[Ntuitive]

People generally tend to see me as nice and someone who would never do anything mean or weird. But sometimes I just do mean and weird things that surprise people. For example I'll be having a conversation with someone that goes into a topic that I feel strongly about and then all of a sudden I'm expressing extremely negative opinions and I just keep going. There are hidden aspects of my personality that sometimes come out and surprise people. One time someone in public insulted a shirt I was wearing that meant something to me (I don't know why he felt like he needed to do this) and I started cussing at him and my friend I was with was really shocked and afraid. Another time I was angry and rammed my head into a window and shattered it. Who does that?

Have I become the INFJ who makes a thread thinking they're just a weird INFJ?
Or has anyone else just done a bunch of weird and mean things that confuse other people?

 

[mue]

You're not alone. There are times I can get unbelievably angry, especially at rude people like the guy who insulted your t-shirt. I don't scream at them though. because i'm usually too puzzeld when I'm insulted out of a clear sky :0
There are also some situations with my ESTJ twin brother. He has the terribly arrogant way to talk to me like to an insane moron when we get into an argument. He knows that makes me explode and i WILL behave like an insane moron as a result. In situations like that i could shatter worlds. Also if people make rude, superficial jokes at other peoples cost. Hawr. Actually i get nuts a lot. I guess most of the problems we INFJs have are with rudeness. we just don't understand it. we love harmony so much, we can totally lose our cool if somebody attacks it. jej! ironic!

sorry for eventual grammar-mistakes. that's not my mothertounge Hi to everyone by the way. I'm new.

 

[geekofalltrades]

I definitely am easy to set off on any of a handful of hot-button issues that I hold close to my heart. Just look at some of the posts I've made in the debate and sex & relationships forums; abortion is one of the easiest to provoke me on, and it comes up all the time. I burn low and intense, though, rather than exploding. If you piss me off, prepare to have every facet of your ignorant persona dismantled and ridiculed.

I've had the shirt thing happen, too, lol. It's a bright neon-green t-shirt that my brother made for a vision walk fundraiser (he has type II usher syndrome, which means he's slowly going deaf-blind), and someone said, "wow, that is an UGLY shirt."

"Thanks!" I replied with brittle brightness, "It's to raise awareness for my brother's degenerative genetic deaf-blindess!"

 

[CptKickerCutleg]

I've done it once or twice in highschool when I was about 12-13ish.
Some idiots were running up and slamming themselves against a crowd of people trying to get through a small corridor, so I dumped my bag on the floor and went at them in a red fury, I remember the tech teacher grabbing me by the shoulders and dragging me into a separate room before I seriously hurt them :/

Other than that, yes, I have my explosive triggers, but they don't get violent anymore, just verbal.

 

[WIPerspective]

For me, it's hard to turn me off. But sometimes, it depends on the situation we're in. If we're really (and I mean really) stressed out, we develop our shadow functions, and one of those shadow functions happen to be Te (extroverted thinking) which is where we become the "aggressive, mean and logical" person. In case you're wondering why you feel guilty or angry after you've exploded your emotions, I think it's because you used a shadow function. Under normal circumstances, we have Ti (introverted thinking) which is where we're "cool, reserved, and have a withdrawn toughness". In other words, we wouldn't get as mad as easily because of our auxiliary function (Fe) which hates conflict, and we try not to get into conflict in general. Fe is a function that wants everyone to be happy and kept in peace. Even if it hurts us ourselves.

I have gotten mad. Especially at my little brother. I am a high school student, and we're talking about high school here. It's a helluva lotta work. So when my teachers bomb me with loads of HW that seems to be impossible to finish in one night, I start developing my shadow functions (functions you do not want in your life at all). I did this one night and my little brother was asking for help on his HW (he's in elementary school). I ended up acting like the biggest bully that night because I kept screaming at him and saying he was wasting my time and that he was stupid because he couldn't figure it out for himself. My INFP mom got mad at me for it, and then I simmered down later on, realizing I had just acted like a frickin' diva. LOL

 

[Lost in Oblivion]

The reason it surprises people is because it's not expected. You, like many other people, have general patterns of behavior - in your case, it's being unassuming, not outspoken...then one thing sets you off and the quiet, unassuming kid is tearing people apart. It's the same thing with the opposite case: no one expects the douchey asshole barking at everyone to have a heart of gold. It's just a different reaction in that case. Really, though it's not weird at all.

