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I've had issues in and out the you-know-what. ADD, OCD, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, clinical depression and possibly Aspergers all according to different doctors and shrinks I've had. I was always frustrated, especially as a teenager at how these issues labeled and defined me to other people. I once heard my parents say without knowing I was in the room, "My God, how did we end up with a special child?" By 'special', I knew that they meant, 'disabled'. I wondered why and how my brain was the way it was. Was I just born with a defective brain? I do know that ADD, depression and anxiety runs in my family. I wondered before I even knew about the MBTI personalities if I was mentally ill, or if my problems just tie in with my personality. I am a perfectionist (OCD and anorexia) as well as someone who is afraid and uncertain of the future (anxiety) I'm definitely a daydreamer (ADD) and I often feel lonely and misunderstood (depression) I'm not saying that mental issues ALWAYS tie in with someone's personality; obviously, a condition like schizophrenia or autism shouldn't define the person's character as a whole. I don't know if what I'm saying is true or even makes any sense, it's just my thoughts.
 

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I'm only speaking from a personal perspective here. It's much easier to "socialize" on the internet due to the anonymity it allows. You can also do so on your own terms and take as much time as you want to formulate your thoughts into words. Granted, it is still very possible to come across as an idiot online but the lack of any real punishment negates that fear. It's not a substitute for true contact with people and those I do know in a like mindset don't see it as such.

I think you're correct in that assessment. A lot of folks I've met online through the years often have personality disorders.
I don't understand- isn't everyone online, in some way?
And I thought I was the total weirdo without social media!!!
Just earlier today I read about how its career suicide to not have a linked in profile or facebook because it's suspect :laughing:
I fantasize about no internet- but until a major career in hiding under a rock is viable thats not likely..
 

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I would say that the childhood trauma I experienced had much more to do with the mental illness I used to struggle with than my type. If I had been raised in the kind of home we are creating for our kids, my life would have been very different.
 

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It may Also be some type of problem ego

simplelifestrategies.com/10-signs-your-ego-is-in-control/

They can also be problems with relationships with others, aiming at only to limited relationship:

eg "only feel a strong tie of friendship, whatever the association you share with these individuals. There will be mutual trust, and much ease of communication, back and forth. You are very different; yet these differences have little or no effect on your regard for each other. There could be a sense of responsibility, some sort of inescapable duty, that brings you together, and strengthens the bond between you. You’ll find these individuals easy to talk with, and you’ll constantly stimulate each other into changing habits and existing situations.

You’ll probably form very close friendships with these people, and remain friendly always. Any quarrels will usually be quickly resolved, forgiven and forgotten. You may bicker and disagree frequently, and be annoyed by some mutual obligation that ties you together, yet be unable to avoid it–and even when the association seems to be a closed chapter it will reappear months or years later, to be once more resumed."
 

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Just earlier today I read about how its career suicide to not have a linked in profile or facebook because it's suspect :laughing:
I fantasize about no internet- but until a major career in hiding under a rock is viable thats not likely..
I think that as long as you have a good resume, you’re set. Linked In is pimped till the cows come home and it’s a crappy resource if you ask me. Companies don’t seem to update their hiring sections! People have their own sites these days, those will always be updated with the good companies, as will a large site such as career builder. And facebook? Since when is social networking of any sort mandatorily tied in with a career? I’m not attacking you, I’m just annoyed with the ideas. I have seen what you wrote, a lot online as well.I’m challenging those ideas because I don’t think they are very worthy or valid, again, not attacking you personally, just the ideas that I refuse to jump on board with.I have a few family members (older) who are not on facebook and it inspires me to be myself. Social is not my priority. I am a good worker and I know how to socialize, but I certainly don’t prefer it and get drained and overwhelmed by the greed and loudness of people, easily. It kind of infuriates me that certain characteristics are still being touted as better and preferred: the exuberant extrovert. Personally: not my favorite.

