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Hi, I've been looking at the MBTI stuff recently and it's interesting to say the least. I took one of the tests the other day and 'self-diagnosed' myself as an INFJ. I asked my family too and they agreed that the descriptions were scarily accurate. Plenty of light bulb moments from my sister and parents...

I started reading some career ideas and think that now I understand why the last couple of years haven't been too easy sailing. At any rate I looked at the other descriptions to see if I could identify who I worked with.

Guessed right for my colleague (he is an INTJ [Scientist]) and for my immediate boss - well, I'm guessing that she is an ENTJ and my colleague agrees. We haven't dared ask her yet.

I was wondering if INFJ types had any experiences of dealing with ENTJ's. My strategy so far has just been to block her out as much as I can but I'll read around a bit on this forum for this point and some others I'm interested in. It's not that I dislike her but I find her somewhat demanding and feel I get on better with my other colleague.

Anyway, will be looking at career posts on this forum in a few minutes... I've been working in IT as a software engineer for a few years (originally did archaeology and various other things) and have never been really that settled or sure that this was what made me tick. Dunno - weird sense of not really belonging in that field.

Well - off to read a bit but if anyone has any info on typical interaction between INFJ's and (suspected) ENTJ's I'd be grateful.
Thanks,
Ed
 

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I usually get along with ENTJ's, I respect them for their many admirable qualities and all. However, I find myself often misunderstood by them when expressing my ideas. Since I'm a dominant Ni user, it takes me a lot of effort to convey my meaning in a way that ENTJ's will understand since their way of understanding things is to be direct and logical to them. So whenever I express something, almost always I have to repeat myself because they're either not getting the message or they think I'm talking to them in Chinese.
 
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Thanks, I guess that might be the issue. I'm technical staff as is my INTJ colleague so I guess we speak the same language - my immediate boss is not technical at all. So I guess the combination of quite different character types along with very different work areas has led to me feeling like we miss somehow.
Guess I'll have to try harder at putting it into language and delivery that she'll understand.
 

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I'm doing fine with most ENTJs, providing they have past their 'A God Am I' phase. Otherwise I'm running away. FAST. And the interests have to be clicking; it's best to keep it professional / work-related if you don't have anything to click with.

The ENTJs in my life are pretty much admirable. They know what they want, and how to get it with least resistance; things that you wouldn't see on other types (SJs, for instance, would just DRAG others down or back out entirely). So far I'm building a close platonic relationship with an ENTJ; I find her a mentor and motivator, and a very worthy companion.

Seeing your problem... As a boss, she'd be a good example to follow, and generally would be a good leader. She wouldn't unnecessarily push you through, depending on her level of maturity a.k.a humility and subtlety, things that would greatly affect her 'A God Am I' phase from outsider's PoV. And for the lack of knowledge..I'd say it's necessary to explain it in simpler terms, just for the sake of simplicity, but don't really be afraid to use the -correct- term.

Beware, tho; they, and I quote; "may trample on our feelings without realizing it." And in professional situation, they're more of a perfectionist than us.
 

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I tend to have great trouble getting along with people with dominant Te (ETJs), major personality conflict. Te-Doms seem to have a relently drive for impersonal efficiency and padding the bottom line above all else, which drives me CRAZY because I put the needs of people first.
 

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I have a little inkling that my one roommate might be an ENTJ, but I'm not quite sure. I dated an ESTJ before and they both structure and act in their environments about the same way. MY roommate can get quite a crazy side to her though, which can be pretty entertaining. I wasn't sure if she was Ni or Ne user for a while because of this... but then recently I've figured Ni because of the way she'd explain to me how she'd figure out future events.... it just sounded very Ni to me rather than a bunch of different possibilities.

She can get in her moods and get a bit rigid and "tell you like it is" at times. She's been amazed on how I've managed to keep patience with some people.... and, in a way, I think she's pushed me to "stick to my guns" a bit.

We haven't gotten very close, but we get along well living together -- both give each other our independence and hang out once a week or so. It seems to work for me, as its a bit less overwhelming than when I'm living with an ESFJ (dominate Fe type) who is always in need to be dependent of someone and always wants "get togethers" and "parties".