I don't think I surprise people with my character because I try not to hide it...people are confused when they find I'm a very quiet person at first. That's about it. Otherwise, I've surprised some people by being overly emotional in one direction or the other - when they see that I am deeply affected by something, and how deep, it's almost a shock. But for the most part, yeah, I try to make all aspects of my character clear.

 

[The Beauty of Storm]

Yup... I randomly explode like that too. Usually it's over pretty inconsequential things and apparently I've just been keeping it in for too long. It's a straw on an INFJ's back. Having someone around I can just vent to on occasion helps a lot because then I don't store it up for one massive cracking explosion.
I've only screamed a handful of times: when a little kid was falling down the stairs and all the rest were fiery explosions like this... All those blatantly honest thoughts that you never speak, even to yourself but your subconscious knows quite well.

 

[Zech]

You're not alone. There are times I can get unbelievably angry, especially at rude people like the guy who insulted your t-shirt. I don't scream at them though. because i'm usually too puzzeld when I'm insulted out of a clear sky :0
There are also some situations with my ESTJ twin brother. He has the terribly arrogant way to talk to me like to an insane moron when we get into an argument. He knows that makes me explode and i WILL behave like an insane moron as a result. In situations like that i could shatter worlds. Also if people make rude, superficial jokes at other peoples cost. Hawr. Actually i get nuts a lot. I guess most of the problems we INFJs have are with rudeness. we just don't understand it. we love harmony so much, we can totally lose our cool if somebody attacks it. jej! ironic!

sorry for eventual grammar-mistakes. that's not my mothertounge Hi to everyone by the way. I'm new.

Welcome mue.

You can also introduce yourself in the Intro thread if you wish Intro

BTW I understood your post fine.

 

[Lady Nurture]

Is it strange I felt a surge of my Shadow just today, in attempting to explain close to two years of uneasiness about the future to a parent? When I'm about to access the "basement dwelling" of my Shadow, it feels like my chest caves in and what's rearing up is going to eat through me as it gnashes its jaws and comes bounding out to attack someone else.
I've had a few Shining moments, particularly in 7th and 8th grade and a few times throughout high school, and stupidly over text message. These instances had to do with putting a manipulator, bully or false friend in their place.
Usually, if I find time to vent to someone, the hell tornado won't swoop into town, but these days it is unavoidable for me to be bumping elbows and rubbing shoulders with all of my negative emotions. Between lack of financial security and so many other things being put on pause, it's no wonder I'm feeling like Nicholson. In fact, any day now I'm going to bellow, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
It's actually TRUE for me; how many people can handle our truths, worries, never-ending concerns? Even worse, what if we don't take a chance in trying to reach out anyway?
My Shadow's more difficult now that I've realized I crave mental stimulation and it's only recently I've come to understand my mind doesn't readily enjoy or feel satisfied with just survival of the day to day. Life isn't just survival; it's a full body experience, perpetual, ever changing, beautiful.
My Shadow rebels at the notion of stagnation or self-denial; it's true, I want more than anything to be fulfilled in my life and I know I have the power to do it. Waiting is not conducive to this!
All of these things (and also fearing falling into a routine that doesn't allow for much socialization, fresh air, etc.) can lead to my Shadow coming out for a holiday.

 

[Saki]

I read the title of this thread and thought "Yes? May I help you?". I cannot stand being mean, cruel, profane, or dramatic... and yet I've been known to do all four just for shock value.

 

[LadyD]

I have a rather active "shadow." I've become very aware of it, though through most of my early 20s, I functioned predominantly from the position of some alternate personality.

During this time, I acted out in ways that were uncharacteristic and unhealthy.

The worst was getting stuck in these onslaughts of traumatic childhood memories, of not knowing how to respond to them, feeling caught in the wave of recollection, the associated emotions, and essentially having emotional meltdowns in response. It was a feeling of being over-taken. In the grips of some of these experiences, I wasn't able to respond to what was actually happening around me because I was so stuck in the re-experiencing of these things that had happened, even though I had consciously put these things quite out of my mind for years.

The progress of this mental process was enormously self-destructive.

Something that was useful was learning to use artistic outlets to carry on a dialogue with this "shadow." As such, my writing (and other art) is rather dark and profane. It puts me in charge, though I do find that more difficult with increasing stress.

