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I was talking to my other friend who is an INFJ...

does anyone ever find that they get in peoples heads romantically from time to time..

I am not sure what it is... I mean we are both attractive people, but certain people see us differently and I don't really know what they are looking at sometimes...

maybe it is our fresh ideas about life or i dunno... but I tend to have difficulty breaking relationships... I know how much the other cares about me... I know it won't work.
but people will tell me that I get into their head or that my kisses are addictive...

maybe they are trying to compliment me but it doesn't feel like it...

I am trying to let go of the bird so it can fly and they fly back. !

I don't want to come off as the crazy pidgeon lady in relationships but sometimes I think that is how it is...

anyone else know any good (not mean) ways to get out of someones head?
 

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I wish I knew how to get an INFJ out of my head once I let him in, but sometimes it feels like an INFJ is penetrating my psyche by understanding me so well. It is almost sexual to be that vulnerable when the INFJ is a male. It's easy for the feelings to cross over, and for the non-physical probing to seem erotic to the person who is experiencing it. Once I have let an INFJ in, where he can see me fully exposed, it creates a bond very similar to the kind that occurs during actual sex. Psychological intimacy is addictive because it is what so many of us secretly want. In fact INFJs are good at knowing what I need in order to deal with me in ways that I wish others could. I begin to see the person as ideal, using him as a medicine for my pain and disconnection. I guess the best advice would be to treat the situation like this:
Transference is Not Transferable | Therapy Unplugged
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Hey. also snail... if you could read my post in the ENTP section.

ENTP What is going on? I think it is called...

could this happen with people who have different orientations do you think?
like could I be "having mental sex" with a person and maybe that is what i am perceiving a desire out of?
 

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I think the best way to handle it would depend on the person that is stuck on you. When people have had crushes on me that I couldn't reciprocate I broke all contact even when I knew it was really painful to them. I knew, in the end, it would be the best thing to help them get over me. If it was a person that was very special and I still wanted to be friends I might come back much later (6mo or a yr) and see if we could be friends.

For me, what gets me about INFJs is my intuitive sense of the depth of emotion that exists within them. I find that very alluring.
 

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Wow.

This thread made me think for a long time about whether I have these sorts of connections with people. I think I do.

There are only a handful of people in this world that I have a bond like this with. I call it love, although that may bring up ideas that I am not trying to imply. It is a friendship-love. I do not want to have a romantic relationship with them, but I suppose the connection is similar.

I offer them acceptance and trust, a safe haven. The stuff that Snail said about using the person as a medicine for pain and disconnection struck a chord, but I never ever feel used by them. I never let them mistreat me. In fact, I am happy to argue with them and lose contact with them for a while, but I’ll still understand, accept and forgive them. That's part of the bond.

I don’t know if I get into their heads... but this thread makes me think I do.
 

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It is almost sexual to be that vulnerable when the INFJ is a male. It's easy for the feelings to cross over, and for the non-physical probing to seem erotic to the person who is experiencing it. Once I have let an INFJ in, where he can see me fully exposed, it creates a bond very similar to the kind that occurs during actual sex. Psychological intimacy is addictive because it is what so many of us secretly want.
hmmmm... thanx Snail, this explains much.
 

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:shocked: ... now that I think about almost every girl I try to "help" starts liking me...
but by that point I know there emotionally damaged... :crying:
Things make so much more sense now :mellow:
 

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By the way I like the title lol :tongue:
 

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thanks

What are people thinking about. I heard like a thousand epiphanies through your writing...
Yeah me too. Good Post then. I have had a friend tell me we were having mental sex. I didn't understand what he meant. He was an INFP too.

All I know is I don't ever try to get in anyones head and I wouldn't even know how to begin if I consciously tried. And yet I know I get there.
 
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Some girl the other day said I can be flirty. I'm definitely not... I wouldn't know how to be for a start. I didn't understand what she meant by it. Lately she's been talking to me more about stuff about her, maybe this explains it :s.

People do often assume that the friends I have are more than just friends, too -- anyone else find this?
 

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I wish I knew how to get an INFJ out of my head once I let him in, but sometimes it feels like an INFJ is penetrating my psyche by understanding me so well. It is almost sexual to be that vulnerable when the INFJ is a male. It's easy for the feelings to cross over, and for the non-physical probing to seem erotic to the person who is experiencing it. Once I have let an INFJ in, where he can see me fully exposed, it creates a bond very similar to the kind that occurs during actual sex. Psychological intimacy is addictive because it is what so many of us secretly want. In fact INFJs are good at knowing what I need in order to deal with me in ways that I wish others could. I begin to see the person as ideal, using him as a medicine for my pain and disconnection.
Oohh it's like you just read my mind. :blushed: Haha. I know exactly what you mean. Thanks for posting.
 

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"INFJ... we're in your head. he he."


....YEA you are
 

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So would mental sex basically be reading certain people through an intutive connection? I can't read my fiance and he can't read me, but the fact that we both can't read each other is what makes us able to read each other merely through eye contact. I already know what he wants to say and he knows what I want to say and before I know it, there's like a whole intuitive mental conversation going on in a split second, completely without words. Now logically what I just said doesn't make any sense, but that's basically what it's like. My friend makes fun of us and tells me that we "communicate telepathically" lol. I guess I kinda get what she means now. I defintely agree with snail, psychological intimacy is addictive.
 

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I found out that when you tend to act strangely, people become more interested in you because their hunger for knowledge, they always want to know why in any subject. The problem to the INFJs is that they have that unique overdeveloped way of thinking, which most of the time it's a maze even for them, so the others would get their impressions on them in a mixed manner, so it takes them time to figure these things out. The real problem is that they can't solve it and the INFJs get stucked in their head.

I find it a good thing. Most of the people are secretly thinking about me, but they find the actual interaction with me is quite hard, so they would just limit themselves to observe me like hunting for the perfect moment when they would 'jump' at me saying or doing something just to observe them. But they get completely lost if I try to interact with them when they are 'unprepared', and this happened even with those with very powerful extroverted function. Usually I smile at them, because I find it funny why this happens, feels more like an unconscious trigger.

INFJ is a real challenge for the capacity of understanding.

As for INFJ vs INFJ, I think that the reminescence of the other one is even more powerful, although I am not so sure of that because I haven't met another 'real' INFJ yet.
 

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lol you guys are so naive about your good points. you don't even realise why ppl are drawn to you?
everyone wants someone who is accepting of their "inner self" just the way it is, and when INFJs give off that feeling like they can see everything about you, and yet they still appreciate you- that is powerful.. plus you guys are SO genuine that you don't even understand the concept of being fake or of having a big ego.. and you guys seem so comfortable with yourself (even if you aren't fully) that it gives off a great sense of inner security.
and from an ENFP standpoint, you guys are affirming which is great, and you're impossible to read- even though i can sense a depth of emotions and thoughts underneath.. its FASCINATING..

you're the only ones who can see into the depth of empathy i have for ppl underneath my outer "personna". even INFPs can't always see that.
 
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