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I am constantly reading about how INFJ's need their independence and alone time. I do agree with this to an extent, but not completely. When I find someone I have strong feelings for I don't really need a break from them at all. This one girl and I would pretty much stay in contact from waking up - sleep. It didn't bother me at all. Obviously that's probably a bit extreme for most and not healthy but I find I can give people as much time as they need without feeling drained. I can be independent from them or be depended on all the time.

Certainly people drain me if I'm at a party or something, but 1 on 1 (especially if it's someone I'm close to) I don't get drained at all. Just seems to be at odds with how INFJ's tend to be and was wondering how many others felt the same.
 

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Yes. I have met two guys who don't drain me. One is just a stranger I often see, and the other is a past roommate.
I don't know why I feel fine around them, but the roommate is maybe HSP and ISTP. The other is quiet.
 

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I am constantly reading about how INFJ's need their independence and alone time. I do agree with this to an extent, but not completely. When I find someone I have strong feelings for I don't really need a break from them at all.
I am the same way. With one friend in particular, we just cruise so well together that it is like being in a time warp, like it was only 15 minutes instead of 4 hours. I find it is the NF's, and some of the NT's that I can cruise like that with.
 

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When I was with the INTP we were always together and it didn't matter. Not sure why cause most people drain me. So yeah I guess I have exceptions, and seems like most of us that have posted so far do also.
 

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Nope, my alone time is exactly as it is "alone time". No ifs or buts. Even with people I get along, it's something that my body needs.
 
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I tend to misundertand when I need that alone time...

if I get alone however I tend to just become this emotional wreck.
I NEED to get alone though because I hate crying in front of people, and I start slipping into alone time mode while I am being social, and I just zone and ignore things,

any small little action I amplify through my reception of it.
and everything hurts me... pretty much.
I can't handle the world, but I still feel obligated to be and do all the things I have to...
which sucks but it is really the only way out.
the only way to truly be alone and with people at the same time. (long run of things)
I have to be responsible and that basically means not getting the alone time I need, t fufill obligations other people think our necessary for me to be happy.
getting to school classes and workout times.
when literally I could just cry for three days right now... but I can't...

I hate being here and just wanting to cry by myself, because I never get to. there is always someone home or something and no one lets me be, I hate my parents seeing me like this and I don't know why I am crying, I just am...

anyone else seek their alone time so they can express their emotions in peace?
well...it's not really all that peacful of crying but just so they can deal with all the pain in one quiet corner...
 

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anyone else seek their alone time so they can express their emotions in peace?
well...it's not really all that peacful of crying but just so they can deal with all the pain in one quiet corner...
Yea totally. What I experience a lot now that I moved back home
It's not enough I have my own room, I need more space.. I like to have room both indoors and outdoors.
Nope, my alone time is exactly as it is "alone time". No ifs or buts. Even with people I get along, it's something that my body needs.
There's nothing better than being completely alone.. Eventually I will also need to get away from the ones I like being with. I think I might have grown into this more over the years. I remember when I was a kid, I always preferred to do things with one or two friends over on my own.
 

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I was about to make a long post but my browser crashed in the middle of it. :/
Anyway I'll try to recover the rest of it when I can.

I find that I need a balance of alone time and connecting time. (I'm a close call when it comes to I and E so that's part of where I'm coming from.)
Too much alone time and I can get restless and sometimes feel empty.

My life revolves around people and connecting to them makes me feel alive and rich on the inside. I cherish deep connections and find it fun to get to know someone I'm especially drawn to. I don't mind groups either, people can energize me and I love hearing how they see the world and finding out what motivates them and how they relate to others. I just find it all fascinating. I feel that when I'm at my best I have a strong connection to others and the world around me and I'm involved and living in that world.

But I like to go inward too. I get many great ideas and insights through my interactions with others and I need some time alone to truely sort those out and soak them up and just get the most from them. But if I spend too much time alone, my ideas run dry or feel circular and I feel dull.

