OK, I'm posting this only because I have some serious questions regarding the compatibility of INFJs and ENXPs. I know it's supposed to work out, but in my personal case, the combination has never sat well with each other. Like, I mean, a lot of people I was drawn towards were ENFP or ENTP types, but none of my friendships with them ever lasted, or even got off the runway for the matter! The only people I have ever been able to connect with on a person-to-person basis were other INFJs? Is there something wrong with the theory and me? Am I the only person who reports this not working out?
INFJs and ENXPs (Some thoughts?)
[INFJ]
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
Wow, I'm kind of surprised no one has replied to this yet. I don't have any personal success in terms of romantic relationships with those two types for me to share. However, I do want to share my utter belief that there is truth to the theory. My best friend is an ENFP, and she is the most significant person in the world to me. I have thought to my self on many occasions that if I were ever to meet a guy like her, he could be the best thing to ever happen to me. There's this inexplicable understanding between us, that has been present and growing since we were in 2nd grade. Understanding is the most significant thing in a relationship, and i believe is integral to a successful romantic relationship. I have only ever experienced that understanding among 2 other types IRL: ENFPs and ENTPs. Not INFJs even, because the ones I have met have been way high on their judging preference, or perhaps it is that i understand them too well, so they hold no real interest for me (on an attraction basis).
I met another ENFP this year, and I feel this crazy connection to her as well, and am rediculously pleased to see her and be in her company when ever we meet. Another situation where, if she were a guy I would probably be hugely attracted to her.
And then the ENTP that I've known for the past 3-4 years....sigh...I can't begin to explain the affect he has on me. The few times I've been able to talk to him one on one, well, they were moments in time that I've never experienced with any other type, including ENFP. After admiring him from afar for 3 years, I finally told him of the intensity of my feelings for him, only to learn that he is already in a relationship. So now I wait, either for his current relationship to run its course, or for myself to meet another ENTP.
What these three amazing people have left me with is a profound and possibly foolish trust in the myth. ENFPs have the most comforting presence, and I adore who they are, but the ENTP is hands down the most incredible person I've ever met, and the ease with which I can talk to him is almost too much, because I shouldn't be telling him so much while he is still with his other woman.
Check out robert downey jr. and his wife in some interviews. I can't guarantee that she is INFJ, but I think it is likely, or atleast, this is how I imagine the ENTP/INFJ relationship would work, whether she is INFJ or not. Their outlook on life, their trust in each other and themselves and their relationship is so beautiful. I only hope for such a relationship, and I feel like it is really only possible with an ENTP.
Can I ask, why did none of your friendships with those two types last?
I met another ENFP this year, and I feel this crazy connection to her as well, and am rediculously pleased to see her and be in her company when ever we meet. Another situation where, if she were a guy I would probably be hugely attracted to her.
And then the ENTP that I've known for the past 3-4 years....sigh...I can't begin to explain the affect he has on me. The few times I've been able to talk to him one on one, well, they were moments in time that I've never experienced with any other type, including ENFP. After admiring him from afar for 3 years, I finally told him of the intensity of my feelings for him, only to learn that he is already in a relationship. So now I wait, either for his current relationship to run its course, or for myself to meet another ENTP.
What these three amazing people have left me with is a profound and possibly foolish trust in the myth. ENFPs have the most comforting presence, and I adore who they are, but the ENTP is hands down the most incredible person I've ever met, and the ease with which I can talk to him is almost too much, because I shouldn't be telling him so much while he is still with his other woman.
Check out robert downey jr. and his wife in some interviews. I can't guarantee that she is INFJ, but I think it is likely, or atleast, this is how I imagine the ENTP/INFJ relationship would work, whether she is INFJ or not. Their outlook on life, their trust in each other and themselves and their relationship is so beautiful. I only hope for such a relationship, and I feel like it is really only possible with an ENTP.
Can I ask, why did none of your friendships with those two types last?
imo, Robert Downey Jr is ESTP. I get an all-Se, no-Ne vibe from him.
ENTPs are amazing people. They just want to know that you won't judge them for being themselves because they know being themselves is often looked down upon. Also, they aren't that great at maintaining friendships unless they have a good reason to.
My ENFP friendships have never really lasted long-term but they are great people to be around. They really value INFJ input.
