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Most important is physical attractiveness, which I favor unconventional but still fit. I'm fairly sapiosexual so intelligence is another key component. I also generally can't have sex with someone I don't trust morally. If I see someone as being not intelligent enough I also do not tend to trust them.

I value strength of spirit very much, favor egalitarian social relationships, but prefer to be sexually dominant.

I enjoy threesomes recreationally, but generally long for the unrealistic single transcendent romance.
 

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I do like bondage. I do like rough play and getting lost in the moment. I don't always like foreplay, but sometimes it's just necessary for a successful "match." IME, I like being blinded and teased, I prefer to be the sub as I'm a little too awkward and clumsy to be dom. A variety of positions, actions, anything to make it enjoyable and fun is good for me. Intensity is awesome, but I also like the fun aspect of it.
 

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Aw hell, I'm a minority here as far as sexual preference goes (being gay, though occasionally, a woman will come across as so attractive that she'll make me consider the possibility of picking her brain and then jumping her! lol) but, I can say that in the bedroom, I don't limit much, because each sexual act to me is a reflection of the bottom of the mind of the other person; it's a great way to feel/know the experience range the person is capable of which makes it great...bringing up/suggesting an idea/experiment is the best way to get me to try it, because it gives me time to consider/reflect if in someway, I'll be for, against, or bothered by it, though I welcome spontaneous sexual expression ANY day of the week!
 

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Most important is physical attractiveness, which I favor unconventional but still fit. I'm fairly sapiosexual so intelligence is another key component. I also generally can't have sex with someone I don't trust morally. If I see someone as being not intelligent enough I also do not tend to trust them.

I value strength of spirit very much, favor egalitarian social relationships, but prefer to be sexually dominant.

I enjoy threesomes recreationally, but generally long for the unrealistic single transcendent romance.
Couldn't have said it better myself man in all areas! Damn, are INFJ's linked Telepathically? lol
 

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I'm a little surprised that bondage is so popular in INFJs, for some reason...maybe it's more popular all around the board and we're the ones who admit it?? ;)

I'm into BDSM and dominance/submission, but only on the submissive end of things. I think it would be weird to be the top...my hubby wouldn't appreciate it either. :p
 

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For myself, I feel that love and romance is an avenue of exploring the soul. Or perhaps using words like "soul" or "spiritual" are the only words I feel comfortable using to describe the indescribable. It's almost as if there is some sort of possession that takes, far exceeding hormonal lust, when two people in seemingly perfect synchronicity become capable of channeling deeper aspects of themselves, past and present, perhaps even superseding our own lifetimes. At one point, I described it to the girlfriend as being possessed by some of histories greatest lovers (fictional or not) with each intimate moment encapsulating a different story.

Sexually, there are no rules, or planning ahead, some sort of expectation after a dinner date. No, no, not at all. We embrace every single moment for what it is.

That aside, things may get quite extreme. From gentle moments, to primal desire, confessional sex, from worship, to degradation, spanking, candles, collars, public adventures :p, from pet-like behavior, to daddy->daughter-ish, to sibling, to even seemingly cult-like ceremonies. And naturally, so much more.

With all of this, some of it may excite or disgust some of you based your own personal experience, interpretation, or intrigue. Keep in mind, that there are healthy and unhealthy forms of this type of intimate behavior.
 

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Hmmm.... sexy sex sex. Love it. But I need to trust the person I'm with. Not commitment, necessarily, but I find I can only do "casual" if it's a FWB situation and I'm not worried or feeling insecure about whether the person cares about me or is using me... just mutual pleasure and a good time.

I'm fairly submissive, like light bondage/domination, being tied up, spanked, slapped. I like physical domination and very physical sex sometimes, but other times am content to let the fantasy be mental, with a lot of dirty talk. Control fantasies. Pleasing my partner really gets me off. I like dressing up in lingerie and heels. I've lightly dominated a partner before - it doesn't really get me off though other than that I get to please someone.

All of that's not a specific fetish though, or "have to have" in bed. I also really like vanilla sex, especially if it's really connected and loving. Dated this guy once who was really into psychedelics... we would have sex for hours and it was pretty tantric/connected/amazing.

