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OMG, I'm sure Addie is adorbs! :blushed:

Hmm....
Aw thanks!!! I'm just going to go ahead and say I'll never know... And my classmates in Spanish class wonder why it's so hard for me to write a one sentence description of how I look! :tongue:
 

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Thanks! :blushed: I think I have enough self-confidence already though.
I refuse to believe that until I see face, hmph!
Kidding, of course. If you don't feel comfortable posting a pic, it's totes fine. :)

I only acquired the self confidence unlock last year. It's a great feeling. :wink:
I wouldn't know.... :unsure:
 

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I only acquired the self confidence unlock last year. It's a great feeling. :wink:
It is a good feeling, isn't it? I got it when I was a senior in high school. I had confidence in some things (my athlectic ability, for example), but in most things? Not so much. It is a very liberating thing to get one's hands on, certainly.

I wouldn't know.... :unsure:
You will. Something or someone will come along and help you open that door. Probably when you least expect it. What's silly is, that the confidence is already in you... you just don't know where it is yet. (Or you don't believe you truly have it... but you do.)

~~~

The end of the work week, finally. I'm ready for that. I want to sleep. A lot. I didn't want to get up this evening... I was enjoying my bed entire too much. I might go enjoy my sofa for a while in a few minutes. Sleep sounds better than anything else at the moment.

They say our temps this weekend will be record lows. :dry: Fantastic. Snow, they say. But it'll probably not amount to much. That bit's good, I guess. But the cold? Seriously? It's almost March for fucks sake.

My coworker, Rick, is going to Ireland/Scotland/Englad in two years... so he was excited to find out I'm going next year. He's Irish (and English) and he and his family are going to be doing some family research in Ireland. Trying to find out where their people come from... apparently, his dad is very interested in geneology.

He's also quite into GoT, so we had quite the convo last night between those two subjects, lol.

My bones have been hurting quite a bit lately and I should be taking narcotics for the pain because it's well above baseline, but... once I get home, I don't want to go back outside and therefore I don't get to the pharmacy. As long as I can sleep, I figure I'm still good, lol. Walking? Eh... ok, it's a struggle cuz it hurts so damned much, but... whatever. It's too cold, lol.

My doc would not be happy that I'm choosing being warm over keep pain in check. But... I'm choosing warm over keeping pain in check, lol. I'm so tired of the cold.

Nap time, me thinks. One of the janitors and I were talking last night. I told him I could deal with being in jail for like... a weekend. So I could just sleep and read and not have to do shit. People would even bring me my food, lol. He wasn't quite as down for that as I was, but... I can certainly see the upside to a few days in a cell.
 

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I wouldn't know.... :unsure:
See below...

It is a good feeling, isn't it? I got it when I was a senior in high school. I had confidence in some things (my athlectic ability, for example), but in most things? Not so much. It is a very liberating thing to get one's hands on, certainly.

You will. Something or someone will come along and help you open that door. Probably when you least expect it. What's silly is, that the confidence is already in you... you just don't know where it is yet. (Or you don't believe you truly have it... but you do.)
Exactly that. There was a point in my life where I never thought I'd feel like this and now I'm here. Looking back it seems so simple. Don't force it, it will happen.
 

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You will. Something or someone will come along and help you open that door. Probably when you least expect it. What's silly is, that the confidence is already in you... you just don't know where it is yet. (Or you don't believe you truly have it... but you do.)
I think I fall under the second category but if anyone can get me to believe in myself, it's Houndy. :tongue:

Exactly that. There was a point in my life where I never thought I'd feel like this and now I'm here. Looking back it seems so simple. Don't force it, it will happen.
:proud:
 

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Exactly that. There was a point in my life where I never thought I'd feel like this and now I'm here. Looking back it seems so simple. Don't force it, it will happen.
It was quite simple with me. It just took a few words and *poof* there it was. I was holding myself back the entire time. But, I suppose that's why they call it "self" confidence, eh? Once someone said the magic words, I stopped getting in my own way...
I think I fall under the second category but if anyone can get me to believe in myself, it's Houndy. :tongue:
It can be anybody. Mine came from that shrink that I refused to talk to, believe it or not. (Again, a long story for another day...) Him and the results of testing (from a variety of things, including MBTI & MMPI)... essentially, the magic words were "You're not stupid and there's nothing wrong with you"... and telling my parents to lay off, lol.

That's what's so silly to me, looking back. Nothing really changed. All I did was choose to believe him and what he said over what other people had been telling me for years. The only thing that changed was whom I choosed to believe. And looking back on that from this point in time... I feel quite silly for having lacked confidence in myself. It was me getting in the way of myself that was the problem. It had nothing to do with anyone else.

Which is why I don't give two shits about what people say or think now. Fuck 'em. They're not gonna take my shine, yo. :laughing:

~~~

Had a lovely doze... woke up late because the alarm didn't go off. And the alarm didn't go off because it thought I wanted to wake up at 830p next Tuesday. :dry: Which... I would've been quite fine with, honestly. Work, however, probably not so much. I'm annoyed with the alarm because I knew it was on Tuesday and I changed it. And I know I did because it went from "alarm to go off in 5 days & blah, blah, blah" to "alarm to go off in 1h, 39m". Somehow... it changed itself back.