That being said, I've gotten very close with dominate Fe types so I've gotten the full experience. I have not gotten very close with an ENTJ (I don't think). My ENTJ roommate has told me a lot of things that she says she hasn't really told anyone... which I find interesting because we're really not that horribly close. But yet, I'm still reluctant to disclose information about my past issues and to expose my emotions on matters. I've vaguely told her about them, but not completely -- I guess its because I have that "vibe" that she's not a very sensitive person so I'm naturally hesitant on what to expect so I want to "protect my emotions" so to speak... even though she may perhaps end up accepting of them if I did tell her.
 

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I have an ENTJ friend and our friendship in the beginning (as young adults) was unpleasant. Everything he did annoyed me. Over the years as he's grown older and matured a bit, it's been easier to deal with him and we have reached an understanding of each other.

He puts up with a lot of my crap, and I put up with a lot of his... though I will draw the line at certain things.

I would say, the ENTJ has a tendency to see our questions of 'why?' as being combative. He always thought when I asked 'why' it was because I didn't 1) respect him, 2) believe him, 3) wanted to be argumentative... when that was never the case. I simply was curious as to why he believed/advised that as opposed to something else.

That's something I've definitely noticed. Also, the ENTJ sometimes has a tendency to take their anger or frustration out on you. At least this particular ENTJ did. I don't know about all ENTJs.

Hope this helps!
 

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I like INFJs a lot. However, I feel as if there is usually a lot of misunderstanding when the relationship is either superficial or once you really start to get to know the other person. Overall, I like INFJs more than any other NJ type, both in theory and in my experiences.

Beware, tho; they, and I quote; "may trample on our feelings without realizing it." And in professional situation, they're more of a perfectionist than us.
This is the truth. I know I don't do it on purpose, but under extreme stress it comes down to: what is the most efficient way to communicate? Which is unfortunately harsh at times. It's not done out of malice, but your best bet is to utilize your people reading skills and bail for a while. Unless you're needed, in which case just put the insenstivity on ignore.

As far as who is more of a perfectionist...I'd say it's a draw. From what I have experienced, the INFJ is focused on doing the best job, period. For me, I am trying to do the best job but the auxiliary objective is success, at all times.

I tend to have great trouble getting along with people with dominant Te (ETJs), major personality conflict. Te-Doms seem to have a relently drive for impersonal efficiency and padding the bottom line above all else, which drives me CRAZY because I put the needs of people first.
The bottom line is important though. :sad: I think one of the major misunderstandings is that we don't push the bottom line to spite your feelings, but IN spite of them. If your feelings are not related to the goal and are not on the forefront of our minds, we might forget to appreciate them. I think that this has something to do with the psychological health of the ENTJ in question. Your more diplomatic ENTJs will hopefully learned to be sensitive earlier in their life.

I have a little inkling that my one roommate might be an ENTJ, but I'm not quite sure. I dated an ESTJ before and they both structure and act in their environments about the same way. MY roommate can get quite a crazy side to her though, which can be pretty entertaining. I wasn't sure if she was Ni or Ne user for a while because of this... but then recently I've figured Ni because of the way she'd explain to me how she'd figure out future events.... it just sounded very Ni to me rather than a bunch of different possibilities.

She can get in her moods and get a bit rigid and "tell you like it is" at times. She's been amazed on how I've managed to keep patience with some people.... and, in a way, I think she's pushed me to "stick to my guns" a bit.

We haven't gotten very close, but we get along well living together -- both give each other our independence and hang out once a week or so. It seems to work for me, as its a bit less overwhelming than when I'm living with an ESFJ (dominate Fe type) who is always in need to be dependent of someone and always wants "get togethers" and "parties".

That being said, I've gotten very close with dominate Fe types so I've gotten the full experience. I have not gotten very close with an ENTJ (I don't think). My ENTJ roommate has told me a lot of things that she says she hasn't really told anyone... which I find interesting because we're really not that horribly close. But yet, I'm still reluctant to disclose information about my past issues and to expose my emotions on matters. I've vaguely told her about them, but not completely -- I guess its because I have that "vibe" that she's not a very sensitive person so I'm naturally hesitant on what to expect so I want to "protect my emotions" so to speak... even though she may perhaps end up accepting of them if I did tell her.
I think that that is one of the most common benefits of a friendship with a Te person. For ENTJs, our Fi rears its head at injustice in particular. Personally, I will offer to stand up for my more introverted friends if they need. Sometimes they take me up on my offer, sometimes they don't. I just want them to remember that someone values them enough to defend them, and that they should therefore stand up for themselves.

