i personally think the world is a very chaotic place
and i really admire and want to model the qualities of people that are very specific, refined at once intense emotionally in terms of what they project out to this world but at once very intuitive and not easily have their mind disrupted by the chaos out there?
for example, the element of mine that i struggle mostly with is ZERO flexibility in terms of methodical approach towards things and this is my weakest point. i am terrible with variables, and as much as i want to be i am not fluid at all. i think it has something to do with lack of processing power/capacity in my brain
for example when i need to do things i have to make absolutely sure that i insure that there is no variables / obstacles involved to achieve a certain mission - so i check the canvas first, the foundation first
when i try to harvest ideas after them being gathered from contacting different things in the outside world
i become very rigid..
so i need to get rid of everything in my room, just keep the things to an extreme minimum to minimise obstacles
and need to be hyper-organised to be mentally free.. otherwise i am terrible at keeping my mentality, mental picture consistent, refined or pure enough.. and when i get the result this way i get the best result but it really exhausts me
and when i see people who can very easily automatically manage things.. or even manage to get a very abstract, refined, at once specific and intense ideas intuitively in the midst of chaos.. people who can almost automatically mask out the NOISES and not neccessarily have that obstruct their mental processes.. i was wondering whether that is the difference between INFP vs INFJ?
because J means judging and P seems like letting go for me
and i think my problem is that because i am more judgemental with feelings so my mental process collapses much more easily?
INFP has the same sort of introvert depth and reflection, feelings, intuition but are less susceptible to the conflicts with the outside world? they let go more? so it is somehow easier for them to maintain focus and still bringout something that is very personal, inspired, mental... and so on?
and since i am J my mental processes is very vulnerable unless i find a physical solution to manage my emotions? otherwise the whole thing (believe me no matter how hard or well somethings have been building up and others have been agreeing with that my mental process collapses very easily against my will or trying or discipline you see)
this inability to parallelise both multi-tasking and focusing and resource management!
the fragility of mental process, mental-resource-management.
is it something to do with INFJ mechanism? or just the trick of my brain that really annoys me?
i really want to be specific
and i have a goal in life that i am dying to achieve
it's been going well so far but military conscription shattered me from the roots and now that i am about to harvest my hard efforts, they are at the risk of damage.. and i am paranoid with that.. so i guess i am leaving to canada .. but it really sucks. having to leave to a brand new country when i was about to get a further grip on something.. go up a ladder of what i've been passionate about over nearly a decade..
and i don't want to be organised but if i don't i lose focus very easily
and even writing this is very difficult for me
my problem is that i know what i want, i can definately tell how to tell if it works or not, and how each bits should work.. but when bringing them together, when gluing them together, unless i completly block other resources and completely focus on that and suffer and keep doing it, they collapse and i have to start from ground zero somehow.. and this annoys me a lot!
so i was wondering.. how i could model or train or discipline myself or have a way to stay true to myself equally fierecely but put my INFJ ness to more of a natural use? it's almost as if i have an INFP goal with the eye and value of an INFJ and it is too much to handle you see.. or maybe if i wanted depth more.. maybe it is the question of pacing..
my biggest problem is that even when there is a tiniest bit of noise in my consciousness or emotion my entire mental process starts to degrade and deteriate and i lose focus, clarity, pace, calmness, process and so on and either become completely depressed suicidal or resisting it completely by becoming crazy angry explosive
i think INFPs have faster pace or stabler pace
but INFJ pace requires more stable-ness somehow?
what's your opinion on this?
and i really admire and want to model the qualities of people that are very specific, refined at once intense emotionally in terms of what they project out to this world but at once very intuitive and not easily have their mind disrupted by the chaos out there?
for example, the element of mine that i struggle mostly with is ZERO flexibility in terms of methodical approach towards things and this is my weakest point. i am terrible with variables, and as much as i want to be i am not fluid at all. i think it has something to do with lack of processing power/capacity in my brain
for example when i need to do things i have to make absolutely sure that i insure that there is no variables / obstacles involved to achieve a certain mission - so i check the canvas first, the foundation first
when i try to harvest ideas after them being gathered from contacting different things in the outside world
i become very rigid..
so i need to get rid of everything in my room, just keep the things to an extreme minimum to minimise obstacles
and need to be hyper-organised to be mentally free.. otherwise i am terrible at keeping my mentality, mental picture consistent, refined or pure enough.. and when i get the result this way i get the best result but it really exhausts me
and when i see people who can very easily automatically manage things.. or even manage to get a very abstract, refined, at once specific and intense ideas intuitively in the midst of chaos.. people who can almost automatically mask out the NOISES and not neccessarily have that obstruct their mental processes.. i was wondering whether that is the difference between INFP vs INFJ?
because J means judging and P seems like letting go for me
and i think my problem is that because i am more judgemental with feelings so my mental process collapses much more easily?
INFP has the same sort of introvert depth and reflection, feelings, intuition but are less susceptible to the conflicts with the outside world? they let go more? so it is somehow easier for them to maintain focus and still bringout something that is very personal, inspired, mental... and so on?
and since i am J my mental processes is very vulnerable unless i find a physical solution to manage my emotions? otherwise the whole thing (believe me no matter how hard or well somethings have been building up and others have been agreeing with that my mental process collapses very easily against my will or trying or discipline you see)
this inability to parallelise both multi-tasking and focusing and resource management!
the fragility of mental process, mental-resource-management.
is it something to do with INFJ mechanism? or just the trick of my brain that really annoys me?
i really want to be specific
and i have a goal in life that i am dying to achieve
it's been going well so far but military conscription shattered me from the roots and now that i am about to harvest my hard efforts, they are at the risk of damage.. and i am paranoid with that.. so i guess i am leaving to canada .. but it really sucks. having to leave to a brand new country when i was about to get a further grip on something.. go up a ladder of what i've been passionate about over nearly a decade..
and i don't want to be organised but if i don't i lose focus very easily
and even writing this is very difficult for me
my problem is that i know what i want, i can definately tell how to tell if it works or not, and how each bits should work.. but when bringing them together, when gluing them together, unless i completly block other resources and completely focus on that and suffer and keep doing it, they collapse and i have to start from ground zero somehow.. and this annoys me a lot!
so i was wondering.. how i could model or train or discipline myself or have a way to stay true to myself equally fierecely but put my INFJ ness to more of a natural use? it's almost as if i have an INFP goal with the eye and value of an INFJ and it is too much to handle you see.. or maybe if i wanted depth more.. maybe it is the question of pacing..
my biggest problem is that even when there is a tiniest bit of noise in my consciousness or emotion my entire mental process starts to degrade and deteriate and i lose focus, clarity, pace, calmness, process and so on and either become completely depressed suicidal or resisting it completely by becoming crazy angry explosive
i think INFPs have faster pace or stabler pace
but INFJ pace requires more stable-ness somehow?
what's your opinion on this?