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i was talking with my girlfriends today and i recognized a pattern (they are estp/enfj/enfp btw), anyway with all three of them, when they are really invested in someone whether they really like someone (pre-dating btw, not talking about crushes but when they liked someone and it developed into something bigger) or are dating them in a serious relationship.... they get more focused and less social. for example, they will get more "focused" on just a few important ppl/things in their life (significant other, school, work, a few good friends, etc). because of this, with some of these friends, theyve complained to me that they realized when they got into a relationship, they made the mistake of not remaining in touch with other ppl in their social network. recently my ENFJ friend broke up with her ex and she was telling me how she lost touch with so many good friends and lost opportunity to meet good ppl, so she's working hard at reconnecting with ppl, me included lol... even though she doesnt say ME directly

For me, this is the opposite! when i am pre-dating or dating haha..... i find myself more social and flourishing in my personal relationships/social networks. i mean, i am obviously still focused on school, work, but for some reason, socializing just comes more naturally during that time, i seem to draw energy from ppl, and i just become a social butterfly :). i still dedicate myself to my school, work, significant other, a few good friends, but i find myself more balanced because i am expending myself more in socializing. it's like i feel inspired by the emotions i feel and i relay this back out to the world haha is this just me or does anyone else relate?!?!
 

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Eeeeeeee. for me... not so much. If I like someone(like fallin' hard type), I'll isolate myself to priorities like religion, school etc, and will devote all of my social time to them... :bored:
 

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I believe this is indeed the case. When you are crushing on someone your feeling get activated. Feelings are what lets are bond with other people, they are what gives us internal sense of value in other people. So when you're walking about with your head up in the clouds from latest crush and your feelings going into overdrive then you're likely to be positively reacting to all other people as well, being more nice and social and open to new friendships and more quickly forget any transgressions committed against you by others.

This is contrary to what happens during break-up. During break-up the logical function spikes. This is because to break-up with someone you need to devalue them and place more worth on yourself. Commonly during break-ups you will hear people saying some rather negative things about each other and suddenly every little offense their partner committed in past comes up to the surface. Thus after break-ups people may also be prone to pushing others away, and this is the reason most of us give space of a couple of months before starting to date new people.
 

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For me, this is the opposite! when i am pre-dating or dating haha..... i find myself more social and flourishing in my personal relationships/social networks. i mean, i am obviously still focused on school, work, but for some reason, socializing just comes more naturally during that time, i seem to draw energy from ppl, and i just become a social butterfly :). i still dedicate myself to my school, work, significant other, a few good friends, but i find myself more balanced because i am expending myself more in socializing. it's like i feel inspired by the emotions i feel and i relay this back out to the world haha is this just me or does anyone else relate?!?!
Eeeeeeee. for me... not so much. If I like someone(like fallin' hard type), I'll isolate myself to priorities like religion, school etc, and will devote all of my social time to them... :bored:
I think both of this is true for me in a way. My social life gets much better, but I might also neglect some things. However, the latter is not as true as it has been.

...hmmm...but being married everything has improved for me anyway...
 

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i have to say, in the single serious relationship i had, i was more confident in myself, more talkative in class, and met a whole bunch of new people. that being said... i spent 24/7 with mah girl =D no one else haha
 

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I read online somewhere that INFJ's need to be in a relationship to be normal.
LOL...yeah, that's how I feel it is. :crazy:

Where did you read that? :happy:
 

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I was looking for it after I posted that, but I couldn't find it. But I usually have a good memory about what I've read. Not that my word counts for much...

EDIT:

http://www.personality-power-for-everyday-living.com/Compatibility-test-infj.html

Here is the INFJ way. You will see the many and varied personality traits that INFJs naturally show as they relate to others. If you are an INFJ let this self-knowledge help and guide you in your marriage and family life. If you are in relationship
with an INFJ allow the wonder of what you learn here to guide your understanding of and responses to how INFJs behave.

If you’re not sure of your MBTI type take the Myers Briggs test here. Then come back and go to the type page for your type and learn.

Myers-Briggs “Compatibility Test” Results-INFJ Personality Traits

* The INFJ will need support and verbal support from their mate. Criticism is death to the INFJ type.
* The INFJ believes they <>know well almost everything, have difficulty seeing otherwise.
* The INFJ may not openly show/verbalize the extremely deep feelings they may have.
* INFJs typically enjoy idealized settings, they may revisit a first date
venue, first kiss, marriage proposal site, etc…be disappointed if mate does not see the benefit of such activity.
* The INFJ needs relationship. They can be quick to begin one that is not good just to have one, then quickly change when the “real thing” is found.
* At times, the INFJ can probe too deeply in relationship, looking for hidden meaning, not knowing their mate is irritated by such probing.
* The INFJ can be among, perhaps is, the most stubborn of all the types. INFJ is very patient but when time has run out they will write one off forever.
* This type will bond deeply with children, try to be their friend.
* Will have a potentially rich fantasy life.
* Very affectionate at their own time and in their own way.
 

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Don't worry. Same here. So I believe you. :proud:
 

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I've never been in a relationship, I'm certainly not normal :confused:
I doubt I would become more social, I would be so consumed by that person *shudders*
 

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Depends on what kind of person my BF is. I definitely think being in a relationship would give me more confidence to be more open (ideally), but I can also see both of us locking ourselves away from the world probing each others brains, which we will call 'relating'.

We'll have to wait until I've actually been in a few relationships to be sure.
 

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I can't say for sure but at times I am required to socialize with people I can do it well in the beginning and then find myself utterly drained after a while. I was wondering if I can build stamina into this?
 

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@charles.qingneng I've found, the trick to the socializing adventure is to find friends who can be your energy for you, and you can be their solidity when they need it. Also, make sure they are independent enough to be fine when you need to use a cloak of invisibility for a few minutes :tongue:
@ertertwert I think you've got the right idea, but perhaps adjust the fine print so that other relationships, not just romantic ones, are capable of filling the space. For example, I don't date someone who I can't have a fantastic relationship with. Instead, I fill the space with spectacular friendships, until the right one comes along...and during/past the right one as well ;)
 

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I think INFJs sometimes focus too much on the possibility of a romantic relationship that we tend to forget about the beauty found in simple friendships. These can be healthy and fulfilling as well.

I've only had a few "serious" relationships in my life, and in the ones that were healthy, I did feel more complete. Our need to sacrifice and lift up others is magnified when we are in a romantic relationship. That's why we must choose so very carefully who we give ourselves to because most people will take advantage and take us for granted.
 
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