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What are you INFJs like under pressure, within stressful conditions? Are you truly calm, or do you maintain the appearance that everything is alright? Are those characterizations way off base? How does the answer differ, depending on your surroundings?


I'm particularly interested in how the INFJ acts under pressure in social situations? An INFJ I know irl often makes up experiences or lies just to contribute while among a group of people, and around new people is very close-mouthed. Sound familiar?
 

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Um, I think most INFJ's (at least speaking for myself) are champions of the truth.
I wouldn't be caught dead making up lies in social situations just for attention or whatever and I don't want to be around people who do that.

Under stress around my inner circle I pretty much let it show unless I am in the position of being "the rock" that other people need to lean on and I can't let them down by showing my stress.
Around strangers I keep a pretty tight lid on what's really going on. There is no need to make up lies I can find plenty to talk about with other humans and have genuine interaction without divulging my deepest darkest secrets.

INFJs may be good at putting on a mask of sorts but we are by no means fake. Even the mask is still a part of our true self.
Hope that makes sense.
 

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under pressure, under stressful situations, i give off the appearance of being calm. however, inside i know i am not. i feel greatly inhibited and feel restricted as i am internalizing the stress and obviously living in my head too much, focusing on the stress. people who know me well see that i am calm, but they notice something else is off. like i am keeping a tight lid on something .

Around new people, I am close-mouthed, if that is another way to say i am quiet. it takes me a while before i observe people and get comfortable with a group of people. i do not make up experiences or lies to contribute because i am most likely feeling too stressed out or focusing on the group dynamics. HTH
 

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Well firstoff, INFJs generally value themselves as being able to prevent conflict preemptively. It's that "behind the scenes" work that we're quite proud of.

I don't know if it's normal but I have a certain serenity when it comes to conflict... as long as I understand the situation.

In conflicts that are confusing or disorderly (Among friends and with emotions running high) I tend to freeze up and withdraw until I can find something to say. If I dont freeze up/withdraw I get too whipped up about the topic emotionally.
 

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Actually, I have never related to the common INFJ trait of appearing 'serene' even when under pressure. Most people know when I am stressed out because I usually let my emotions just flow off of me. No matter what emotion it is, I am usually open about how I feel. I only become secretive when explaining why I feel that way. Generally, I keep that to myself, which means I will in fact go as far as lying (or at least obscuring the truth) as way of keeping people out.

So when I am stressed, I usually become spacey with my thoughts. I start to loose confidence in what I am thinking, how I am feeling, and how I am behaving. My body will commonly become restless, and I might start tapping my foot or something. My tongue is the worse under stress. Though I am generally an articulate person, when I am anxious I tend to trip over my words. I might not even fully finish sentences.
I guess the root trait of my stress is lack of focus, which generally expresses itself in a very ugly form in me.

But, I am hesitant when I say this because I have begun to reign in my emotions in recent months, and I have always had the tendency to withdraw myself from social situations and appear rather cold (though I am always the most outgoing amongst my friends). Also at my place of work (where my stress levels can skyrocket), some people appear to have the impression that I am rock-solid when dealing with stress. This always confuses me, but I guess they also aren't aware of how hot my veins can begin to burn with I am either stressed, irritated, or the like. Then again, I am also more extroverted at my place of work than anywhere else in my life. As an INFJ, I do have that tendency to mask my true self from the world, so maybe how I behave at work is a mute point.
 

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What are you INFJs like under pressure, within stressful conditions? Are you truly calm, or do you maintain the appearance that everything is alright?
Great majority of people will attempt to keep their cool under pressure. Losing your mind, running around waving your arms and yelling "omgomgomg" makes no sense and doesn't help any. I don't think INFJs are any different in this respect. You're obviously observing an INFJ you know here - if you give us some more details about his or her behavior under pressure then we can provide interpretation for you.

