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My mom just came in to "bond" with me, ask me how I'm doing. I'm not an atom. I don't do bonding. But my gosh, she is nothing if not persistent. Just wouldn't shut up despite my less than discreet signals that I completely wasn't interested. So I started blasting The Wall. Comfortably Numb, to be specific. I don't think she got the symbolism, which is a pity because I thought it was clever. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

I'm a real bastard, I know.
 

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2:02 am here, I cannot sleep.
I've missing this nights when my mind is high and all can do is wondering about other's lives, behaviors, chooses.

And now I know which my path is. I learned it in the hardest way. I see you as my reflection, you think you're happy as long as you have somebody to fuck. But Love isn't lust.
You think you'll be free with a paper which says your name and allows you to work anywhere. But freedom is not a job.
I've seen you above me, now under me. Im not self righteous, I just want to understand. Why do you lie to yourself?
Sad thing is that you lie to others as well. I wonder how your future will be in 5, 6, 10 years; when all lies had been wasted. You won't be nothing by your own.

But I... Im not that different from you. At least my path is mine. When I find others on my way I just want to help them.. Because helping others to grow is to grow oneself. Knowing others is to know thyself.
The truth always comes out at the end.
 
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Sometimes it happens to talk to someone and while that person is talking to me I begin looking at her and I concentrate on such details as her lips, the colour of the hair, the hands, the way she moves her head, the texture of the clothes she's wearing. And I begin to lose contact, I am absorbed by those details. When that person finishes the talking I suddenly get back and find myself unable to give a reply, though I've heard everything. I can only look at her and smile.
 

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Cuz I wrote fragrantly instead of flagrantly! Doh!

Strangely interesting things going on. Someone from 2nd shift needed to be mandated to work OT for 3rd shift as we did not have enough staff. But the person who was mandated refused. Which... technically, you can't refuse mandatory overtime. Refusing mandatory OT is = abandoning your post. Abandoning your post is termination. (If it were just a write up, nobody'd ever stay, right?) But this person... she's "golden" which means she can pretty much do fuck all anything with no consequences.

Dean (2nd shift supervisor) ended up working. Which is also not supposed to happen. 1) It's a violation of the union contract (can't use managers/administrators to avoid OT) 2) That's not how it's supposed to work. If the first person on the list refuses, you move to the 2nd person on the list and so on...

But that's not what happened. And you bet your ass I reported that to the union. Just a minute ago, as a matter of fact. For multiple reasons, really. One of the biggest, besides the violation of the contract, is I'm quite tired to death already of some people being able to do fuck all with no consequences. I have a feeling this person won't even receive a write up, let alone be terminated. And I made sure to point that out to the union Prez when I sent off my email.

Cuz... if people can just refuse MOT without any consequences... then fuck if they're going to make me stay next time around. No supervisor has every jumped in to save me from MOT... all I've ever gotten if I threatened to refuse was to be told I would be terminated if that happened.

With 100% certainty, I know nothing of the sort took place last night.

So, yeah. Frustrating. And they wonder why everyone's at each other's throat all the time? Cronyism is alive and well and thriving, really. And yeah... it happens everywhere. I've been around the block a time or two, I know. But it happens here far more frequently and flagrantly than any other place I've ever worked.

I IHOPped alone this morning. The boy worked a double shift and decided that his bed was more appealing than breakfast. I almost didn't go, but I was hungry. I could've come and had some food... but why, when I can go to IHOP instead? :wink:

And...

I stopped at the convenience store across from work on my way in. And... scored the digits of the girl working that counter. This is the second time (different girl) in the past few years that's done that to me. The first one, a young black girl... totally caught me by surprise. I was sorta speechless. :laughing: (And then when I got back into work, I made Kelly explain to me why this girl had given me her phone number. I mean, I knew why... but... why? :laughing:)

Not quite so taken off guard by it this time. I mean, it wasn't expected or anything. I had no clue there was any interest or anything. (Why would I suspect that? I mean, yeah... I'm in there all the time, but I talk to everyone the same. Just polite.) So she (someone not so young or dark as the last one) gave me her number and said if I was intersted in getting drinks sometimes or something that I should give her a ring.

Yeah. Well. Ok.

Will I do that? Probably not. I mean... she's ok looking, she seems nice. Just that I don't see much more than a superficial lay coming out of it. (Which may be her goal, I have no idea...) And that's fine, I guess, but I'm not really interested in that. I have someone to have sex with... I don't need a random hook up.

*shrugs*

Yeah. Not interested.

So. Good times, right? :wink:
 

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PerC has me labelled as "enthusiast" apparently.
How'd they know??? :frustrating:

I'm close to bubbling and fizzing right now.
Got a great idea! ;)
 

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It's going to be 70 when I get out of class today, BUT I only have 4 weeks of classes left and 4 songs to write & record for class. Do I:

A) Go disc golfing and enjoy the weather, then return to do homework? This would leave no time for music.
B) Go home and do homework, maybe taking a little time to work on music. This would rule out disc golf.
C) Go disc golfing and then go home and do music? This would leave no time for homework.

Bah... I know better. I need to do homework and music... No disc golf for me today. :(
 

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You got off lightly, some people are labelled as "seniors".
Nice! :)
Perhaps i should stop posting now to preserve my enthusiasm
 
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I am tired of feeling tired all the time.

In another note, I think I will watch some episodes of "Are you Afraid of The Dark?". Yesterday I heard the theme song by accident and got super excited like "Oh my gosh, this show", I remember being so addicted to it like any Nickelodeon's show in that moment.