I'm also HSP and it's often the noise and certain kinds of chaos that overwhelm me, not the human energy if that makes any sense. Often times I'll want to continue a social even or a conversation but I find that the noise and commotion makes it difficult so I'm conflicted here. Withdrawing for a little bit refreshes me and I find that I'm able to go back to the scene after I've had a little alone time.

I also identify with being shy and self conscious more than I do with introverted. A few years ago I learned that they were not mutually exclusive and so that got me thinking. There were times where I really wanted to be involved and connect with people around me but I withheld because I felt self conscious. I'm not quite sure what to make of that or if I'm really an ENFJ, but as I said, it's something to think about. E and I are preferences and where we get our energy from and I believe that shyness and self consciousness can affect both introverts and extraverts so it's possible.

(I hate to drift off topic, but does my description resonate with other INFJs or is it more characteristic of ENFJ?)
 

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A lot of people don't drain me. The two girls I live with for example, and some other friends too.
1 and 1 I usually don't get drained, but I do have some exceptions here, haha..

(I get drained in larger groups, because I than, naturally, take in many different emotions at one time)
 

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As much as I feel that I don't need alone time, I do need it. I usually have to force myself to have alone time and funny thing is, when I am with others, I feel that I want to go home and be alone yet when I'm at home, I can't stand long periods of time by myself.

Even if I'm not very social and I'm shy, being outside of the home amongst friends, boyfriends re energizes me. Perhaps it's because I spent the last 3 years of my fresh youthful days at home when a majority of my friends were getting into the clubbing/drinking/partying scene and also because it seems to be an INFJ thing, never in the present moment, always thinking ahead.

There's only one person I can be around all the time, which is the boyfriend.

But yeah, I use my alone time to remind myself that I have to have balance in my life and not depend on others and that I need this time as 'me' time, whether I feel I need it or not.
 

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I can put up with just about anyone for a given amount of time. There are some people with caustic, rough, or negative personalities that just doesn't hang well with me. Luckily enough, a lot of my close friends have the same sensibility as I do, so they can see through the bullshit just as easily as I can. Then, it's just a simple act of avoiding the chief offender for the rest of the time. If I'm alone, I fake interest and purposely go into aloofness, which is strikingly easy to do, hahaha.

As for alone time, I don't really feel like I need it, but that doesn't mean I don't take it. I usually wander off on my own if I find something boring or uninteresting. Otherwise, I end up staying around for quite a long time. Of course then, it's a battle between my desire to get some rest (SLEEP) and the desire to be sociable.
 

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(I hate to drift off topic, but does my description resonate with other INFJs or is it more characteristic of ENFJ?)


I'm not sure but maybe connecting to other people is an aspect of your personality that has nothing to do with being an "I" or an "E". I've read other INFJ's who like to interact with others as you described.

----------------

I don't mind being around others even if I'm quiet but I really need my alone time when I'm upset (angry or sad ) and if my mood persists I become even more withdrawn.
 

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I'm not sure but maybe connecting to other people is an aspect of your personality that has nothing to do with being an "I" or an "E". I've read other INFJ's who like to interact with others as you described.

----------------

I don't mind being around others even if I'm quiet but I really need my alone time when I'm upset (angry or sad ) and if my mood persists I become even more withdrawn.
yeah...

introverts still talk to people.
lol.

I am always envious of ENFJ's... they always seem to have the ENTIRE situation under control.
damn you dominant Fe.

It's like they are not really the center of the party, but they sure as hell know the direction it is going in and can relay it.

for me at least having one in the group makes me feel more comfortable participating in group activities. I really usually just enjoy one on one time with others.

hope this helps silver-lined.
I like groups, but it definitely has to be the right dynamic... or else I get either bored, restless, wanting to go off on my own in a corner where no one can see me.

maybe there is like a geometric pattern to people and connections.
sometimes I think the balance is off or whatever and situations are not really right anymore.
lol
 

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yeah...

introverts still talk to people.
lol.