Read an article in Psychology Today recently about how our sexual paraphilias are a way for us to reenact and gain control over childhood traumas.

Intelligence is the biggest turn on for me. If I get to know someone's mind, that's much sexier for me than what they look like. Although, I will say I'm attracted to slimmer guys.

Um, also... i dunno if I've just had rough luck, but American guys are not the greatest lovers. When I lived in Canada, I was much more impressed.

I believe in the importance of sexual empathy - the best sex I've had has been between two highly empathic people - when both people are totally in the zone, focused on the needs, responses, and sexual cues of their partner - then it comes together and it's like, WHOA. I dated an INFJ last year briefly, and even though we never got even remotely kinky, we were both highly empathic, and even after our first kiss we both pulled back, blinked, and said: "Whoa." That was cool. I regret that it didn't work out, but I think we were both freaked out at how quickly it became intense because we were always on the same wavelength.
 

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I tend to really enjoy the whole bdsm thing with a heavy emphasis on the bondage. I also like women with piercings and tattoos (even though I don't have any piercings or tattoos myself). I also tend to be a dominant when practicing bdsm.
Male, 23, primarily (if not completely) straight. I find piercings highly unattractive 99% of the time; tattoos can be pretty hot, scars are a pretty big turn-on most of the time. Not really into BDSM but it can be arousing. Neither dominant nor submissive (I've always been a bit of a role-filler regardless of the activity), but I find the tomboyish (or simply women with a streak of masculinity) more appealing. I like tougher, more in-shape women - I like to feel "rivaled" and "challenged" and "physically matched/surpassed" because I take pride in my myself and my body (and i'm not talking appearance!) only a select few types of submissive women appeal to me.

I like diversity, variety and adaptability, and if i'm to be dominant then i'd like to feel as if I earned it - with the knowledge (and very real possibility) of being overpowered and having it (temporarily!) ripped away should I fail to live up to that role).

This is just a theory, and does not apply to every single INFJ.

Because INFJ are so withdrawn and quiet in a regular setting. We might appear to be calm, collected, balanced, etc. to others.
When we finally are alone in a bedroom, that is when we finally can let go, be adventurous, risky and have fun without the need to be bothered about people around us.

Or...maybe there isn't much to it and we're simply just open-minded and kinky.
Yeah, that's a good theory. Bedroom is my "fortified safe zone."

Actually, I think i'd have to trust someone a lot before I felt comfortable with them simply hanging around my room. "This is my rainbow-kinky-sex-bunker, (which I sometimes use for sleep) gtfo!" xD

Read an article in Psychology Today recently about how our sexual paraphilias are a way for us to reenact and gain control over childhood traumas.
hahaha, I should probably read about that. I'm rather fucked up.
 
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If I had a catalog of sexual interests/preferences , this would be the room it'd be locked in.



No... scratch that... the conference table room is just the room people use to try to figure out how to get into the next room. Luckily my SO is good with puzzles.

Guess that's what makes the best partner for INFJs - a damn good locksmith. LOL
 

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Wow, I have found my flock apparently!

Backstory:

I'm 32, male, straight. I have always been in monogamous relationships, except for a period after I divorced from my ex-wife / cherry popper. I grew up with only three older sisters, no brothers, a catholic mom, and an army chopper pilot father (actually an INFJ). I lost my virginity at 17 to her and found out that I LOVED sex. I convinced myself that she was it, I guess so I wouldn't stop having sex. I was highly inexperienced after a 7 year commitment, 4 of which we were married. After we split, I actually didn't date anyone for about a year... It was crazy. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Then, I met a Russian yoga instructor who was about 5 years older than me and a super submissive type that really showed me what was up. She was married, and actually lived behind me in post housing, but her husband was abusive, and she was leaving him when he came back from a 3 month TDY (temp job more or less). She needed her visa. After about two months of us hooking up, I had experienced much, to say the least. Prior to her I favored girl on top. She opened my doors to allowing myself free reign and control. She liked to be humiliated in different ways, as well as being commanded without being prompted. Super hot all day sex and anything I wanted was mine. I was allowed to explore and experiment without judgement. As an example, I remember one time, she had this photo of her man on the nightstand table thing, and while behind her I grabbed her by the hair and put her face in it and made her keep her eyes open. I miss her, but even though the dude did beat her and was worthy of a beatdown, I still kinda feel bad for taking part in those encounters with her, cause we really turned each other out. But fuck him, he beat her, so I'd do it again, and better this time. lol

