My fraternal twin sister is an INFJ. She is one of the few people in the world that I will say I love unconditionally and would risk my life for. I love her to pieces. Yet, I have to watch myself and make sure I don't "push her buttons" when she is getting emotional and we are debating (or, as she calls it "fighting"). I can and have deeply upset her before because for me, the debate and being logical is important, and I will and can hurt her. Later, when I analyze everything, I know what I did and regret her being upset, but by then damage has already been done so I try very hard to remember she is an INFJ and the behavior that annoys me is not her trying to annoy me, and that some of my INTP traits annoy her (she will tell me I am a shit disturber and "deliberately contrary" for instance, terms I don't agree with, but I can see why INFJs might view us like that). I also notice that when I am brutally honest and share my weaknesses with her, she sometimes ignores them if she doesn't want to face the issue, and that bugs me.
I think if she wasn't my twin and we didn't have such a close bond, she would have ditched me long ago.

roud: I have to keep remembering that being right and winning an argument is not necessarily worth upsetting someone if that person ends up getting really upset. Unfortunately, what upsets a lot of people is not what I find upsetting, so it's not instinctual for me.
2 of the 3 people in my life that I am closest to are INFJs, actually (my twin sister and a really good guy friend I have) and my other friend claims she is an INTP, but she seems close but I think she could just as easily be an INTJ. When she makes up her mind it stays much more MADE UP than mine does, but she is also 21 years older than me. She also works in customer relations, trouble shooting computer problems, and I would go stark raving looney toons trouble-shooting computer problems all day and dealing with people who do things like using the CD-ROM drive as a "coffee cup holder".
I can see why INFJs might bug INTPs, though. :laughing: I can also see why INFJs might find us INTPs "inconsiderate" and "argumentative" (fictional INTPs imo: Sam Winchester from "Supernatural", Luke Skywalker from Star Wars, that little kid David from "AI: Aritifical Intelligence).... wait... who thinks Teddy from AI might be an INTP?
Also, when I am annoyed with her I tend to call her an "emo" and a "crybaby" and a "suck up" (especially when I was a kid) and when she is mad at me she calls me a "shit disturber" and a "trouble maker"- the amusing thing is, she seems to take offense at what I call her, but I don't really care if she thinks I am a trouble maker or a shit disturber. I don't think I am and I know she is annoyed with me, but even if she really thought I was both of those things... I wouldn't really care.