I am always envious of ENFJ's... they always seem to have the ENTIRE situation under control.
damn you dominant Fe.

It's like they are not really the center of the party, but they sure as hell know the direction it is going in and can relay it.

for me at least having one in the group makes me feel more comfortable participating in group activities. I really usually just enjoy one on one time with others.

hope this helps silver-lined.
I like groups, but it definitely has to be the right dynamic... or else I get either bored, restless, wanting to go off on my own in a corner where no one can see me.

maybe there is like a geometric pattern to people and connections.
sometimes I think the balance is off or whatever and situations are not really right anymore.
lol
I've noticed from my INFJ friends that they can deal with small groups, for long periods of time, if and only if it's somewhere they feel safe (apartment, their house). Out in public, they get irritable and want to leave after an hour or two, and this even goes for the magnificent actor INFJ friend I have. He can do an entire play, knock it out of the park, want to go out to eat afterwards, but then skip home as soon as he's finished his meal because he's so tired and drained he doesn't want to keep hearing his friends compliment him on a job well done.

I also understand the gf/bf thing; I had an INFJ gf for 6 years off and on, and well...let's just say she'd only not go crazy around me as far as spending hours of time with someone...her roomate, no matter how cool, even annoyed her after a while on a few occasions if it was an all-day thing of not leaving.


As far as ENFJ's having things under control...we only appear that way, inside our Fi is combatting our Ti and it's all like "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! THIS IS GOING TO FAIL!" Least...that's how it goes with me sometimes. I look on the outside like i have control, but when it comes to my internal conflict, I always wonder if I'm making the "right" choice to get the most good out of the situation for all parties.


Anyway...keep on keepin on INFJ's, you are sometimes the more rational of the two of us.
 
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I've noticed from my INFJ friends that they can deal with small groups, for long periods of time, if and only if it's somewhere they feel safe (apartment, their house). Out in public, they get irritable and want to leave after an hour or two, and this even goes for the magnificent actor INFJ friend I have. He can do an entire play, knock it out of the park, want to go out to eat afterwards, but then skip home as soon as he's finished his meal because he's so tired and drained he doesn't want to keep hearing his friends compliment him on a job well done.

I also understand the gf/bf thing; I had an INFJ gf for 6 years off and on, and well...let's just say she'd only not go crazy around me as far as spending hours of time with someone...her roomate, no matter how cool, even annoyed her after a while on a few occasions if it was an all-day thing of not leaving.


As far as ENFJ's having things under control...we only appear that way, inside our Fi is combatting our Ti and it's all like "YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! THIS IS GOING TO FAIL!" Least...that's how it goes with me sometimes. I look on the outside like i have control, but when it comes to my internal conflict, I always wonder if I'm making the "right" choice to get the most good out of the situation for all parties.


Anyway...keep on keepin on INFJ's, you are sometimes the more rational of the two of us.

:happy:

I always find that I am better with long term decision aiding with my ENFJ friends.
I like helping them because they are more fun to help than my other friends.

they seriously want to have a better future for themselves and actually take my advice, and it is easy to listen to them for longer periods of time because when they vent to me, it actually is FUN to listen to.

rather than say my ISFP friend venting.
ugh... shoot me.

seriously though ENFJ venting is like getting a free show, and I didn't have to pay.
probably one of the only relationships that semi-energizes me.

about what you said about your friend.
I actually enjoy being out in a group of people, because I can ditch my friends and meet new people. sometimes I need to do that to feel better/more alive inside.
it's like... knowing there is the possibility of finding someone, plus I like dancing a lot.
I like drunk nights, until it gets crazy then I am ready to leave...
or if one wrong thing happens I NEED to get out.
so I am fine going out...

your friend probably is too, but maybe let him have an escape plan.
always take two cars with an INFJ. lol
 
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