It's something I quite honestly feel ashamed of.

 

[StElmosDream]

Well most things tend not to bother me that much, aside from infantilising when others know I can do something well and people crossing my personal space-free time boundaries when I have told them already that day or just a few minutes before that my needs exist in that moment.

 

[shoshanna]

I used to feel very angry when I was younger, and it was like I was so angry but I couldn't show the anger and then it just would all come out at once. I've never done anything as drastic as ramming my head into a window, but have occasionally self harmed by scratching my arms and pulling my hair out. Now I have moved out of my parents home, I have a lot more space to think about my feelings, and like to process my thoughts through writing in my diary or sitting quietly reading a novel, or cleaning my home and trying to make life as pleasant as possible. I think simple pleasure's are important as well, a cup of coffee or the feeling of sunlight on one's face. I know it sounds hippyish but things like that help me so much.

I intensely dislike people being cruel, and unsympathetic, and will stick up for people, and I never join in people being making fun of others. I have in the past and felt such feelings of shame.

 

[laura palmer]

I have loads of internal anger. usually when things dont meet my internal code of conduct, I feel violated and thus feel angery. Like right now I am really angry because my dance teacher wants us to spend 150$ on hair extensions and new shoes, and I dont want to fucking do that. If someone is ever rude to me I get super angery for days too.

 

[Ninibear]

I try not to lash out when I'm angry but sometimes I just can't help it, especially when someone's being unreasonable.

Once an acquaintance was being irritating even though I asked him to stop doing whatever he was doing, so I smashed a laptop over his head. I didn't want to do it, but I somehow did. I broke my laptop and had to pay $200 to get it fixed, and the guy said he wasn't hurt, but his friend hold me he had a headache for 3 days or something.

Another time, I was walking home and a couple of strangers from their balcony were yelling out to and mocking some Asian girl in a racist way, and on an impulse I yelled at them, "F*** off, racists!"

I also start talking really angrily and loudly when people don't listen to me while I am trying to help them upon their request. People would ask me to tutor them in a certain subject, and halfway through they wouldn't even be listening.

 

[FearAndTrembling]

People are unaware of what they do. I am actually very observant, and nobody is doing what they should. Sometimes, it just erupts. When I bitch somebody out, I feel as I have not even scratched the surface of what they did to me. So they are gonna get it all. They are every person who pisssed me off. And I can ever quite articulate how stupid they are. I can never make it quite thorough enough. But I honestly enjoy making bad people feel bad, and give it my all.

Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.

 

[AriesLilith]

Yes, you are not alone. And what if we have internal anger or get mean sometimes? INFJs are humans too.

I used to be conflict avoidant with strangers or people with whom I'm not too familiar/comfortable with, and I used to not know how to react to conflicting situations (which made me regret later, for not standing for myself), but I guess that I've been improving on this by being more ready to stand for myself if conflicts happens. In the past months, there were times where some strangers have been rude to me and I actually fought back by being mean too (not too mean but just to get the message across, like replying to rude comment or throwing a "not so happy with what you did" judgmental look ). In some times I second guesed myself (Ni asking myself "what if I'm wrong?"), but I decided to have more confidence in myself. The only times I would still avoid conflicts is if the other person seem dangerous, or is an old person (I'm more forgiving with old people).

Aside of learning to stand for myself, I also learned to share my emotions and express them with friends and loved ones, to vent about things. I used to not do it in the past, but having learned to trust in others actually helps me feel better.


So basically, by learning how to express or respond instead of repressing is what helps with my internal anger.

 

[dai]

Well...

That side is the one I supress the most.

I feel alienated when it emerges...

But some ppl... deserve no better

 

[Contemplation]

In my words it would sound like


Feeling mistreated by someone is just the start
Struggling inside is our part

Holding back anger will haunt you some day
You better deal with it right away

Settling the problem clears your head
Don't let the negative thoughts spread

Once your patience burns out,
You'll lash out


The song "Bottled Up Inside" by Korn sounds like this

...
I'll take this time
To let out what’s inside
Cuz I will break
Sometimes I wish you'd die
Full of sorrow
You raped and stole my pride.
And all this hate is bottled up inside
...

 

[melina]

...left the quote out by mistake..