I wish we had a channel named "90s Nickelodeon" :crying:
 

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I was meditating on the condition of wanting to say something to someone, while also being aware that to say it would not change anything, and therefore staying silent on it. A lot of things remain uncleared for this reason; wrongs don't get reproached, advices are not given, truths are not revealed and declarations of love don't get done. I wonder how the world would be, if it was sufficient to just talk in order to change something.
 

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PerC has me labelled as "enthusiast" apparently.
How'd they know??? :frustrating:

I'm close to bubbling and fizzing right now.
Got a great idea! ;)
I had a lovely quip to insert here when I went to quote this... after reading on, quoting others and coming back? I no longer remember what it was... :dry:

Why do we have windchimes inside the house? I mean, they are pretty but it doesn't make sense.
Perhaps it is for the same reason my mom puts artifical plants outside? I don't know what that reason may be, just... seems to like they could possibly be related.

It's going to be 70 when I get out of class today, BUT I only have 4 weeks of classes left and 4 songs to write & record for class. Do I:

A) Go disc golfing and enjoy the weather, then return to do homework? This would leave no time for music.
B) Go home and do homework, maybe taking a little time to work on music. This would rule out disc golf.
C) Go disc golfing and then go home and do music? This would leave no time for homework.

Bah... I know better. I need to do homework and music... No disc golf for me today. :(
This makes me sad. Not as sad as it makes you, I expect, but still... :unsure:

I am tired of feeling tired all the time.

In another note, I think I will watch some episodes of "Are you Afraid of The Dark?". Yesterday I heard the theme song by accident and got super excited like "Oh my gosh, this show", I remember being so addicted to it like any Nickelodeon's show in that moment.

I wish we had a channel named "90s Nickelodeon" :crying:
Strange how it happens, eh? I started thinking about a show I watched when I was kid after I started whistling it's theme song out of the blue. I wasn't even aware of it at first and then I was like... heeeeeey... and that show was on in the 60s! Stuff like that from childhood gets embedded in your brain and it does not go away.

~~~

I must've been seriously tired this morning as I slept like a rock. Dreamt that my little cousin was trying to find his dad (my cousin) and I was... running interference between them for some reason. Not letting the boy see his dad... I'm sure there was a good reason for it in the dream, but damn if I have any idea what it was now.

Never had a dream with either of them in it before. No idea why I decided to do that now. It's not like these are people I see on any bit of a regular basis or anything. I think the last time I saw either of them was about... 10 yrs ago at my other cousin's wedding. No... I saw my cousin a couple years later at Easter... but my little cousin I haven't seen since... his son was a baby and that kid is about 10 now, so I think at my other cousin's wedding for him.

Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just weird that my brain would pluck them outta the mix to dream about.

Kelly scared the hell outta me last night. Not intentionally. I was on max security, which is one half of my unit (each unit has two seperate entities seperated by a common area), doing a round over there and... apparently, I was completely in my head whilst I was doing it... as I never heard Kelly come onto my unit. Which... those doors are fucking loud. So, yeah... way in my head.

So, I finish the round and go back to my desk in the common area... I'm doing something on my tablet and all the sudden the door from the other area (not max security) opens up and I see someone walking out! And I can see someone behind them...

:shocked:

I jump up outta my chair, cuz my first thought is oh shit, I have inmates loose! and you know... that's not a good thought. Then I realized it was Kelly... and... oh shit.

The person I saw behind her was just an inmate standing in the window of his door. He was in his cell.

Wow. Talk about a fucking heart attack! Jesus. :dry:

Kelly must've came into the unit just as I walked onto max security or something. I didn't hear her come in and apparently she was there for a few minutes, talking to the inmate that was standing in his door. I cannot believe I was so in my head that I did not hear that big fucking steel door slam shut. It's not like that's quite, even if you're on an individual cell block.

Certainly snapped outta it when I thought I had inmates on the loose, though. :laughing:

And now the news here is reporting that Lufthansa knew this young pilot had mental health issues... and he was still flying their planes. That's outstanding. :dry:

And... I still need to do my taxes. I'm running outta time. I really need to stop procrastinating and get that done. This weekend, perhaps... dunno why I'm stalling. I'll get money back and a fair amount, too. Just... time has gotten away from me whilst I've been procrastinating... I was meant to do this a long while back and just never did. Really must now...

But not today. :wink:
 

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This makes me sad. Not as sad as it makes you, I expect, but still... :unsure:
Don't pity the fool; I brought this upon myself. As much as I was just "out of it" most of the semester, I can't really claim that as an excuse in the grand scheme of things. I could have just as easily buried myself in homework to forget about things going on. Ya know? But, no big deal. I'll have more time later to disc golf. I just need to catch up before I can start going out again.
 

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Just saw a zombies prank video... I wonder, did anyone get hurt in those kinds of pranks? I mean, some people could have used violence if they believed it could be real. In case of doubt, someone might have seriously hurt the pranksters.
 

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I am tired of feeling tired all the time.

In another note, I think I will watch some episodes of "Are you Afraid of The Dark?". Yesterday I heard the theme song by accident and got super excited like "Oh my gosh, this show", I remember being so addicted to it like any Nickelodeon's show in that moment.

I wish we had a channel named "90s Nickelodeon" :crying:
I was going to link you a website that played old Nickelodeon shows 24/7 but they're getting sued and the site is offline. :crying:
 
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