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Well, I came here perhaps for advice or maybe just to rant but I think as an INFP - it is really hard to stay focused on a goal. I must say this as I can't decide what exactly I want to focus on, I mean I sort of have a rough goal for the future, but it seems to change daily so I'm not getting very far... It is easier to focus on a goal when I'm in a system like school, but since I'm done for the time being I feel sorta, lost... I know most people dislike their early twenties so I don't feel bad being so muddled, I just want to give myself a better future by trying to help my present self.

I'm not sure what I should do career-wise.

In middle school, I learned how to love school and I enjoyed community college and got good grades and was on honor roll. School was never terribly hard for me, (except elementary school -those were awful times) as I discovered I had a decent short term memory so I tended to just study right before exams and tests and do well enough. I mean I never really stood out or anything (except one class where they thought I memorized everything- they just didn't study :/ ) so don't think I'm a genius or anything - far from it and I failed pre-cal in high school because I was overwhelmed with the workload - though now I'm teaching myself calculus 1 so I feel better for not doing well in that class and I feel like if I ever took the class at a school I might do reasonably well... I also understand what I would calculus for now so I really am trying to learn it, whereas in high school I had no idea why or how to use what I was learning.

I'm not that bright, I just like to work on problems, so I'm pretty slow, but I'll figure it out, and I like to figure it out. Though I am known for solving problems all the wrong ways and getting things to work that ought not.

Real life though, I don't know what to do with it. I'm not really very social, I don't really act my age (nor do I really want to), I like to be silly and goofy and well, I do terribly in the workplace. It's hard for me to open up or ask for help as I feel shamed by it and most of the time I don't think I need help. So I keep to myself and avoid talking unless I have to. It has always been tough for me to make friends as I can be pretty aloof and most people I know share little in common with me. I also get really overwhelmed with people so retail jobs are just a slow death to me and I almost quit at work, but they decided to have me try a different job so I temporarily have more time there. I have another short term job lined up as a tech teacher at a camp for 5 weeks so I don't mind quitting if it comes to that (I would much rather quit then be fired. :crying:) The tech teaching job is sooo much better than any other job I have ever had, it's fun to teach a different topic every week and the pay is great plus there is normally other people I work with so don't have to deal with everyone by myself.

See the big problem was I got a degree in Game Design because I'm both an artist and programmer and I figured Game Design would cover both, but the sadly the degree was focused on writing. I, for the most part, am a terrible terrible writer. I'd had plenty of people tell me I'm an awful writer (Though I'm a decent poet and songwriter), so I never wanted to pursue writing... And here I have a degree for it.

So I want to somehow have a job as perhaps a technical artist or gameplay/UI/animation programmer as I have built a simple drawing program with layers and different brushes and stuff (granted it was in a high level language) and I have worked on a few games (granted I haven't finished them as I am an INFP and games take forever to finish...Especially by yourself. I tried to create teams in high school but it always fell apart. ) I mean I enjoy designing games, but I want to make them a reality so I prefer programming over design...

I'm self taught in both art and programming so I have many flaws, I've been creating art my whole life and thought when I was young I would become an animator, then I decided I wanted to create games so I taught myself programming. (The drawing program was my attempt at creating Flash since I couldn't afford it... I understand how I would animate but exporting the animation is the problem....)

And here I am in retail, I don't have a useful degree or decent portfolio. I know generally how to program in any language (Once you learn one, the next gets easier and easier), but I haven't done a great deal in any of them (Though C# is my favorite so far). I don't really have a "real" degree and I'm trying to avoid going into debt for a degree because it split up my parents and caused them to lose the house and well, I'm bad at keeping a long term jobs frankly because I have trouble with people and start to withdraw under stress. (I'm working on it but I can only do so much.) The degree I have I obtained with financial aid so I pretty much got it for free...

I try very hard to be a pleasing person and would never get mad at anyone but I'm terrible at mulitasking, and time management and well, dealing with people. I also start to assume I'm doing bad if people don't remind about my good aspects, I know that is another flaw I have to work out. I don't have a great deal of support and quickly become imitated by people who know what they are doing so I haven't actually had any programming jobs besides teaching. I haven't had any art jobs either. I only play around with programming as a hobby, I don't really know any other programmers personally, and I don't know any artists I really respect as artists (Their work is questionable and I want to fix it. I really enjoy redrawing someone's work and figuring out how it could look better.:perc2: though I almost never show them, don't want to hurt their feelings but sometimes it can inspire them.)

