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Is there a inner conflict within you to be unique, and therefore noticed, and to fade into the crowds? Do you do something different then regret it because it puts you in the spotlight?

I don't know if this also applies to 4w3s - you guys let me know.
 

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Is there a inner conflict within you to be unique, and therefore noticed, and to fade into the crowds? Do you do something different then regret it because it puts you in the spotlight?
I totally relate to you on this. I read all the time, INFPs who dress so uniquely and have the Johnny Depp-magical kind of appearance to them. And I totally feel like that would be wonderful. But for me, that's just so hard....I don't want to stand out! The only time I want to stand out is if I'm performing something, but even then its pretty personal. I've been told by my non-INFP friends that I seem like a really normal guy until they get to know me, where they say I'm really unique.
 

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I've been told by this guy one time that I "stick out like a sore thumb". I never really got what he meant still to this day... I mean yeah, I know I function a little bit differently from the norm, but I never knew I would stick out like a sore thumb. To me, I guess, it was both a compliment and a bit of an insult. :mellow: But maybe I should take it as a compliment...

When you stick out, people will ALWAYS think and talk about you, whether or not they love you to bits. It makes you sorta "famous", so to speak. :crazy:
 

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I used to do this so much. I have learned to let myself be who I am more. I still have moments of regret when something particularly awkward or bizarre pops out of my mouth. I still buy clothes that I never wear for fear of standing out too much. But by having EXTREMELY accepting and equally bizarre friends, I have developed a sense of pride that I never knew I could have. I do things outside of my comfort zone all the time now. Not because the anxiety I've always carried with me is gone, but because I can soothe it with positive thoughts.
 

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i enjoy being noticed... just not examined. like in therapy sessions or something...
 
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Discussion Starter #7
I used to do this so much. I have learned to let myself be who I am more. I still have moments of regret when something particularly awkward or bizarre pops out of my mouth. I still buy clothes that I never wear for fear of standing out too much. But by having EXTREMELY accepting and equally bizarre friends, I have developed a sense of pride that I never knew I could have. I do things outside of my comfort zone all the time now. Not because the anxiety I've always carried with me is gone, but because I can soothe it with positive thoughts.
I have gone through a very similar process - I also have very odd and accepting friends who find my weirdness hilarious. Now I care somewhat less about blending in (although I still do when I'm alone in public) because I'm getting better at ignoring what other people think of me when I'm with my friends and acting strange.
 

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Crushes + friends in the past have mentioned that I have presence to me. A sort of vibe that is intimidating and unapproachable. One person actually went on to say that they felt inferior next to me. That was a complete mind blower to me because, like INFP denotes, I try to "inspire" people and make them feel comfortable.

I don't think that presence exists when I'm in a group that knows one another and I'm a new-comer of sorts. In those cases I'm usually quiet and less confident.
 

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I HATE being the center of attention or in the spotlight - it embarrasses me, pressures me, drains me, etc...

However, I have that desire to be unique - not so much to stand out for attention, but just as a form of self-expression, a fulfillment of some inner vision I have of myself. I NEED to do it, or I feel suffocated emotionally. I just don't feel like ME. And so, I dress how I want to dress, which sometimes garners attention - I don't wear anything very bizarre, but it can be offbeat or fashion-forward at times, especially for a small town. I feel like people stare at me no matter how I dress (paranoia, I am sure), so I might as well wear what I want, which can range from rather ordinary to pretty unique. In someways, my style is like my armor - it can intimidate people a bit, and maybe on some level I want that. In other ways, it has asserted my existence in a passive way - my image communicates for me, where I may otherwise be tongue-tied and seem bland to people. I think once I saw I could use fashion in that way, I never looked back.

As for behavior, I'm a very low-key person, but I do occasionally find myself trying adjust my behavior to be less "odd" if I notice people reacting to me in that way - it's something I find much harder to be aware of, and I suppose the obliviousness is good for my sanity :laughing:.

I always felt invisible, and still do, but every now & then I hear some tidbit that informs me that other people very much notice me, and it's always surprising. Unfortunately, people tend to read me as aloof, snobby and even confident instead of timid and shy....my demeanor says "go away" more than I intend it to.

As for achievements, I also find accolades embarrassing, but deep down I want some recognition, just without the fanfare. When I receive compliments, my instinct is to downplay them, but I've worked on just saying "thanks" graciously.
 

