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I cheated on my man when we first started out. We initially met and decided to do long distance. I was going on a trip a couple months later to Thailand and he got nervous. Broke up with me on the first day I was there (he's an entp - and he was in his first year of university), and then got some check pregnant. When I heard this news my world crumbled, but I still loved him. We were talking every day when I had access to wifi but we weren't together. I was hurt but I bottled it deep deep down. Then we decided to get back together and we were still doing long distance. I was working and he was in school and I was waiting to get accepted to my school. And right before he came back I went to a small get together with girls. Needless to say I got really wasted and in the back of my head I kept saying to myself why am I doing this and trying to stop myself but I still did it. I had "sex" with a girl. And after I felt like a pile of shit. I obviously told him when he got back a few days later to visit and he didn't know how to react as it was a girl first of all, and second he never expected anything like that from me. I was half expecting to be kicked out and left behind forever and half wanting him to just forgive me but knowing I didn't deserve it. But we've stayed together since. And I didn't know why I did it. The only reason I came up with that makes sense is like some fucked up retaliation on my part for how he hurt me because I never dealt with it, and when I tried to talk to him about it he would tell me I should have been over it by now, etc etc. That doesn't make it right, no. But knowing me and my morals and how I've never ever ever cheated on anyone else, that's the only reason I can come up with. And I absolutely hate myself because of it.
By the way, if you're wondering were still together and working on things and I'm moving to be with him soon. I just want to know if anyone else who is an infj has ever done anything so terrible to the one they love. And what was the reason? How do u forgive yourself?
 

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I have never cheated. It is very much against my morals and values system, trust, loyalty, respect of others emotions and perspective, etc. That doesn't mean that I am a ray of sunshine though. I have been shallow before in the sense that when I didn't feel a connection anymore, I ended things abruptly and left people without much explanation (I'm not good at explaining myself verbally, my thoughts and feelings etc, so to others things happen unexpectedly.)

I have been cheated on quite a bit though, probably because of my modesty, stubbornness, and lack of communication. I've since learned from these though and have been in a great marriage to an INTJ for 4 years. I always dated extroverts who ended up being self-centered pricks that got bored with me. My INTJ and I understand each other on a deeper level, its awesome. We both have our flaws though, of course, but we understand those too.

I'm straying from the point though. I have never cheated and never will. I can't go against my morals, or I'd really lose myself and I don't think I could handle that. It doesn't mean I haven't had those kinds of thoughts before though in certain relationships, which of course made me feel extremely guilty. And as soon as thoughts would arise, I'd know the relationship (at least on my part) was damaged, then it would be up to me whether or not I wanted to fix it or not.
 

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I cheated on my man when we first started out. We initially met and decided to do long distance. I was going on a trip a couple months later to Thailand and he got nervous. Broke up with me on the first day I was there (he's an entp - and he was in his first year of university), and then got some check pregnant. When I heard this news my world crumbled, but I still loved him. We were talking every day when I had access to wifi but we weren't together. I was hurt but I bottled it deep deep down. Then we decided to get back together and we were still doing long distance. I was working and he was in school and I was waiting to get accepted to my school. And right before he came back I went to a small get together with girls. Needless to say I got really wasted and in the back of my head I kept saying to myself why am I doing this and trying to stop myself but I still did it. I had "sex" with a girl. And after I felt like a pile of shit. I obviously told him when he got back a few days later to visit and he didn't know how to react as it was a girl first of all, and second he never expected anything like that from me. I was half expecting to be kicked out and left behind forever and half wanting him to just forgive me but knowing I didn't deserve it. But we've stayed together since. And I didn't know why I did it. The only reason I came up with that makes sense is like some fucked up retaliation on my part for how he hurt me because I never dealt with it, and when I tried to talk to him about it he would tell me I should have been over it by now, etc etc. That doesn't make it right, no. But knowing me and my morals and how I've never ever ever cheated on anyone else, that's the only reason I can come up with. And I absolutely hate myself because of it.
By the way, if you're wondering were still together and working on things and I'm moving to be with him soon. I just want to know if anyone else who is an infj has ever done anything so terrible to the one they love. And what was the reason? How do u forgive yourself?
What worries me the most is that how did you forgive HIM for breaking up with you when you traveled and got someone pregnant? ???
 
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I was "with" a guy that I pretty much cheated on. We didn't consider ourselves an item at that point, and it was long-distance, but it was still awful of me to do what I did.

While I definitely had a connection with him, I didn't necessarily have an attraction to him, which was something that finally hit me after I cheated. I ended what was between us shortly after that because I realized that it wasn't fair for either of us to be in that kind of relationship.

The above was a big contributing factor, but I was also struggling with depression at the time, and that pushed me toward being very Se-centric. I would pretty much go for anything that would get me away from my negative thoughts or the "nothing" feeling that I was so afraid of. There was this really shitty, psychopathic ISTP guy who wanted a FWB relationship with me, and I had pushed him away in order to be with the INTJ (the guy I cheated on). I had resolved to just stay away from him, but he didn't like that idea so much. He told me that if the INTJ wasn't going to come down and fight for me, then he didn't really care, so he kept on hitting on me and making moves as if nothing had changed (I couldn't really avoid him because he was a coworker).

One day I just decided to be an idiot and ride to work with him. When we got back home, he got pretty aggressive with me and got to third base. It was my first time ever going that far with anyone, and I felt paralyzed. Even so, there's more that I could have done to get him away from me (ideally, I shouldn't have put myself in that situation to begin with).

I felt like an absolute wretch, and I was also pretty shaken up by what the ISTP had done to me (as I said, he had gotten quite aggressive, as he was wont to do). I confessed to the INTJ the same day that it happened. He was understandably pissed, but he was also forgiving. But, as I said, it taught me that attraction is a vital component to a relationship. If you don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're frequently tempted to hurt someone in that way, then make sure that you're actually attracted to them. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not putting the blame for my actions on that factor. I should have been honest and just broken it off with him before I did something like that, or maybe I shouldn't have jumped into that relationship to begin with.

I was a pretty awful person back then, and I'm glad to say that everyone who knew me on a deeper level at that time tells me that I've changed dramatically since then. I'm in a very happy relationship with an ENFP who I feel a very strong connection with, and I'm definitely attracted to him. I don't see myself doing something like that again.
 

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Nope. Never. And I guess I simply couldn't. :-/
 

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I had when I was married.

The marriage was pretty much non existent and sexless. I was miserable. This guy I met via work function wore down my resistance. He was quite taken with me and wanted to put me up. However, things happened in my life so I cut ties with him. Around the same time I found out my ex was also cheating on me. At the end of the day, his cheating was made public (not by me, by his gf's husband) and my cheating nobody knew to this day.

Do I feel bad or guilty? Not really because I never loved my ex to begin with (I married him because he's the only one who ever asked to marry, to this day). In my mind, it wasn't cheating, just letting someone love me.
 
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