Ghost in the Machine...
 

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Freeeeeeedom!!! :laughing:

Finally. Though the night wasn't bad. Just long. The last bit was long anyway. The rest of it wasn't so bad at all.

My nephew Snap Chatting me vids of himself drinking Bud Light and Jamesons was rather annoying, though. And me with naught but a bottle of water and a book. Little asshole. :dry:

So, yeah. I read. And daydreamed. But mostly read. That was it.

My pain levels are still beastly and it's still cold outside. I should be taking stuff for it but... I dunno. Maybe I'll get the script filled this morning. Or not. Depends upon how I feel about freezing my ass off in an hour & a half, I guess. The stairs are very difficult today... it's days like this that make me wish I did have a cane already... one would certainly be beneficial at the moment. But... I don't have one... and I don't really want one. It's bad enough that I know that's my future...

Oh well. Such is life.

I'm off to install a game. Old one I found lying about. Just wanna see if it'll run on this pc...
 

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Saw a licence plate on the way to work last night that said TWU WUV... made me smile out loud. :proud:

Ah, ya gotta love Peter Cook, rest his soul.

I posted this in one of the groups I belong to and said that anybody who didn't get the reference made me sad. The first to respond is an ENTJ.

ENTJ: Who would get that?!? People are so lame. Sappy people puke me out.
Me: Dude. It's a movie reference.
ENTJ: What movie?
Me: The Princess Bride.
ENTJ: That explains it. I would never watch a movie called Princess Bride!
Me: Dude, just... never mind. You're making my brain hurt.
ENTJ: Stupid sappy vomity love stories...
Me: You're barkin' without knowing what you're even talking about and you're making an ass of yourself.
Some people's kids, I swear. :dry:
 

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Kung fu..best decision I ever made to pick this up.

Played with my first bo staff yesterday. My arms are sorely out of shape, literally--so sore in one it hurts even to type. :laughing: The lessons are 90 minutes each, so 90 minutes of swinging that thing around. And of course, my sifu is one of those kinds who tells you to hold it out at arms length for 6 minutes straight as he (with great humor) paces sloooooooooowly around the class giving corrections. It's a lot of fun, though--it takes a LOT out of you, but everyone is so enthusiastic about it and supportive to each other that it's a good kind of ouch.

The greatest benefit is the clearing of the mind, though. A good workout makes me too tired to think. It turns off that ever constant angry critic. Makes room for other thoughts and judgements from the quieter parts of my brain. Or absolutely nothing, which is nice, too.

Here's to next Tuesday!

It was quite simple with me. It just took a few words and *poof* there it was. I was holding myself back the entire time. But, I suppose that's why they call it "self" confidence, eh? Once someone said the magic words, I stopped getting in my own way...


It can be anybody. Mine came from that shrink that I refused to talk to, believe it or not. (Again, a long story for another day...) Him and the results of testing (from a variety of things, including MBTI & MMPI)... essentially, the magic words were "You're not stupid and there's nothing wrong with you"... and telling my parents to lay off, lol.

That's what's so silly to me, looking back. Nothing really changed. All I did was choose to believe him and what he said over what other people had been telling me for years. The only thing that changed was whom I choosed to believe. And looking back on that from this point in time... I feel quite silly for having lacked confidence in myself. It was me getting in the way of myself that was the problem. It had nothing to do with anyone else.

Which is why I don't give two shits about what people say or think now. Fuck 'em. They're not gonna take my shine, yo.
I kinda want to frame this and stick it on my wall. This is what it was like for me, too, the shrink and everything. Well, not quite everything. There were some jackasses in my life that didn't help matters. But you can't go through life blaming other people for a lack of confidence. Eventually you just have to say...fuck 'em, I'm paving my own road. I know what's best for me and I'm gonna do it!

Work in progress, however. :proud:
 

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How much can one heart/emotions endure?

Seems I'm amid testing this right now.

Sons. Man in life.

My mother telling me to "just be honest with everybody."
Seriously?
First, I have no obligation to explain ANYTHING TO ANYONE.
Second, she has been so deceitful and manipulative her entire life she has no idea that her last betrayal (point blank in your face I might add) was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Not only did that straw break the camel's back, but the poor thing had to be put down too. Let us not dig up a dead camel!

I'm exhausted, weary and not sure how much more I can take. All this with the fact that I'm standing up for myself and have been for the last several years. I can't even fathom where I would be had I not begun that around the ripe young age of 40. WAIT, I'm only 27! I forgot! hahahahahaha

Yay, at least I amused myself.

Now that I think of it this should be put on the "Vent Thread". OOPS. Sue me.

 

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You wanna hear about my new obsession?
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains :crazy:
I've been listening to Garbage lately. Stupid Girl is probably my favorite. Reminds me of the 90s. Such better music.
 
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