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Discussion Starter #1
This isn't an advice thread. I just want to know the current relationships with infp's and their parents/family.

To be honest, I'm not close to my family at all. I avoid them so I don't become anything like them. My dad is my anti-role model, being a notre dame grad and a very wealthy land-man. My mom is a drunk. My siblings just annoy me with their emotional outbursts. I tend to stay in my room and isolate myself and I feel quite fine on my own. Bottom line, I'm not very close to my family. I lack sincerity when it comes to them. Now you guys share.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
oh and my dad isn't my anti role model for being successful, I just don't understand how he is happy doing what he does and living with my mom and why he makes me think I should follow his footsteps.
 

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I clash with my mom at times and my dad often keeps to himself because he's rather introverted, but in general we do pretty well as a family. Things are a lot nicer with my brother out of the house, too. When he's home he tends to annoy everybody.

I'm definitely not buddy-buddy with my family members, but at least with my immediate family and my dad's side, I'm comfortable enough with them that I'll just talk to them if they're in the vicinity. Not necessarily full fledged conversation, maybe just some comments or something. With my mom's side, I'm pretty quiet, but they tend to be kind of... uh... harder to deal with.

I doubt there's any real trend as far as relationships between INFPs and their families go.
 

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my mom is and accountant, all about practical things and rules, keeps evertying runnin, and takes care of all the things that need to be done. she's the snow queen, can be really cold and distant emotionally, its like feelings dont even exist for her, and she loves to critisize. hates my silly way of livin with head in the clouds. i havent seen her smile in the longest time, i think she has depression, nothing makes her happy.
my dad is warmer but hes kinda irresponsible and naive and if my mom wasnt the bad cop he'd prolly make a lot of stupid decisions. hes social, likes to talk to ppl and they find him amusing. we're buddies. hes an alcoholic. talks stupid shit when hes drunk.
those two should never be together, they push each others buttons so hard that i dont know how they still can even look at each other.
my brother used to be cool but now hes a politician and a businessman all about money very successfull and hard workin, work n buying new fancy things is the sense of his life. his wife is even worse. shes prolly one person that i jsut cant stand being around coz shes so fake and greedy.
i still live with my parents, i hava a whole floor to myself tho, so i usually jsut sit in my room doin my things, i see them when i come back from work, i see them when im in the kitchen, sometimes we talk about unimportant things like stuff that happen who said what, whats goin on in the world, how they bought groceries how much it cost and which store has the cheapest lettuce n so on, we get along fine if we talk bout matters that dont matter, thats what i figured. then i dash off to my room and dats mostly it.

i despise family gatherings theyre a torture to me. we meet for holiday dinners a couple times a year obviously and honestly i wish there was a "i dont care about the crap ur sayin" pill, id take a pack of those b4 i go see them.
all they talk about is work and money related things, which i soo dont care about, so im mostly not a part of the big convo goin on. theyll ask me about college and work, im nto very successfull at that and i dont feel comfortable talkin about it at the table, last time my brother and mom made fun of me coz they figured my bothers monthly earnings are bigger that what i get a year. but honestly for me my salary is ok, at least i like my job. and my brothers wife omg dont even let me start on that one. she pisses me off with every single thing she says, its like in every sentence shes tryin to pick a fight or offend me, not directly, but in between the lines.

all my family has some serious anger issues. when they burst out its worse than a nuclear war, u gotta run and hide or u die. when my mom starts yellin at me for no real reason and i dont even know what shes talkin about and i hear her say all those mean things about me i know i jsut have to listen and i cant talk back. coz if i do say sth itll get a whole lot worse, so i listen then i go to my room, lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling, trying to calm down but im broken in a million pieces and it takes a long time b4 im fine again. fortuanley it doesnt happen as often as back when i was a teenager, i learned to live with it now and im copin better.

