[vocalist]

What's your style of gift-giving?

I find I don't really like it when I feel obligated to give, like for Christmas or for a birthday. I do give at these times, but only when I have something I really want to give, yk? If I just can't think of what to give a person I care about, I will wait for that "aha" moment to know exactly what to buy or make. I like the idea of giving a gift "just because," rather than for a pre-determined occasion. I find it tedious to have to browse in a gift shop to find something suitable to give a person when I could just wait for inspiration.

I am not reliable with sending cards, either. For instance, some years my parents have received Mother's Day and Father's Day cards from me and sometimes they have not. But I do try to show my appreciation for them throughout the year as I feel inspired to do so. I like to think that they understand. I hope they're not offended when I "forget" their birthdays or other special days.

I will sometimes give a gift to a friend or family member, say two months before their birthday, and say it's an early birthday present, because I don't know if I'm going to have something else to give them on their actual birthday. If they're a type (like my mom) who are devoted to tradition, I might wrap the gift and invite them to either open it now, or to save it for their special day (and it's not my fault if they don't remember!).

I also enjoy making gifts, if it's something I'm good at making and if I think my effort will be appreciated by the recipient.

In short, I enjoy giving gifts. But I'd rather give them when I feel like giving them, not because I feel obligated to do so.

ETA: I forgot about this before, but also how are you at receiving gifts? What kinds of gifts do you like to receive, and when? How do you react to a gift that you really like, versus one that you really dislike?

 

[Malovane]

I'm not a big card giver. I never understood them really, though they're sometimes funny. All it says to me is someone cared enough to pay a couple dollars at their local pharmacy while browsing for hair products. It just seems pretty impersonal, since those aren't really your words.

I try to give gifts that are meaningful, or something that will assist a person in their ambitions. Preferably something that does both.

 

[thegirlcandance]

What's your style of gift-giving?

I find I don't really like it when I feel obligated to give, like for Christmas or for a birthday. I do give at these times, but only when I have something I really want to give, yk? If I just can't think of what to give a person I care about, I will wait for that "aha" moment to know exactly what to buy or make. I like the idea of giving a gift "just because," rather than for a pre-determined occasion. I find it tedious to have to browse in a gift shop to find something suitable to give a person when I could just wait for inspiration.

I am not reliable with sending cards, either. For instance, some years my parents have received Mother's Day and Father's Day cards from me and sometimes they have not. But I do try to show my appreciation for them throughout the year as I feel inspired to do so. I like to think that they understand. I hope they're not offended when I "forget" their birthdays or other special days.

I will sometimes give a gift to a friend or family member, say two months before their birthday, and say it's an early birthday present, because I don't know if I'm going to have something else to give them on their actual birthday. If they're a type (like my mom) who are devoted to tradition, I might wrap the gift and invite them to either open it now, or to save it for their special day (and it's not my fault if they don't remember!).

I also enjoy making gifts, if it's something I'm good at making and if I think my effort will be appreciated by the recipient.

In short, I enjoy giving gifts. But I'd rather give them when I feel like giving them, not because I feel obligated to do so.

It seems to be a dominant Fe thing to be very big on following societal norms for gifts and its more of an Si thing to be very focused on the details as to when to send cards, gifts, etc.
I like to go big on certain occasions... like a special birthday or 25th anniversary or so. I'll usually do it in a way that it ends up being a surprise.

There are occasions that I will definitely forget though... or I'll kind of improvise the holiday around to where its a little more practical... meaning, for example, if I won't be around for Father's Day I'll just make up for it the next time I'm home by giving a card and/or gift since I can't be there that day. My ISFJ mother hasn't been able to understand my reasoning with that because, to her, that day is that day and can't be moved around to another day.

I'll forget to send cards at times too. Like I'll be late a day or so for a birthday or forget to send an anniversary card to a friend (realized I forgot a month after the anniversary with a friend who's wedding I was in... eek)

... and yes, I do wait for an "A ha" moment with gifts as well. Sometimes that moment has just never come and I just settle with whatever... but I'm just never too excited about it unless I have one of those moments.

 

[StarryNight]

I like to give gifts randomly...that way they are actually surprised. I find a lot of joy in that.

 

[Resolution]

I like for each of my gifts to mean something. And I like to give a gift that I genuinely think that the other person needs and would be benefitted by.

If I cant think of a gift that I could get excited about... then I'll just give something bland... but if I see something perfect for someone that is important ot me, I won't wait for a "special day" to give it.... I'll just give it to them as a surprise.