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Like a month ago, I bought these shoes that I loved so much.
I waited for them to go on sale, and I bought them.
But now I'm too scared to wear them in public.
They're like these black and white tuxedo shoes..

And today I wore these silver boots to my classes.
And people stared at me.
I hate that.

also,
I always felt invisible, and still do, but every now & then I hear some tidbit that informs me that other people very much notice me, and it's always surprising. Unfortunately, people tend to read me as aloof, snobby and even confident instead of timid and shy....my demeanor says "go away" more than I intend it to.
Me too..!
 

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Like a month ago, I bought these shoes that I loved so much.
I waited for them to go on sale, and I bought them.
But now I'm too scared to wear them in public.
They're like these black and white tuxedo shoes..

And today I wore these silver boots to my classes.
And people stared at me.
I hate that.

also,


Me too..!
Post up a picture, I'm curious :D
 
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Discussion Starter #12
Like a month ago, I bought these shoes that I loved so much.
I waited for them to go on sale, and I bought them.
But now I'm too scared to wear them in public.
They're like these black and white tuxedo shoes..

And today I wore these silver boots to my classes.
And people stared at me.
I hate that.
I've definitely done that with clothes - I'm so psyched about something but never wear it.

oh and btw, those shoes sound fantastic.
 
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well the boots I wore today with a white t shirt a gray blazer like thing and jeans. but I haven't worn the other ones in public yet. but i suppose I'd wear skinny jeans with a white or black t shirt?

People will look at me weird so probably I'll be too scared.
 

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well the boots I wore today with a white t shirt a gray blazer like thing and jeans. but I haven't worn the other ones in public yet. but i suppose I'd wear skinny jeans with a white or black t shirt?

People will look at me weird so probably I'll be too scared.
Hrm, I don't dress enough in women's clothing to fully visualize it.
I can see both shoes working with the right clothing though.

I was thinking the tuxedo shoes would look cute in a little skirt / dress outfit. They might stick out a bit too much jeans, unless you do a boot-cut style. Well, whatever you decide, snap a shot.

I understand how you can be a little freaky deaky about it. I think in the right outfit though it could be totally hot.


p.s. Sorry for going off topic~
 

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Oh - wing-tipped oxfords. I'd totally wear those. When I was a teen, I'd wear silver docs or B&W wing tip oxfords to school all the time. No boring tennis shoes everyday for me! :tongue:
 

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I always felt invisible, and still do, but every now & then I hear some tidbit that informs me that other people very much notice me, and it's always surprising. Unfortunately, people tend to read me as aloof, snobby and even confident instead of timid and shy....my demeanor says "go away" more than I intend it to.
I can third this. I guess I seem aloof, especially living in NYC, a lot of times I just can't handle all the faces everywhere. Some I know and so many others I don't, so I just completely zone people out and look at the scenery around me. In terms of my facial expression I think it's way more serious than I intend it to be, but it's impossible to compare my inner image of myself with what others see, and I wouldn't ask my friends about it although they might be able to clear up my misconceptions. Some of it may be paranoia, but I feel like I get looked at sometimes, usually by random girls that I would have no idea how to start a conversation with. I've been read as snobby, according to a friend at my first real job this summer, which is ironic because the root of that is my shyness, and I'm pretty insecure. I'm sure I look aloof a lot of the time given that I zone people out too. I wish I could put a sign on my forehead to counteract this effect, there are a lot of times that I'd love for a stranger to talk to me...
 

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Day to day, my dress is understated. I don't give much thought to my outward appearance, since I'm more concearned with my inner world, whatever that means. However, when an occasion calls for me to dress up, I deliberately choose dramatic statement pieces. I don't concioulsy do this to draw attention to myself, or to appear unique, but I do delight in standing apart from the crowd. This isn't to say that I think it neccessary to distinct myself to feel special, rather that I'm naturally drawn to eccentricity because I feel an affinity with the weird and unusual. I don't seek to be unique, because I feel in some ways I already am, I guess my dress just mirrors that. Sorry if this sounds pretentious.:unsure:

But like people have already mentioned here, I like to blend into the background, but I also want them to know I'm there.
 

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I'm an INFP 4w5 and I have no desire whatsoever to stand out. I like helping people, but at the same time, I see most interaction as superfluous. Simply being unique as an end in itself doesn't register to me, and if it's going to invite random people into my life, that would annoy me. :p
 
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