i always felt greatly misunderstood, its like i say one thing and they interpret it in a totally diff way, like they put words in my mouth that ive never said or meant, that feels so unfair, and i cant even explain what i mean coz they dont care dont listen and wont get it anyway. i learned to live with it. however sometimes i start to wonder esp when they critisize me, am i really that person they're talking about. coz i dont think i am, i feel like theyre talkin about someone else, but maybe if my own mother says im this or that, maybe thats what i rly am but i jsut dont see it?
anyway, i wasnt ever close with my family. i have a great connection with some of my freinds who understand me without words, and most ppl like me as a person, thats what makes me feel normal.
anyway, im not complaining, of course i love my family and i know i owe them evertying, they brought me up and gave me opportunity to grow and do what i wanted in my life, and i knwo that they love me and want the best for me, coz its unconditional love, even if they hurt me they prolly do it so i ahve a motivation for growth, and i cant blame them for treatin me bad sometimes, they have their own issues.

thats ql that we have that thread coz i was gonna ask if u guys have mommy/daddy issues, i wonder if theyre common in infps. im inclined to think that the family can have a great impact on your personality. example, my mom and dad have been fighting since i can remeber, and i always hated it, it made me feel sick in my stomach, and i always wanted to help them and solve their conflict, so id go from one to the other being a little negotiatior and work on fixin it.
isnt that what infps generally do? they hate conflict and they try to resolve it. i duno.
anyhow, have a good day fellow infps :)
 

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I don't always get along with my family very well. Thank God this is only extending to parents and siblings.

Straight up: I get along with my dad best- ISTP. However, he honest-to-God frustrates me at times. DX We can joke around and tease eachother and generally just have a fun time, but there are some things we just don't see eye-to-eye on. For starters, he pretends to listen, and then goes off and does his own thing. Really now. That laid back attitude is good sometimes, but other times it really screws me and others up. He also cheated on my mum... twice. Not too sure what to think of that.

I spend a lot more time with my mum than my dad, but I barely make the effort to communicate with her. We can share various opinions- we're both disgusted by child abuse and such, can understand what the other one is trying to get at even when they can't find the right words, generally just have a good understanding of eachother (or me of her, at least) and surprisingly have the same views on most things (leading me to wonder if she's an ENFP sometimes, due to our rather obvious similarities in drawing conclusions)- but I just don't respect her. She lets my stepdad walk all over her. She attempts guilt manipulation which annoys me. She seems to choose my stepdad over her own children... Crap like that. She's also overly-protective of me in some ways, thinking that I'm going to go and get pregnant at an early age like my sisters did. Please. Have a little more respect.

My oldest brother is probably one of my favourites. He's quiet, but I suspect he might just seem extraverted to some, which he may get off my dad. The two of us kinda exchange friendly banter at times, and genuinely make each other grin. He's not really easy to be around - his childlike comebacks leave me stumped for words a lot of the time - but I like him. He makes me smile, and isn't like my judgemental sisters.

My oldest sister is the sweet and kind one of my family- a definite Extravert as well. Both my sisters get along with each other and my mum really well. She's like mum's little princess- you can't tell her anything without expecting it to get back to my mother. The two of us put up with each other, only talking to one another if it's convenient, and I like her because she's compassionate and easy to talk to. And unfairly pretty. :O But still. I prefer her over my OTHER sister...

Who is a complete bitch. Which probably shouldn't be my place to say but... yeah. I don't like being bossed around. I swear she's a ESxJ- the J really clashing with how I operate. She strikes me down with criticism, which I hate. Telling me I'm hopeless and slow is NOT going to make me get the job done any faster. She seems really nice to others but... bleh. I don't like her. When she was pregnant, there was just constant arguing going on between us, and I hated it. However, she has her uses. Fashion, make-up, etc. We get along sometimes. But our bad points seem to blot out the good a lot of the time.

As for my dad's girlfriend, my stepfather, and my younger brother, I really can't be bothered. Plus I don't really believe anyone wants to hear it. XD
 

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My mother is INFJ and I'm very close to her. I am able to tell her anything and everything, which greatly surprises my friends who are unable to be so open with their moms. Ever since I was a teenager, I've been able to tell her about the crushes I had, who I kissed, everything.
My dad is a complete TNTP so we grew up without really being hugged or anything (I didn't miss it). We always had books in the house, books were treated with respect, music was appreciated, my brother and I have both had a strong sense of a will to learn instilled in us.
My brother and I don't get along for the most part. He's bipolar (probably INTP) and has always been quite violent. When he's missed his medication or if they are trying to stabilise his dosage, he is unbearable. He is sweet when he's normal, but that doesn't last very long, unfortunately. When we were children, he knew I was getting preferred over him as I was younger and more frail, so he's grown up with a big chip on his shoulder. To be honest, we could have a lot in common if we bothered to find out, but we just avoid each other for the most part, or clash terribly when we do meet.
My dad was a bit cold and distant towards us at first but he and I have begun to really bond. He and my brother still clash a lot.
 