So even if I were to go for a "real" degree, I'm not sure if I would go for an art degree or a programming degree. I flip-flop so often between those two fields I find it hard to focus on just one aspect because they both free some different aspect of myself and when I find myself under stress in one field I flop to the other field.

And in the end, I teach myself whatever I want to learn so I hate paying for classes when I'll just teach myself for free. You can find everything online nowadays. Though, it doesn't have an ounce of respect a degree gets you.

I also have always hated the idea of working for someone else and have always dreamed of running my own company but I also know with my current flaws of lack of self-disciple ie. follow-through, time management, people skills and good business sense I would really struggle with this. Besides saving up for a business is hard to do.

I just don't want to end up like my parents, working jobs they hate to get paid so little and end up in debt or divorcing from money and other factors. My parents say I should just hold onto these jobs I have now or get an actual job but I struggle with both. :/ I just can't stay where I'm not needed or wanted for very long...

So I guess, I'm sorta looking for advice, general or not. I understand to gain something I have to give up something and I guess that is my big decision, I hate to give up my one of my key interests. :/ (I have so many countless other interests from learning foreign language (I slightly know 3-4 other languages) to animal training and herbalism and health that I don't mind giving up, those side hobbies can stay in the background. But these 2 interests (art and programming) are who I am as a person and I think I need them in my life to feel like what I'm doing is what I can and should be doing.) Also as a female in a mainly male field (programming), I can feel very small when going to programming events, (I don't mind that much but once in a while it does bother me when I realize I'm the only girl in the room. I also look 12-18 so that doesn't help much. ) I feel proud when I have good answers and questions but kinda feel like I am letting down my side of the gender when I fail at something :p Pressure! I know it doesn't really matter but oh man, would you believe what people say about women. :frustrating: Most of the time, it's not an issue though, but it can be a little lonely now and then.

Not sure what I expect to get out of posting this as it is pretty personal, but I feel better at least trying to figure out what I should be doing.

TL;DR
Trying to
find my place in the world without degree yet using programming and art.
 

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Basic advice, INFP to INFP:

1. Use that Ne and explore possible careers. No need to figure everything out today. I would email possible future employers, ask about qualifications and look for job descriptions to give you an idea about what a career would look like.
2. Don't assume you're always going to have certain flaws later in life.
3. You career should be something you're passionate about. Or it has to be flexible enough for you to engage in your passions aside that career.
4. Decide if you want to do the same thing every day, or something new every day. Most jobs are one or the other 99% of the time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 · (Edited)

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Basic advice, INFP to INFP:

1. Use that Ne and explore possible careers. No need to figure everything out today. I would email possible future employers, ask about qualifications and look for job descriptions to give you an idea about what a career would look like.
2. Don't assume you're always going to have certain flaws later in life.
3. You career should be something you're passionate about. Or it has to be flexible enough for you to engage in your passions aside that career.
4. Decide if you want to do the same thing every day, or something new every day. Most jobs are one or the other 99% of the time.
Hmmm... I like that part about saying not to assume I'll have certain flaws in life. I find that the hardest thing to wrap my mind around, as much as I instantly think I can solve all my flaws, I do try to be realistic which is pretty challenging as an INFP. One day I'm like yeah, I can conquer the world, the next I'm like life is not worth living.

Number 4 is the big thing, I like both as the same thing every day allows me to focus on my other hobbies and the other allows me to learn and explore more throughout the day... I really just need a predictable schedule with a lot of opportunities to learn and advance but some quiet time to do some simple work now and then. Since I'm in retail at the moment my schedule is all over the place and I find it hard to really plan well and I think that is my biggest issue....

Good news is I might be getting a cross promotion (maybe, still in the works) as I'm leaving one department to go to an advanced section in another. My supervisors think it could work out well, just need to talk to the head boss. I would be working in tech which I prefer anyway.
 
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Hehe, yeah, I had to post that... Pretty much the enemy of any INFP.
Tell me about it. In a society where specialty is highly valued and generality is kind of looked down upon due to not being profitable enough, I can imagine that many INFPs often have a difficult time during that transitional period between adolescence and maturity where you're expected to "stick with" something. As for working dead end jobs, school debt, and working in a career one is not necessarily passionate about simply because it's more profitable, often while still barely scraping by, these are problems faced by virtually everyone in this society who isn't filthy rich, but it can be especially tough for INFPs due to their need to live authentically.
 
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