As for the sharing secrets...I have found that your more intelligent extroverts have a tendency to share secrets with strangers because they can't wield them against you. If they're not close, they can't hurt you as much.

I have an ENTJ friend and our friendship in the beginning (as young adults) was unpleasant. Everything he did annoyed me. Over the years as he's grown older and matured a bit, it's been easier to deal with him and we have reached an understanding of each other.

He puts up with a lot of my crap, and I put up with a lot of his...though I will draw the line at certain things.

I would say, the ENTJ has a tendency to see our questions of 'why?' as being combative. He always thought when I asked 'why' it was because I didn't 1) respect him, 2) believe him, 3) wanted to be argumentative... when that was never the case. I simply was curious as to why he believed/advised that as opposed to something else.

That's something I've definitely noticed. Also, the ENTJ sometimes has a tendency to take their anger or frustration out on you. At least this particular ENTJ did. I don't know about all ENTJs.

Hope this helps!
I'd love to know what you draw the line at, if it isn't too personal?

Personally, I love why questions. I only dislike "why" if it is asked with an air of inappropriate defiance. If I'm not looking for a fight, I don't like it when people ask things combatively...but the question itself is not inherently combative. It's one of my favourite questions.

We can take our anger out on innocent bystanders. I'd like to think that I have learned to temper that over the years. It is the reason behind me locking myself up in my room or car if I am actually angry. I need to cool off in private but then I'll be alright.
 

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The only friction I have with my INFJ best friend is she depends on me in her times of loneliness.
Unfortunately, she is typically lonely when her boyfriend is on tour, which is every three months.
So the times I hang out with her most are when her boyfriend is away.
That is a bit irritating.
 

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I'd love to know what you draw the line at, if it isn't too personal?
This particular ENTJ had a bad habit of swearing at me; and that was my line. I let him know I couldn't respect or befriend somebody who threw words like that at me (key word being 'at'). It's only occurred 3 times. The last time he got upset and went off, I didn't bother addressing it. I had addressed it twice before and my mind immediately clocked out of that friendship. I told him I had to leave and never contacted him again. After 3 months of not responding, he was really concerned I had died or something...

In any case, it's been resolved. We're friends again and he knows better.

Personally, I love why questions. I only dislike "why" if it is asked with an air of inappropriate defiance. If I'm not looking for a fight, I don't like it when people ask things combatively...but the question itself is not inherently combative. It's one of my favourite questions.
I think questions like "why" always seem to come off combative if it's after an ENTJ tells you to do something their way. There's no way to really say it without them thinking otherwise. I've learned to curb the situation by stating a disclaimer; even then he still gets a bit ticked off. I dunno.. what I find so ironic is that this particular ENTJ hates people who have 'blind faith', but expects us to have blind faith in his method without an explanation to his reason/experience as to how it was figured out.

I'm getting annoyed just thinking about those past arguments I've had with him lol He's like a very annoying older sibling of 5 years. We're so much older and wiser now lol When I visit those past memories of our ill-adjusted youth, I feel soooooo frusterated haha.

We can take our anger out on innocent bystanders. I'd like to think that I have learned to temper that over the years. It is the reason behind me locking myself up in my room or car if I am actually angry. I need to cool off in private but then I'll be alright.
That's a great way to handle anger because it's the same method I've used to control my emotional reactions. I don't get angry easily, but I do get hurt often. I've learned to curb the pain from an event by stepping away for a few hours, clearing my mind, and revisiting the person I need to address the problem with some time later. By then I'm usually clear enough in the head and far enough removed from the attack that I can discuss it without getting flustered myself :laughing:

PS: Is that James Dean in your avatar? He looks really handsome in that photo.
Edit: For a moment I thought that was a picture of you in your avatar.. I was gonna say "howl". HAHA, but then I noticed the pink symbol <3
 
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