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Discussion Starter #1
This is the real reason why I felt compelled to write all of this. It is the spark, I guess.


In this video, the idea is presented that the main reason why INFPs feel the need to be someone else is because they represent the feminine. I agree with this to a point. It sparked quite a few questions in my head, though and I would like to present what came of them.

The question was presented of why INFPs seem to find themselves in a position of inferiority, in a way. The low woman/man on the totem pole when it comes to the group of introverted intuitives. It was presented that there seemed to be a hierarchy developing in the realm of IN's and there was a call for a better understanding of the equality between the types. I am all for that. Totally agree. I also agree that this could very well be a feminist issue. I would also like to propose that it is also more than that. INFPs are dealing with more than just being seen as feminine.

I hear the word archetype thrown about a lot. I can't claim to have a firm understanding of it so I may very well use the word incorrectly here. But, anyway... If we take a look at the introverted intuitives one can perhaps see an archetypal family structure.

INTJ - the father figure
INFJ - the mother figure
INTP - the male child
INFP - the female child

There you go. Not only is INFP feminine, but it is also perceived as being a child. And, I have not really looked farther into this, but I would suspect that those that are blessed with the P at the end of their type also carry a bit of that archetype with them as well. ISFP, ESFP, ISTP, ENTP, etc. etc. There is a certain feeling of playfulness that is associated with Ne and Se and I think that is perhaps the reason why it is also associated with youth. Just like there is a masculine feel to the Thinking functions and a feminine feel to the Feeling functions. That means that "J" would perhaps be commonly perceived as being more grown up and capable - the parent.

I have noticed this archetype (female child) playing out in my own life, as much as I resist it and try to push it away. Even though I am almost 40 years old and have experienced times of pretty decent achievement, I have a natural tendency to take on the role of the child in my relationships, and others (sometimes people I barely know) have a tendency of taking on the role of my protector. When I assert myself and try to step out of that role, I meet with resistance not only in myself, but in others around me. I think that is why I tend to sometimes come across as sensitive, defensive, acting-out, etc. There is a tendency to overcompensate, like I have to really work up the momentum to break through the wall because I feel crashing through is the only way to get past it. It can come across as me having a temper tantrum or being incredibly unreasonable/irrational.

(I also tend to test as an enneagram type 9, and can relate to quite a bit of enneagram type 6. This very well could explain quite a bit of how I have personally experienced functioning as an INFP and the roles I tend to play in life. So, I do suspect that there will be many INFP that may disagree with my interpretation -another reason why I keep this as a blog rather than a thread).

So, it makes sense that I am a bit touchy on the subject of being seen as being inferior in any way. It has been quite challenging as I have aged to constantly feel bombarded by this message that I do not meet up with expectation of what a competent woman my age should be (regardless of how successful I have been towards achieving my career and life goals). I imagine it would be even worse if I were a male FP type trying to live up to the standard that they are presented with. I don't know, I have never been a male FP.

The challenge for me is ultimately this: How do I come to terms with who I am and how I function? How do I come to terms with others' perceptions and reactions to me? How do I do this without falling into the extremes of docile doormat or crazy, irrational wild woman with fire shooting out of her ears? How do I process all of these negative messages that I receive from others and especially myself about my natural tendencies? How can I let go of being in the defensive role and put myself in a position of advantage? How can I turn what I currently see as my faults into something that works for me and not against me?

One idea that I would like to play with is this - I have taken on and processed much through my Fi about how the world works and how things should be. Perhaps it is time to use my intuition or perhaps even my thinking (gasp) and reinvent a few things and to put a new perspective on it.
1. There is nothing inherently wrong with my type or my functions.
2. A portion of my feeling that something about me is "off" is a result of my processing someone elses perception of me based on their understanding of their own functions (which has also been affected by how they have personally processed input from others based on others understanding of their types, and so on and so on).
3. Some of these judgments were accepted by me without being properly filtered through other functions that would have provided a more realistic view (either because I had not developed the function to that level yet, or some other reason.)
4. Since my primary function is Fi and it's gift for value judgments, this has caused my own particular warped view of who I am that includes the belief that something about me is inferior.

But... what if I recognize this as it is without automatically attaching a value judgment to it? (Something that has taken me almost 40 years to be able to do.) For a short time, I can recognize that there is a chance for me to be discerning about what I choose to place a higher value on. More accurately, I can be more discerning about what I deem as a worthy source. I can see that there is perhaps a way to move forward without trying to be someone or something that I am not.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I can finally admit Thinking is not my gift. It requires a lot of extra energy to do it well. I can also let go of my need to try to prove that I am good at it (according to my current standards of what that good is). So, I expect that there are some obvious,gaping holes. I am not done. It takes me a while to get to where I want to go sometimes (or to even figure out where I am going. lol.) More than half the time, I end up somewhere even better than where I originally planned to be (at least when it comes to my ideas - still working on real life.)


P.S. I also see a bias against subjective thought in my studies of Eastern religions (particularly Taoism) where practitioners are encouraged to view the world in a more objective way in order to provide insight towards their situation in life. There is a common tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater and come to the conclusion that subjective thinking is somehow bad. This has been a personal struggle for me, and I can understand why it was such a struggle since I now admit that I naturally lean toward the subjective side of things. But, if you take into the account the meaning that is present in the ying yang symbol. Subjective and objective thinking are dependent on each other and supportive of each other. The little dot of the opposing color that you see in the swirls represents the unity of the opposites. No matter how much it seems like it is one opposite over the other, they are never really separate. There is a seed of the opposite within it. The purpose is not to do away with one in favor of the other (that is futile, impossible), but to understand how they work with each other in order to provide an appropriate balance between the two that fits the current situation. This general idea applies toward all perceived opposites (male/female; young/mature; introverted/extroverted; etc.)

See, I told you that I can go on (endlessly). :)
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I watched a few of her videos and really liked them. I don't remember seeing Narcissist Typology. I will have to look it up. Thanks. :)
 
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