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INFJ 3w2 Sx/So
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(this question isn't limited to the types listed above. If anyone has helpful advice, I'd be grateful for it)

Lately, my Fe has become quite a pain. Well, it's always been a pain, but I've just taken more notice of it lately. My boyfriend is an ENFP, and one of the wonderful things about our relationship is the ability to challenge each other. He's noticed that I'm... "extra" (too) conscientious of others.

I never feel at ease around other people. It's this incessant, nagging sense that it's somehow my responsibility to make sure that everyone within my general proximity is completely comfortable and happy... even if they're total strangers. It's gotten to the point where the only person I want to be around anymore is my boyfriend, and I know that isn't right.

My Fe is way, way too sensitive. Everyone's feelings are automatically taken on as my own, and I can't even think of a way to stop it without shutting down and forcing myself into unhealthy INTJ mode. I understand that Fe is a gift, and that it being paired with Ni is what makes INFJs so great at connecting with others and dealing with emotional/psychological problems, but it seems to have gone too far for me.

So, do any fellow Extroverted Feelers out there have any advice? I want to bring it to a healthy place without numbing it entirely.
 
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I can relate to you, but only a little. Of course I want everyone in my vicinity to be happy - I shudder if I hear an unkind word or notice that someone is being socially awkward - but I have an easier time accepting that I can't change the situation entirely and make everyone comfortable. It's just not within my power.

It's hard to offer advice. The only thing I could say is to "stop doing it," and "not worry about things that are beyond your control," but I also understand that these things are easier said than done.
 
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Try concentrating on your introverted functions. I can't say I have that exact feeling persay but when I feel my extroverted functions running away with me, I make an effort to focus on an introverted part of myself -- Ti is probably the perfect function to balance out the pair, and as an INFJ you have better access than I do :))
And remember the prayer/saying (it's become cliched but it's still pretty good at grounding one imo): God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
 
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I have the same issue as you and it tends to get me into trouble! I often find myself stewing over something mean that I heard one stranger say to another stranger without it affecting me at all. Sometimes when I speak up and say something I get a "Why do you care?" response and all I can think is "why DON'T you care?" Same with watching TV, especially reality shows - they hit me right in the feels. I've been a crying mess over things that really shouldn't affect me.
 
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