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Ha, just made a post about my dysfunctional family. Our relationship is terse, to put it bluntly.

My mum is ESFJ and always trying to plan me, I find it really frustrating sometimes and I got curiously annoyed by her tidying my room when I was in it once, like she'd disturbed my sanctuary.
My dad is ESTJ or ISTJ, we get on well enough actually as long as I talk about sport or the less ideological aspects of politics. He doesn't get my music but will still come to watch me. Loves his sport. I think although he has annoying habits like all of us, he's a pretty decent person.
My sister is ENFJ and I adore her but get annoyed at the extent to which everyone else does. As a highly successful older sister, and an ExxJ like both of my parents people tend to get her a lot more than they get me. My parents on some subconscious level wish I could be more like her because they like her more. I don't hate them for this - given that we all have different personalities it's just natural hat some people like other people more than others.
My twin brother is INTP. Even more reclusive than me, gaming in his room most of the time (although makes plenty of friends through gamine actually). Nice guy but intimidates people somehow, they assume he hates them. We used to get on terribly but now get on quite well.
 

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My father is an ESFJ who is always the life of the party wherever he goes. I tell him that social gatherings tire me out quickly and he makes remarks about how I couldn't possibly by his son. Jokingly of course.

My mother is ISFJ and is always very loving and helpful. Both of them are really.

My brother is INTJ, and has probably taken my place as the "child we hope will go places" in my parent's eyes. I guess we get a long fairly well, but he always has to be right about his positions, and his success in debate team hasn't exactly helped that. He still can't beat me in any argument we get into.

All in all my family is pretty loving and nurturing, but I just feel so alienated from them all. My parents don't really get where I'm coming from whenever I explain to them how I'm feeling or why I chose to do something. I'd like to get out and live on my own as soon as possible.
 

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My parents and I have a very distant relationship. I rarely speak to my father because of his alcoholism.
I almost feel as if I am a parent to my siblings because they're so young and have no one else to look to for help. Both of my parents are addicts whom fight frequently, sometimes physically. My siblings are young and know nothing but that life.
I am always carrying around feelings of guilt, and pity, and I long to fix it all but can only give them love. I cannot take back the things that are said to them, or that they've witnessed.

I try not to think about them, because it just makes me sad.
 
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My immediate family are all extroverts and that sometimes clashes with my mode of living. When I was younger they used to really not understand that I liked being alone(for the most part) and was good at entertaining myself. My mom was really paranoid about this and actually perceived my shyness for falling on the autism spectrum.....and I most certainly do not.

My mother is ESFJ and can be really controlling and doubtful of me a good amount of the time. I love my mother but we are totally different people. A lot of the time she likes to make me feel guilty about my opinions or choices I've made. She is the type to remind you of your wrong doings and whenever she is right, she thinks that automatically makes her right 100% of the time. With her J being dominant, she doesn't understand the orderly chaos that is my room and often gets on my case about that. She isn't much of a pushover and she's really kind of sensitive, but I really understand that what she does is because she genuinely loves me, but isn't very good at viewing situations from my perspective. She just isn't very good with understanding the implications of her actions.

My dad is an ESTP and he is the more understanding one of my parents. I have always been able to count on him to schedule and research things for me. I have a lot of respect for him since he is super hard working, to a point of relentlessness, and it doesn't affect his psychological well being. I've had some good conversations with him about concrete matters....but he's not really an esoteric sort of thinker like I am. He's concerned with the NOW....which I don't relate with. He really likes to mow the lawn and enjoys world war 2 history...the simpler pleasures of life amrite?

