My despair is quite intense, crippling even. When I fail, it becomes objectively obvious to me that my situation is hopeless, and I skulk about it for a few days, caught in some awful existential crisis in which I wonder what I matter to the world at large, and whether or not suicide is a socially responsible option, since it would mean less resources consumed by me and more available for the rest of the planet. And, of course, I yell at God for a bit, too, desperately crying for him to show what he intends for me, if anything, and not to place me in situations where I can be tortured by temporary hope and have it dashed shortly after. The problem is, there is hardly such a thing as a minor mistake or failure to me, because they happen with such frequency that I have this awful tendency to think about everything that is going wrong, or ever went wrong in my life instead, and see them all as connected.
Even if I am intellectually aware that these things aren't true, or that I'm being irrational, the feelings don't go away that easily.