expectations.

I mean, it's like an employer having the expectation that you show up to work on time every day, but then having zero consequences whatever if you do not. Of course, there are going to be some people (ME! I hate being late!) that are always going to show up on time, whether there are consequences or not, but there are going to be far more people who just roll in whenever the fuck they want.

Our facility currently has no consequences for the youthful offenders. We have a point based behavioral management program that does absolutely nothing. It's actually so useless than many staff no longer even take away points for poor behavior since doing so means absolutely nothing. The kids don't care if they lose points because there aren't any negative consequences. (Oooh... go to your cell 30 mins earlier... ooooh)

And... if you, as an inmate, really fuck up the point program (like keeping very few points each day or having zero points a lot of the time) do you know what happens? You get rewarded! They make a special program just for you. It'll be some toddler level stuff like 1) follows directions first time asked 2) doesn't call staff names. Yup. That's the whole program. Staff will write a yes or a no for each of those things... if you don't get any nos, you get snacks that nobody else gets! (And yes... we've had inmates, especially younger kids, behave poorly so they could get onto a program like this for the very purpose of getting sweets. Because it's always sweets.)

It's lame as fuuuuuuuuck.

Just like the rest of the place, yeah?

Working full time for the past... oh... forty years or so, has taught me a lot of things. Work smart, not hard. Hard work is not appreciated. If a job isn't meeting your expectations, leave. As soon as damn possible. Don't stick around thinking it'll get better, because it probably won't. Cut your losses and move on. Move on until you find some place that meets your expectations, whatever they may be.

My mom was fired from her 2nd to the last job (of 17 yrs) for doing her job too well, thus making the other employees look bad. (For realz...) The employers reward for my mom's 17 years of hard work was to fire her...

Companies have zero loyalty to their employees anymore. You are a cog. They won't miss you when you're gone. No reason for you to treat them any differently than they treat you. Life is too goddamn short to work your ass off for someone who doesn't give a fat rat's ass about you.

And... I have to go. Fat rat's ass reminded me of a song... so enjoy some Kevin Bloody Wilson...

 

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Well...

Doug is gone for good. I will likely never see him again and I'm quite ok with that.

The union sent pizza for us. It was yummy. That was the best part of the night.

The agency? The agency did nothing. Did not even acknowledge the fact that a 30 yr employee was retiring. Not even an email. Nothing. Not that I expected them to do anything. I did not. They don't give a fuck about their employees, so why would they bother acknowledging his retirement? They're probably annoyed that they have yet another vacancy to fill as we're down yet another staff.

I got another fuck off email, so I'm not going anywhere. I think I still have one application floating about (right now) that I've not heard back from... it's been nearly two weeks, so they're not going to bother me with an interview, either... they just haven't gotten around to sending the email yet.

And that's how that goes.

I sure do wish that all these places that are in desperate need of help and can't find enough people to hire actual paid a decent wage, cuz I'd be all over them if they did. I mean... there are a metric shit ton of jobs around here if you want to work for $8 to $13 hrly.

I even thought about being a janitor for the elementary school here. That'd be an easy gig. Wouldn't take me any gas (I could ride a bike in good weather, if I had a bike!) and all that... or even work as a para. But our school district is small... last I saw, paras were only making $9 hrly... I don't expect the janitors were making much more than $12.

I do look, though. A job in my town would be awesome. There really aren't any jobs in my town though. McDonald's, Casey's General Store, the market... that's about it. (Well, there are other very small businesses, but they're not paying anything and not really even hiring as they're more family businesses.)

Well... I guess I just keep riding it out until I get somewhere else. If I ever get anywhere else.

This Afghanistan nonsense.

Yet another case of our meddling going quite sideways. Never should've been there in the first place. Definitely should've been out after Bin Laden was whacked. Definitely shouldn't waste our time, tax payer dollars and American military lives on people who are unwilling to stand up and spill some of their own blood.

Wasting a shit load of tax payer money on people/places/things that don't deserve any of it is why we can't have nice things. Just think of what that 20 yrs of tax payer money could have funded at home.

I'm not a big fan of us thinking we need to police everyone else. I'm not for just sitting in our own bubble and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist, either, but Jesus Christ the nonsense we get involved in for pretty much no reason.

The Sandbox? These motherfuckers have been running about waging war against each other since before the times of Jesus Henry Christ. They're not likely to stop anytime soon. Or ever, maybe. There's no reason for us to involve ourselves in any of that nonsense. Let 'em kill each other.

We have enough whackadoos here to be dealing with... we don't need to go elsewhere and find someone else's whackadoos to get after. It's absolutely ridiculous to think otherwise.

There's a difference between stepping up/stepping in to help allies and running about poking our nose into everyone else's shenanigans. We have some strange notion that everyone else wants what we have (or some version of it, at least) and that's just not true. Most maybe... to some degree... but not all.

My nephew lost an underling to covid 19 yesterday. Young man about my nephew's age. Young husband and father to a six year old girl. An otherwise healthy young (about my nephew's age, so late 20s) corrections officer couldn't fight off the virus. Quite sad.

I do wish people would get vaxx'd. I'm not saying this young man was not vaxx'd because I don't know that information.. however, this is a red state and there are anti vaxxers and anti maskers aplenty running about, so I would not be surprised at all to find out he was not vaxx'd.

I'm leaning more and more toward being a nomad some day. Selling everything, buying a new smallish pull camper and a new suv or truck... and then spending the rest of my days without a permanent address. Meandering around these United States, seeing the sees and going where I damn well feel like going.

I could easily live this way on just my SSI checks... and I'd have a shit ton of extra money, just in case. (My retirement money + house money... so... maybe half a mil or so? Probably a bit less than that, but... whatever.)

Living this way is actually very appealing to me. Just me and a pup roaming around doing fuck all. Going to warm places in the winter and cool places in the summer... exploring the explores and all that fun stuff. With pretty much everything being done online and all that... there's no real reason to have a permanent address or anything.

I'd blast through the home front now and then... holidays and shit, probably, but... elsewise? Just meander about. Camping out every day. Patio perching every day. Hanging out with whatever pup I have at the time. Just... being a free spirit and an introvert at the same time. Just... do peace and quiet every day. Sounds lovely, yeah?

We'll see how it all plays out, I suppose.
 
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