ENTPs are amazing people. They just want to know that you won't judge them for being themselves because they know being themselves is often looked down upon. Also, they aren't that great at maintaining friendships unless they have a good reason to.
My ENFP friendships have never really lasted long-term but they are great people to be around. They really value INFJ input.
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
Would you mind giving some more specific examples for why he seems se, not ne to you?
Hmm... it's a sense, but I'll try to explain.
He has an Se sense of personal style. Ne personal style is different.
He has the Se ego. He has Se eyes.
ENTPs really are homebodies, and he doesn't strike me as that type.
He doesn't have the tell-tale ENTP humour. I just don't see the Ne in there. Everything he says is matter of fact. ENTPs love telling funny stories -- stuff that they saw happen but the way they retell it is just pointing out all the hilarious behaviour of the players involved.
See Andy Samberg:
Joined
·
613 Posts
I have a similar experience, I’ve recently discovered that my best childhood MALE friend is an INFJ. But in thinking of ex girlfriends I have no confirmed suspects. I’m drawn to extroverts, and find introverts frustrating so I’m impatient with them.
BTW, Robert Downey Jr. is listed as an ENTP here, but famous actors are good at playing roles, so their true personality is intentionally disguised.
Joined
·
148 Posts
Well, I never really knew an ENTP, BUT every ENFP I've ever known I've loved to pieces. I'm not saying I love all ENFPs, but I do tend to find them very amusing and fun. They know how to live without ever being too serious while still retaining a level of emotional depth to them, generally speaking of course. I can't say, with the exception of my sister, that I've ever been very close to one, but I've always wanted to be/I think I could have become great friends with the ones I did meet.
Joined
·
386 Posts
Well, let me start by saying that I hover around the INFJ forums by default. The way INFJ's perceive and react to the universe around them is very different from mine, and incredibly, I suppose, contrasting to mine. It's sort of like with 3-D glasses, I have one shade lense, the INFJ the other, and when I put the two together, the universe expands to a new dimension that I don't really see on my own. Other NF's contribute in this way too, I just sort of gravitate to them a bit more than the other three sub-types.
Regarding 'getting off the runway', it's probably this step-by-step system you seem to be using for friendships that is obstructing you. Try meeting us up in the air. We don't like to hang around on the runway all the time like some people. In fact, you'll probably have to guide us down for refueling, or we'll just stay up there until we crash.
Joined
·
189 Posts
I have had a few ENFP friends as well as an ENFP father. I usually feel a deep connection with them. However, it has been hard to maintain friendships with them. From what I have read, if an ENFP really likes someone either as a friend or possibly more that they tend to contact them on a regular basis. Unless I see an ENFP on a daily basis, there is no contact and the only contact is when I actually see them. I always want to maintain a friendship with them and put whatever effort I can to make it a friendship. However, it never seems to be reciprocated. After a while I get frustrated. I partly blame myself because I usually don't present myself as being their best friend initially (I am naturally a very cautious person until I get to know someone. Sometimes it takes a while for me to feel comfortable. Also, I tend to have tunnel vision sometimes and don't always see what is around me (as my ISFJ mother would say 
) so maybe ENFPs feel that I am not interested in being their friend. At the same time though, if I tried to make contact with you, wouldn't you think that maybe I was interested in being your friend?
As for ENTPs, I have met only one I think was an ENTP. We worked on a project in college together. I did the majority of the work, and he tried to submit it as an assignment HE wrote for another class. I felt really used.
) so maybe ENFPs feel that I am not interested in being their friend. At the same time though, if I tried to make contact with you, wouldn't you think that maybe I was interested in being your friend?As for ENTPs, I have met only one I think was an ENTP. We worked on a project in college together. I did the majority of the work, and he tried to submit it as an assignment HE wrote for another class. I felt really used.
Still not sure whether my dad's INTP or ENTP as his Ti and Ne are equally strong and apparent, but he is hilarious and really animated when he wants to be (so many people call him the Jokester). He has turned into a homebody over the years, too, but he still chats people up whenever he's out. His tales are legendary and humorous; could this be attributed to Ne at work? If so, awesome, awesome. In any case, I am pretty partial to both ENTPs and ENFPs alike.