My point: grab life by the balls and TAKE what you want. You can have a life without internet. The internet is a giant freakin hole for sensitive introverts to fall into and die. Although applying for jobs you need internet of course. My god, it’s just the worst though: many companies want you to spend like 15 minutes just signing up on their site, filling out an online application, it’s just the absolute worst. Attach resume and cover letter ßhow it should be. Done and done.
 

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I often wonder if there's a correlation between being surrounded by major assholes and having a 'mental illness.' Scapegoating, gaslighting, manipulative aggressive personalities, the world is filled with so many big fucking jerks.
Oh absolutely!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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Depression, ADD, and Social Anxiety.
Though, I do think my social anxiety is directly related to my depression. I feel as though I might project my poor self-image when depressed, believing that others must think of me in the same way. If I believe others think poorly of me, my Fe freaks out, fumbles frantically, and desperately tries to find a hole in which to hide.
 

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Negative emotions are obviously harder to deal with than positive ones, but there are certain pitfalls the INFJ should look out for when expressing positive emotions. When expressing their feelings, their positive state of mind can easily be knocked down by others’ critique, as they easily pick up on others’ energy. Although their Ni usually senses whether such critique comes from genuine concern or envy, and their Ti can weigh arguments to a certain extent, their emotions will still be affected. Even when the INFJ rationally knows the critical comments are not justified. This is because of the inability to independently manage their emotions efficiently, as I discussed earlier. And when they get immersed in the negative emotions caused by the critical comments, unable to handle such emotions, they will likely start doubting the validity of their formerly joyful experience. So how should they handle a situation like this?

This is a bit of a dilemma, because when the INFJ communicates a joyful experience to someone, and that person has a positive response, the INFJ will pick up on that positive emotional energy using their Se and Fe, and thus reinforce the already positive state of mind, like throwing oil onto fire – the response of the other person being the oil. Note how, in the case of emotional turmoil, Ni and Ti do not function properly, as intense emotions are not converted and scaled sufficiently before they are processed by these functions. So in case of intense emotions, their reasoning and conclusions can produce an outcome that can seem exaggerated, when compared to the reality of the situation in question. In case of a positive response from the other person, this can feel like a good thing to the INFJ, who will experience a natural high because of their oil-on-fire emotional processing. But this same principle can backfire when they are criticized, leaving the INFJ feeling unhappy. And the effect will be larger in INFJ’s who have low self-esteem or a depression, because positive emotions (about themselves) can seem disproportionally big compared to their depressed emotional baseline, making the fall back to that baseline or lower feel even more devastating. So INFJ’s may choose to share their experience, with the risk of being criticized and subsequently feeling unhappy, or choose to keep their intense emotions to themselves, which they may find hard to do. There is a secure middle way, which entails sharing their positive experience only with those who they absolutely know will cheer them on, no matter what. Or, in the unfortunate case of having no such person available, writing them down in a positivity journal. But these methods might feel a bit restrictive. Another option would be to communicate their positive emotions freely as they see fit, and having a reality check when encountering negative feedback.

I think it´s important to remember for INFJ´s that the intense emotions they may experience from time to time rarely reflect reality. But, one may ask, who would want to face dry reality when overcome with intense joy? There certainly are situations in which this is desirable. And in the case of intense negative emotions, whether they arise after critical comments or otherwise, having a reality check can be essential for re-establishing emotional balance
 

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I don't understand- isn't everyone online, in some way?
And I thought I was the total weirdo without social media!!!
Just earlier today I read about how its career suicide to not have a linked in profile or facebook because it's suspect :laughing:
I fantasize about no internet- but until a major career in hiding under a rock is viable thats not likely..
The whole social media thing is one spot where it's easy to be misunderstood. I don't have any of it and people in corporate land insist that you have to have a LinkedIn page or whatever. I know people make assumptions, so generally I'll wait for them to mention it. If I have to, I'll explain that I'm a very private person. Generally, I don't bother. If they don't ask, I let it fall by the wayside.

Definitely feels weird the be considered weird for not wanting a world of intrusions and bombardment from others.
 

