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Discussion Starter #1
So I'm surrounded (I think) by xxxPs. Loads of them. How do I know this? Because they're usually my friends :p The most 'J' person I know is my mother. I've noticed, because of this, that now whenever I make plans I always make sure they're flexible, somewhat adaptable. I believe it's because I'm surrounded by xxxPs and for me to get on, I've got to get wit 'em.Before you say 'you're probably an INFP' I've planned my life for the next 20 years with intense details. I divulge into other Judging behaviour...but usually when it concerns me alone and only. Is this possible? Also, your experiences?
 

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My plans are pretty perceiver-like just because I recognize it was a easier, and that certain things aren't that important(but yet I can be so OCD-like) . The people who go with the flow more seem to be happier and less stressed, I adopted that way of thinking because I thought it made more sense for most situations.
You can't and don't have to plan everything.
 

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especially , there is a factor time . You can plan what you want and the big trend you want, (for exemple I'd like to have this kind of carrerr in 5 years, and in 10 years I like this and then ... ) . But there is what I call the factor time , that mean there is some information that won't come when it s time hasn't come. If you knew this kind of information before , you would probably integrated in your plan, because it s an important aspect of your life. Unfortunatly you didn't know it before, so can't take into account. For my part, I plan 10 years generally , and it s enough ;). Because of factor time. You are planning thing based on the information you have right now, but new info will come and maybe change totally how you planned things.
I 'm always assuming that there is something I don't know (and it s the way it is. unfortunatly I'm not god hahah ) , so I'm open to change my plan, not my aim but the way my plan will fit with the reality.
 

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I've planned my life for the next 20 years with intense details.
I cannot imagine doing that. Just the thought of trying to do that stresses me out. How on earth can you (or anyone) believe that you can have so much control over the external world (other people, external events etc) that you can plan with such detail so far into your future? Seems pretty linear to me ... kind of Te, actually. (But I could be wrong on the Te thing.)

I continue to question the whole J versus P approach to typing for introverts, even if the wonderful descriptions from @LadyD illuminated some of the powerful and useful nuances.
 

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Yep, I've definitely done this with xxxPs. As I've been hanging out with some of them more. They just don't make plans and so I make sure I'm more flexible. Though I get frustrated sometimes and just want to plan things and know what's going on!
 

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I have J types (ENTJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ...) and P types (ENFPs, ESTP, ISTP, ISFP...) in about 50/50 ratio among my friends.
I also have a general idea of what I'm working towards but it is certainly good to be open to new developments and info and be open enough to be willing to readjust ones 'masterplan' with the unforseen happenings and changes. Life is dynamic, not static, and there are new opportunities to change radically that arise unsuspectedly at times.
 

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Well, I am not INFJ but let me butt in ;) I am definitely influenced by other types. I observe the qualities they possess that I think would make my life much better and try to adopt some of that behavior. For example, I am the most disorganized person in the world, I cannot deal with schedules and find it very difficult to plan things. But my INFJ and INTJ friends' attitude towards life inspires me, and often I find myself making schedules and being organized and being literally possessed by J-ness haha
 

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I've really never evaluated the proportions of Js and Ps in my life. I feel like there was a lot of J influence in my life, but thinking on it now, I'm not really sure I can say that.

I know that I was taught quite a lot about things that might be associated with J preferences, but I never actually saw my parents role model their ideals very much. Reflecting, though, I've always sort of needed structure; even as a child, a lack of structure has lead to feelings of disorientation and stress for me. Conversely, I found the arbitrary structure requirements at school to be overly confining and distressful in their own way.

Personally? Hm. I do still like structure -- I like a tidy home and I like to have a plan for how my day is going to go, but the idea of having a perfectly tidy home, or having an overly detailed agenda for the day is stressful again. So, dirty dishes? No. Papers scattered on the table? Absolutely. Having a rough in for the day with a list of things I want to get done? Certainly. Planning it down to the time bracket? Absolutely not.

School is a great example of this. As a child, I liked having a structured environment -- knowing where I was to sit, and hang my things, and so on. Being told my notebooks were "a mess" and that I "can't follow rules," because I didn't do something arbitrary like underline the date twice. That said, as a student currently, I'm very effective at developing my own structures for keeping my work organized.

I entirely believe this is about balance. I feel that it's important to maintain a balance between structure and freedom, and that balance is different for every person and manifests in different areas to different degrees. I would speculate that this is a combination of personal preference and life experience, but I don't truly know since I don't have any real information to back it up, so call it a hunch and take it with that consideration.

As far as future planning goes, I have always been a future planner. Even as I entered high school, I had a plan for all the courses I would take for those five years based on a selection of possible post-secondary programs I might take based on what careers I could see myself eventually pursuing. (So, basically, that's a 13 year old planning on what they're going to do when they're 30.) I went through significant stress in my 20s when those plans started to go horribly awry in response to a number of unforeseen issues (health issues and traumatic accidents primarily) because I was stunned by eventualities I hadn't planned for. I was better able to navigate these when I learned to work with the fluctuations of chance/random events to the extent that I now have a framework developed specifically for dealing with crisis situations.

Part of that strategy is learning to let go which is its own process (with a structure to it, by the way, even if it doesn't always seem that way) and learning to rebuild, which is a structuring process in and of itself.

My partner seems to have a P preference. That isn't to say that he's disordered, rather that he's more open to spontaneity than I am, and has a higher need for freedom than structure than I do. Notably, he needs structure just as I need freedom, but the degree of need is very different. I think superlatives are important here: I am more structured, and he is more fluid. I see myself as a speck on a spectrum.

I would have to say that, of all the people I strongly sense as Ps who are involved in my life, my partner would probably be the person who has had the most influence. I do admit I'm more flexible in being with him out of necessity -- it was "be more flexible or go crazy," -- but I will say that he's changed a lot, too, to become more structured.

Just some thoughts.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I should tell you that I'm 14 and hoping to do medicine in college...so twenty years seems about right! It's like how you plan a career, but this one's easier because being a doctor is well...everything. It is your everything. I can do it because I'm determined and I need somewhere to go. Actually, I find it quite enjoyable. It's not so much as work, more like drifting off into space sort of planning. I don't research anything.
 
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