I'm particularly interested in how the INFJ acts under pressure in social situations? An INFJ I know irl often makes up experiences or lies just to contribute while among a group of people, and around new people is very close-mouthed. Sound familiar?
How INFJ acts under pressure in social situations will depend on a whole lot of details of what kind of situation and what what kind of INFJ is involved. Both us an ENFPs can tell a colorful story. If somebody in our presence is very anal about keeping the details exactly right then yes, it may sound like a stretch of truth. So what kind of lies are we talking about here? And how do you know this person is making these things up?

Close-mouthed, yes it is a common experience for introverts to not say too much especially in company of extraverts who are talking a lot. I know that both INTJs and INFPs are classed as Declaring subtypes and that you guys have a tendency to just state things, make declarative statement as well as monologue. In comparison INFJs and INTPs who are the Asking subtype, we start conversations by asking questions or answering them, and prefer a dialogue. We do not make mini-speeches like I've noticed Declaring subtypes to do. Thus we may seem quieter in group settings.
 

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not great to be honest :) I can be pretty irritable unless I get to my personal space somewhere,I'll be fine then :)

unless disturbed in which case its like prodding Godzilla with a pointy stick
 

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There's probably not only one good answer, behaviour under stress is affected by so many other things than your MBTI type and people with same type can develop so differently too... I knew an INFJ who could be completely unable to control their emotions under pressure, especially in social situations. I, however, have always been calm to the point that others think it's creepy (Sometimes I'm actually calm inside, sometimes not, I look pretty much the same). Same types can have very different temperaments, after all.

I can see why an INFJ would make up stories to soothe other's feelings. I don't actually make up lies, but I don't mind presenting my story in a way that the other person will interpret it in the most favourable light for them, in a situations such as before tests. So, yeah, I might leave out some stuff that doesn't support my point, because if that story turns out to encourage the person so they can perform better because of it or something, I honestly wouldn't mind white lies very much, because bringing out the person's potential in that situation would be far more important for me. So, the "truth" for me in that situation would be to make the other person see their true power and will to achieve what they want. So making them forget the irrelevant stuff that makes them nervous and unable to focus is something I often try to do.

If I'm around people I don't know, I don't really take the initiative to talk to anyone. <: D Those times are actually far worse for me, because I'm in tune with their feelings, the pressuring athmosphere, but I can't really do anything to change it. So I just find the most silent corner and try to reason my nervousness away.
 

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I'm particularly interested in how the INFJ acts under pressure in social situations? An INFJ I know irl often makes up experiences or lies just to contribute while among a group of people, and around new people is very close-mouthed. Sound familiar?
Lying? I don't think it's an INFJ or non-INFJ thing. People sometimes lie. Some people lie all the time. What you've noticed is an issue of that person who perhaps just happened to be an INFJ. As others have stated, this is not something we do, I certainly don't do it. Among a group of people, I never get the "need" to contribute. I rather listen and only speak if something worth mentioning comes up. I'm not someone who randomly join conversations or even remotely interested in small talk so if I do speak with a group of people, I know them some how and they know me. I don't know if I can even lie even if I want to.

Personally I don't lie and it's not some sort of a self righteous statement. I just don't.

However among new people, I rarely open my mouth. I observe and listen so I can understand who they are. so I'm the one with the friendly smile, even when I have to make a "yes" or "no" comment.
 

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under pressure, under stressful situations, i give off the appearance of being calm. however, inside i know i am not. i feel greatly inhibited and feel restricted as i am internalizing the stress and obviously living in my head too much, focusing on the stress.
Yes, this sounds very familiar. And I hate these moments because i know I've internalized too much stress and it's going to feel horrible for couple of days till I recover.
 

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I'm usually calm during conflict, especially if its between two others and I can leverage things and help bring things to an end. If I'm in conflict, I can remain at peace if its a debate over one of my beliefs. I usually have trouble keeping cool if I am in conflict over a decision I made, that's difficult to deal with.
 

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I am not good under pressure. I have a lot of nervous energy and am high strung. My mind often goes blank.
 

