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Fellow INFJs- question. How efficient is your Ni process? Meaning, do you reach conclusions quickly and easily or does it take time and effort/ lots of thinking to get to something you can (almost?) blindly trust?
 

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Fellow INFJs- question. How efficient is your Ni process? Meaning, do you reach conclusions quickly and easily or does it take time and effort/ lots of thinking to get to something you can (almost?) blindly trust?
I think this has a lot to do with age and experience or the type of situation that we are processing. Ni is a function that develops and becomes more efficient with the more knowledge it has, since it is a pattern seeking 'inside the box' type of thing. For me, normal everyday thing such as expressions, emotional states, and motivations of other people come almost instantaneously (in conjunction with Fe of course), I can sense their emotional reasoning/or lack there of pretty much right away just due to having experience being around a lot of people.

The thing that takes me the longest (often days or weeks) is the motivation or overall behavior patterns of myself (why do I do the things I do, or say to another person, what is it that I really subconsciously expect/want from them). Deep down, behind our every action, thoughts, or words are deep motivations of how we want to be treated or seen, in relation to the other person. This takes absolute honesty, as a lot of our true self thoughts and motivations can have a seemingly selfish root, so I feel this is where Ni can shine but also where it can take the longest to uncover the hidden meanings of our lives.
 

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Considering five courses for the fall... everything from bioethics to Shakespeare to philosophy. I'll probably only be able to work two into my schedule, but... we'll see. Depends upon when they all get going. If I can get through one, mostly, before another starts... I'll be able to get more squeeze in there.

Gonna get my learn on... give this beautiful brain of mine something to do with itself.

Movies on the agenda for tonight and tomorrow night. I've only got 4 left... so... I'll be all done with them this week. Which is ok. I need to get back on track with coursework next week. Get ready for my finals.

Jake brought the movie End of Watch last night. That was... eh. Ok, I guess. Something to do. But a horribly predictable movie. (Are there any movies that aren't, though? Really? Seems like everything I watch, you know how it's going to end about 10 minutes into the movie. That's really fucking annoying.) I should've been watching lectures, but... I watched this instead.

I have the sweetest dog in the world. When I went to bed this morning, he curled up right next to my chest, then put his head on the pillow next to mine. After a bit, he moved about a little and ended up sleeping next to my chest with his head on my shoulder. :proud:

After graduation from the academy, the boy's gonna be working 3rd shift like me... same hours and everything. We've already determined that there shall be many morning of IHOP after work. Had I not been bumped by Doug, we could've even rode to work together... our facilities are right next door to each other... but my shift starts 30 minutes after his... maybe next shift bid I'll get my hours back. Hell, the boy even got Thurs/Fri off... as a brand new employee. That's... people in my facility would die to have a weekend day off. People who've worked in our facility for several years. Of course, our administrators try to make people miserable, so they keep eliminating shifts with weekend days off... there's no reason for it, they just like to irritate the masses. (And they do) The boy's lucky... very lucky.

I just noticed an "infractions" tab on my profile. I'm amused by this. I'm infracted! :shocked: Well, I knew that already... just didn't realize there was a tab for it. Cool. I have 10 points, too. No fucking idea what that even means. Don't care. I find it all quite amusing. :laughing:

I'm horrible with rules and people flexing on me. Tell me to stop doing something (especially if I wasn't doing it in the first place) or else and... we're certainly going to find out what or else is cuz... well, hell I'm contrary and I need to see what or else is... let's make all these ultimatimatums worth everybody's effort, for fuck sake. This behavior gets me into trouble all the time... but, hey... that just makes life interesting. Besides, it's amusing to get everybody all in a huff over absolutely ridiculous stuff. Well. It amuses me, anyway. :wink:

I have to censor myself cuz Tá deartháir mór breathnú... and camping on my profile. :tongue:

Ingrid Loyau-Kennett is a bad ass... she confronted terrorists in Woolwich today after said terrorists ran down a soldier with an auto then beheaded him in the street. You got some kinda brass if you're going to do that, let me tell you.

bad ass mom.jpg

That dude's still gotta knife in his hand. Seriously... that takes some kinda cojones, yo.
 

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Today, the other single guy from work asked me out for lunch again. I had to decline because I had already made arrangements with another friend. He said "Sure, no worries - catch you next week." He grinned and dropped by my desk later in the afternoon. He complimented me on my coat as I was leaving (to be fair, it was a nice coat).

Ni: hmmm......
 