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When people are sad they are sad. When they are happy they are happy. When they are angry they are angry. And that's the long & short of it for a lot of people. To us it's never that simple. If we are sad there must be an underlying reason we are sad
There's a reason for their sad and happy and angry too - they just don't care about it as much :) This is why their intuitive friend "understands them so well" and why they're so shocked when someone destroys their world with a single sentence.

As for me I'm just with the depression.
 

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There's a reason for their sad and happy and angry too - they just don't care about it as much :) This is why their intuitive friend "understands them so well" and why they're so shocked when someone destroys their world with a single sentence.

As for me I'm just with the depression.
You made some great points here. Lots of people just seem to react to think of things. They never seem to think about the reason why. Which is interesting because where they may just move on and think that they were just in a crap mood, but we don't work that way at all, do we?

You also illustrated the two sides of the coin very well; their introverted friend understands them so well but can destroy their world with a single sentence. Because of the first half, the latter is possible, but I'd like to think an INFJ in a healthy space won't do that. If I'm off balance or in an unhealthy space, some terribly cutting things can come out of my mouth. or more likely, I'll write something that could just reduce them to ashes.

I've never been diagnosed as clinically depressed, but I would describe life as being long bouts of melancholy along with occasional bursts of joy. And I guess that's OK.

I read your other thoughts on contacts through social media and I also go through spells where I just can't make myself email, post, respond, or anything. Not sure why. Other days, I enjoy the conversations, but I will disappear for days or weeks at a time. Some friends get it and some friends don't. I've been cut loose for it and cut others loose for not understanding.
 

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You made some great points here. Lots of people just seem to react to think of things. They never seem to think about the reason why. Which is interesting because where they may just move on and think that they were just in a crap mood, but we don't work that way at all, do we?

You also illustrated the two sides of the coin very well; their introverted friend understands them so well but can destroy their world with a single sentence. Because of the first half, the latter is possible, but I'd like to think an INFJ in a healthy space won't do that. If I'm off balance or in an unhealthy space, some terribly cutting things can come out of my mouth. or more likely, I'll write something that could just reduce them to ashes.

I've never been diagnosed as clinically depressed, but I would describe life as being long bouts of melancholy along with occasional bursts of joy. And I guess that's OK.

I read your other thoughts on contacts through social media and I also go through spells where I just can't make myself email, post, respond, or anything. Not sure why. Other days, I enjoy the conversations, but I will disappear for days or weeks at a time. Some friends get it and some friends don't. I've been cut loose for it and cut others loose for not understanding.
I agree, most people primarily react, and that takes us further from humans and closer to animals. Considering cause and effect allows us to map out things in time, allows us to expect and predict them and to prepare or even avoid (or perhaps ensure). We are all subject to these dependencies, so one who pays attention will always have more control. And of course that control can be used to help or to hurt. I have also said things I've regreted, of course.

I very much resonate with your description of life - a large part of mine has been like that. I learned to live that way, but it actually changed at one point. I didn't know to expect that at the time :)

As for the "missing in action" drama - I hear you - I have also been cut loose and I've done it myself, but I don't like it happening this way. And it's starting to happen with people that I don't want to lose. The easiest thing to do is internalize this as part of me and stop adjusting to external expectations, but that would mean sacrificing my relationships to be okay and I'm not willing to do that.
 

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We are fascinating animals. We can intuit, absorb, process, create, react, distill, ruminate, analyze, plan, and love.

What happens when we have our cravings is a mixture of our past, our DNA, the moment we are in, where we are, and who we are influenced by, and so many other things.

When the sun shines on our face there are a million possible responses - enlightenment, ignorance, fear, love, it's all there.

We should help each other as best we can. That's where I'm at with this question.
 

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Absolutely!
Social media feels like being in a crowded room of people yelling, all seeking the same attention and affirmation.
It's tiring even thinking about it, isn't it? It's like advertising but personal rather than commercial. Yuck! Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way!
 
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