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I actually fall in love with everyone I meet.
However, I have never technically been in love. I feel like every relationship whether it be platonic or romantic is extremely one sided. Everyone talks about their problems and their life. I love hearing about them, and I love them as people so much. I think to be in love though, one needs that mutual understanding, and I guess it's mostly my fault, but people never know me; I am hesitant to show others who I am. People will tell me they love me, and I can't understand why because they know absolutely nothing about me. I think that people just love how I make them feel inside. It makes me feel sad and lonely. It's like I'm talking to this person, but it seems more like I'm an observer than a participant. Does this make sense because I feel like I'm rambling.

Love does seem like an extremely beautiful thing though. I still have a lot of life ahead of me. I think I'll eventually find someone that I connect with.

I apologize that I can't completely answer your question.
 

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Fu Dominant
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My first love and I met nearly... 12 years ago now? Has it been that long? *sigh* All I really have left are fond nostalgic memories of her. No real details, unfortunately. We were only together for... close to a year, maybe.

She loved the scent of lavender. She had red hair. She was the first person probably in my entire life to show me what true love could really be. At the time, she pretty much was the embodiment of love to me. What lessons were learned? All the good ones worth learning, that's for sure.

Why did it end? She eventually fell for someone else, and we talked about it, and me being young and stupid and naive, I didn't fight to keep her. I told her she should follow her heart and have no regrets. And so, we parted ways so she could be with him. *shrug* I hold no ill will. She did what she thought was best, and looking back, I agree. I was a noob at the whole relationship thing. She wasn't. We probably weren't nearly as compatible as I would have hoped for.

That doesn't mean we didn't love each other, or that I still don't hold a special place in my heart for her though. To me, she will always be love. Maybe she was my soulmate and things went awry. Maybe she wasn't. I've had loves since. But none were like her.

*quietly soaks in the rays of nostalgia*
 

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What made you fall for that person?
can't really explain that feeling though. you know it was like when you first laid your eyes on someone and all that feelings rush into you...

Why did the relationship end?
I found out that she has depression, I tried hard to help her, I didn't leave her lonely and tried to make her laugh but she would just burst out crying for no reason and I wasn't happy in the relationship. after that we talk less, we didn't see each other for days then suddenly one day she shown up, telling me she was going on a date with another person...

How do you feel about that person today?
we are still talking to each other, just a small talk once in a while. I'm happy for her though. but once in a while I will think of her and feel sad that I can't have her anymore.

What lessons were learned?
1. think before getting into a relationship.
2. do not get into a relationship who you just met for less than 3 months.
 

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We met on the internet, she lived several states away. We were basic friends for a year, nothing close. Then she started acting like she liked me. And we got closer, and I was reeled in. She was mysterious, and dark, and sexy, and creative, and thrilling, and artsy. She would work on her car and then manage to look amazingly girly. She was cute and intriguing, enigmatic, and caused my young heart to chase. She was flawed and troubled and I ate that up.

She was also an amazing actor, or I was an amazing fool (my money is on both).

I saved up hundreds of dollars, and took a plane trip out to her. that was when I met the other guy, the real reason she had strung me along. she did not let on to the truth during the trip, but I knew inside. i stayed a week. when i got home, it was not a week later that she called it off. I then learned that she was after him the entire time, and only used me to make him jealous.

Not that I am a catch and could make someone jealous like that, but she let him know that she can have anyone she wants, and can wrap them so tightly around her finger that they will spend all their money just to fly out and spend time with her.

I learned a few days later from one of her friends (who thankfully had a conscious) that the last several months of my life was a farce, a canard, a gambit.
 

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My first love and I met nearly... 12 years ago now? Has it been that long? *sigh* All I really have left are fond nostalgic memories of her. No real details, unfortunately. We were only together for... close to a year, maybe.

She loved the scent of lavender. She had red hair. She was the first person probably in my entire life to show me what true love could really be. At the time, she pretty much was the embodiment of love to me. What lessons were learned? All the good ones worth learning, that's for sure.

Why did it end? She eventually fell for someone else, and we talked about it, and me being young and stupid and naive, I didn't fight to keep her. I told her she should follow her heart and have no regrets. And so, we parted ways so she could be with him. *shrug* I hold no ill will. She did what she thought was best, and looking back, I agree. I was a noob at the whole relationship thing. She wasn't. We probably weren't nearly as compatible as I would have hoped for.

