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I have an INFJ friend and I can't tell how he feels about me - friends or otherwise.

*Work colleagues
*Sat next to each other at work for the last 9 months until he moved to a different spot by himself about 8 desks away without explanation. (I did ask him and he was cagey about it, maybe I was too chatty. I'm very animated.).
*But we did talk to each other a lot during the day when he was next to me. Admittedly I am a talker, although I try to be sensitive to other peoples workloads.
*Banter and conversation, live, and on work email, texting apps at work on our comps about non-work stuff. initiated by both of us, not excessive and I try not to talk to him as much as I want to, because i'm super extroverted and talkative.
*He is quite and reserved sometimes, and other times very quick witted. He compliments me unexpectedly in front of others, my shoes, my pants! He said he thought I looked wonderful in a team skype meeting, I get embarrassed and don't know what to say, because I like him. I sometimes wonder if he is playing with me, because my face is an open book and I have trouble hiding how I feel, and I am surprised at how openly complimentary he is. It seems like if he liked me he wouldn't wear it on his sleeve so much.He also told me in an email that I was honest and real and to keep being myself and it was one of the most flattering things anyone has ever said to me. but there isn't anything mushier than that.
*things that make me hesitate. After 4-5 minutes of texting he will say "well I'd better get back to work" which makes me feel a bit like I am bothering him, but I am not always the one to initiate the conversation. It's about 50/50.
*He drives me home if I have stuff to cart home - he offers - he has a truck. But he is kind like this to a lot of people, but maybe more so to me.
*We seem to end up on lunch walks together frequently (just the two of us, and eating lunch together out), but I sometimes don't know how it happens. I'm mostly too shy to ask him outright if he wants to go get lunch, but I will get up and go and then he is right behind me. Same with leaving at the end of the day.
*but he doesn't share with me as much as I want. i try not to push, but I want to know more. I can't get the conversations to go as deep as I would like. He just went on three weeks leave and he wouldn't say what he is doing (although it may be just dealing with his situation which is...he separated from his wife about 2 months ago and I only know because my boss told me. I know it has been hard on him, and he probably doesn't have mental space for me but I'm kid of fixated on does he or doesn't he, and I just want to know so that I can give my fantasy world a break and live a bit more in the real world if I'm imagining things. I want to just ask him straight out "am I imagining things?" but I don't know what the repercussions of that would be and we have a good friendship. I just don't like unknowns! Drives me nuts. Even if you all said yes he likes you, i'm not planning on pursuing anything now, because he needs space to work out his marriage etc, but I just want peace.
 

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I'm an ENFP too. I think you just need to chill a bit.

The number 1 rule with introverts is that you don't push past their boundaries, and that when you notice that you do you make sure to pull back for a sec to compensate. If you just keep pushing and pushing, they'll be nice in response especially if they like you as a person, but in the back of their mind they're going to be thinking "if I get to know this person more deeply, are they going to just be even more like this? what if I need space in the future?".

You have to show a level of social intelligence and awareness without needing to be prompted so much. I know you keep saying "I don't want to be pushy" and that shows you're aware of what you should be trying to avoid, but your post kinda feels like you're being a bit impatient.
 

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The separation from his wife is the absolute wildcard in your situation. There’s no way to know how this affects his thoughts and actions, but I assume it’s a very big deal.

That said, he’s behaving like he’s attracted to you. I’ve been with my ENFP wife since 1988, and she still draws my attention. Yeah, I need my regular introvert space and can be dismissive at times, but she’s the center of my universe.

Your power as an ENFP is when you’re together in person. Electronic banter is small talk, and I know I hate small talk. Texting is a recent phenomena (didn’t exist in the 80s and 90s) in our relationship and, even with my wife, is a burden and a distraction. I see it as a way to quickly exchange essential information. I think if you tune into his need for space to get his work done, and just be yourself, you’ll be able to see if he’s signaling you. Remember, it’s the face time that really counts.

Also, if it turns out his head isn’t screwed on right during this separation, don’t hang in there too long and let him bring you down.

Good luck either way.
 

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I just noticed the little Australian flag 🇦🇺 in your profile. Wow, an Australian ENFP girl! Could one be more charismatic??? 😀

I suppose if you’re in Australia, he’s Australian too, so you two don’t even notice. Silly American jibber jabber here...

Best of luck to you.
 
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