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I can't work out today. I ran past my pathetic excuse of a limit so my ankle is really sore. I'm missing out in the fun so instead I guess I can do 1/3 of an assignment I was given for a class I've recently taken. Sigh. Maybe I can finally get around to finishing a book and attempting to learn calligraphy? Hmmmm.....
 

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Late getting home cuz I was late getting out. Had one come in late in the shift to be booked in and he was a big kid and an extremely unhappy one, so along with Sam & Rick in booking, they also brought in Malachi & myself... in the event we needed to roll this kid up. (Most often, overwhelming officer presence is enough to keep them from getting all froggy... but not always.)

The cop that brought him was pissed at the kid. The kid was pissed at the cop. They were escalating each other. This is annoying because one of these people is supposed to be a professional and an adult... :dry: About 5 minutes of trying to deal with this pissed off kid, while the cop is intentionally trying to provoke him and I'd had plenty enough. I told the officer to knock it the fuck off... in a slightly less profane and slightly more professional fashion.

The reaction to my request was mean mugging and then being called a bitch in Espanol... which he tried to do under his breath, but I heard him and that really made me even less happy.

Me: Say it again.
He: What?
Me: Say it again.
He: ...
Me: I heard you. Say it again.
He: ...
Me: Don't be a punk...
Sam: War...
Me: Say it again...
Sam: War...

I went quiet for about... 10 seconds then let loose a barrage of every Spanish swear word & curse I know. This did not make the City's Finest very damned happy at all.

He: (to Sam) You're the supervisor, you gonna do something about that?
Sam: I have no idea what he said.
He: He swore at me.
Sam: *shrugging* I don't speak Spanish.
He: Whatever.

Interestingly enough (but not at all surprising), the kid calmed down during all of this, so I sorta helped defuse the situation by getting annoyed. First, the heat was off him... and second he sorta saw us (or me, at least) as being a unified front against the "asshole cop".

After the cop left... Sam & I talked.

He: What'd he say to you?
Me: He called me a bitch under his breath. But I heard him.
He: Ah.
Me: I hate when people talk shit behind you. Fucking pussies & cowards do that shit.
He: What'd you say to him?
Me: Every curse & swear in Spanish I could think of off the top of my head.
He: The only word I recognized was madre... I can guess what the rest of that swear was...
Me: Yes you can...

I've had go 'rounds with cops inside the facility before... some really nasty ones... but it has been a very long time since the last time I got into it with one of them. I'm reasonably sure I've not had a row with one of the City's Finest since we've been in this new facility... and that's been... 11 yrs. A really long time.

The last time I remember being involved in verbal altercation with the police whilst in the facility, I wasn't directly involved in the incident, but for stepping between the two parties involved... which was a PD sergeant and a 3rd shift (female, even) supervisor. I thought the two of them were going to physically come to blows in booking one night... to the point where I actually stepped between them. (That supervisor, who's since been fired, was a bitch... but in her defense that sergeant, with whom I've dealt with for many years in this job and in others, is a complete and utter asshole. One of the biggest pricks in uniform I've ever come across.)

But yeah. That's a fun way to end the shift. Sam wasn't even mad at me. He really doesn't speak any Spanish, so he really didn't have any damned idea what I said. (I'm not entirely sure I know what all I said... I just flung out everything I could think of and may have even made some shit up.) Sam still could've... been dickish about it all, since he knew I wasn't saying anything polite, even if he couldn't understand a word I said. But... I think he was about as tired of homeboy being an ass as I was.

And... I was going to go to bed early today. And that's not going to happen.

Ah, well. C'est la vie, oui?
 

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Listening yet again to Skrillex's 'Summit' (with bass boost up) makes me think of my friend. It's so him. He transports me to another level. This is a gift. Always a gift.

I'm the baby. He's the toddler. Forever young in spirit no matter what.
 

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Feta cheese on watermelon is surprisingly delicious, as I learned yesterday at dinner. I wish I was eating it right now.
 

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My Fiance has recently taken to trying to convince me that William Shakespeare is a fictional character, and not a real human that lived. :laughing: his sense of humor never ceases to amuse me. Once he got off of the sofa and I heard him mutter 'This is Sparta!' to himself....
 

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crisis averted
 
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Great day yesterday! Graduation (boring!), but got the boy started off on his career. Cook out with the fam... even ate outside, the weather held and didn't rain till much later. Sat outside with my dad, his gf and my sis & bil until 10p or so... good times. I was a little high during all that though, cuz my shoulder hurt like a bitch all day yesterday... finally had to take narcotics to calm it down. Shoulder stopped hurting but spent the rest of the night all fluffy headed... which wasn't entirely displeasing, to be perfectly honest.