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Here is an adapted lesson I learned from.. Fallout 3.. of all places.

Stress is an abstract. I try to stay focused on definable things, like the appearance of distress.

Going crazy on the outside doesn't help bring the core temperature down. Staying cool on the outside kind of does though. And it earns you badass points, of course.
 

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With a lot of stress and conflict happening right around me, I'll go along as if everything is fine, and try to completely tune out the madness going on.
To me, how I react under extreme pressure is something that others will notice and base their later judgments on me (how they see me at my best and at my worst). I'll avoid the conflict as much as all of my senses possibly can do, to the point of pretending that it isn't happening.

Part of the mask, too, is in the way I'll do anything to keep from attracting attention to myself (especially under stressful conditions).
If I'm in a crowded restaurant, and someone drops all of their silverware on the table, I'll quickly turn inward as if I'm completely oblivious to what just happened.

When there is a loud crash and clatter, everyone around you will turn to see what the commotion was, and I can literally feel a dozen sets of eyes looking at our table. For about 15 seconds, I'm pretty much not there.
 

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@PseudoSenator

Social pressure? are you talking about young ppl and social pressure? before the age of 35, ppl are more into socializing because there's no spouse and children to take up the rest of non working hours. Also, young ones can sustain energy longer and bounce back quicker from lack of sleep. Ask any middle age ppl they can't skip a few hours of sleep because it takes a week to make the tiredness go away. ;-)

For INFJs, socializing is always pressure. Naturally we want to be with a few best friends, ppl we have established rapport with and trust. But unless we want to hide out in the mountain never to meet anyone, we venture out to social functions, be them work related, family related, or social social (with acquaintances and strangers).

Ni-Fe is sensitive to group dynamics and moods. The immature INFJs may feel the pressure to "measure up" or keeping up with the topics of conversation. I used to fudge my experiences or to make claims that were not logic based in chatting socially as a 20something and 30something. It may be hard for an INTJ to understand Ni-Fe's desire to be on par in social setting. We don't want to be odd or to feel inadequate. When there's no time for Ni-Ti to process, we may succumb to pressure easily, when we are young.

It's like Ni-Te arguing vehemently about a POV in social setting, not backing down. Afterwards when having time to think about it using Ni-Fi, he/she may realize that it's over-reacting, not considerate, or failed to include some other elements in arguments.
 
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under pressure, under stressful situations, i give off the appearance of being calm. however, inside i know i am not. i feel greatly inhibited and feel restricted as i am internalizing the stress and obviously living in my head too much, focusing on the stress. people who know me well see that i am calm, but they notice something else is off. like i am keeping a tight lid on something .

Around new people, I am close-mouthed, if that is another way to say i am quiet. it takes me a while before i observe people and get comfortable with a group of people. i do not make up experiences or lies to contribute because i am most likely feeling too stressed out or focusing on the group dynamics. HTH
This is how I am with pressure whether stressful situations or in social situations
 

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Under external pressure situations I normally perform fine. For example, a ton of people cave under the pressure of taking the SAT/ACT, but for those sorts of things I just get in the zone.

However, I ALWAYS put so much anxiety/internal pressure on myself beforehand that I completely psych myself out. Before taking any teeny tiny risk I always feel terrified and simply don't trust my abilities to get it done! :C
 

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I would say I give impression of calm person. Even under great stress. But the thing is that I actually "collect" all the anger inside and then some small thing can trigger it so I lost my mind and start shouting and swearing like a crazy man. I don't think that's really nice thing to do but sometimes people leave me no choice
 

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I don't do well under pressure - tests, new social situations, whatever. Maybe that says more about me than INFJs overall because I am generally a very anxious person. I don't like telling lies in any scenario unless you consider slight exaggerations lies? Like I won't say anything blatantly false but sometimes I do make things seem a little more interesting for the sake of storytelling. I suppose part of that stems from anxiety and the need to impress someone the first time meeting them.
 
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