24-27

I had flings and one night stands that left me empty and jaded. The sex sucked and just felt slimy and weird because I didn't respect the women I was with. I couldn't open up, or connect so it sucked. But then I started hanging out with an introverted freak that was batshit insane crazy, but a freak. The sex was electrifying and she introduced me to light bondage and really rough sex. She liked to be smacked, dragged to the bathroom if I had to go, and pretty much anything I wanted. But again, she was actually crazy (like really) and I didn't click with her on I guess a spiritual level or something. She was too far out there for me. She seemed immature. We only got it on like 5 times, and every time I felt bad afterward because I didn't like her. I'd pretend to be asleep or something until about 15-30 minutes later when I wanted to get it on again. I felt so bad, and cut it off.

I attempted a fling with a hot professor around this time too, who liked to be a dom. That was weird. I felt like that robot from the old black and white show: "Danger...! Can not compute.. !". Found out then that I'm not prone to sub.

Then I fell in love with an extrovert that was pretty assertive, and a hardcore feminist... that again was a super submissive. She took me a step further with name calling. Dirty whore, daddy's little girl, and things like that. I'd say, that was and still kinda is the hardest for me to do, name calling in a direct taboo manner. It was hard as hell for me not to judge myself then. But now I can role-play without guilt if I practice. But, Two years later was a REAL bad breakup with her.

27-32 (one month ago)

I was with a red headed Mexican that looks Asian and I am clueless what her type is actually. A talented painter and hair stylist. If i had to put her on any type with my limited ability to type people right now, I'd have to say she was an INFP. Out of all women that I have ever met, she has captivated me the most. Stunningly attractive... like straight gorgeous. An actual natural red haired, light skinned Latina curvy but slender, about 5'2 large breasts, and a killer ass, with a light band of freckles across her cheeks, and the facial structure of a half elf, half Japanese woman.. Not the stock, off the shelf look. Real unique. %70 percent of the time I'd have to be really assertive and take it, and that's how she liked it. 20-25% of the time It would be a "wanna bang?" or just a natural thing of us taking our clothes off and be at it. Then %5-10 of the time it would be her initiating. For 5 years, I think we had sex just about every day at least once, usually probably averaging 3. But there would be times, maybe once every week or so, that I wouldn't have an appetite. It was at these times that she would get super aggressive, and make me feel bad for not reciprocating. I hated it. I'd withdraw deep into myself and feel like a powerless man. I still don't understand what the hell that was all about. She would make a note of it every time, even though most of the time we'd be having sex like 2-3 times a day. I found it very very very demoralizing. I took it really hard. Now I'm trying to bounce back from serious self doubt and low self esteem from it, because I feel like I bought a relationship for five years with dick.

So in summary as far as sexually:
I have to trust the women I have sex with
I have to like them
I'm not an effective flirt in the traditional sense, but if I get that tingly feeling that there is a kink spark in a chick, and she sees mine, I love the tension dance until there is wild animal sex. Best ever! I don't care what we're doing, just lets lick and make it weird!
I like to experiment, and wish to experiment more.
I prefer submissive women, a lot.
Red hair has always been a fetish and most of my sexual encounters have been red haired women.
BDSM I am down even though I am somewhat of a novice
It is a serious fascination to live out 90% of kink(dot)com's content
Bucket listing a 3 way with two women, but at least one would have to be a girl i trusted.
And oddly enough, I have never cheated on anyone, nor have I ever had a real inclination to. I think I might be incapable of it, like, literally incapable someway.


I could have actually put all of that into just saying that I am totally down for unhinged wild animal sex with a submissive woman who trusts me enough to have free reign, and it is crucial that I respect her.


But If I were to have one wish, it would be an unhesitant and immediate: bonded-loyal-connected-LOVE based on communication and respect.









..............with lots of kinky sweaty hot sex all the fuckin time





(I actually just typed all of the rest because I am into free flow writing lately as I am trying to figure my shit out a little more and it helps. I love these forums so much... thank you for being out there. I mean that.)