That doesn't mean we didn't love each other, or that I still don't hold a special place in my heart for her though. To me, she will always be love. Maybe she was my soulmate and things went awry. Maybe she wasn't. I've had loves since. But none were like her.

*quietly soaks in the rays of nostalgia*
When I fell in love the first time, I felt I found the man who could reside within my soul.

It was (and is) a heartbreaking experience... I don't know if I could ever love anyone like that again.
Jesus . . . this kind of stuff reifies my worst interpersonal nightmare before my eyes. It absolutely scares the turd nuggets out of me.

Nope. No thanks. Not playing. Can't handle it.
 

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Fu Dominant
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Jesus . . . this kind of stuff reifies my worst interpersonal nightmare before my eyes. It absolutely scares the turd nuggets out of me.

Nope. No thanks. Not playing. Can't handle it.
Yeah... funny thing about love. You can run and you can hide. But it'll find you anyway, sooner or later. My last relationship ended because my SO at the time had an affair with a co-worker, and then boasted about it to mutual friends of ours on top of it. I was done with love after that. I still haven't been in a relationship since then, and that was practically a decade ago now.

That doesn't mean love isn't still chasing me, or in some respects, I'm not still chasing it. Life isn't full of guarantees. Sure, you can find yourself heartbroken when a relationship goes sour. But who says it's gonna go sour? And who says the heartbreak isn't worth the experience?

That's just my take, anyway. I may never end up in romance again for all I know, but despite the trouble I've had with previous attempts, it was all still worth it. To me, love is what makes life worth living. It's just that these days, my love focus has shifted a bit from romance to friendships and such. Not that romance isn't still an option, but after a decade without it, it's not exactly top priority, lol.
 

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t despite the trouble I've had with previous attempts, it was all still worth it. To me, love is what makes life worth living.
It is through love that I feel I find my soul... for me, love is completely a spiritual/religious experience.

Have you read Sufi poetry? So spiritual, and so much of it is about love. Hafiz, Rumi... amazing stuff.

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”
-Rumi

THIS is what I live for. But it's also the most vulnerable place in the universe.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi
 

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Oh we were so young LOL. It was a wonderful but one-sided affair and she eventually moved on to a man she said was more 'challenging'. (she meant better-looking but heigh ho! = that's why I found the 'Dangerous men' thread on here so interesting.) She had 3 children with him, and was the last one to find out he was bonking everything that moved including several of her friends. They broke up, she to raise the children, he to be with a younger version of her....who probably wanted a chellenging man!


I met her a while back and she said she treated me badly and should have stayed with me! I'd like to think I was gracious!
 
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Oh we were so young LOL. It was a wonderful but one-sided affair and she eventually moved on to a man she said was more 'challenging'. (she meant better-looking but heigh ho! = that's why I found the 'Dangerous men' thread on here so interesting.) She had 3 children with him, and was the last one to find out he was bonking everything that moved including several of her friends. They broke up, she to raise the children, he to be with a younger version of her....who probably wanted a chellenging man!


I met her a while back and she said she treated me badly and should have stayed with me! I'd like to think I was gracious!
Sometimes I wonder how much of it is strictly biological - the woman's search for the strongest, most aggressive men to have babies with.

Susan Sarandon, upon breaking up with Tim Robbins, said something to the effect of, "Maybe the men we are meant to grow old with are not the men we are meant to have babies with."
 

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Sometimes I wonder how much of it is strictly biological - the woman's search for the strongest, most aggressive men to have babies with.

Susan Sarandon, upon breaking up with Tim Robbins, said something to the effect of, "Maybe the men we are meant to grow old with are not the men we are meant to have babies with."
It is similar in nature. The difference is male animals don't stick around to raise the littl'uns....and in many cases (though not all) neither do the aggressive alpha male humans. They are aggressive and assertive, but they aren't strong - at least not in any meaningful way.
 

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What made you fall for that person?
there was a fragility inside him... misted over by copious amounts of charm, wit, funny and nice. his bravery and morality outshone his flaws, and even his flaws endeared me to him. and oh, his ambition.
he embarked on an adventure, an adventure very attractive to an INFJ; a personal voyage to self-actualisation.

Why did the relationship end?
he wasn't brave or nice anymore, and he stopped dreaming and started drinking.

How do you feel about that person today?
ambivalent. i grieve more who he could've been than who he became in the end.

we are no longer speaking.

What lessons were learned?
people change. everybody lies. trust no-one. it wasn't a lesson as much as a reminder.
 
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