Welcome, @drgreen19 !
Symposium time!
No, you're not alone.
I know some ENxP/INFJ relationships that are having problems because both sides are/were vunerable at that/this point in time.
ENxP's are the best match for an INFJ because the are lead iNs like we are.
INFJs have Ni and ENxPs have Ne. Thus, it complete's eachother's iNs.
It's all about using your mate's functions to work with yours and make a better attack on life.
You can have an INFJ/INFJ relationship, but you put you "eggs in one basket" when you do that. If you can't handle something, neither can they, because they're the same as you. That's why ENTPs are good. When an INFJ needs some crafty Ne, we can turn to them!
When the ENTP is losing their direction, they can turn to our Ni.
We have some common ground with them:
Fe and Ti.
So ENTPs speak the same language, but use it in different ways, thus completing you.
(Ne + Fe makes them helpful with suggestions opposed to critical, something INFJs are sensitive to. But it also makes them more sensitive than the ENFP. INFJs are typically kind so this isn't a big issue) (Ti + Si put an intellectual twist on their quirky, fun loving nature. It also makes them a little stubborn and arrogant, but in a lovable way.)
ENFPs are the 2nd best choice because they have that Ne I mentioned earlier.
But they're the runner-up because we don't share ANY functions with them.
So ENFPs DO NOT speak the same language, and operate in a different way.
I have had a lot of experience with ENFPs and:
when they're happy, they're great.
Cross them in any way, and there will be war. (Ne + Te makes them very volatile when provoked and critical) (Fi + Si makes them not particularly care what you think either).
These traits, onced worked through, can be very beneficial, though.
Other good matches I would endorse are ENFJ and INTJ.
Joined
·
627 Posts
I like enfps females as friends, but when I come across an enfp male and have to deal with his emotions as if on a roller coaster, I find this tiring. I think of ways to turn him into an entp male...experience from a past relationship with an enfp male...it's ideal to accept them, quirks and all. God knows I have mines.
Joined
·
710 Posts
my older sister is ENFP....
it's so complicated....
we don't relate...we have completely different interests...we like doing a lot of the same things, but then completely opposite for example
we both like art
but mine is more realistic or looks like photographs
while she draws Japanese/anime/manga characters
(I'm not sure what they are called...Its far from my own interests)
that is one example but it seems like every thing we do/think is that opposite
I could never be myself around her with out having to worry about hurting her feelings v.v
she would always ask for my opinion on everything that she did...and I usually didn't relate much to whatever she was doing ....so unless I wanted to hear how mean/uncaring I was about a topic I knew nothing about and didn't really care to know much about, I'd just say what she wanted to hear and move on, we could never carry a conversation unless I was proceeding in this manor
I know everyone is different so I wouldn't contribute the fact that she was ENFP to be the main reason our relationship is awkward
She also, never really listens when I need to say something....and it's rare that I need to say something to her....she likes to talk...
it's so complicated....
we don't relate...we have completely different interests...we like doing a lot of the same things, but then completely opposite for example
we both like art
but mine is more realistic or looks like photographs
while she draws Japanese/anime/manga characters
(I'm not sure what they are called...Its far from my own interests)
that is one example but it seems like every thing we do/think is that opposite
I could never be myself around her with out having to worry about hurting her feelings v.v
she would always ask for my opinion on everything that she did...and I usually didn't relate much to whatever she was doing ....so unless I wanted to hear how mean/uncaring I was about a topic I knew nothing about and didn't really care to know much about, I'd just say what she wanted to hear and move on, we could never carry a conversation unless I was proceeding in this manor
I know everyone is different so I wouldn't contribute the fact that she was ENFP to be the main reason our relationship is awkward
She also, never really listens when I need to say something....and it's rare that I need to say something to her....she likes to talk...
As an ENFP I find my most meaningful and substantial connections have been with INFJs. I love you guys to bits. I grew up in a family of xNFJs (plus an ENTP) so I’ve been around a lot of Fe/Ti, (and of course the Ni/Ne dynamic which is awesome… but that’s a given :wink to me you guys feel like home :happy:.
to me you guys feel like home :happy:.