Edit #54: I actually have been noticing upon examining tons of youtube videos of INFJ's that they consistently have a very subtle, but intense sexuality that is exuded. I have yet to look at one that doesn't have that look in their eyes and the subtle facial expressions that say, "seriously, what the fuck is up. Lets hugfuck and make it weird") Anyone else notice this?
 

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^Whatever you do, stay away from Urban Dictionary :l

It's weird, 'cause I find myself to be more of a dominant type, yet I constantly fantasize about being handcuffed to a bedpost. I guess it's more of a 'going with the flow' kind of thing rather than a strict category. I'm also masochistic - I want my partner to bite and scratch and slap and just thinking about it makes me shudder :s

I love girls, loved them all my life but picked up on the fact when I started high school... I don't have much of a body type preference, but hips are a big yes for me. Something about digging my fingers into those curves while making love just appeals to me. And let's not forget breasts...

I can honestly say that a big requirement for me during sex is complete emotional and spiritual commitment. I want to make love to her, gentle love at first then slowly more passionate and wild as our feelings become more deeper, our souls more intertwined. I really am a hopeless romantic xD and very monogamous :s
 

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Prefer sub males for my experiences....or at the very least, must understand that I'm a top. The great thing has been that so far, the majority of the men who are into me and that have found myself interested in were natural beta males.

Alpha female + and alpha male = disaster. I prefer the balance...so again beta males are my overall type.
 

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I tend to be more sensual than aggressive. xD I like slowly working over the body, giving them the most pleasure possible.

I like the idea of bondage, but not like... serious bondage. More like just the person lightly not having control as the other pleases them. I'm not one for pain.

The biggest sexual turn on, for me, is shower sex! The shower either has to be big enough to fool around in, or one of those standing showers where you have to be pressed against their body the entire time.



I hope that's not revealing enough to result in a delete. :blushed:
 

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I don't think my sex drive is that high these days so I'm probably a demisexual?
One of my preferences is for sex outdoors, in nature setting.
Have tried many things and agree variety is good to keep it interesting.
WOuld never go to an orgy or group sex, or even want to have sex with more that one person at a time.
Oh and only with men.

boring ....but Ive never had any complaints either haha
 

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Can't remember if I've already answered here, but oh well.

I am mesmerized by eroticism which to me is a game of hiding and revealing, deeply psychological and empathetic, creative and without boundaries. I don't tend to be compartmentalized, but understand that a lot of people are, so my ideal would be to have at least a somewhat ongoing sexual interplay even if it is just knowing about getting into some new idea that weekend. I'm not beholden to any particular kinks, but tend to be quite open and non-judgmental and curious about them. My ideal is a completely multi-faceted sexuality that can go from being gentle and loving to intimidating bondage to anything. My body does tighten up with too much pain, so that can cease to feel like sex to me if taken too far too quickly, but I'll do almost anything for my partner to get them off. I think that is partly why I'm so selective about sexual partners, because once I'm connected, I'm all theirs.

Frida Kahlo is my idol in a lot of ways, and I love that she said, "The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform". She feels deep to me because of her creativity and the physical pain she has had to feel. I think sexuality can become more important to you when you have felt intense physical pain, which I have - although not as intense as many of my friends have had to face. To clarify, I mean I've had chronic pain pain, but that rarely stops me from wanting to have sex unless it comes with nausea.

This isn't exactly a preference, but I feel like my best sexual trait is my non-judgment in the moment because I'm really open to it and thrilled by all of it. I once read a quote "Sex is like pizza. When it's good it's really good, and when it's bad, it's still pretty good". That is totally my mindset.
 

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I have zero experience in this area because I haven't found the right partner, but I would probably be pretty wild if it made sense. Like many have said, the emotional connection and attraction would be absolutely essential as precursors. I imagine my first time would be more on the cute spectrum rather than kinky, but anything after that can vary. Bondage and "torture" doesn't really appeal to me because I don't want to associate pain with such an intimate activity. Also, I see sex as a liberation from any sort of physical restrictions in both the literal and symbolic sense. Role-playing is possible though it would probably be difficult for me to get into character. Location probably wouldn't matter as long as it is somewhere private. I don't know, but the "who" matters a much more than the "how" for me.
 
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