Today... already ran errands. More time with the fam in a few hours... hanging out for dad's bday this time. Hopefully tomorrow I can rest. By the time today's over, I'll have had plenty of togetherness for one weekend, me thinks.
 

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Hoping for a quiet day today. Maybe some patio perching if the weather holds. Drink some vodka, listen to music, chill. I'm about done with being social... way too much of that this weekend. If it were winter, I'd probably never come up from the cave, just to avoid interacting with other human beings... but since it's summer, I want to be outside as much as humanly possible which opens me up to the possiblity of more socialization.

Ugh.

And I'm tired. I should be sleeping as I didn't do much of that last night. (4 hrs. Maybe?)
 

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What a lovely day! Much patio perching... some vodka consumption... grilled bbq chicken (yum)... drove about the city for a bit. Home and chatting with sis, bil & niece for a while. Got a fire going. Had s'mores! The boy came over... my mission for the night/morning was to keep him awake as he starts his job tonight, 3rd shift just like me. He needed to stay up so he could sleep properly before work.

We sat around the fire & bs'd for... a very long time. Storms rolled in, bringing gusty winds (briefly, but we didn't know it would be such), so we put the fire out. Sat on the patio under the roof and watched it storm for... 2.5 hrs. (Lots of lightening and it rained like all hell. Nothing severe, just a good old fashioned... and sustained... thunderstorm.)

At 0410, we decided to call it a night. Going to bed in a bit. (0500 maybe?) Had to eat that left over bbq chicken. (Even better cold, yo!) Now just gonna chill and read some email for a little while... let eye lids get heavy. Then a trip to the Land of Nod will be in order.

Every fucking weekend should be as awesome as this weekend. Seriously good times. (Almost too much socialization... almost.)
 

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I've a few stored up that have been mouldering since my internet went down and I'd nowhere I felt like putting them.
I just saw a thread asking you to put down ten facts about yourself, and thought it might be fun, so I typed in "1." and thought about what I'd say. Then I felt this massive ball of dread in my stomach, because I started thinking about how the hell it's possible to condense one person's life into ten little sentences. (That thought probably stemmed from pre-exam anxiety).

If alcohol really does cause people to tell truths, not talk made-up, confused babble, then I'm an exceptionally okay person to be around. i went to a party for the first time in about three? Two? years the other week, and walked out having been told I'm super nice, funny, cute etc. One of the people I'm really close with but talk with only scantily told me she'd "happily marry" me, and that I was some sort of inspiration or something to her, which was confusing as hell seeing as I was convinced she really disliked me.

If the simplest explanation is usually the right one, I guess it's just misfortunate for me that the simplest explanation for all that is ME is that I'm gay, which I've no problem with but, unfortunately, is not true (unfortunately because then I'd probably make sense as a human being)

The last thought I feel like sharing is that I'm worried about how I'm so often stuck in this ball of dreaming where imagination and reality kind of mingle and become hard to differentiate between. It's like I'm watching life from underwater, or I'm behind some veil of ever-present, perpetually-moving thoughts and judgements and daydreams. What worries me is that this THING takes up 90% of my conscious mind, so that I'm always exhausted and never fully focus on the present. This then makes me worry that I am drifting, dreaming and slowly slowly slipping into a mediocre life, which is my one true fear, that I'll slip into some cesspit of maturity and routine and stubborness and boredom, otherwise known as Adulthood.

And now, having given myself a headache and anxiety and having let crappy thoughts pervade my mind recently, I'm going to bed and hoping morning is somehow better x
 
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Back to work tonight. :dry: Sad to leave the weekend behind. Nice way to begin the start of summer. Now if the rest of the summer was as much fun this last weekend? All will be fantastic. There was almost too much socializing. Almost. But it ended with just me and the boy for the last 4 hrs or so. Sitting for the last 2.5 and watching it storm, whilst chatting and planning.

The Ireland/Scotland trip is marked for 2015. Now that we have that much narrowed down, I can start planning all the contingencies. We've decided on a two week trip... so we'll be spending some time. I would've liked to go early next year, but... no way the boy will be able to have afford to go by then. Monetarily or vacation time wise. But we've solidly planned for 2015... so it's time to put money away & start stock piling vacation time. (Actually... I have a shit load of vacation time, even for as much as I use... I still have about 100 hrs right now.)