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy :dry:

 

[thegirlcandance]

I'm not a big card giver. I never understood them really, though they're sometimes funny. All it says to me is someone cared enough to pay a couple dollars at their local pharmacy while browsing for hair products. It just seems pretty impersonal, since those aren't really your words.

I try to give gifts that are meaningful, or something that will assist a person in their ambitions. Preferably something that does both.

Agreed. The only reason I have bought cards is because its what some people expect solely because its something society told us we need to do. Truly, its a waste.

 

[vocalist]

I'm not a big card giver. I never understood them really, though they're sometimes funny. All it says to me is someone cared enough to pay a couple dollars at their local pharmacy while browsing for hair products. It just seems pretty impersonal, since those aren't really your words.
.

Agreed. I don't like buying cards for people unless I have something really meaningful to write inside.

 

[Runescribe]

I also enjoy making gifts, if it's something I'm good at making and if I think my effort will be appreciated by the recipient.

In short, I enjoy giving gifts. But I'd rather give them when I feel like giving them, not because I feel obligated to do so.

I feel the same way. I like to make gifts or at least come up with something I think the person will value even if it is small. I dislike feeling obligated because it just doesn't seem authentic. I want to give because I really care about the person and not because it's just something you do by rote.

ETA: I forgot about this before, but also how are you at receiving gifts? What kinds of gifts do you like to receive, and when? How do you react to a gift that you really like, versus one that you really dislike?

To me a good gift is one that shows someone has paid attention to me. Listened to my ideas or observed a need. My wife does a very good job of this. A pleasant and heartwarming surprise for me last year was when my art assistant gave me a painting she had done, along with a gift card for a massage and a pack of deodorant. This may seem an odd assortment but every one of them had a special meaning. They were each symbolic. And let this inform anyone who thinks an ISFP does not have a greater depth than we see on the outside. They pay attention to detail.

 

[curious0610]

I love giving gifts to those I love. I love to handmake the cards to customize the design for the person and write a not-too-long, but thoughtful note. For me, a gift without a thoughtful card or letter feels empty. I think as a general rule of thumb, you can evaluate my care for someone based on the time and effort I put into making the card and writing the note. For gifts, I have a knack of finding a gift that is unexpected, yet something the person really likes or is really useful to that person's lifestyle. Sometimes I'll wait to find the perfect gift for a close person (even after their birthday passes), until I can find something that is meaningful or fitting for that person.

As for receiving gifts, I'm really hard to please and I prefer buying stuff on my own time, with my own money. Another thing - when I go to stores, I usually do my research before going and have the exact item # of what I want. And if I can't afford something, I put it on a list, and work extra hours to save up for it. To be honest, I don't think I've ever received a gift that I liked. I've received gifts that were useful or helpful. And I'm always thankful for these and remember to write a nice 'thank you' card for the gift-givers. BUT, I'd say the best gift I could get would be a warm-felt hug from a loved one, them telling me (verbally or written) how much they treasure me as a person in their life, and some kind of meaningful souvenir of spending time together (their gift to me). I know.. i'm such a hopeless romantic.

*Edit: one time, I received a gift from someone, which was very attentive to me. A nice scarf (color and pattern that were totally my style) and a new album of my favorite pop-artist. However, when I opened the card, I was so disappointed. It was one of those pretty Hallmark cards with a really mushy-gushy quote in the middle. The person wrote "To curious" before the quote, and "from Friend" at the bottom. =( I still thanked her for everything, but I couldn't help but feel a bit like a downer

 

[AtheistGuy]

I hate writing endless thank you cards... I hate it in fact I didn't do it this past year (Nov) and it made me feel really self-conscious though...

I love when people make food for me... apart from just love, I miss that the most from dating.... I LOVE when girls make you desserts and they taste really good.

 

[PaulH]

I am with the "making stuff" camp

I don't mind shop bought cards per se - but the price has now gone to rip off levels so we avoid and make our own - which is also better from the recycling point of view

One of the great things about having kids is there is an excuse to keep a "doodle drawer" of off cuts etc for craft projects. With older children you can actually make useful stuff (wooden boxes, a shoe rack have all appeared in our house) and it teaches them useful skills and a bit of self reliance.

A gift means a lot more when a bit of heart, soul and sweat has gone into it

 

[Jwing24]

Agree with everyone pretty much. I enjoy giving gifts when I feel it's right. I do, but don't really enjoy, give gifts because society says I have to at certain times.