My little brother is an ENTJ. I love my brother and we have the best discussions and he's a very intelligent 16 year old, but we are as different as night and day. Also he is going through puberty right now so he's being a bit of a douche, and typical of his age he thinks he is right about everything. Luckily for me, we agree on a lot of things, but when he has his facts all wrong he tries to shut you down and deny your logic in order to feel like he is still right. Also I think my parents have placed way more hope in him due to his academic success, since he's committed to school and it doesn't really stress him out. He likes to think that since he got better grades than I in high school it means he is overall more intelligent than I am....but my parents insist thats not the case at all.

When I was younger I used to shy away from family gatherings and retreat into books and computers because I hated shmoozing, (and still do) and for awhile my family just thought I was this grumpy gills miserable person like my aunt was (who I've assessed is an ISTJ.......quite opposite from the real me.) In reality, I was just a very shy, very unconfident kid. Once I found my self confidence, I've really gotten along with most of my extended family quite well and don't find the need to retreat into safety.
 

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I.. well. My mom lives very far away. We still speak, she's a great person, I'm like her little clone. Her husband... well.. I don't ever care to remember him.
I have NO relationship with my dad or his wife. I intend to pretend they never existed.. My oldest brother, never knew him, I've met him, but he's been in prison my whole life and I don't really care to meet him.
My brother, we have a close relationship. We rarely see eachother anymore. I have a hard time saying "I love you" to him, though I do... It's instinctual I'd assume as he used to torture me when we were growing up, he was awful, violent, and angry... demeaning me all the time. But we're great friends now.
My roommate is kind of like family. I have a hard time being around her and her family together.. just because the very idea of family makes me incredibly nervous, it makes me hot under my skin, makes me feel cold and hot, scared, I panic, it muddles my thoughts and makes me feel paralyzed... Her sister just came over to take her out to dinner and I couldn't get myself to go downstairs to say hi, I freaked out and just.. didn't say a thing x.x
I'm not sure how to work through these issues.. not sure if I ever will. I realize I have issues with even living with people partially because of this. I can hardly even eat at the same table as other people. I can't sit on the same couch as a family or multiple members of 1 family, I have to sit on the floor far away or pace.
I've been recently trying to actually deal with all of this.. Not really sure what to do though. I have no family as far as I'm concerned, never have. I don't have cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Just a mother I IM and a brother I see every month or so..
 

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I love my family lol. they're my support system and I really don't know what I would do without them.

My mother and I see the world differently..she's an ISFJ. I don't want to make the same choices that she made (and still makes) in life. She's impulsive, self-absorbed, impatient, quick tempered and just doesn't have the same amount of care that I do. We used to fight a lot, I must admit, but things have gotten better recently. (I guess I've matured a bit too).
I've always had a great relationship with my dad. My older brother and I used to be sooooo close but now he's so into his own head :(
my younger brother and I have an amazing relationship. It's almost incestuous.
Anyway, I love my family and I couldn't imagine not having them behind me.
I know many teenagers get into that phase where only their friends matter...I've never felt that way.
 

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I'm old and I'm also the oldest of 8 siblings. We are close but not in constant contact with each other. There are just too many of us. I am closest with one sister who is also INFP but I love all my siblings very much.

My mother was an angel. We lost her 6 years ago last week. She was ENFP and the most talented person I have ever known. Yet while she was a doctor and a concert pianist and the best athlete in our very athletic family, she also devoted her life to helping children, all children everywhere if she could. My dad, also a doctor, is still going strong at 82. He and I are as close as we can be--not as close as he is with some of my other siblings, but that's totally ok. Our relationship is ours and is exactly what it should be considering who each of us is. He is INTP and quite taciturn. We share almost all the same values, but we come at the world with very different perspectives. He doesn't always understand the way I make decisions, but he accepts me and is proud of what I've accomplished.

Everyone in my immediate family is N and P. Our extended family is extraordinary in its diversity. I love my family.
 

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My family is dysfunctional. Except for my younger sister I don't get along with anyone else.

To put it simply my father has ruined our family life with his extreme narcissism and temper. It is very difficult and too complicated to explain in detail what it is that he has done, but believe me when I say that he cares about himself only and nobody else. However, my mother didn't help the situation because she enabled and excused my father's selfish, abusive behavior, and she sometimes denied that she did anything wrong. So I am equally pissed off at her.

Thinking too much about my family makes me physically ill. I don't get as angry and overemotional as I used to be, but there is still a dull rage that burns inside me when I think of my parents.
 
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