Joined
·
25 Posts
Wow, very interesting reading through all the posts on this thread. I too have been doing a lot of reading on the subject
I'm currently dating an ENFP female, I am INFJ. We've been dating for around 3 months now and it is going really well, so well that sometimes I feel im in this strange dreamland and I have to pinch myself to see if it is real. To be honest I cant really explain our connection, its like a spiritual one. She brings out my playful side, which I hide away due to my introvertedness. I bring out her realism, when she gets over enthusiastic and doesnt think things through. We (and I believe all INFJ/ENFP combinations) can work really well as a team, its amazing.
My reasoning behind why I think we work so well is that we have both had to work though our share of hard times, we both see therapists to get a solid grounding on our lives. We are both working towards being emotionally strong and I think without this work on ourselves the relationship could become co-dependant...
Man oh man, I have to say though... What an amazing connection, it's like we are mind-reading each other a lot of the time... We will go silent for a while, then one of us will perk up with a topic of conversation... the other person is a stunned mullet as it was the exact topic they were thinking of in their own head...
Good luck everybody with your relationships.... All personality types can work with your own solid groundings
I'm currently dating an ENFP female, I am INFJ. We've been dating for around 3 months now and it is going really well, so well that sometimes I feel im in this strange dreamland and I have to pinch myself to see if it is real. To be honest I cant really explain our connection, its like a spiritual one. She brings out my playful side, which I hide away due to my introvertedness. I bring out her realism, when she gets over enthusiastic and doesnt think things through. We (and I believe all INFJ/ENFP combinations) can work really well as a team, its amazing.
My reasoning behind why I think we work so well is that we have both had to work though our share of hard times, we both see therapists to get a solid grounding on our lives. We are both working towards being emotionally strong and I think without this work on ourselves the relationship could become co-dependant...
Man oh man, I have to say though... What an amazing connection, it's like we are mind-reading each other a lot of the time... We will go silent for a while, then one of us will perk up with a topic of conversation... the other person is a stunned mullet as it was the exact topic they were thinking of in their own head...
Good luck everybody with your relationships.... All personality types can work with your own solid groundings
Joined
·
613 Posts
Thank you, interesting. So INFJs & ENTPs share the same Fe + Ti, and their Ne and Ni are complementary. WHatever that means..:tongue:
Joined
·
10,720 Posts
I haven't been in a relationship in over a decade now, so I won't even try to guess which type I'd get along with best at this point. All I know is that I really enjoy being with someone who not only accepts my Fe, but encourages and engages me to use it often, because I don't get that in my day-to-day. There are certain expectations put upon me as a guy to be more stoic, less of a feeler and more of a thinker type. The best relationships I've had are with those who appreciate my Fe rather than mock me for it.
Do T women enjoy Fe men more or do F women? Hmm...
For what it might matter, the type I easily fall for most is ISFP. That might be because my first love was one though, so I have an unconscious bias, lol. That doesn't mean I've had many relationships with them. Just a lot of infatuations over the years.
Do T women enjoy Fe men more or do F women? Hmm...
For what it might matter, the type I easily fall for most is ISFP. That might be because my first love was one though, so I have an unconscious bias, lol. That doesn't mean I've had many relationships with them. Just a lot of infatuations over the years.
I love this :happy:.
I’m going through the budding phase of ‘perhaps something more’ with an INFJ at the moment. To date it has been the most amazing connection I’ve experienced with someone yet. We’re both MBTI savvy and both eager to learn and understand not only each other but ourselves too so I think that really adds to the dynamic. We’re both well aware of the infamous INFJ Fe-explosion and the ENFP Te-bitchslap though I find they almost never happen.
We’re different in the sense that we have no function the same, however function preferences are in the same order so it’s like they fill in the gaps rather than cause a conflict of interest. So yes I agree, when we’re both in the situation of wanting to learn, understand and develop the relationship, it makes one incredible dynamic. As a team we’re this unstoppable force. :happy:
I like how I can let my guard down around ENFP's (I'm not completely sure if I've ever met an ENTP..)--they make good friends in my experience, and I love the magnetism. What I don't like about the connection is the Fi+Te / Fe/Ti divide; it leaves me a bit unsatisfied. I don't exactly feel we're on the same level at the core. Any other INFJ's (or ENFP's) feel the same way?
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Join the discussion
Join now to ask and comment!