 

[scrybaby]

I like giving gifts just because and only when inspired. I'm so bad at the whole cards thing but I forced myself to do it last year at the holiday. In order to make the cards "feel special". I had to make origami ornaments to put in each card. And I had to make each one a little different. So, this card endeavor ended up taking like a whole week to make 30 something ornaments. I hate writing in cards, I can never think of what i"m supposed to say and I hate saying the generic things that everyone says.
I love cooking for people, that's like giving a gift in a way, especially if I know what they really like and I can make their favorite.

 

[Ethanol]

My ISFJ-mom loves reading cards, getting cards, and giving cards. The problem is, she never knows what to write... and she always asks me to write things for her on the cards. No one else in the family wants to do it, not even my INFJ-dad. So, come Holidays, I’m sitting at the table writing out long and thoughtful cards for other people I barely know... to which my ISFJ mom will read and smile LOL

I should start my own Holiday Card company :laughing:

I’ve never been a big gift giver or gift receiver, but I think that was mainly due to being broke when I was younger. My gift giving has increased over the years.

So for my INFP friend, I always try to gift her something I know she’ll use. We’ve had several instances where I’ll send her gifts and she said “OMG HOW did you know I needed this?! I was JUST thinking of buying this!”. I tend to send her a lot of practical items that can be used. I think she gets a little spooked by my Ni-gift giving LOL

For my ENFJ-ex, I bought him a 1TB SSD Samsung hard drive for his MacBook Pro and upgraded it for him.

ENFP-ex, I made one of those old-school friendship bracelets and a pack of “love coupons” for free kisses, hugs, massages, etc... (This was during my college years, so my gift giving was a lot more creative haha)

These days, I do love to give gifts, but I always give things that are more practical, functional, and consumable.

 

[Stopping By Woods]

I custom make presents and cards for those important to me...

I'm not big on receiving cards or gifts myself.

 

[Samari]

I often dread gift-giving

At least when it's at an expected interval of a holiday or birthday, I don't often give much other than a homemade treat.
When I was younger I tried harder, especially at Christmas. One year I made hand-carved wooden spoons for everyone in the family.
Another year, handmade dreamcatchers. One year, small paintings. I even got into doing handmade jewelry. But what I realized was that it was exhausting and I didn't like feeling like a gift-mill. So I announced that I wanted to spend time on other things, and my family was fine with that.

I also don't send people cards. To me, it feels kind of pointless. I don't like getting cards unless there is something really meaningful written, or something fun inside (like stickers, photos, $, gift card). But I do like randomly getting postcards from strange places, so I sometimes send those to people. I remember a while back I had joined an online group where people would send postcards to foreign countries and get postcards back from strangers with nifty foreign stamps. That was pretty fun.

I sometimes dread receiving gifts as well. Mostly because I don't like feeling singled out, or I worry there is an unspoken obligation attached. I know that some people are just generous and thoughtful, but I always feel a bit caught out if someone gifts me something (a classmate at the end of term, or a coworker at end of year, etc) because I don't spontaneously gift others very often. I guess I put more effort into doing favors than giving gifts...

 

[INForJoking]

I prefer to give individual specifically specific gifts. I unfortunately, don’t have any pictures of these types of gifts I have given. All my gifts are always artistically unique or at least very thoughtful for each individual person.

I do actually have photos of these types of gifts from some very special and meaningful people in my life. :triumphant:

ENFJ sister: Yankee Swap! Coach Mc Guirk Home Movies. A show we all love and a beloved character! She really outdid herself!

My MaineCoon couldn’t stand the photo- op and had to make his debut...

From a very lovely and thoughtful INFJ. This necklace is quite beautiful and highly meaningful. Awesome gift!

A Degas Ballerina statue. From my ENFP. He saw the photo I took of the statue with the Monet Water lily background and gifted it to me a few tears later.

Another from my ENFP. Uncle Tobias. He blew ( blue ) himself. Knowing what an Arrested Development fan we all are and how much I love Uncle T- Bags and the dialogue about his character, he gifted me this.

Overall, mostly I associate Fe doms as being great gift givers. However, ( I didn’t have room for all gifts ) ENFP, INFP, and even ENTP’s can give pretty awesome gifts!


* I have always thought cards were dumb. I have never bought them. What a waste. I’ve made meaningful gifts, but pay $4.50 for some cheap card? Nuts to that! Here’s a card I made, enjoy the gift. Wait, I do take that back, I have bought cards for my friends’ weddings. I usually buy the cheap ones from grandpa to to the 6 year old’s Bday or a card that is for something inappropriate for any wedding. By now, my friends just nod because they get it.