Apparently, according to the weather dudes on tv, it rained 3" during that storm in the wee morning hours. :shocked: I'm not surprised. We sat there and watched it all. It poured, nonstop, for... close to two hours. Might storm tonight... the masses are concerned about flash flooding. Lots of standing water all about from this morning.

The lightening last night was pretty awesome and nonstop. The sky was constantly flashing. Mostly cloud to cloud lightening, from what we could tell. Very few strikes coming to the ground. It was so dark in the north sometimes, that we were somewhat concerned... but we were also watching radar on the phones and the weather alert radio was on as well... nothing.

Tornado sirens apparently sounded north and east of us (an hour drive away each direction), but nothing came of that either.

And I slept wonderfully when I went to bed. Dreamt of hanging out in cabins (I smelled of camp smoke, so that's probably why) and all sorts of pleasant things. It was nice... and I think I'm going to take a nap about now... catch a few more zzzzzs before work.
 

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I wonder if I should just stay out of the city? The more I visit it the more I pine when I’m away. I’m crazy about the warring colors and patterns and the way the sun comes down in beams between the spaces.

Be still, my heart.
 

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Tired. Shouldn't have stayed up so late this morning. Especially since I wasn't doing anything but fucking around, anyway.

Watched lectures and did quiz 5 last night. Last quiz and I missed a question. :dry: Lowered my average from 96% to 92%. Makes me quite unhappy. Just have the final left. I have at least two more lectures to watch... and some reading to do. Not sure when the final is going to be... I'll just wait patiently. I better ace that final.

Had breakfast with the boy & RN this morning. The boy texted me at 0605, immediately after his shift... wanted to talk shop, so we thought breakfast would be a good idea. RN texted me at 0625 asking if I was interested in doing breakfast as she was going in to work later due to a procedure that had been schedule early having been cancelled. Breakfast was good, but a little... awkward? They'd not met before, but the boy knows who she is... and what the relationship is. He's not opposed to such things, of course, he's just... it's a different kind of relationship, eh? He can't get a girlfriend (as of yet) so it's hard for him to understand how I have a non girlfriend that I have sex with, lol. (He's getting neither, poor lad.) I mean... he knows her of why and my end of why... but, well... it's just different.

So. Maybe awkward wasn't really the right word. I think he was... curious & absorbing everything. (not that we discussed everything there, as we didn't. But I have discussed with him previously.)

After breakfast, on the drive home, stopped at a deer vs. auto mva... car parts strewn all over the two northbound lanes. Dead deer also in the midst of one of the lanes... had to slow from 70 mph to 5 mph to navigate all the pieces parts (some quite large) in the road. Stopped as well to make sure the driver was ok... he assured me (x2) that he was, so... off I went. Quite glad that bambi decided to run out in front of that guy and not in front of me...

My supervisor Jake is interested in having my nephew rent his basement. I suppose after the divorce, he's needing someone to help him pay for his house. He said he thought of my nephew cuz the kid could afford the place (not that he's charging a lot, because he's not), wouldn't bring drugs into his house, wouldn't steal his stuff and could be trusted around his three little girls. I told my nephew about what Jake was offering and told him how to get a hold of him. I'll let them sort it out for themselves. I'm not sure if my nephew is interested or not, but it'd be a cheap (less than half of what most decent apartments go for locally) way to get out of the parental home, which at nearly 20... he desperately wants to do.

It'd be sorta weird having my nephew live with one of my supervisors, though.

Also have narrowed travel plans to Ireland/Scotland to the first two weeks of May, 2015. (tenatively) More plans are in the works, of course, but we can't narrow down a more specific date for a while yet. But that's the target time period.

And now? I must nap, I think!
 

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Walking out of the building this morning with Rick & Malachi... it's sprinkling. We get in the middle of the parking lot and a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky followed by a healthy clap of thunder. Rick goes bolting off (right quickly, I might add) away from me to my left, to join Mal, all the while screeching "Get away from War! Get away from War!"

Me: "God is not going to strike me down."
He: "How do you know?"
Me: "Because there is no God, you idiot."
He: "Oh... now, you've gone and done it." *While flailing dramatically, of course* "Run, Mal, Run!"

Malachi, of course, is quite amused by the whole situation. Probably cuz Rick was in fine form all night long. (He's a bit of a goof ball.) Made the end of the work day just a little bit better. :wink:
 
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